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2013 Shows

 
Eighteen-year-old Atira is being accused of tearing her family apart. Her mother, Yolanda, sister, Alexa, and brother, Stuart, say the young mom is a "lazy slob," who yells, shoves and cusses, and they’re tired of the chaos she creates. Atira admits she’s full of anger but says her family makes no effort to understand her. Is Atira just an out-of-control, bratty teen, or is a dark secret from her past causing her to lash out? When Dr. Phil digs into this family’s history, will Yolanda, Alexa and Stuart begin to better understand Atira? Then, Atira confronts Yolanda for ignoring her cries for help as a child. Where was her mom when she says she needed her most? Will mother and daughter find a common ground on which to rebuild their relationship? Then, former prosecutor Loni Coombs, author of the new book, “You’re Perfect” ... and Other Lies Parents Tell, joins Dr. Phil. Learn about her six parenting tips for effective listening. Plus, find out how a marshmallow can help you learn critical information about your child’s future, and the most important thing Dr. Phil says you must do with your child every day. This program contains strong sexual content. Viewer discretion advised.

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: sudsurvivor on Dec 13, 2014, 6:25PM
This could be my story, all of it! And I'm writing to mom telling her about what I need from her. This is a very brave woman and I want to thank her.
 
Replied By: dutchwomanhg on Sep 25, 2013, 1:10AM
Hello Atira, I would like t react on the topic of your family all the way from Holland. I am so sorry for what happened to you during all those years.  I think I know what it must have been like for you, because i've been through the same thing myself from my 9th till my 12h. In my case it was my older brother, but the most important thing is that my mother also did not protect me.

I saw the look on your face when you told your story and when you listened to what your mother had to say. It reminded me so much of myself and my mother when I tried to talk to her. I cried when I saw the hurt on your face. It touched my heart, because I know s well how that feels.

I have been in therapy for almost a year now. I am very motivated to do the right thing and I know now that you can pass all this although it is a big proces with a lot of struggle. Please take your time and most of all: give yourself the love and respect you deserve. When you can do that, you will give yourself and your child (and also your innerchild) the tools for becoming a strong and happy person.

I wish you al the best.

With love from Holland.
 
Replied By: manysteps on Apr 6, 2013, 8:00AM - In reply to chflemming
 I am sorry to hear of what happened to you. And it is sad to say that the same is the case for many women. Congratulations for going through rehab, that had to take alot of strength to work through. There are still some things you can do to protect your kids: teaching them to express their feelings & validating them as valued human beings. There are still ways they can be empowered.


 I have been going to a support group & it has been a great help. I am hoping there is something in your area to help you.
 
Replied By: chflemming on Apr 2, 2013, 8:17PM
This segment makes me SO angry!!!! I also had a step-father who touched me inappropriatley. He also would tickle me until it excited him so much that he would masturbate. He followed my EVERY move and taped all of my phone conversations. When my mother found out, she stayed with him (even after he admitted to the abuse.) 
I was married to the father of my children for 12 years, and when we seperated 2 yrs ago, my "parents" moved him into their home.  I had a serious alcohol addiction because of my past, and I had my children taken away from me in Feb of last year. Guess where they are living... Yep, with my ex in my parent's home. I went to court on Monday of this week, and I was taken off of probabtion because I have successfully completed and am active in my recovery.  Does that change the outcome of where my children are living? NO!!! It is unfortunate, but in 5-10 years they will probably be the next guests on Dr. Phil, As their mom, I have fought to change it, but NO ONE listens.  
 
Replied By: manysteps on Mar 10, 2013, 11:13AM - In reply to patburton822
 This sounds similar of what happens in a family where sex abuse & physical abuse has happened. It has happened in my family, also. My family wants me to be healed, but it was never resolved in the first place. No one heard my full side of the story. Just heard it. Just heard it without trying to fix me & my way of thinking or how it effected them. I was the victim. Just hear my story, first. 


 Your daughter has constant daily triggers to remind her of the abuse that she has to sort out. Life is hard enough & stressful enough & she has her experience to make it harder. If your family doesn't change some behavior patterns, some family dynamics, she will continue to be triggered. This is an extremely complicated issue & is not likely to be resolved without good professional help. Yes, everyone in the family was victimized, but the daughter was more than you can know. 


 I sincerely hope the best for your family. My family needs it, too.
 
Replied By: patburton822 on Mar 10, 2013, 5:16AM - In reply to jlmink
I didn't know about THIS incident till after a year, this guys' Dad& BEST friend KNEW about it!. I was mad at my daughter cause she didn't have the courage or faith to tell me herself, that's how they SCARED my daughter into NOT telling me! WE WERE BOTH "victims" HERE!
I'm ashamed that I was NOT able to protect her by NOT knowing this was going on. My daughter has NO IDEA how much she is loved to this very day, despite our so-called "strained" relationship as she calls it....hell, we're in the middle of TEN games of words with friends at once on Facebook as we speak.
I wished she'd stop this hatred towards me and realize I'm NOT perfect, never was, probably never will be, am just an ordinary Mom, am human, I make mistakes like everyone else, and yet to this very day.....I STILL suffer her betrayal, consequences & wrath of her words.....but, all in all, am STILL her Mom and STILL love her despite her vicious, venomous anger towards me.
I've died a million times over WISHING I could have protected & saved her from that mess, it changed our relationship forever because she NEVER forgave me to this day. The pic posted is the two of us 2006, I invited her to the Halloween costume party and the dingbat won FIRST place! WTG Punkin'! She's always been SO successful in all the she applies herself towards, and yes, am still proud of her, whether she accepts it or not.
Love, MOM or as she calls me "mudder"
 
Replied By: patburton822 on Mar 10, 2013, 4:48AM - In reply to jlmink
I did NOT know for a whole year, remember? But HIS Dad & best friend knew, remember?
I was mad at YOU cause YOU didn't have faith or the courage enough to come to me and tell me yourself! 
HOW can we mend our family if you won't STOP beating yourself up about this, or beating me up for MILLIONS to read?
Am NOT mad at you right now, just broken-hearted & disappointed Punkin'.
STOP THE INSANITY, please?


<3 LOVE,  MOM
 
Replied By: patburton822 on Mar 10, 2013, 4:34AM - In reply to jlmink
 
Humiliating as it seems for all the world to read, your reply says it all, thanks Jenn. You're my ONLY daughter, I don't hate you, but am NOT surprised what you posted on Dr. Phil 5 days ago.
Will this bitter feud & battle ever end with you? WHY am I always the "giving" one in the family?
HOW many times can I ever say I'm SORRY for the way you turned out, NO excuse & it wasn't MY fault Danny went after you, I was the LAST one to know, I'd appreciate a retraction how Danny's Dad & best friend Tony knew for a YEAR & I didn't? THAT'S why I was so angry with you for NOT coming to ME 1st, you changed SO MUCH after that. And the reason you came BACK to the same home was because I talked your foster sister into MAKING you come back so ALL 4 of us could get out of there as a family and TOGETHER at the counselor's request, remember? WHY do you always have to be SO pissed off and angry at me for YOUR life, you got MY hard earned child support money all those years, including my tax returns that paid for YOUR Lasik Eye Surgery, too, remember your Skype confession last July? STOP THE INSANITY & STOP HATING ME, you'll regret it one day after I'm gone.
I have a LOT of regrets, made a LOT of mistakes, I'm human....STOP verbal abusing & treating me like an animal. You don't need or want me as your Mom, I get that, got it a LONG time ago. Just respect you're here because of me, not in spite of me, ok? Truce?
Love, MOM
 
Replied By: valeriehill on Mar 8, 2013, 8:10AM
I am a retired Pediatric Nurse Practitioner (35years)with my focus in development of children to age 5 and their neurology and behavior.  I wish to comment on the end of the program where you mention the" marshmello" study.  You are right in saying that this  delayed gratification may predict later self control etc.  However there is some work being done at the University of Rochester(Scientific American Mind, Mar/Apr 2013 pg. 8) which questions the validity of thie 1972 study on all children.  Socioeconomic status and trust play a large part in the self-control of children.  If you are a child that cannot trust parents or other authority figues (in the case of physical or emotional abuse), or are chronically limited in access to food, you will take the one marshmello because you do not trust the researcher and you are hungry.  A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.  Just a comment.
 
Replied By: busyangel on Mar 7, 2013, 3:13PM
I understand how this young lady feels more than I would like to.  I was abused for 13 years by 3 different family members.  I finally had to leave home for it to end.  I know for a fact that my mother, fahter , step-father and other family members knew.  I even went to CPS w/ the abuse and nothing was done.  My mother denies knowing about it to this day.  Members of my step-family and my mother had a big "meeting" about it and I was asked questions so how could they not do anything. 


I suffered w/ anger issues for many years until I finally received help.  I still have other issues but what disgusts me the most is family knowing about these type of things but doing nothing.  They then have the gall to say they didn't know.  Just don't get it. 

I have a family of my own now and a wonderful , supportive husband.  Iwould never let something like this happen to my children and if someone tried it then GOD help them. 
 
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