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2013 Shows

 
In a Dr. Phil exclusive, grieving parents open up about their daughter’s tragic death to help save other teens who may be making dangerous choices online. Jason and Kristine say their 15-year-old daughter, Nichole, was allegedly abducted and killed by a man she had been communicating with on Facebook. The couple shares their heartbreaking story -- and a powerful message for Mary, Jude and 17-year-old Missy, who admits to fearlessly engaging in relationships with random men she meets online. Will their experience make an impact? And, how can Nichole’s parents move forward after such a devastating loss? Then, professional locator Troy Dunn speaks candidly with Nichole’s friends about their online activity. Have they taken additional precautions since losing their friend? Parents: If your child is active on the Internet, don’t miss this important show.

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: tbonet on Sep 20, 2013, 7:50PM
First,  my condolences to Kristin and Jason in the loss of your beautiful daughter Nichole.   My heart was breaking just watching your story.   I know evil people have always existed, it is just hard to understand how someone can do this to someone.   What is going on in their insides.    Thank you for sharing your story.  I have friends with children a little younger then Nichole, I know they are already on the Internet.   Their parents watch Dr. Phil so I know they will see your story.   If this message does not open Missy's eyes then I do not know what to say.  She seems to be a loss soul.  They did not mention her relationship with her biological father.   She already survived one attack and lived through it.  She knows first hand what can happen.    I hope Dr. Phil and his resources can help this family.  Missy is going to be 18 soon and a legal adult.  Time is of the essence.     Blessing to the families from this show.  Thank you.    
 
Replied By: brokenheart40 on Sep 20, 2013, 11:03AM
I thank you for doing this show because there are so many people that think it will never happen to them or someone they know my heart is broken I can't imagan the pain her family is going through and I want to thank Kristine and Jason for shareing what has happend I really hope people wake up and relize that they need to take the blinders off and help Kristine and Jason raise awarness
 
Replied By: imperatrice on Sep 20, 2013, 10:51AM - In reply to macwolf
Is that you are able to get therapy one day and heal from your experiences ... I did not read all your post but just scanning it is clear that there are some unresolved issues.  I hope you find the validation you are seeking. Peace
 
Replied By: mandyemily on Sep 20, 2013, 9:38AM
Kristine & Jason, I first off want to say how much I am sorry for your loss!!! I cannot even begin to imagine what you go through daily... But I want to thank you for sharing your story. I have 2 little girls aged 5 & 6 and I know now to be so careful when they begin to use the Internet and things. I think it was amazing of you to go on the show and as difficult as it was for you, sharing your story with the world. You both have probably saved millions of little girls lives by doing this and you should be very proud. God bless your beautiful angel in heaven, she was so beautiful!!! Her smile will never leave my memory. My thoughts & prayers will always be with your family...


Amanda ❤
 
Replied By: DrPhilBoard1 on Sep 20, 2013, 7:29AM - In reply to sondy466
The link is only for a 3 day Free Trial, not free software: Free Trial
 
Replied By: upsydasy on Sep 20, 2013, 6:57AM - In reply to kitty925
I read your message yesterday and woke up this morning with it still on my mind.  How could you justify belittling a 17 year old girl with dangerous and distructive self-esteem issues.  Your approach is exactly what caused her to feel the way she does about herself in the first place.  Constantly reminding a child of their failures can cause irreparable scarring to their psyche.  If you feel the need to vent so badly why don’t you pick on someone your own size such as her parents who also failed to so see and encourage any of her redeeming qualities too?  If you think you're so perfect looking then why haven’t you posted a photo of yourself next to your nickname?  Missy has the most gorgeous blue eyes and I suspect that once she grows out of her awkward teen years which we all went through, she’ll be an absolute knockout.  Her mother seems to have a great sense of style and will be an excellent role model for her daughter, just as my mother was to me, when I stopped insisting on wearing spiked hair and way too much makeup, which was all the rage in the 80’s and early 90’s. Every time you critisize a child or call them names, you chip away at who they're really meant to be someday.  Shame on you for doing that.
 
Replied By: rocada50 on Sep 20, 2013, 6:55AM
To Jason and Kristine - I am SO SORRY for your entire family for the loss of your Nichole. Thank you for sharing and exposing this tragedy to the light of national television.  I'm certain you have brought awareness to hundreds of households that were otherwise clueless.
 
Replied By: sondy466 on Sep 20, 2013, 6:00AM
I went out to dadguard.com this morning, and went to find the free software,  and it is not there. Is there something I am missing?  please someone help me on this, I need to keep my grand daugher safe!!!
 
Replied By: moxiemoo7 on Sep 19, 2013, 10:25PM
I know I heard you say that everyone listening today would receive a free dadguard tool to use to protect our children. I have an 8 year old grand daughter who has more computer savy than I do. I wanted to send the free dadguard link to my daughter and son-in-law but find out that it costs $ 99.99 with only a three day free trial. C'mon Dr.Phil, most of us in today's economy cannot afford that. There has got to be a low-cost way for families to protect their children on the internet.
 
Replied By: macwolf on Sep 19, 2013, 10:09PM
I cannot believe that ANY mother could EVER feel "secure" about their 12 year old daughter having online "relationships" because she couldn't get pregnant, etc. via the Internet.  That's completely obsured!  I have a 24 year old son who still lives with us while completing his master's degree.  He's had access to the Internet and technology since he was 4.5 years old.  My husband and I botrh had extensive computer experience and education compared to most of our peers.  We NEVER used bribes in order to deter our son from overstepping his Internet priviledge boundries.  I made sure I remained up to date on all available soft and hardware protections as well as continued discussions regarding safegarding privacy as well as education about Internet predators.  I had a BOY who turned out to be 6'5" tall by the age of 15.  I say this because that puts him at a much lower risk than many others.  Even so, his Internet priviledges where increased, decreased, mirrored to my own account with his knowledge or completely denied until he could prove via his actions that he deserved our trust again ( in that area).  While struggling with this, we never allowed his mis steps on the Internet to over shadow anything else he may have done which made us very proud and always told him.  We believed that he could be punished for one or more infractions while still be praised for his many accomplishments.
I've only watched a portion of part 1 of 2 and cannot believe these people are still allowed to be parents!!
Our son still tells myself and husband "I love you" before going to sleep or leaves our house.  How many 25 year old young men are that secure in themselves to do that every single day, sometimes more than once, and in front of friends and/or girlfriends.  We've had our very rough years when I was seriously injured, things changed very quickly for our son who dealt with my disability by saying rude and hurtful things while his father wasn't around.  We still have some rough spots as it pertains to my permament disability and how it's changed our family dynamic.  However, I understand his resentment and don't take it to heart anylonger because I KNOW my son.  We were strict enough that, when he was in highschool, he wasn't allowed a cell phone of any kind unless he was willing to do certain work around our property, bring his grades up and/or find a job to assist in paying for it.  He did have a prepaid phone card and was usually with a classmate(s) who did have cell phones.  He wasn't happy about the inconvienence but it didn't "ruin his life" nor his "standing and/or popularity" with his peers.  Actually, many of his peers looked to him for assistance or counsel.  He also knew to inform his friends/peers that our home was always open anytime day or night if they needed a break from their homelife.  Although I was supportive of those who did take us up on that invitation, I didn't simply  take what I was told as gospel and the one condition to staying in our home until they felt strong or secure enough to go home and deal with their family's was that either they or I contact their parents ort guardians to let them know their child was safe.
Even though my husband and I both stressed the importance of standing up for himself and others and have been prouder than I can imagine any parent ever being for decisions and actions he's taken to exit himself and/or friends from situations he knew he shouldn't be connected to or actions such as "joining the masses" and bullying/teasing others.
In no way have we been perfect parents.  Looking back, there are many things we should have done differently.  However, our decision to monitor his actions on the Internet,  teach him the importance of not "oversharing" in areas where people he doesn't know can easily access such as these social network sites, I've NEVER regretted any single time when we either restricted or denied him access to the Internet as well as not simply supplying him with a cell phone let alone one which can send/receive photos/data via access to the Interenet.  I believe these things to be priviledges which are earned just as trust is given until proven untrustworthy and re-earning that trust {in that area}.  People treat cell phones, laptops, tablets, and various other forms of technology as neccessary items and expenses when it comes to their daily lives.  My son never suffered for not having a cell phone.  I'm sure that this girl could learn to live without Internet access or with "supervised access for school or emergencies" until she can be trusted not to mis use the priviledge.  I was VERY vigilant with my son even though his risk is almost nil compared to that young girl and all of the other's like her.  If I'd had a daughter, you can bet that she'd definately have to continually earn my trust via "spot inspections" of any communication device she has access to including knowing the regulations and monitoring done by the parents of friends she spends time with.
Even with our vigilence and education of our son as it pertains to predators either online or in person including safeguarding others who may be in danger, we nearly missed the advances made toward our son by a minister when he was 14.  My husband and I aren't believers in organized religion, though we DID allow our son to go to church with his friends' families.  The parents of an ex-GF of his ( current GF at the time of the incident ) invited him to church with them and he joined them on quite a few occassions.  Her parents had always felt that we simply allowed our son to run amok without rules or supervision, especially without an open line of communication.  We figure this was conveyed to the church's senior minister with whom they had a personal relationship outside of the church.  Having a son who is 6'4" tall at the age of 14 as well as being athletic, mentally and emotionally secure with who he is, his  being very intelligent as well as parents and grandparents with whom he's very close to and trusts, I never thought twice about allowing him to meet with thisolder minister.  Supposedly he was to be part of a group of other boys within his age range where thewy read certain books and discussed them as well as other academic topics.  Our son had allowed his grades to drop and we were struggling with ways to get him back on track.  His Grandmother even attempted to bribe him with a prepaid cell which she'd pay for as long as he kept his grades within an acceptable range.  Our son couldn't be bribed!  Anyhow, he came home from a session at which he was made to undress and take a shower as a form of punishment for something he did or said wrong.  He said that, originally, the minister expected him to undress in front of him, didn't give him a towel and expected him to come out of the shower at which time the minister would then give him a towel and return his clothes.  Our son was smart by "dealing" with the minister by agreeing to take the shower but only if he was provided with towels, kept his clothes in the bathroom and be able to undress, dry off and redress in the bathroom by himself with the door locked. He didn't want to put the minister in a position where he felt completely rejected and possibly cornered so he made a judgement call.  As soon as he told me everything, I contacted our local police and reported the minister's actions.  Since he never actually touched our son nor watched him undress, denied him his clothing, etc., no charges could be brought against this man.  Our son's report DID alert the lkocal police chief to a possible danger to his own son who was supposedly in the same group with the same minister.  Also, a few years afterwards, the minister DID touch a young boy inappropriately and my son's report helped the other boy's case so it wasn't simply "he said, he said" and showed previous and similar actions.
In addition, I've been molested AND raped!  I never felt I could trust my parents with the earlier molestations due to the man involved along with family dynamics.  Even though my father and all of my parent's friends were also police officers as well as the fact that my father was known state wide for his accomplishments and either the trainer or boss of all the other police officers we socialized with, when I was raped, my parents strongly advised me against a medical exam and reporting the rape.  In addition, he had other police officers inform me, in extreme detail, the questons which may be asked by a defense attorney regarding my clothing, make up, and so much more too graphic to describe.
The fact that the girl on your show's parents also advised her against either a medical exam or reportng the rape definately touched home with me.  I could feel the girl's loneliness.  As with mine, her parents didn't want to deal with gtheir daughter being known as a rape victim because they didn't want to look bad in the public eye.  The "perfect happy family" picture they tried so hard to project was so much more important than their daughter's medical and mental health.  Putting it on their 17 year old daughter to be able to talk to them about the rape as if they were talking about someone or something else, making it her fault that she hasn't felt comfortable expressing herself, her feelings or anything else about or after the rape simply because she doesn't initiate the conversation or are comfortable when they bring it up out of the blue is very sickening.  That girl needs a safe evironment where she can express herself without judgement.  She needs to take her "power" back by reporting the rape even if the police can't prosecute.  They can explain to her that, even though they may not be able to prosecute him for what he did to her, details from her experience could help to prosecute him if he does it again.  In this way, her case is much like my son's.  The main difference being that my son didn't have to experience that degredation and, whether or not the police can punish her attacker for what she endured, she may help them to get a conviction.  Also, my son had parents who didn't care how people looked or talked about them or their son and who acted immediately upon hearing about it.  Because of that, he carries no shame with him.  Something I can almost guarentee that girl carries with her and is shaping the way she interacts with boys/men.  I've carried that shame for the majority of my life and it certainly changed the way I looked at myself, how I valued myself as a person, a woman and sexually for many years which made me a target for additional molestation as well as additional rapes.
She needs help NOW!!!!!  She needs to heal from this so she doesn't continue to "put herself out there" and put herself at higher risk for further molestations/rapes as I did.  I was able to pull myself out of it, met a good man with whom I felt equally in charge when it came to our sex life, felt strong and secure enough with to share many of my past experiences and still maintain a healthy sex life.  I was very lucky!!!   For a time, it would have been so very easy to be pulled into that vortex of humiliation, pain and betrayal and simply let myself continue to be abused.   I feel that girl is in that same dark place where she could lose herself to the degredation.  Her parents also need counseling if they truely believe that she should be able to "get over it already" and talk to them about it after they betrayed her and continue to betray her. 
Sorry for such a long post but I feel very strongly on this subject and the responsibility of parents when this happens to their child.
Still scarred for life,
Mac
 
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