First, I wanted to say Karen, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter.  No mother should have to see her child leave this world.  Your daughter was a blessing in life and thanks to your difficult decission she was able to keep blessing people after death.  She seems to have had a joyful life.  A life that may not have had quantity but had an abundance of quality.  Then she gave not only life but quality of life to someone who hadn't had that all her life due to always being sick.  Thank you for sharing your story with us, with me.  You have blessed me with seeing the love you have for your daughter and for other people in general.

Hi, My three girls and I keep the Dr. Phil show set to record every day on our Dish Network. I was not home on December the 14, 2012. My daughter and I were at a doctors appointment. I didn't even know about the horrid evil event that had taken place until we got home late that evening. What I am writing for is that our Dr. Phil show for the 14th did not record becasue it was an hour of news covering what all was going on that day with all the shootings. Is there a ways we could watch that show? Our daughters are 22, 16 and 16. They love to watch the shows just as much I do especially my Krysta. She has been very sick and is now having to be taught her school lessons at home via a teacher on home bound teaching. She was just as disappointed as I was that the show didn't tape that day. Can you please help us out in being able to view it? We would appreciate it so very much! Thank you so much and we hope you all have a great week!
                                                                                           Sincerely Yours,
                                                                                          The Stackpoles  
                                                                           Sharmion, Tiffany, Krysta and Keera

Saw the show today, and was blown away by the dynamics of Erica and Jackie.  I applaud Jackie's effort to turn to Dr Phil for help, however, I don't feel it paid off for her today.  I thought that Dr. Phil pounced on her, when there are always (2) sides to every story, and i guess for ratings, he needed to chose the mom.  So, thank you Jackie for letting me know that it won't be cool, because I thought of doing the same thing, regarding seeking help for my relationship with my daughter.  It's different situations, but the dynamics are the same.  As parents, we are both experiencing heart pain and abandonment.  May I suggest Erica get counseling now that she's a woman, and place the blame where the blame goes, and take Dr. Phil's advice to forgive her mom.  As an african american mother of a 30 year old daughter, whom I have done my best for, I can say that sometimes maybe we didn't always make the best choices, or handle things the way others think we should have, but it doesn't mean that we deserve to be punished.  At least Jackie apologized, but that wasn't good enough for Erica, because she is choosing to PUNISH her mother, and it's not fair.  In my case, I put my daughter through Howard University (2000-2004) at a pricetag of $86,000, with acrued interest, it's now $143,000.00.  She's been back home to visit me 3 times, on business for her, 2-3 days at a time. So when I realized I was financially taken advantage of, I began asking her to help me pay this loan back, and guess what?  SUDDENLY I WAS A BAD PARENT, while she was growing up. I did this, and I did that,!  I have since said horrible things to her, and like jackie, has hailed some name calling because she has provoked it, and hurt me tremendously.  I too have apoligized for every thing that I ever did that was wrong, over and over again, and it wasn't good enough, and just think, I don't even have a drug history.  Why so much disresepct and selective amnesia?  because of selfishness.  I saw and heard the same type of stuff coming from Erica.  I am not downplaying her sexual assault, because i have seen the same thing in my life, and my mother chose to stay friends with the person, at least jackie put the man in jail, and attempted to thrawt any releases, but that wasn't good enough. I am sure from observing Jackie that she has gone above and beyond for her daughter, because that's what we do, especially those of us who has some guilt issues. I thought that the 28 minutes of help that Jackie was seeking, will only cause her years more of shame and guilt, and it's not fair. I am sure she wasn't in the next room knowing her daughter was being molested.  I understand vulnerability, and dysfunction, and maybe if Erica realized that maybe her mom was in a situation where she was too weak to fight, and respect that, then I she begin to heal.  I hope she takes Dr. Phil's advice, because she needs to forgive.  We know where we have been in life, and we know where we are at, but we don't know where we are going.  In other words, her precious child that she refuses to share with her mom right now, could one day treat her the same way. It's called Karma, and it does come back around.  I understood the dynamics here today, and if Jackie needs a new friend for support, please put us in contact.  Thank you.

My heart goes out to the mom that lost her daughter. I say GOD bless her for allowing her heart to be used to heal someone elses child.  I am very aware of how this feels, my now 14 year old niece was born with heart problems.  She spent the first 2 years of her life in the hosptial.  When she was 10 she went into congestive heart failure from the problems with her heart.  A young man in the Chicago area lost his life at the same time my niece was in the hospital. And because he had the for thought to be an organ donor. My niece now lives a basically healthy life. There are still issues and always will be.  She must take meds the rest of herlife. However, she does get to enjoy life as a teenager.  I pray for the family of the young man that lost his life, and I thank them with all my heart for allowing my niece to live.  If I could thank them in person I would.
 My prayers to the lady on the show, I know it is bittersweet to see the other young lady.  And I praise GOD that thie young lady did receive such a special heart.

Forgiveness is important for your own healing. I recognize the rage in the daughter's eyes because that rage was in mine for over twenty years. I forgave the man that molested me, and that rage has cooled now. I don't believe that the man got a free pass- he owes an explanation to God. However, I don't carry the burden of him with me every day. I carry emotional scars, but the hate is gone. I think that is what Dr. Phil was referring to.

Best show ever, I watched on the internet as I work during the time it is on Pittsburgh, I loved it, very moving, very real and VERY EMOTIONAL.    GREAT SHOW DR. PHIL.  

My husband died a couple of years ago of a heart attack. It was sudden and unexpected. At the hospital they asked me if I wanted him to donation organs.  I was surprised... he'd had a heart attack, he can't donate that. His liver was probably unusable as he drank quite often. So I asked them, "What is left?"


The lady was so precious and so sweet to me and said, "Oh sweetie, there is so much more to your sweetheart than just two organs. He can donate those beautiful blue eyes. He can donate skin which often helps burn victims..."


I was so in tears by then I didn't hear what else she had to say. I GRATEFULLY told her, "YES oh yes. Bear (my husband) would be so happy to know he could help someone with these organs and he didn't completely destroy his body."


Since you had a small spot on your show today about the two girls, one that died and one that donated her heart, I was hoping you could mention there is so much more to donate than just heart, liver, kidney etc. It is so easy to sign up to be a donor. You can do it right at the DMV.


One more little thing about organ donation (I'll try to make it small).


My niece (my sister's daughter) was born with with a disease called Biliaritatresia (that is probably not spelled right). Her disease was so rare doctors sent her home to die on several occasions. She defied the odds and became the oldest living person surviving this disease. She had a liver transplant a few years ago which saved her life. She continues to fight other problems stemming from her illness but she is a delight to all who know her and, through it all, remains happy and fun loving. Several large newspapers have done stories on her her periodically since she was not supposed to live (I think the stories were to say "goodbye").

Most American are aware of  the horrible things that go on in other countries but you need to take care of those close to you first before you can help others that are far away.  That is the problem with a lot of American families, they are not staying together and giving their children the support that they need.  When you have healthy, happy families, then you are able to help others!

I really have empathy for the young lady who was abused by her mother.  It was quite evident that the mother did not want to admit that she was an abusive mother.  That is why I disagree with Dr. Phil that the daughter should forgive her.  Yes, I understand that the daughter should not let the hatred for her mother destroy her happiness but to actually forgive the mother, I do not feel she needs to do that.  It gives the mother a "free ride" and does not make her face the fact of how abusive she was to her daughter.  The mother did not seem to have any empathy for her daughter and that is the main reason I do not feel that she should be forgiven.

Should people be able to do whatever they want, especially to children and then when the child is grown and the parent is older, they should be forgiven?  I think not.

The second segment about the heart recipient was so heartwarming and again I empathize with the mother who lost her lovely daughter.  It must have been so hard to make a decision like that and I am so glad that the young girl and mother were able to meet.
T

Erica: 

My heart goes out to you.  In my case my mother had no clue that my sisters and I were being molested by our father when he was drunk.  We sat her down when we became moms so that our children would be protected.  She was devastated.  Each of my sisters handled our situation differently.  My eldest sister became extremely controlling in all aspects of her life and was often quoted to say "all men suck" and "I hate all men."  My younger sister was withdrawn and holds all her troubles inside.  My youngest sister was mad at our mother and blamed her.  My only brother never admitted to being molested but had batteled many addictions over the years.  In my mid 20's when I had my sons, I made a conscious effort to handle things differently.  I created a "God Shelf" (in my mind) where I took all those horrific memories and layed them at the feet of Our Lord.  I prayed for the abilty to forgive, peace of mind, body and soul, and asked The Lord to remove all negative thoughts and feelings.  I placed my past with my father on my God shelf and never looked back.  As a result, I was able  to care for him when he was ill and love him for the good he did. You see Erica there can be a good quality of life after molestation.  You have the control to live your life in harmony.  I did.  Best of luck to you and may the good Lord bless and keep you!