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2013 Shows

(Original Air Date: 02/21/13) Amy admits she’s a “psycho, over-protective mom” of five children, ages 4 to 20, and worries that her behavior could be crippling her kids’ development. She admits to flossing her 20-year-old daughter's teeth, trimming her 15-year-old's toe nails and doing her children's homework for them. Amy says she’s just trying to prevent her kids from being hurt or disappointed -- but is she really setting them up for failure? Amy’s 20-year-old pregnant daughter, Katelynn, says her mother’s overprotectiveness is out of control -- claiming that Amy has even threatened to gain custody of her unborn baby, to ensure the child is taken care of properly. And, Amy’s son, Robert, 15, says he’s suffering in school because his mom won’t let him do his own homework -- and he doesn’t even know what he’s good at, because she does everything for him. What's behind Amy’s “helicopter mom” habits? Find out what Dr. Phil uncovers from Amy’s past that may be contributing to her parenting style. Can she learn to take a step back and allow her kids to become independent?

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: strine on Nov 20, 2013, 11:14PM
Living with your mother forever is not a life! She is repeating the lack of a life (that she complains about having) for her kids. Before I left home my mother would guilt trip me like that lady does to her kids, the tears, the acting like a martyr, the scaring with stories about rapists and murderers, the whining that "she did everything for me and I was deserting her".  She would do my homework too and never taught us to look after ourselves. She was a single mother too and carried on about it too- get out and have a life lady, you're still alive and you can do things on your own or with friends. She also would complain about us being a burden (to other people), while guilt tripping us to stay at home- I found out when my Grandmother said, "You should leave your mother's house, she shouldn't be looking after you at your age" (I was 19).

The funny thing is that my mother left home when she was 14yrs old to train as a nurse. Let them go and have a life, let them live and they will love you for it- I don't talk to my mother much and you don't want that type of relationship with your kids. I don't and that's why I have taught my kids (son and daughter) to wash their own clothes, vacuum, cook, iron and budget money. They will not be lost if I died one day- your kids will be if youkeep giving them the job of being your security blankets.
Replied By: lvpeace on Jul 14, 2013, 7:57PM
During this episode Dr Phil put up a screenshot of Munchausen Syndrome by proxy definition. I never heard such a clear definition in my life. Could someone please repost the screenshot definition of Munchausen Syndrome by proxy by Dr Phil that aired on this episode? I need to read & review it for clarity desperately! Thanks!
Replied By: gr8thoughts on Jul 12, 2013, 4:50PM
Dr. Phil, I am so glad you reaired this episode and I paid closer attention to it. The difference this time is that I recognized that you mentioned Munchausen Syndrome by proxy. I believe I have endured this since I was a child from an emotion aspect and It had been a source of depression for me. I have resisted the baiting from my afflictor since having my own children though I haven't been able to break ties altogether since this person is my mother and I need to have contact for the sake of my father.. I hope you do a show soon about the different degrees and facets of this condition-from the sudtle to the extreme..
Replied By: sherror on Jul 11, 2013, 3:05PM
Wow. This show had me crying like a baby. This woman's pain was so palpable. It's obvious she loves her children and her intentions are to do the best for them. I hope she makes some positive changes to help her children to be able and ready to face the real world.
Replied By: jrnrma4 on Jul 10, 2013, 4:08PM - In reply to kjs215
As a survivor of sexual abuse from a step parent, my mother called my sister, step sister and I lying little whores when we finally got the nerve to tell her. Our step father had told us he would kill her if we ever told, which as a child, you tend to believe the predator will indeed do that. When I had my children, I was determined no one would ever hurt them in that way, and I would always be here for them. The "excuse" of abuse was not a reason to be the type of mother she is. I have been in her shoes, the very same. I raised my children to be self sufficient, responsible, and to quite honestly make mistakes, and sometimes "fail." We all have failed at something, whether it be a bad grade, something... My children have been taught if you try and fail, keep trying. They are responsible and they know how to floss their own teeth. I am a Mom, not Superwoman, therefore I cannot and will not do everything for them. For them to be responsible adults, they have to learn what sufficiency is, know what dissappointment is, and most importantly know how to live and survive in the real world without Mom. I will not always be here, one day my children will have to bury me. It is then, the skills I have taught them, are the ones they best be ready for. In fact they best be ready as adults.
Replied By: dkt817 on Jul 10, 2013, 8:37AM
I just saw this program on KXTA.  I can sooo relate to this Mom.  I was sexually abused as a child, mother did nothing, family did nothing, swept under rug.. Didn't happen.  I tried to be a good Mom, protecting my children, listening to them without being overly ruling.  I have empty nest that's overwhelming.  My children are grown & I have 5 grandchildren. I AM alone.  I feel my children see me as I see/saw my Mom so I do not or try not to imposs in their lives. I feel they resent me.  I only hear from them when they NEED me yet I don't feel they realise I need them.  I work from home, I'm always alone.  I think/feel they see me as I feel about my Mom.  I do not have relationship with her. I have accepted she resented me (had me at 17 in 1954, unmarried), doesn't like me, used me to get attention ( portrayed I was a bad child and such a burden), always put others before me.  I try to help my Mom when I can. She has stg 4 nonHopkins lymphoma & deminsia.  But she complains about everything I do for her.. To younger sister who doesn't do anything for her but call & occasionally stops by with take out.  Like I was expected to take care if all physical help but sister in control & calls whats allowed in Mothers care.Im rambling.. Tooo many issues, too many problems,  no peace!
Replied By: kjs215 on Jul 10, 2013, 6:21AM - In reply to jrnrma4
Your childhood sounds just like mine. My sister and I had been molested by our doctor as young children. And like you I don't hover over my children like this woman. I have said it before and I will say it again, I am sick to death of people using this as an excuse for the way they act. My father liked his booze more than us kids, my mom was more concerned about herself and what the neighbors thought than us kids. When I did tell her about the sexual abuse by our doctor her reply was "well, he's dead now so it doesn't matter". Gee, thanks mom. My point, quit with the excuses and pull up your big girl panties and raise your kids with love and encouragement. Doing their homework is not going to make a healthy adult, it is going to create a needy adult.
Replied By: loyalalways on Jul 10, 2013, 12:46AM - In reply to grandmaofthree
Did people, especially your own mother call you a liar when you talked about your abuse???? Her own mother wouldn't believe her. How do you think that felt to a young child? It's not something that you can just forget after awhile. It's like being abused all over again. It has stayed with her through her adulthood. It is NOT her fault. She deserves compassion.
Replied By: loyalalways on Jul 9, 2013, 10:20PM - In reply to montanamiss
Do you know this person personally?? What makes you an expert on what she's going to do and what she's not going to do? Do you know more than Dr. Phil? I'm just curious.

I felt very sorry for this woman. She is in REAL pain. She wasn't trying to hurt her children. She thought she was doing what needed to be done to protect her children. She didn't want them going through what she went through as a child. I thought that Dr. Phil handled her very well; a little rough at first, but, very compassionate at the end, where it counts.

Until we've walked in someone else's shoes, we shouldn't judge someone else. We don't know how we'd react under the same circumstances. I saw REAL tears and a woman in a LOT of pain from her childhood. She was not only sexually abused, but, her mother betrayed her by not believing her when she finally did tell her.  She was alone, she was scared and most likely felt that it was her fault that she was being abused. Because her mother didn't believe her, she probably felt that she was't loved.

She is TRYING to fix things. I believe that Dr. Phil has the resources that will help this family and help them to stay healed for the rest of their lives. I sure hope so.
Replied By: rae2013 on Jul 9, 2013, 9:25PM
I can relate with this mother. I do not consider myself a helicopter parent, however I do fear my child being hurt by someone else. I can only imagine how freeing this experience will be for her and how exhausting her previous behaviours must have been. You can really se how much she loved her family to devote so much time, effort and energy into keeping them safe. I am glad she will be able to start to heal.
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