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2013 Shows

 
(Original Air Date: 05/14/13) Thirty-five-year-old Tonya says from ages 5 to 15, her adoptive father, Bruce, molested her -- and that despite her cries for help, her mother, Kathy, did nothing to stop it. Kathy admits that she believed her daughter’s claims but was too afraid to take action. Why did she allow Bruce to live in the same house as her daughter -- even after he allegedly admitted to the abuse? Tonya says she was not only betrayed by her mother but also her half-sister, Sarah, Bruce’s biological daughter. Tonya claims that Sarah continued to support her father after he pleaded guilty to sexual acts on or in the presence of a child under 16 in a lewd, lascivious or indecent manner. Tonya faces Kathy and Sarah on Dr. Phil’s stage. Can she find forgiveness and finally heal the wounds of her painful past? Plus, hear from Bruce, who served one year in prison and 10 years of probation and is now a registered sex offender. Does he have any remorse? This program contains strong sexual content. Viewer discretion advised.

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: imamosaic on May 15, 2013, 11:09AM
I heard you Tonya, what a nightmare that was for that beautiful little girl to endure all alone.  No father figure to help her when things go bump in the night.  No mother figure to tell her things are going to be alright.  Your sister was five years younger, she was so damaged from those parents and trying to make sense of chaos that when she was old enough, she went right into denial like her mother taught her.

Your anger, Tonya, is understandable and for a while served you well.  That anger helped you to" tell"  and keep telling, long after lesser souls would have given up.  You were your own Knight in shining armor that came to your rescue.  In a family so dysfunctional you were the only one who could get the job done.  You did well.

Your mother and sister told you on the show who they are.  You want them to be someone they are not.  Your mother can hear your pleas over and over crying for help and ignore you because SHE had no place she could think of to go.  You were served up like Christmas dinner to save HER.  She can stand being in the same bed while that beautiful little girl is being molested because SHE had no place to go.  You want her to be someone who is sorry and in pain but she consoles herself with "What else could I do".  And she never sees you, Tonya.

Your sister is your mother incarnate. She can't see you because SHE has a peachy relationship with her daddy.  She, herself, is daddy's little girl.  She refuses to see any further than her nose.  She will be daddy's little girl if he killed you.  Nope, there are no problems in her world.

  Bruce can't see you either.  He can only see himself.  He is so sick it's scary and he is out there walking around now! Yikes! 

 It's a perfect storm for you to try and grow up in.  You wanted to be healthy?  How could you be in this family?  You had to grow up so you could save yourself from them!  They have no idea why you are crying and making such a fuss, they can see no further than themselves.

The best revenge would be for you to make a good life and let this loser bunch float off in the breeze like dust in the wind.  You don't have to be angry at them, like they said, they did what they could, nothing.

 The worst possible outcome would be for you to look to them for something they don't have, empathy and responsibility. You are looking for love in all the wrong places.  YOU have to love you.  I can so understand why you missed that lesson in life with Bruce as your guide.

Good luck with your therapy and education.  Love yourself enough to take very good care of yourself.  You're worth it, and always were.

Mosaic
 
Replied By: tqpat99 on May 15, 2013, 11:02AM
After watching this show, I too was brought to many emotions and tears. It was deja vu for me.

I was molested by my uncle who lived a few doors down from us during my childhood. I told my mother and was brushed off with '"oh that's just the way Uncle Bob is...he does it to everyone". I suffered in silence for many years. After  a major depression episode and going through a divorce and on the advice of my counsellor, I confronted my parents about it again, and was told by my dad  that I was merely blaming uncle Bob for my life being a mess. 

I am now in my mid 40s, gone through 3 divorces, lots of trauma, abuse and have been diagnosed with a personality disorder, attempted suicide, several hospitalizations for ongoing depression, recurring nightmares....the list goes on. But one thing I have learned is to put my faith and trust in God.  I believe in Karma, these type of monsters will be punished. 

Unfortunately,  in my opinion, mothers turning a blind eye seems to happen more often than we think. This same uncle Bob has access to his grandaugters. I have warned my cousin's wife on more than one occassion and yet her daughters continue to have sleepovers with grandpa!!!!  I am so angered by this my blood boils everytime I think about it. 

Tonya, if this is any consolation to you, please know that you are not alone.  I can empathasize with your emotions.
 
Replied By: upsydasy on May 15, 2013, 10:55AM - In reply to julajean616
It was very kind of you to share the poem that you wrote.  Thank you and I'm certain that Tonya apreciates it too. :o)
 
Replied By: veronica2000 on May 15, 2013, 9:57AM - In reply to catfan
the poem by Maya Angelou. I forgot how powerful it is!



I hope Tonya reads all these comments.
 
Replied By: veronica2000 on May 15, 2013, 9:48AM - In reply to simbasue
I agree with you completely. Dr. Phil blew it.  This was the first show that made me upset enough to sign up for these discussion boards.


Let's hope Tanya reads these comments. There's more understanding on here than there was on the show. 
 
Replied By: jessmarii on May 15, 2013, 9:18AM
My bio-dad did the same thing to me from 8-10 yrs old.  I told my teacher at school, my mom told  me to telll the cops that i lied and made it up bc my brother and sister needed a dad, and that if i lied she would buy me a pair of rollerblades. So then i had to go to counseling and lie about why i lied?! This story brought up a lot of old memories.
 
Replied By: simbasue on May 15, 2013, 9:04AM - In reply to womansvoice
Dr. Phil, I have been a fan since the very beginning of your show.  This is the first time, that I've ever disagreed with you so intently that I felt compelled to write.

It's understandable that for the sake of the 47 minute program, that you kind of had to jump forward. What I think you missed, though, is her need to have you validate her opinions of her mother's actions, and those of her sister.  I've seen you be very hard against mothers of molested daughters before, and this mother deserved to understand that it was her responsibility.  What they both took from the conversation, was that, bottom line, Tanya had to forgive them- And that, although her attitude was understandable, it was wrong.  So once more, she is humiliated.  I think it was wrong to let that pedophile go on and on at her expense, once it became obvious he wasn't going to sincerely apologize.You gave him an opportunity to take potshots at her instead.

I believe that at the very least, her sister should have been told in no uncertain terms that"

1:  Your father is a pedophile, not suffering from "an addiction" that he is cured from.

2.  Your sister saved your childhood, because without her being the target of his pedophilia, she probably would have been.

I hope you make it right for Tanya, because once again, she was failed by someone she trusted.

 
Replied By: julajean616 on May 15, 2013, 8:29AM
This morning as I thought about the show I wrote this poem.  I am a writer some good some bad. But today I just wrote without changing a word.


Under the coats in the back of the closet I sleep.


My bed freshly made so he won't know I am here.


My Mother knows , she says he rapes her every night.


Why am I any better than her, isn't that right?


She screams and yells for me to get out of her house.


I try to be careful and quiet like a little mouse.


I've only started high school there is no place to go.


I have so much more I need to know.


The pain has stayed with me for almost 50 years.


So many nights I could not stop the pain and the tears.


Today I feel others pain when I read or hear their stories.


How can it still be going on after almost half of a century?


How do these monsters still secretly steal the souls


and cut so deeply that no on heals?


Be strong young women, old women


They will be punished in time in a place


When they see the devil's face.
 
Replied By: say_it_now on May 15, 2013, 7:59AM - In reply to chelsnb123
I feel Dr.Phil dropped the ball so many times in this episode, I was disgusted beyond belief. I have been with my husband since 1993 and I have 3 kids with him, he is my soulmate, however, if any of my kids ever come to me and tell me that their dad ever violated them in any way, God would be the only force that could or would stop me from killing, yes killing him. If my kids don't have me to protect them, then I they are lost forever. 



Dr.Phil allowed that smug sister to continue to comment and the monster was even worst. I don't understand why he allowed that monster to comment as much as he did. He said nothing to the other monster (her mother), she did what she knew how...really? That's all she knew how to do? Lock the door, really? The whole family are monster (except the other kids). I just pray that the smug sister never have to go through this with her child...smh. Also, for the sister to continue to say I had a great and/or perfect childhood was appalling! I can see why she hate the sister. The sister seem to blame the victim for her perfect life to come to an end...no, it was your mother fault!!!! If she had been a mother and not so selfish maybe your family would've been a real family not a tragedy.
 
Replied By: msdelicious on May 15, 2013, 7:56AM
SO SO SO SO SAD A LITTLE GIRL IS BEING ABUSED RIGHT NOW...NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND THE HURT.....BEEN CRYING ALL MORNING ....NEVER CRIED THIS HARD IN MY LIFE...I MISS MY GRANDMOTHER SHE NEVER HURT ME ...I WISH ONE DAY I CAN FORGET...WOW ALL OUR MOTHERS SAY THE SAME THING......WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY DID SHE STAY...I HAVE NO HATE JUST CONFUSION WHYYYY....DR. PHIL AND THEY HAD THE NERVE TO TAKE MY BABY FROM ME WHEN I WAS STRUNG OUT BUT SHE NEVER OFFERED TO GIVE HIM BACK ME ....CRYING
 
Showing 161-170 of total 411 Comments