Ive been there too!!!

This show, I swear it was like hearing another young girl going 10years back into what my life was like.  She def does not need to consider going back to him.  My ex spent 5 years in prison for what he did to me, Ive had no choice but to deal with him because we have a daughter, but he still is abusive to anyone he dates now, they never change and they all tend to find the lord while in prison and then are quick to forget when they walk out of the prison doors.  If I could give her any advice, keep a protective order make him understand you are done and move on with your life and the best time to cut ties and get on with your life is while he is away and you dont have that worry of him interfering...thats what I did and I then met my husband and he would never hurt me......hearing everything about her boyfriend its like they were talking about my ex even down to her feeling she was helping him cause of his family.....Please move on and dont let him near you

As I watched this show, I kept waiting for Dr. P to light in on the mother, or to say that the reason this young woman has hooked up with this abuser is because she didn't have a good relationship with her father.  No parents are perfect but I know from experience that it is not always the fault of the parents. Dr. P says the world is changing, and it certainly is, but I think some things have always been the way they are. My own daughter keeps getting with guys that fit the description of the abuser on the show. We have discussed with her, in the past, the fact that we felt she was trying to "fix" or "cure" these men. She has admitted to that. And now  she is back in a relationship with the father of her first child, considering getting back with him. He has not changed and she knows this. She has even made comments in the recent past, as to how she is never going to let a man mistreat her again, especially for her two little girls' sake. Yet she continues to follow the same pattern. When she was with the father of her first child, for three years, she would call me and tell me the things he was doing. We actually called the police from 147 miles away, because she said she was afraid to do so. Finally,  one day I had had enough, and I told her that she had to take part of the responsibility for being mistreated because she continued to stay with him. I told her to stop calling me and telling me these things because we couldn't help her unless she tried to help herself. That made her very angry. When they finally split up , he had three domestic abuse charges against him. Two times the neighbors called the police, and once we called them. I guess the one thing I can do, is buy the book and give it to her. On the other hand, she already knows that what she's doing is not the way to go.

OH NOT! I was married to a abuser I don't know he was...the moment he hit me the next day I went to a lawyer and I divorced him ,it took two long years for the divorce being granted ,but the next day he was out of my house and off from my life !  the divorce came later ,I don't believe in the excuse that we get attached to our abuser that  is a bunch of BALONEY! a man doesn't define me!

Amber, mother  should not be worry ,because the next time she will not end in a hospital she will end in the MORGUE! and you know what?  I don't gve a damn ,the moment  a man sayd those words you are th e only big woman I have in my life I will ran like crazy from him!  .she is a foolish ,this man abuse her emotionally and physically I was married to a moster like this and I divorce him very soon! I don't feels a iota about this women who only  a man ilke this looser defines her ,how sad a man define you ! this man is writing her that she is the guilty one she is the bad one ,she is the wrong one ,what else this woman needs to hear to get the conclusion that this man doesn't love her? it is outrageous I have two beautifl daughters and God help me if something like that happens,but I know it will not happen ..because they have a BRAIN something this girl is missing it!

My son Tyler was hit in the head with a baseball bat when he was 16 years old.  He was standing and watching a fight between my other son Patrick and someone else.  The person that hit him went to his car and came up from behind him and hit him ......he was left for dead and my son Patrick believed he was....instead...he now has a Traumatic Brain Injury...he is full time 24/7 care....his life has been totally and forever changed ...and so have all of ours...as a result of this senseless act of violence.  The really sad part....my son Patrick and the other friend that was with him....were later killed in an auto accident ....leaving no witnesses to the incident.....the one that hit my son is free....and will always be free.....and sadly....sent me a message after my son Patrick was killed to let me know that the bat was in the bottom of the Pearl River ......so senseless......

When you're not or have never been in, an abusive relationship, it's very easy to say "just leave him".  And it's reductive to just throw your hands up and say "I give up!" when they don't.  I've been in Amber's shoes, and it took sending the sonofabitch to jail for putting a gun to my temple, while holding me in a headlock and causing me to pass out, for me to get my bearings and start thinking clearly.  He had to be GONE for me to get away.  But even then, once he was out, I had to move 3000 miles away to really "just leave him".  I remember feeling like I was losing the only chance I'd ever have at having a family.  And that feeling stayed with me for a long time.  It makes no sense, I know, but nothing about staying in this kind of situation makes sense.  I now have a beautiful 13 year old daughter (not his!) and am in a very loving relationship.  If you'd asked me back then if my current status was possible, my answer would have been a very incredulous and vehement NO.

You don't have to have an abusive past to get tangled up in an abusive present, but I think you have to be somewhat susceptible to manipulation - and you have to have a very low opinion of yourself for it to take root.  These guys are charismatic and worm their way into your head to make you think you DESERVE what they do to you.  But I know that if I didn't already have zero self-esteem at the time, I'd have kicked him to the curb long before he ever threw the first punch.  He would never had had the opportunity to get into my head in the first place.

I noticed Amber's wound was on the right side of her head and yet in the letter from her boyfriend commented as he had her on the bed he held the bat in his right hand ....then the wound should have been on the left side of her head...just a thought.  !!

I was getting ready to send a comment when I read this comment and could not agree more. It seems the main purpose of every show lately is to publicize Dr. Phil's book and his son's publishing company. My husband and I both watch the show every day  and have gotten so disappointed with the promotion of the book on so many shows. You can counsel guests without constantly mentioning the book and publisher.

That girl's friend who would not have any more to do with her did the right thing because she refused to enable this girl's behavior that was endangering her life and the life of her child.  I think this is one of the reasons why the "light" went off for this girl.. when Dr. Phil read the email the friend had sent it really probably brought into focus what this girl was doing to herself and her child.  Kuddos to the friend who loved enough to let go..