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2013 Shows

(Original Air Date: 05/14/13) Thirty-five-year-old Tonya says from ages 5 to 15, her adoptive father, Bruce, molested her -- and that despite her cries for help, her mother, Kathy, did nothing to stop it. Kathy admits that she believed her daughter’s claims but was too afraid to take action. Why did she allow Bruce to live in the same house as her daughter -- even after he allegedly admitted to the abuse? Tonya says she was not only betrayed by her mother but also her half-sister, Sarah, Bruce’s biological daughter. Tonya claims that Sarah continued to support her father after he pleaded guilty to sexual acts on or in the presence of a child under 16 in a lewd, lascivious or indecent manner. Tonya faces Kathy and Sarah on Dr. Phil’s stage. Can she find forgiveness and finally heal the wounds of her painful past? Plus, hear from Bruce, who served one year in prison and 10 years of probation and is now a registered sex offender. Does he have any remorse? This program contains strong sexual content. Viewer discretion advised.

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: rlscww on May 15, 2013, 1:20PM
This show broke my heart. I cannot even pretend to understand how Tonya feels. I was not impressed with how Dr. Phil handled the show but there may be behind the scenes circumstances I am not aware of. One think Tonya said stuck with me, "it was because I was half black, and he thought that's all black girls were good for." Whether this is the reason Bruce did those horrific things to her, what is important is that she thinks it is.This is why my fellow humans, it is so important not undervalue people because they are wrapped in a different color skin. That gives people like Bruce permission to treat them like animals. People get so wrapped up in their superiority complex they never take a moment to 'SEE' the other person as a person. My husband is white and some of our acquaintances could have five minutes conversation with my husband and not even acknowledge me standing by his side until my husband points out the obvious. Dr. Phil, I was disappointed with the show but I agree that Tonya should forgive. Forgiveness will free her. I will be praying all week for healing  for Tonya. I want all the prayer warriors out there to join me. God is stronger than the Devil!
Replied By: butterflyred on May 15, 2013, 12:47PM
I was so disturbed watching how Dr.Phil allowed Tonya to sit there alone. He seemed over his head and he was so respectful of Bruce. This man had forced sexual relations with a child for 10 years. He treated her like a prostitute. Her mother was his accomplice in this crime. She should have been charged.

Why have all these people let Tonya down, even D.Phil. Bruce is also a convicted predator, and they should have shown his picture. He has confessed to the crimes.

We also have to let go of the myth that mother's always protect their children. Let Go of the myth that all mothers protect their children.Tonya's mother pimped her daughter out for a lifestyle. We need to create laws that also charge a parent who allows the sexual abuse to occur and continue. 

And we need to create healing zones for people who have been so exploited. Tonya deserves joy and safety and support. She will get it once she leaves her disturbed family in the past and finds new people who can teach her that life can be wonderful and she has a right to experience that.    

How can we contact Tonya? I would like to reach out to her and let her know that she can heal. Also, if people have been sexually abused, check the statute of limitations in your state and see if you can still report it. Protect others because unfortunately sometimes their parents don’t give a damn.
Replied By: panda4good on May 15, 2013, 11:28AM
I just watched turning a blind eye.I just wanted to come and say to tanya your an amazing person. you have a heart of gold it takes a lot to come as far as you have come. your story touched my heart .it rocks me to the core to hear your story and that nothing was done! something is wrong with society!

you have shared your story and i hope it reaches a billion people to stop this tragic events,maybe with your story others will step foward .i hope dr. phil does a recap of you after you go to collage id love to see your smile after you have made a huge step foward your one beautiful amazing woman.keep it up it will get better . i too think the man that did this should fry he should never be let lose or any of the pedophiles its moraly rong ! there should be justice for you !
Replied By: imamosaic on May 15, 2013, 11:23AM
Why oh why can't men control themselves!??

The Military is out of control. The officers they have to report the abuse to are the abusers!  Or they want to dismiss the problem, knowing the men can't be expected to control themselves.

The guy in Ohio who is stealing young woman holding them captive for 10 years!  He stole his daughter's girl friend!

Step fathers, Bruce!  And far too many more!

In India they can't control themselves and they killed that girl on the bus.  They say it is all too common there for men to rape woman on the street.

In Japan yesterday there was a item about how "comfort woman" were necessary during WWII.  They stole those woman and enslaved them!  And some jerk is trying to tell us it was necessary.?

And the list goes on and on. Men need to rise up and say this is unacceptable and hold those men who can't control themselves accountable.  This isn't just a woman's issue!!!

Replied By: imamosaic on May 15, 2013, 11:09AM
I heard you Tonya, what a nightmare that was for that beautiful little girl to endure all alone.  No father figure to help her when things go bump in the night.  No mother figure to tell her things are going to be alright.  Your sister was five years younger, she was so damaged from those parents and trying to make sense of chaos that when she was old enough, she went right into denial like her mother taught her.

Your anger, Tonya, is understandable and for a while served you well.  That anger helped you to" tell"  and keep telling, long after lesser souls would have given up.  You were your own Knight in shining armor that came to your rescue.  In a family so dysfunctional you were the only one who could get the job done.  You did well.

Your mother and sister told you on the show who they are.  You want them to be someone they are not.  Your mother can hear your pleas over and over crying for help and ignore you because SHE had no place she could think of to go.  You were served up like Christmas dinner to save HER.  She can stand being in the same bed while that beautiful little girl is being molested because SHE had no place to go.  You want her to be someone who is sorry and in pain but she consoles herself with "What else could I do".  And she never sees you, Tonya.

Your sister is your mother incarnate. She can't see you because SHE has a peachy relationship with her daddy.  She, herself, is daddy's little girl.  She refuses to see any further than her nose.  She will be daddy's little girl if he killed you.  Nope, there are no problems in her world.

  Bruce can't see you either.  He can only see himself.  He is so sick it's scary and he is out there walking around now! Yikes! 

 It's a perfect storm for you to try and grow up in.  You wanted to be healthy?  How could you be in this family?  You had to grow up so you could save yourself from them!  They have no idea why you are crying and making such a fuss, they can see no further than themselves.

The best revenge would be for you to make a good life and let this loser bunch float off in the breeze like dust in the wind.  You don't have to be angry at them, like they said, they did what they could, nothing.

 The worst possible outcome would be for you to look to them for something they don't have, empathy and responsibility. You are looking for love in all the wrong places.  YOU have to love you.  I can so understand why you missed that lesson in life with Bruce as your guide.

Good luck with your therapy and education.  Love yourself enough to take very good care of yourself.  You're worth it, and always were.

Replied By: tqpat99 on May 15, 2013, 11:02AM
After watching this show, I too was brought to many emotions and tears. It was deja vu for me.

I was molested by my uncle who lived a few doors down from us during my childhood. I told my mother and was brushed off with '"oh that's just the way Uncle Bob is...he does it to everyone". I suffered in silence for many years. After  a major depression episode and going through a divorce and on the advice of my counsellor, I confronted my parents about it again, and was told by my dad  that I was merely blaming uncle Bob for my life being a mess. 

I am now in my mid 40s, gone through 3 divorces, lots of trauma, abuse and have been diagnosed with a personality disorder, attempted suicide, several hospitalizations for ongoing depression, recurring nightmares....the list goes on. But one thing I have learned is to put my faith and trust in God.  I believe in Karma, these type of monsters will be punished. 

Unfortunately,  in my opinion, mothers turning a blind eye seems to happen more often than we think. This same uncle Bob has access to his grandaugters. I have warned my cousin's wife on more than one occassion and yet her daughters continue to have sleepovers with grandpa!!!!  I am so angered by this my blood boils everytime I think about it. 

Tonya, if this is any consolation to you, please know that you are not alone.  I can empathasize with your emotions.
Replied By: upsydasy on May 15, 2013, 10:55AM - In reply to julajean616
It was very kind of you to share the poem that you wrote.  Thank you and I'm certain that Tonya apreciates it too. :o)
Replied By: veronica2000 on May 15, 2013, 9:57AM - In reply to catfan
the poem by Maya Angelou. I forgot how powerful it is!

I hope Tonya reads all these comments.
Replied By: veronica2000 on May 15, 2013, 9:48AM - In reply to simbasue
I agree with you completely. Dr. Phil blew it.  This was the first show that made me upset enough to sign up for these discussion boards.

Let's hope Tanya reads these comments. There's more understanding on here than there was on the show. 
Replied By: jessmarii on May 15, 2013, 9:18AM
My bio-dad did the same thing to me from 8-10 yrs old.  I told my teacher at school, my mom told  me to telll the cops that i lied and made it up bc my brother and sister needed a dad, and that if i lied she would buy me a pair of rollerblades. So then i had to go to counseling and lie about why i lied?! This story brought up a lot of old memories.
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