2013 Shows

(Original Air Date: 11/20/12) Thirty-year-old mother of four Melissa Dilan-Hernandez made headlines when she was charged with unlawful sexual activity with certain minors, stemming from her relationship with her fiancé, T.J., who is 17 years old and the father of her 4-month-old child. Melissa is facing up to 15 years in prison and may have to register as a sex offender, yet she says she still doesn’t consider their relationship a crime. How does she justify her love affair with a minor -- and planning a pregnancy with him? T.J. says he wants to spend the rest of his life with Melissa -- but is he willing to wait for her if she goes to jail? And, could their romance stand in the way of his aspirations of becoming a U.S. Marine or police officer? T.J.’s father, Ed, and stepmother, Sea, weigh in with their thoughts on the relationship. Do they approve? Plus, don’t miss Dr. Phil’s stern advice for Melissa and T.J. -- and for any teen who may be blindsided by love.

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: lycan11 on Mar 4, 2015, 2:29PM
 I wouldn't call her a pedophile. I would call her a borderline pedophile, if that makes any sense. I mean, I believe she didn't intent to have sex with a child. (And let's face it, 15-year olds are children. Though not a little child anymore they are still far from being adults.) Anyway, I don't get the vibe that she would ever go around looking for a child and groom them to have sex with her, I don't think she's in any way sexually arroused by a child or the concept of over-powering a child. That is, I don't see her as a pedophile in the term's basic and common definition.

I get the impression and feeling that she had sex with him because she genuienly fell romantically in love with him as a person. You know human beings physical and mental/psychological sides are tightly connected and affect each other.
BUT - she knowingly and out of her own free will had sex with him, knowing that he was under 18 years old. And certainly she must have known that it's illegal and not okay in any other way either. That makes her borderline pedophile in my eyes, to do that regardless of it being illegal, regardless of knowing how young he naturally is emotionaly, and knowing that they could've waited until he's eighteen. Doing that is not excusable just because you're in love.

Also, as someone pushing 30 she shoud've had the responsibility and sense to tell herself AND this boy that they should wait and see what the next few years bring before they jump into sexual relations and even have a baby - because he was still a child, very unexperienced in life and emotionally very young. Too young to know what he really wants from life or from romantic relationship in a long run. Too young to start having sex. (Just think of it; 15 is only five short years from being a 10-year old little boy or girl.) And most certainly way too young to become a parent, what with not being anywhere near mature adult himself.

I don't think she's an evil person. I think she's an unbelieavably irresponsible and thoughtless person. It's because of that, and that it lead to this happening, why she should be locked up in prison for many years. It's pretty much the only way I see she might get real and realize what she's done and that her attitude and behaviour is the furthest thing from okay no matter how much she isn't a pedophile in the sense most of them are.

"It doesn't matter how old you are. Love is love.", she says.
WRONG, as it does matter how old you are. Because your understanding and experience of love and everything that comes with expressing that emotion, walks pretty much hand in hand with your age. Both, as an individual and together with your significant other's age. By their philosophy it would be okay for a 30-year old to have sex and enter a romantic relationship with a 12-year old because age is just a number because love is love. BULLSHIT. It's NOT just a number and there's more to love than it just being love, for the reason just mentioned.
Not to mention that the younger you are, the more life experience in general you should gain before settling into sexual or serious romantic relationships with anyone. Don't even get me satrted with parenthood matters...

But I also wish to say that while I understand TJ's dad's grim outlook on his son's future...I hope he's come to realize and convinced his son too, that no the kid's dreams have not been destroyed and all gone just because he fell victim to this woman and has a child. He can still become a police officer if he wants to. Being a cop is by no means impossible while being a father. TJ can make many of his dreams come true, although surely he could've done much more if he wasn't responsible for a child for the rest of his life. Because of course having a child requires many sacrifices and sets many limitations. But to say that all of his original dreams are impossible and gone...No, man, no they're not and don't have to be. And chances are those dreams would've and will change anyway as he grows older and explores all that life has to offer. :)
Replied By: paulab12 on Dec 13, 2013, 6:42AM - In reply to strine
Why   are you being so forgiving to this woman who is a paedophile?  Would you be so kind to a man who targeted an underage girl?
Replied By: strine on Oct 31, 2013, 12:13AM
I could see she was trying to play everyone and con them so she wouldn't go to jail and so she could have her dream journalism career. She said she went on the show to see if Dr Phil could tell her a way to still be a journalist. She said something about how life would be great when it all blows over (i.e. when she gets out of her deserved jail sentence). She tried to use the baby as an excuse to stay out of jail.

She tried to make TJ hate his father and defend her when she said Ed was attacking "us"- Ed was confronting only her (not TJ). She is your typical narcissistic sociopath who will use any excuse to get away with her choices and minimise her own part in anything (e.g. "we decided to have a baby, I didn't decide to have a baby with a minor" (except she did decide that and she did it)).


She would have been the one who told TJ to tell his father she was 23yrs old- because she is a liar and she has shown she is only out for her own wants however she can get them (i.e. leaving her kids and ex behind for a fun new fling). She hasn't seen her kids in a year and I was surprised she didn't say that was someone else's fault.

My prediction for the future... she will keep trying to get out of jail by manipulating the legal system with tears and sob stories etc. If she gets a short sentence she will leave TJ and their baby when someone more exciting comes along and blame it on TJ, their baby and his family (for "attacking us"). She will manipulate the new man into taking out an insurance policy on his life and he will end up dead somehow. It's her nature. Like a scorpion.  


I wouldn't put it past her to come on here with a fake account with phony pity for herself either. BTW she's a woman NOT a girl.

Replied By: huibertg on Oct 7, 2013, 6:17PM
today i watched the about Melissa Dilan-Hernandez for the second time. I really feel sorry her. She proberbly made a wrong choice, but treating her as a criminal who can get 15 years of prison is for me unbelievable. What also irritated me was her 'mother in law' who seems to have joy with her being in pain.

I have only one question in this mather. I missed one thing in this show.... Who was thinking about the baby. Everyone was convincing Melissa Dilan-Hernandez she is a criminal. What it will do with the child when mother is in prison.

I am myself a result of a relation with a 16 year old child with a 23 year old man.... Putting my father in prison would proberbly caused more damage to me than the mariage between my father and mother And everyone accepting the fact I was there. Thanks to the law in our country I had a lucky childhood and grew up Succesfull. I fear for the future for this child caused by this 'well meant' but badly applied lawsuccesfull. 

Replied By: nellybell29 on Jun 8, 2013, 11:00PM
Is this Remy from Marriage BootCamp: Bridezillas? I swear it is.
Replied By: gacutler1 on May 27, 2013, 10:22AM
AT 16 years old you can make a concious decision to die for your country. Not only can you die for your country the law requires you to sign up for selective service so that you can possibly be forsed to die for your country. But at 16 you can not make a decision for yourself who to have sex with.

What a double standard in such a modern country. I guess the life long effects of being in a war are less traumatic for a 16 year old than having sex.

People need to wake up.
Replied By: mainey65 on May 2, 2013, 9:14AM - In reply to abernard66
I wouldn't be calling him a pervert, I'd be calling him my husband of 26 years!  And we dated for 5 years before we were married. (started dating when I was 15 and he was 27).  We raised 2 sons together and we loved each other very much!  He passed away a short timne ago and I miss him every single day!  Everybody is different.  What works for some does not work for others.  As far as the "law" goes, I know it's there to protect people, but not everyone needs protecting - especially not me!
Replied By: mainey65 on May 2, 2013, 9:01AM - In reply to fenwaypark9
My reply is not so much about this particular couple, but about age difference.  My husband and I were 12 years apart; We started going out when he was 27 and I was 15.  We dated for 5 yrs, lived together for 1 and then got married.  We raise two sons together, who are now 23 & 25. We also hid our relationship from our families at first unsure of how they would react.  Our families' knew each other, in fact, we were neighbours.  When we did tell them, they were supportive -what else could they have done anyways?  Some of you are probably saying, "charge him and have him thrown in jail!".  Well, my husband was NOT a pedofile!  He was a very loving husband for 26 years and the best father that there ever was!  For those of you who noticed I am writing in the past tense and figured that our relationship didn't work out and that we ended up divorced - Your wrong.  He died.  He battled many years with cancer and kidnew problems and I was there fighting with him every steip of the way.  I would give anything to have him here by my side right now.  Please don't judge relationships on age, and if it's "legal" or not.  LOVE IS LOVE!
Replied By: rickmc8888 on Mar 18, 2013, 6:55AM
Well, at 16 we are allowed to get behind the wheel of a 2 ton missle, while texting,  at 18 we are entitled to go to war and shoot and kill people get married and have children, and at 21 we can go get drunk but the brain isn't matured until age 25 ? Doesn't all of the latter need to be the next Dr. Phil show? I would say given the rules of all of the latter that a 16 year old boy deciding to have sex is a minor infraction.
Replied By: rickmc8888 on Mar 18, 2013, 6:44AM - In reply to clive_canhome
Scott receives my "rah rah"! My wife and I were just discussing similar examples that tend to define "maturity" in todays psychological and legal systems. We considered the "Amish" sect, that marries young  and the Mormon sect that believe in polygamy. If you place a 35 year old ''trained from childhood polygamist' into our 'normal" society, they have no internal  idea that a relationship with two or more people is "morally" wrong, and their brain is fully developed.   The same with some Amish sects that marry at very young ages: a 14 year old is mature enough for them.  So this all gives us extreme evidence to strongly consider Scotts point of view. I have never agreed with the maturation of the brain at age 25. The brains physical size may be a factor but it's ability to perceive and develop logic at any given age has never been scientifically negated or established. 
     Considering the latter leads me to the polygraph test. Dr. Phil continues to use the polygraph as absolute evidence of truth when in fact it is as accurate as a coin toss. So the brain maturation and polygraph, with no substainable evidence of their accuracy, leads one to believe that Dr. Phil has fell pray to "sensationalism". What good is the show to  psychological advances if it becomes "Springertized" ?
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