2013 Shows

(Original Air Date: 01/16/13) Laurie and Patrick say their 25-year-old son, Stephen’s, rage is so out of control that they’re afraid he’ll kill them if something doesn’t change. They say Stephen, who is unemployed and lives with them rent-free, has destroyed their house, stolen from them and even threatened to shoot them in the head when they refused to give him gas money. Watch as Dr. Phil cameras visit the family’s home -- and the cops show up! Stephen says he feels like he has no control over his actions once something sets him off. What’s at the root of his anger? And, is he ready to get help? Plus, how might Laurie and Patrick be contributing to his behavior? Then, Jessica says her fiancé, Justin, is a great guy when he’s sober but becomes violent and abusive when he drinks, and their relationship is on the brink of disaster. She says Justin, while under the influence, has spit on her, kicked her and even pushed her when she was three months pregnant. Justin admits he has a drinking problem -- but is he willing to get help?

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: inhere on May 2, 2017, 10:21AM - In reply to tito2844
I believe you are correct. However, the fact the man (notice I did not say child) shows any emotion gives hope. Manipulative, absolutely. Sometimes one has to allow the manipulation to happen (referring to the alligatior tears) in order to allow the person to get themselves out of a corner. A game of sorts if you will. Hopefully, when he went to the facility in Dallas, the professionals there called him out, and equipped him with better coping skills allowing him to get on with his own life, adulting, and not bullying his way through it....... wonder where they all are now....
Replied By: inhere on May 2, 2017, 10:08AM - In reply to tito2844
Perhaps he isn't sick or very sick. Learned behavior.... I agree..... I think that in a situation like this one, one has to take ANY opportunity presented to get the family to participate in correcting what's wrong. I noticed the same thing you did. In fact, I was intrigued when the brother stepped in wondering who he was and what magic he was using to gain control not realizing it was the brother. 

Though they never said what stimulant medication he was on, I'm going to guess it was ADHD medication, one because Drs seem to hand it out more readily than they should and two I've witnessed first hand when someone takes ADHD meds and doesn't really need them, can become INCREDIBLY aggitated and the wind blowing.......
Replied By: strine on Nov 24, 2013, 10:27PM
Steven and Kyle are both adults and need to be out of their house. One son is made the bad guy here and Dr Phil said he should leave because he's older than 18. They're both adults and both should be out having their own lives while the parents change their rooms into something they want and get some sleep. I agree with Dr Phill that it's the parents fault for babying their kids and trying to keep them bubblewrapped at home.
Replied By: grumpy_bowler on Jun 5, 2013, 10:47AM
My son had these, as a child and as teen. Samething. My husband and I were afraid of him, but we never showed this. We "gave in" to him. Now he is on aderal and is doing great. Married, has 2 beautiful chiuldren, working and providing a very good life for his family. Yes he had anger issues, but with theropy we understand now. I wish this family luck getting their son back.
Replied By: upsydasy on Jun 4, 2013, 10:49AM - In reply to jennysgram
Kids usually go to college between the ages of 18-20 and move on with their lives from there.  Some may live nearby and can continue living with their parents while others have to live in dorms or cheap flats that they share with other students.  My parents grew up during the “real” depression back in the late 20's. They were stricter with my generation because they always feared being poor again and didn’t want us to ever go through what they did. There’s no problem with kids nowadays staying home as long as they participate. Yet, if they can’t even hold down a part-time job by the time they’re 24 and out of school - Houston, we’ve got a problem. Somewhere or somehow the line of communication about how life works broke down and everybody, including the parents end up paying the price. By the way, it took me more than 5 years to finish college at night so that I could get a better job and support myself properly. Now I own my own home with no help from my parents or husband. It may have taken me longer than some to achieve the goals that I set for myself, but at least I got it done. Even though I never drove a BMW or bought a 4 bedroom house fresh out of college, I am still able to look back on some of the things that I accomplished and feel a little proud of myself. I don’t think I would have felt that good about bumming 20 bucks from my parents for gas at the age of 24 because I couldn’t last a week working at the local burger joint.  (Oh and those stupid hats they made us wear... don't even let me get started.  Yet it WAS a lesson in humility that I will never forget.)
Replied By: jennysgram on Jun 4, 2013, 9:06AM
I feel it's unrealistic to expect most 18-year olds to leave the house and fend for themselves.  My son and daughter, both in their 30's and professionals now, were at home past 18, going to school and working.  I did not charge rent because they were saving their money for their own homes.  Had they not been saving money and/or attending college, rent would have been their responsibility to pay.  I think teens just out of high school and many times unsure as to what they really want to do still need the security of their home to make sound decisions.  Also, many teens do not have the financial resources to attend college.  Though they may be lucky enough to find full-time employment after high school, salaries these days for people so young and without a college diploma fall far short when it comes to paying rent, utilities, groceries, insurance, etc.
Replied By: upsydasy on Jun 4, 2013, 6:42AM - In reply to mommajfla
I agree with you 100% that 18-20 is the perfect age to get out of your parents house.  When I was 18 and began working full time my parents charged me rent.  They didn’t need the money, which was about $100 per month at the time, but they wanted to teach me that there’s no such thing in this world as a free ride.  I left home at 19 (for other reasons), got my own apartment, worked 2 menial jobs that I hated and eventually managed to finish college at night.  If your 18 or 20 year old can’t manage to pay the rent, then he or she should get a roommate and pool their money.  That’s how it works.  If a parent hasn't prepared their child for this next stage in their lives then they're doing something terribly wrong and quite possibly crippling them forever as well. You can’t remain dependant on your parents who gave you life, an education and a roof over your head for the rest of your days, just because of the economy.  Life is tough – get use to it and so should your kids.
Replied By: upsydasy on Jun 4, 2013, 5:54AM
The problem is that young people who get kicked out of their homes (some deservedly so) then become society’s problem.  They beg on the streets until they have enough money to get drunk or stoned, hang out in alleys or in the back of stores and restaurants that we visit.  Some are violent and the anger that they manifested at home is even more prevalent once they’re on the streets fending for themselves.  They find each other and congregate.  Together, they destroy property, scare away customers and ruin neighborhood parks.  One such young man, new to our area, walked half way up a lane facing my condo, dropped his pants and took a dump right in front of me just last week.  They have no shame, smell horribly and act like animals.  Once he finished his “business and wiped his butt” he spied me sitting on my 2nd floor balcony and proceeded to threaten me. 

After watching this show and reading some of these comments, I came to the conclusion that there has to be something more seriously wrong with these young people who apparently came from good homes and had loving parents.  Obviously not all of them were abused or aged out of foster care. 

The kind of behavior that we saw Stephen exhibit on the show is NOT normal and can’t possibly be blamed solely on the parent’s leniency and/or video games. There must also be neurological issues that cause him to become so lazy, disrespectful and enraged?  Poor impulse control such as lying, stealing and threatening to kill your parents over 20 bucks is insane!  Kicking Stephen out of the house is one thing, but what are WE supposed to do with him once he’s out on the streets and shitting in our backyards on a hot and sunny day.  (I can just see some of you laughing right now, but believe me it happens all the time!)  Not every family has the tens of thousands of dollars is takes to send these troubled youths to facilities that can rehabilitate them and neither does the government.  Our tax dollars are already stretched to the limit as it is.

The city sometimes traps wild animals that just happen to veer off course and relocates them to where they belong.  The only problem is that street kids don’t belong anywhere – certainly not squatting in our lobbies at night (the lingering stench and trash they leave behind in the mornings are unbearable) or loitering in back lanes and storefronts.

So by all means kick your troubled kids to the curb as some here suggested, but please drive them someplace faraway in nowhere's ville where they can’t harass anybody else either.
Replied By: sharan1955 on Jun 3, 2013, 6:33PM - In reply to sandysla
Your show reminded me of my son, he is 24, He was out of control starting at age 18 when he realized he could do what he wanted and our hands were tied, He brought drugs into the home, he called me the B word so many flipping times that I cannot count them, You are right Doctor Phil, as long as I allowed it, it continued on doing this, I would feel guilty and kept letting him come back home, This show just hit home so much, we just recently about a yr ago allowed him to come back home again, and he made all of the promises and my husband (his dad) all the promises were good until he started doing the drug thing again and we put our foot down, we thought it would be best to pay for a place for him that had controlled utilities etc. 

We have done that, we do not give him money for anything else all we do is pay his rent, the peace of mind knowing he isn't on the streets and me feeling guilty is worth the money to have him in his own environment so he can be a (MAN) ha ha,   We have done the therapist, medications and all of the above what you are doing with this young man, I find that with our son it is his personal choice and he made a choice and he has to live with himself, I do not allow him to call me unless he speaks kindly to me and with respect, when he raises his voice, I do let him know that I am hanging up and when he wants to be a (MAN) and talk to me with respect we will talk.

He has threatened us, he broke the back window in my car, he punched dents in his fathers car, he has made threats towards me, and I let him know there is a diary and if anything happens to us, he will be the first to be questioned,  His words to us were, "I don't mean the things I say"  he has control of the words that come out of his mouth, he has to think about what he is saying and as you stated on your show today, they are complete sentences.  

I am scared of him because of the words he uses and his threats, I have addison's so it takes quite a toll on me,  but I am doing better, I feel good with how I am handling it now, and with your air'd show, it encouraged me to keep on doing what I am doing.   When he does call now, it is peaceful, we do meet up at starbucks and we have nice chats, I do not take him anywhere, and he is not allowed to come home until he accepts all of the help we have paid for him to have. 

He has so much anger, some of it justified, but he is an adult now, either work through it and work hard to get peace or be in pain, 

I just want to thank you very much for doing this show,  excuse the spelling. That is the least of my worries.  :-)
Replied By: francesca62 on Jun 3, 2013, 5:19PM
So for all of us that have a son like Stephen, where do you go when you either don't have the funds to fly to Texas for the 5 star evaluation or your "stephen" won't fly but is willing to go locally where he feels more in control.  Is there an East Coast or New England 5 star location? I've been searching for 5 years now.  It's like a lottery ticket for the few families that get onto the show and get the free treatment.  The rest of us just watch and feel frustrated that we didn't get the winning ticket to Texas.  Dr. Phil, give us more options within our geographical constraints.
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