I too signed up today just so I could make a comment and I am hoping that my comment/reply will end up where I had intended it to :) I  record Dr. Phil's shows everyday and admit that I have a number of them to watch. Yes, I am a bit backlogged because I don't watch them everyday and it just so happenend that I chose this one to watch. I was completely shocked and dismayed with this show to say the least.  I bear no disrespect here to what anyone has said previously. I did not get the feeling that the wife was being bullied.  I feel that she was being belittled and that is  what peeved me off.  She was told, and told, and told, how not to be a "victim" anymore.  She would get his new book, be it in hard cover, on IPAd, or an audio version with headphones to listen to in her bed at night so his message could be drummed into her brain.  Oh, and she and her son would get some assistance which I assume to be some form of counselling. I think that is great but this is what makes me want to vomit.  The lying dude also gets the same book and some counselling but has also been offered the assistance of,  gosh knows who, to write a "true resume" for himself.  Whoa .....  maybe she should have had that offered to her as well...now, maybe she did and I missed that part  and if so, correct me if I am wrong. Yep, she quit her job based on her misguided faith in her partner... and people may say shame on her.....I say shame on the liar. Why does it seem as though she is yet again getting the short end of the stick? Oh, and for the record, I totally know what this feels like.  I have had partners lie to me in many ways but I am different in the sense that I have never let anyone take care of my finances and never will. AMEN!

I never heard Dr. Phil reference the term 'Sociopath' towards the husband.  I don't know why he isn't classified as such.  He shows all the characteristics of one.  I understand he is a veteran and I am thankful he served our country.  However, there have been other guests on the show and Dr. Phil would classify them as a Sociopath for having done less than this man did towards his wife....confusing

How did they eat? How did they put gas in their car? Did I miss something

This show was thought provoking and relavant for me right up to the last words, "The power or giving."  Hmmm?

I wasn't in the room where your show was on, but when I heard Dr. Phil practically yelling at someone, I just had to go see what was happening.  I was shocked by Dr. Phil's behavior towards the wife on this show...and frankly yesterday's guests as well.  I hate to see Dr. Phil bully his guests.  I had always thought highly of him for treating even the craziest of guests with respect.  I hope he was just having a few off days.  I felt so strongly about this that I joined this website to post this.

THIS MAN NEEDS HELP AND DR PHIL DID THE RIGHT THING AND THERE IS LOVE THERE AND A CHILD

The man was in the military for 20 years or more.  They do get a pension !!!!

I saw so much of myself in the wife. I am sort of lucky. My boyfriend of 8 years dropped me suddenly. Over the phone, almost no explanation. But done.

Much history. I had tried three times in the past to break up and every time I took him back. I thought we were heading towards marriage and waiting for our oldest to be fully out of the nest before getting married. I never had a ring though. Now I get so much.

First, the alcohol - he drank all the time, he also smoked dope - who knows how frequently. See - he kept me blocked from a lot of his life. But when I was ready to go - when I had had enough: the charm came on, the reminders about love, marriage, etc, the "please come back."

There are stories that didn't bother me but should have: his stories about deciding that he was going to try every illicit drug out there and smoked crack cocaine and alluded to a bad story about meth. I discovered in December that he still had a prescription for xanax. I just started thinking. Even if he's only doing alcohol, dope and xanax - isn't that enough? Have a few beers, smoke some dope and take a xanax and yeah, I wouldn't care about anything either.

Here's the thing: we are both widowed, and suddenly. I just attributed every fault in the relationship to his grieving process, even though when the relationship got serious...I worked hard to get well. I put up with so much crap, I had gotten lulled into thinking it was OK.

A few weeks ago, I ordered Life Codes through the Book Nook. And at first I thought - the ex-boyfriend is not a villian but the more I work through what was wrong with him, the more I see how much WAS wrong with him and how much I allowed myself to become a victim.

How this episode helped me: I was the same cheerleader for the boyfriend that this lady was for her husband. He could do no wrong - I supported him unconditionally. And he never cared about me, in the end. I think he started out caring - but he couldn't let go of the alcohol and drugs. I think at times he wanted to care - but I never every got the alcohol and drug problem and I don't know...if I would have believed it if I heard it. That's the hard part - that's how lulled I was. That's why I'm lucky that even though it's painful, even though I've had to go back on my (minor) antidepressant and some (minor) anti-anxiety drugs (not xanax, thank you) - the value of getting myself back: well - priceless.

The other thing that helped me in this episode is when Dr. Phil said: do you need time to keep feeling sorry for yourself? I don't think he meant that meanly at all - but he's right - the end process is, you let it go.. You stop being the victim. I spent two weeks not understanding at all what happened. Then, over a weekend where I realized, thank God for my circle of friends, that it WAS over, I started thinking, and writing and understanding. I wrote him a letter and was briefly in touch with him to understand that he wasn't getting off the alcohol or drugs. And he wanted nothing more to do with me. Thank goodness for that! He also said he was seeing someone else and I suspect...he has been seeing her for a long time.

Now I am putting day after day then soon weeks then months putting space behind this failed relationship. I understand how I was victimized, and I'm learning how to recover. All with the help of this book.

Dr. Phil is a great man. I always say it and it's always true. Thank you for this book.

I'm extremely happy that Dr. Phil is going to give both parties help!!!  That was very generious of him.  Dr. Phil totally caught me off guard... I figured he was going to preach to the man about his lying.   Whoa, was I ever wrong.   He handled the problem very well.. I can see now WHERE HE IS TODAY!!  A very intelligient man, and has a heart deeper than the state of Texas.  I'm glad that he acknowledge the husband being in the armed forces... and extended help to him.  Alot of our guys that go over to fight for our freedom, some make it back and some don't which is very sad to me.  Some guys are so distraught of what they have seen over seas and can't adjust to civilian life when they return.   God Love Dr. Phil.

It may be very easy for you to dismiss - what truly is the bottom line here - that this woman in the vulnerable state she was obsviously in... was taken advantage of. One lie is a terrible thing. A 'truck-load' lies is something that is just about impossible to work with. We are all vulnerable to unreasonable lies and such. There is no fortification against it... even when we are hardened, in disbelief, or just plain lucky in the fact that we manage to escape someone fortified with a lying constitution.

Yes, the wife was weak. I am thankful that this guy did not feel so threatened to physically harm them (the wife and child) - after all, it is highly speculative that he could have gone so far as to  create those fires. The world is full of troubled individuals...and no where near the treatment facilities or access for it!