Sign up for the Dr. Phil Newsletter
Twitter Facebook YouTube

2013 Shows

 
(Original AIr Date: 12/06/12) Donna and Roger say their 25-year-old daughter, Jordan, is addicted to drugs, reckless and out of control, but she wasn’t always that way. How did she go from a mature, polite child to disrespectful teenager with multiple arrests in just a few short years? Donna says she blames her ex-husband for always going to Jordan’s rescue and not allowing her to suffer the consequences of her bad behavior. She says Roger has given their daughter thousands of dollars, has bailed her out of jail, bought her new cars and an apartment and has spoiled Jordan -- despite her defiance. Donna’s sister, Marianne, agrees that Roger is the problem and says until he changes his behavior, Jordan will never have a chance. Has Roger been enabling Jordan? Find out what Dr. Phil thinks. And, after five failed attempts at rehab, hear what Jordan has to say about why she can’t get clean. What does she think about the accusations toward her dad? And, where does Roger lay blame? Can Dr. Phil help these ex-spouses become a unified front to better serve their daughter? And, find out if you're an enabling parent. Tune in and take this quiz!

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: collcon on Jun 21, 2013, 2:22PM
I was so mad.  The aunt was throwing the dad under the bus.   What about the mom?  she took her to get drugs twice to get to the show.  I thought the aunt should have been kicked off the show, and the mom should have been chewed out for taking her to buy the drugs.  I would have called the cops on my child.
 
Replied By: lkmurphy on Jun 21, 2013, 2:19PM - In reply to kadunagan1816
If your  brother's addiction is a result of the pain medications he was put on while being  treated for an injuries that occurred at work, rehab should be paid for by his companies workers compensation carrier.
 
Replied By: lkmurphy on Jun 20, 2013, 6:03PM - In reply to stadlerc
I believe that our path in life is predetermined and all we need to do is stop preventing consequences and saving our children and amazingly they save themselves.


it took me five years to stop saving my son from his drug addiction, I thank god every day that he didn't die while I worked to get the strength to let his train wreck of a life come crashing down on him.


its not easy to sent your child to jail, it's hell to turn down their pleas to be bailed out.


but today he is 15 months clean, working, supporting himself......he's always on time and always there when our family needs him and best of all when I look in his eyes.........I finally see him.  If you love your child and I have no doubt that you do be strong stop enabling and get out of the way of his destiny....it's the only way it ever ends.






i don't know if or how long this will last but I live just for today and am grateful for every one I get.


p





 
Replied By: stadlerc on Jun 20, 2013, 10:32AM
My son was diagnosed with ADHD as a child.  He was a great kid, athletic,, friendly and a lot of fun to be with.  In high school he ran Track and played Football.  When he was a junior he changed.  I blamed it on his break up with his girlfriend at first.  When I took him to the doctor they diagnosed him as bi-polar.  He has been on many different medications and finally just stopped taking his presecriptions.  He has had a substance abuse problem since he was about 15 (to the best of my knowledge).  He uses hallucinogens, cocaine, and marijuana.  He also drinks regularly.

My heart went out to the parents on the show last night.  You love your children so much that you just want to fix everything.  I still feel responsible and frustrated .  My son is now 24, lives in another state, is unemployed, and sleeps on couches wherever he can. I am just waiting for the call to say he is in jail or dead.  Part of me hopes he will wake up one day and want a better life.  Am I kidding myself?

When you have a baby you don't  look into their eyes and say I hope you grow up to be a drug addict.  How can you cope with the pain of watching your child live like this?  I have three other children ages 23, 12, and 10.  We are all suffering through this.
 
Replied By: loyalalways on Jun 20, 2013, 1:04AM - In reply to farbsoob
I hope you don't mind my giving you some advice. I agree with you. I think it would be a good idea if you called the police on your daughter. If she's drinking and driving, she could not only kill herself, but she may kill someone else, someone innocent. I don't think you'd be a bad mother if you called them. Sometimes we have to take extreme measures to help someone. It's probably best if you don't tell anyone that you called them just in case it gets back to her. Down the road when she's healthy again you can tell her, if you want. You'll actually be doing her a favor.

Having one illness is bad enough, but she's got 2 since she's also bullimic. If she gets caught by the police, maybe she'll go for help. It's worth a try. I know it's a very hard thing to do, but keep reminding yourself that you're doing it to help her. It could be saving her life and/or someone else's. Good luck whatever you choose. :-)
 
Replied By: crysden on Jun 19, 2013, 9:39PM
i have an ex husband who is an addict, he has been addicted to drugs for 5+ yrs. Oxy, cocaine, heroin and gambling. We have three kids together, i have sole custody, and right to refuse access. I have refused access for a yr because he had gotten really high off crack cocaine and went crazy. I wont go in to details but it wasnt safe and it was very scary. Anyways, he will not admit he is an addict. He will tell you he can get sober on his own, or his mom will put him through this AVRT Addictions, voice recognition therapy and that is supposed to cure 5+ yrs of addiction. 

I should add he doesnt work, hasnt worked for a year, lives at his parents for free, mom pays FOR EVERYTHING for him. (she has paid his child support so he doesnt get caught driving with out a license, insurance, tickets, bailed him out of jail, i could go on..) Yes he has been in jail, for possession and possession of weapons. 




My question is can you quit drugs with out any form of help? am i doing wrong by not letting the kids talk to or see him? (as he will tell me im playing games but they dont want to talk to him) 


In order for him to see his kids i said he needs to go to rehab, get counselling, take parenting courses, anger management (he is abusive) and get a job. He tells me i am being unreasonable. Im protectiing my kids and ill do anything. 




Thank you all for your reply. some times i feel like im going crazy because of all the stuff he throws at me. 
 
Replied By: kadunagan1816 on Jun 19, 2013, 8:17PM
Dr Phil I do love watching your shows I receive a glimmer of hope at the time but, the reality is unless you have money nobody gives a damn if you are killing yourself and those that love you..We have tried to get help for my brother who is 58 years old and nobody gives a damn because he has worked hard all his life and can't afford a private insurance carrier or that he doesn't have $20,000.00 to pay...He is a good man who got hurt at work and was prescribed pain meds and it has grown into a monster...please forgive me my heart is broken!
 
Replied By: suezeek on Jun 19, 2013, 5:39PM
If you have a felony on your record in this day of computers it will be the end of your life.  Especially for drugs or sexual offenses.  No job.  No ability to rent an apartment.  No insurance.  No partner (most people can't understand).  Thousands of professions you can't get a license for, like nursing or child care or even hair dressing.  It's cheap and easy to run a check and NO one will employee you if they see a felony; esp when they have plenty of choices for people that have no record.  You can't travel to most countries legally as a tourist and never live there.  You end up on the street or in low-income housing along with the rest of the felons.  You can't even work at McDonalds.  So upbraiding that father trying to protect his daughter in a completely hopeless and impossible situation I can only attribute to Dr. Phil's separation from the world as it is now.  Leting her go to jail is the end of everything.
 
Replied By: luv2travel2 on Jun 19, 2013, 5:10PM
If you have a child that turns into and adult addict no matter what you do as a parent, you are screwed.  Ultimatley in the end it is up to the adult child to make the decision to stop and then continue to work at staying sober and clean. It's a family problem that will require some fancy team work, love, patience, understanding, forgiveness, owning up to your own mistakes but most of all acceptance, even if that means loving them as an addict and never giving up hope that your child will find his/her own way.


My experience is that as a family you will go through many different stages and emotions, some family members may eventually have little contact with the addict and the addict will have less desired emotional contact with the family as time and the disease progress. I say that if an addict is lucky they have a person or persons, parent or parents, siblings and friends, proffesionals that stick it out and support them in a healthy manner that helps lead them to change if they want that. The more years that pass the more difficult it becomes to believe that things will ever change and the addict knows that with each failed rehabilitation attempt they spiral further into addiction and self defeating behaviour. Eventually they stop trying and accept this as their way of life and at some point they ask you to accept who they are?
 It certainly takes a while to do that as a mother or a parent, it's not easy to accept that your child is an addict, liar, cheater, theif but most of all that they are in such tremendous pain and suffering and nothing you can do can change that.


It's very difficult to tell a parent what to do, how to feel or what to say even when the child is now an adult. If the problem has gone on for that long chance are the whole family fractured.  The mother and father should stop doing the things that enable their daughter to continue her drug use. Not only for her but for yourself, eventually you have to let them go. Most addicts are stuck in around the age that the addiction started even if they don't look it, emotionally they are stuck, they now and you know it. My 25 yr. old daughter who is not an addict call me to ask me how to make meatloaf for dinner and my 29 yr. old son calls to ask me can i buy him dinner. Maybe not that simple but you get the point. I think even we as parents are stuck somehow at the young child stage in caregiving if it has been going on that long. Either way it's just as difficult to watch them spin out of control wether your helping or not.

Dr. Phil made a reference to letting her stay in jail and it may clean her up or something to that effect. If this girl found drugs in L.A. in 10 minutes i can assure you she could find drugs in less time in jail. While i agree that bailing them out everytime does no good, jail is never a safe place and if the addict is in and out of jail often then you should be worried. I felt jail was the safest place my son could have been, he looked alot better and seemed remorseful. He was in survival mode i guess, mental health issues due to his drug use was overwhelming him, he couldn't stand it their for the 4 months awaiting his trial on petty crimes. I refused to post his bail as i did a few months proir and he failed all his conditions so went back. Even when i thought he was clean he was not, he was getting by somehow. He begged me to come to his hearing and post bail, i went to his hearing but said nothing. Frankly i was enjoying knowing where he was that he wasn't on the street using and maybe he could take advantage of some programs in jail. He called me a couple times a day and of course i would tell him all my hopes and dreams for him. He would tell me he wished i would accept him for who he was. That just went right over my head and when he called that night he was so angry with me for not getting him out, i told him i thought some time in jail wouldn't kill him. He hung up on me as he had many other times when he didn't like what i said.


The next morning while at work 2 police officers approached me with their hats over their hearts and asked me if Jason was my son, i feel to my knees and cried like i had never before.  He was found dead in his cell at 8 am that morning. 4 months later i learned he died from a herion overdose. The last few years of my son's life i feared that visit from the police, just has the addict goes into prepreation mode i think we do too but nothing could ever prepare a parent for the end of their childs life. It's been just over a year for us and healing is taking place. We feel that Jason is in a better place than he was here on earth. Never feel guilty for loving your child to much.  
 
Replied By: heartbrokenint on Jun 19, 2013, 3:24PM - In reply to farbsoob
I can totally relate to your comment.  I pray daily for my 25 year old daughter who is the mommy to my 5 year old granddaughter and soon to be another innocent baby.  It is heartbreaking to pray that even if it means jail you would rather see them there than destroying their lives and the lives of their familiy with addiction.  You live day to day waiting for that awful telephone call.  Along with the addiction also comes so much drama and every day is another crisis in their lives.  There is power in a mother's prayer.  My hope is in the Lord!
 
Showing 1-10 of total 54 Comments