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2013 Shows

Bridgette says she’s terrified of her boyfriend, James, who she claims is verbally and physically abusive, controlling and jealous -- and she says she fears he could kill her. She claims he has attacked her, pushed her to the ground and thrown objects at her. Bridgette says James’ rage gets so out of control, he punches holes in walls and has even put out a lit cigarette on his own body in anger. Bridgette, who has a 6-year-old son, says she’s scared to leave -- and scared to stay. James admits that he has an anger problem but says, “It’s her fault that I get as mad as I do.” Dr. Phil’s wife, Robin McGraw, shares the chilling details about children who witness domestic violence, and attempts to open Bridgette's eyes to the need to protect her son. Then, two women who say they survived brutal attacks at the hands of their abusive boyfriends share their stories. Will their near-death experiences inspire Bridgette to stand up for herself -- and her son? And, six months ago, with the help of Dr. Phil and Robin, Julie faced her boyfriend -- who she claims was abusive -- and ended their relationship. How is she now? Plus, if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, tune in to learn how to make a safe exit.

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: ctirish on Oct 9, 2013, 10:31AM
We need to be truthful to each other and we need  to support each other. My mother  told me as a teenager,  if any boy or man raises his hand to you,  you get up and walk out.  Don't wait for him to hit you, if. he raises his hand to you,  he will hit you in time.  You are doing him a favor if you leave,  maybe  he will realize that raising a hand to a woman isn't  acceptable.  

This doesn't mean you get to swear at him, hit him or emotionally abuse him.  The person who stays calm is the hero.   
Replied By: whatcanisay on Oct 4, 2013, 6:45PM
I don't know what is more sad the guests or reading the posted comments. I have seen it all in my life when it comes to domestic violence, yet somehow I get up take a deep breath give thanks and move on.......
Replied By: joeanne1969 on Oct 4, 2013, 10:54AM
I am a women who was in a abusive relationship for 10 years in that time i thought i was in love and did not want to leave when i finally did i felt free if that makes sense he beat me on a daily basis i lost family members, i thought that nobody could tell what was happening i was wrong i have been out of that situation for about 9 years i have become a very strong women since then i am married now to a wonderful man who loves me yes we fight but he would never talk or treat me like the other guy did i am very happy now and i just wish that i could let these women know that there is life after things like this i always thought that my sons didn't see what was happening but now that they are grown men they always tell me that they would hear me scream and cry when this man would drag me to the bedroom by my hair he broke my arm by throwing me across the room i am a survivor and i am proud of that i learned from my mistakes do i regret that time in my life of course but i feel that it made me a stronger person and a better one as well if you think that there is no way out there is i am living proof of that.
Replied By: clive_canhome on Oct 4, 2013, 12:39AM - In reply to karolmhere
I have seen this type of behavior all too often between family, friends, and acquantances and am sick of it. The strangest part of it all, however, is that I have often been 'punished' for getting involved and stopping or saving whom I understood was the victim by the victim. I'm at the point that I am less certain now about the burdening onuses upon any one individual within violent relationships. While it is certain that one person is usually the more directly and more physically violent, the other is more indirect and more psychologically violent. It doesn't in any means mean that it excuses any of them. But it is easier to see how the physical aspects of violence can be more obvious and in extreme cases, much quicker and unpredictable. 

It is usually for these reasons that many victims of physical violence initially pause to question their role in the problem. Another, for which I can attest to myself, is that sometimes the attention we seek from others in means of violence is much better than the silence of being ignored and left alone. And especially if we have no better personal experience to realize something better out there.
Replied By: karolmhere on Oct 3, 2013, 12:26PM
I have never felt so inclined to write and speak out publicly but when this show aired I have been so moved and at the same time sickened that I felt I had to respond for the first time ever. Dr. Phil, I had to wait to make a comment about Bridgette and the show because I find myself crying about it all. She is in such denial it scares me and breaks my heart. I have seen this before up close. 4 years ago my only daughter, 29 years old,  was murdered by her ex-boyfriend, while she was 6 months pregnant. After she had broken off their relationship he stalked her and then set all the motions in place to get her alone and murder her. Thank God her two children were out of harms way but will forever have to continue on with their lives without their mommy and unborn baby brother. While in court he told the judge that he had lost control of her and had lost her with her making her own decisions and going on with her life without him.  I hope Bridgette wakes up before it is too late but reading her body language and face expressions while listening to the other women who had been abused, I got the horrible feeling that all Bridgette was thinking was that this will never happen to me because none of you know him like I do and he loves me. Back to crying and praying for her and all who are abused in their relationships.
Replied By: jennef on Oct 2, 2013, 5:36PM
All her facial expressions & body language show she's still not convinced. She will go back to him.

He's going to to be a thousand times more angry after this show.

I shudder to think about what could happen.
Replied By: cassie172 on Oct 2, 2013, 1:39PM - In reply to cassie172
Dr Phil, when a woman is in this situation, so are her children.  And its beyond necessary to have that child in therapy to recover, just as the woman needs therapy.  For my children, we did that and we also had therapy that involved the three of us together.  

I left because I didn't want my children to grow up with that kind of violent life.  I knew it would just end up with a repetition of the cycle.  And it did.  My ex was furious when we left with our escape plan.  That was in 2007.  To this day  he is still full of rage.  Since I have made it so that he cannot come near me or contact me except through lawyers or police, he ended up showing and rewarding my 11yr old son if he abused me.  And I mean serious abuse:  sleeper holds, electrical cords around my throat, butcher knives used, tools, purposely damaging electronic items, furniture, other property.  It got so dangerous for me that the police finally said, they were concerned for my safety and not just in terms of injury, in terms of a child thinking he was doing right by his father, and killing me.  They would have charged him if he was 12 but that was 3 months away and the authorities did not believe I had another 3 months if I chose to live like this.

I would have used a fake name/alias in years past but now I refuse.  This is part of my story, part of who I am and I refuse to feel shame, guilt and hide what I've been through.  It may embarass my parents, brother, etc but this is my life.  Anyone who is not supportive of me and understanding or who thinks I should hide my story, is not someone I need in my life...they only perpetuate the shame and notion that this type of abuse needs to be hidden.  It needs to be uncovered and talked about until there is as much awareness of abuse as there is about the weather..
Replied By: cassie172 on Oct 2, 2013, 1:23PM
I lived what this woman lives.  And you owe it to your kids to get out and get better immediately.  For every second you spend in fear, every moment you shed a tear, for every insult you hear an hour, for every threat you lose your power, for every time you feel the shame, for every moment you carry the blame....your child carries the burdens you do and that child loses a piece of him/herself, just like you.
Replied By: carlan on Oct 2, 2013, 11:26AM - In reply to transcriber45
I agree with the previous poster that it was wonderful to get an update on Julie.I very clearly remember the episode she originally appeared on, with her abuser. I don't remember the guy's name, but I do recall that he ranted, RIGHT IN FRONT OF DR. PHIL, that Julie was a "liar," and that "nobody likes her." I mean, how much more "textbook" can you get? "You'd better stay with me; nobody else will have you."

Okay, great - now I'm ranting. 
Back to topic: I'm so glad that Julie, whose spirit was no doubt beaten down by years of abuse, found the gumption to make big, no doubt sometimes scary changes in her life. In spite of Whatshisname's foolish spouting, she seems to me to be a very pleasant, likeable person. I hope Bridgette will follow her example. Her boyfriend (James?) demonstrated his commitment to change by stomping out of the studio.

I also thought it was a TERRIFIC  idea to have Robin featured so prominently on this show. She seems to have such a kind, strong, comforting spirit.
And does she look gorgeous with bright lipstick, or what? :)   
Replied By: tbonet on Oct 2, 2013, 10:49AM
It is always hard to understand why anyone would stay in an abusive relationship.   I had my share of experiences in my late teens and early twenties and you always believe they are going to change.   The abusers usually does not, the abusiveness escalates to a higher level.   I only dated these men so my abuse was not in the presence of my home.    These mens are so insecure.   My boyfriend when I was in high school would not let me have friends.  He would spy on me to make sure I did not talk to anyone that he did not approve of.    Another relationship was with a abusive pathological liar and was very controllings as well.  What I can say about these two relationship is they started with high loving intensity.   They made me feel loved and spoiled me  like a princess, flowers and romance.  Calling all the time.   Back decades ago police did not get involved in Domestic Violence.  The scars still haunt me today.  I later married the most loving man who would never put his hands on me.   So there are some good ones out there.     I love the advice from this show.   Bridgette, you do not need to live in fear.   James was given a huge opportunity  in life and he chose not to take Dr. Phil's gift.   He should have tried to find out if he could live a different way.      The other guests on this show were so inspiring, their courage.    And Julie, you were given a new life and it shows on you physically, You look Beautiful.  !!!!!      There was one thing that I did not see covered on the show is the early on abuse, the first hit, choking or slapping.    The abuser will be so regretfully sorry, they will cry, beg for forgiveness. They will promise to change.   Suddenly it is turned around and you are comforting them.   I think back in the day they called it the Cycle of Abuse.   Full circle, returning right back to the show if these abusers do not seek help.  Get out early on.
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