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2013 Shows

 
(Original air date 04/24/13) Karrieann says her 14-year-old daughter has been obsessed with having a baby since she was in the sixth grade and recently started a rumor that she was pregnant -- a lie that created so much controversy, she had to change schools. The teen admits that she’s actively trying to get pregnant and has already been with 10 partners. She says she believes that at 14, she’s mature enough to make her own choices and thinks her life would be better if she had a baby. What does Dr. Phil think is really behind the teen's desire to get pregnant? And, can he enlighten her to the reality of young motherhood? Then, Lauren, 36, says she’s afraid her 18-year-old daughter, Kayla, will follow in her footsteps and become a teen mom. Does she have reason for concern? If you’re the parent of a teen, you can’t afford to miss this eye-opening Dr. Phil.

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: rileyapril on Sep 7, 2013, 9:40AM
Dr. Phil, Thank you so much for putting into words the answer to the question many have asked me over the years.  "Why would you try to get pregnant at 15?" 

I could never answer the question before. Your comments about sexuality as currency was right on. At 15, it had been many years since my mother had given me love and affection. I longed for and still hurt over accepting that my mother has no love for me. I was a model child until about age 11, when suddenly I was made out to be an out of control teen.

I didn't have money. I was too young to work and support myself. But I did have power, my sexuality was my currency,  I realized at 15, it was possible to create life through my body. I could create the love between mother and child. I announced it to my divorced parents as the girl in this show did. And when they didn't know how to "provide me with a better alternative" as Dr. Phil suggested, they chose to threaten me. They said, "If you get pregnant, you will not live in this house."  I was so relieved, becuase living in that house was the last thing I wanted to do.

When I couldn't get pregnant in the first couple months of trying, I faked a pregnancy by using carrying a pregnant woman's urine in a vitamin bottle  into a pregnancy crisis center in order to leave with a letter stating "Pregnant"  with my name on it. I presented the letter to my mother, and let her know, I will be moving out now since I am pregnant. She went to work one day shortly after that, and I emptied my room and moved in with my boyfriend and roomates.

Upon realizing I had left, my parents threatened me again. This time it was, "you better get your ass and all of your belongings moved back to your mother's house tonight."  I refused.

They chose then to completely cut me out of the family and let me go.

Three months later I was pregnant at 16.

  I sent my family a link to the recorded show and asked them to watch it.   My mother let me know she saw it and that she loves her grandchildren so its all ok now. And basically, she didn't have time to watch the show. It was ok. I should just let it go.

 The reason I sent her the link was because I wanted her to hear what Dr. Phil had to say. I wanted her to hear where she had a part in my wanting a child. I wanted her to hear that this wasn't a me problem but a family problem.  But, still, she doesn't have an interest in my feelings. No time for my feelings.

 Realizing she is never going to be a mother to me in that sense has been a difficult truth. At 39 with two adult children who are now in college, I feel proud of how I handled the long train of issues that followed my choice to impart my life on the path of mother at 17.  I'm thankful to the help both my parents have given me along the way in helping me to get to where I am now.  However, I'm still bothered that at 15 I was so desperate to change my life and family that I made choices that forever impacted me and my children.
 
Replied By: loyalalways on Aug 6, 2013, 5:42PM - In reply to ttleeann
Please try to find a doctor who will help you and your mother heal yourselves. You can't get anything to work until you heal yourselves first. Then you can find someone to help you heal your relationship. Keep writing to Dr. Phil. He has helped a lot of people. Keep trying if you don't hear from him. You and your mother both deserve healing for yourselves and your relationship. I hope that if you can't get help from Dr. Phil or if you don't want to be on TV that you continue to look for a doctor who WILL help you. They are out there. Please don't give up. You won't regret it.
 
Replied By: loyalalways on Aug 6, 2013, 5:36PM - In reply to diamonddiva
I respectfully disagree with you. Anyone who is a toxic person is obviously suffering somehow, usually from something that happened in their childhood. If they can find someone like Dr. Phil who can help them to heal themselves, they can also find a way to heal a relationship with their children. Dr. Phil does it all the time on his show. If these toxic people don't want to try, then you are right. They don't deserve a chance with their child. But, there's always a chance that they can get the help they need. I wouild say, from watching the Dr. Phil show, that most people want that help and will take it. I'm sure that Dr. Phil isn't he only good doctor out there. Some people just need someone to understand them and try to help heal them. Nobody was born bad.
 
Replied By: bemburys on Aug 6, 2013, 8:06AM
I can truily ID with what the teen is talking about. i myself went out  and allow pregnancy to become part of my life. not really siting down planning for it to happen, but not doing anything to stop it. The difference is she has someone to talk to, i didn't everyone in my house was on drugs or drinking, maybe even both. I was rape daily, didn't know what love was, so went looking for it in the wrong places, meaning hell is right here on earth if you don't know where you're going. Having a child young in your teens, doesn't  mean you're going to get the love that you seek, but some time it will make you feel like you should just die. I was bless with four wonderful children, a pain in the butt, but if i had to do it over the thing i would change would be how i went about it. Today a Minister who's concern is for our young people, here and across the nation.  Parents stop finding time for everything but your children, and know money does not buy love or give. Hug your children sometime talk all the time and most of all, always listen hear whats not being said. God Bless you all.
                 
                Dr. Phil, 
signing in is like applying for welfair, lol.
                Thanks 
 
Replied By: ttleeann on Aug 6, 2013, 3:50AM
I always respect Dr. Phill's opinion but I feel like sometimes it's just a little to late to fix mother/daughter bond. Me and my mother started trying to repair our relationship when I was 16 and still to this day most of our reunions end in the police getting called.
 
Replied By: suzannesrs on Aug 6, 2013, 12:43AM
I am so very sick of women giving excuses for not taking care of their child because they got pregnate when a teenager. I too had a baby at 17 while still in high school. I finished my schooling through correspondence courses- and yes my life was difficult. But I chose to have that baby, the day he was born I made a committment to him I would do all I could to care for him. He recently thanked me for not putting him up for adoption.

I started college the same year my oldest child did and got a teaching degree. While teaching I learned kids start sexual contact while in middle school. Of couse not all do, but many do.Pretending this is not going on is niave.  Birth control accompanied by education about their use and sexually transmitted infections should be given, without cost,  to all kids who ask without condemnation.

To the girls reading this:

When you choose to become a parent and you do not have the ablity  love and care for them, find an adoptive home that can.  Most adoptions today are open so the child will know you. Do not let your family guilt you into keeping a child you can't care for. They are using that to punish you, not thinking of what is best for either you or the child.

Children are not pets, nor are they there to fix your life.  They are a 24 hours a day committment until they are through with their education. Then you still worry about them.

PS. I had 4 children, they all have a college education, are all reasonably healthy happy adults who all have careers that contribute to the welfare of our society. This is not because we were rich, it is because they were wanted and loved and they knew it.



 
Replied By: loyalalways on Aug 5, 2013, 8:06PM - In reply to amberdiaz
I'm SO sorry about your two children drowning. Nobody should have to go through that. My heart and prayers go out to you!!


These girls are definitely looking for love in the wrong places. The one thing that botherd me was that Kayley was always smirking, as though she was enjoying throwing her mother under the bus. Her mother made a lot of mistakes, but she's trying to make up for it now. Kayley seems to have her mind made up that it will never work I feel bad for everyone today, so hopefully Dr. Phil can get them the help they need to become a close family again.
 
Replied By: mommatoad on Aug 5, 2013, 7:29PM - In reply to carsan
I also appreciated the respectful appoach Dr. Phil delivered to this young woman. When he mentoned to the mother how he knew what moved her daughter towards this life altering choice, I held my breath - it was so vital that he gave this girl validation for wanting a child as her solution was sane to her, insane to the rest of us, but to this young woman it was the best solution. Just lending this young woman a listening ear, one not filled with disciplinary actions, condemnations and ridicule was akin to placing ice one a fresh burned hand - it soothed, it allowed a place for healing to start. Sometimes, in fact often times, identifying common grounds - a place to agree upon - opens the door allowing communiction to begin. It might not be easy to find at first, but with persistance one can find a place to begin. I once had a special needs student who was non-verbal, determined to be autistic, with a mind of an infant, yet built like a Line Backer for the New England Saints. Because of his size and questionable behavior around the opposite sex, this 17-year-old was isolated from mainstream society. The institution housing this young man - he had been made a ward of the state after becomming physically agressive with his elderly parents - kept him in a small house on hospital grounds. He was not allowed to roam free, requiring not one but two large burly security guards who accomidated him where ever he went. For some reason the Department of Education felt compelled to have this young man spend a few hours each week in my classroom. I reluctently agreed. He did come with his own escorts. But I had several young women in my class and it wondered if I could assure their safety. This was tested one day when word reached our campus that the young man had violently attacked his body guards leaving both knocked out cold in the young man's room. Our school, which was basically next to the institution, was suddenlyplaced on lock down. I still smile when I recall what happened next - he was was found walking around campus holding a can of pop given to him by one of our campus security. He'd walked up to the woman, pointed to her cooler which led to the exchange... all he had wanted was a cold drink which he'd been denied. They sipped one together while she commented about school life and all the matters relavent to a kid his age.
She had no idea he was the young man being searched for, clueless to all the history which tagged him. She saw the obvious; a young man who was thirsty, who just needed to hear a woman's voice and cool one to sip while the cares of the day faded by. Sometimes its all right there before us, we just need to look.
 
Replied By: tsigirl on Aug 5, 2013, 3:43PM - In reply to amberdiaz
My love goes out to you, I had my first at 15... when your mother abuses you and treats you like you are nothing, continues to abandon you (me) what else is there? I decided to be all of the things she would say. It has been a struggle, I would never take it back. I hope they can change, that little girl deserves to be loved and a child!!! I have a hard time with my 16 year old son because I didnt have someone to love or discipline me I moved out... hard times!!! my love to anyone that has had to go throught thses things. I dont support it at all btw and am not saying its right, they need to really fix this! but it is true girls use sex for love!
 
Replied By: tsigirl on Aug 5, 2013, 3:33PM
this show brings so many memories of my child hood (reminds me of my mom and I), I was a girl abused by my mother.. I got pregnent at 15 and had and kept my son. I moved out on my own at 17 and was emancipated... life was really hard! I hope that the mother can change so that the daughter can believe that she can have the love she needs to stop sleeping around and have a childhood!!! still to this day I have limited communication with my mother... I am now thankful that I am alive. I was a cutter, and very suicidal teen with no hope... I have two wonderful children and have grown into such a strong women due to the support systems I have now! I hope and pray they can change together!!!
 
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