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2012 Shows

Two moms who say they’re troubled by the hatred they often feel toward their children reach out to Dr. Phil for help. Tiffany says her 10-year-old daughter is a manipulative liar, and says, “I would be just fine if somebody took her.” Tiffany says she will oftentimes use corporal punishment as a consequence and admits to spanking her daughter until she was exhausted and telling her, “If I had a gun, I would have blown both of us away.” What’s at the root of her rage? And, can Tiffany learn to control her anger before it’s too late? Then, Karen admits that she feels resentment and anger toward her 14-year-old autistic daughter, Julia, and often thinks about running away. She says she has extreme frustration and annoyance for Julia’s “weird” and “unruly” behavior and often yells and screams hurtful things at her. Can Dr. Phil help Karen learn to care for her special needs daughter in a more patient and positive way?

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: laureni on Oct 20, 2014, 1:44PM
Maybe this episode is a few year's back but I just saw it in my country so I wanted to post. Also I only arrived home halfway in the show saw (Tiffany). I was shocked at first impression. However I think it is wonderful that she had the courage to admit that she has thoughts of possibly physically harming or even killing her child. She is saving her child's life by being on the show and getting help. 

However I think it sounds silly (a nicer adjective) for Tiffany to say that 
Replied By: anyakarenin on Jun 11, 2014, 2:18AM - In reply to mermaidram
........"are angry, bitter & rigid", wow.

"she's too good to listen to reason"??? Seriously? She's putting herself out there, publicly, for millions to scrutinize (not to mention Dr. Phil & his staff) BECAUSE she's SEARCHING for reason!

The fact you find her a stereotypical ANYTHING, is cause for great concern. Her 2 college degrees do in fact, mean 'something', which leads to your opinion as very telling. Her degrees are not the end all, HOWEVER they show focus, they show she can be educated. She's there to be scrutinized, publicly flogged & she can learn & YOU wish she had been "ripped" into? Because that would CHANGE what exactly? Put her back into secrecy, shame, oblivion?!? There, my dear, is WHY you find this a stereotype. What do you know of "The Eurocentric Way" & how "they" didn't use it. You, my dear are slamming another without premise.

Clearly no one said her mom didn't say or do anything but now you encroach upon ....."she disciplined Tiffany"....... AH! There it IS. Someone did. Someone white or someone who didn't like being "otherwise".
Dr. Phil asked her about her abuse. "I'm not going there with you" to Dr. Phil. He left it, as he should have, there was NO going there & I wept. There it was.
I saw this for the fist time today, you want her ripped into & my heart positively bled for that woman & child. She was so flawed she couldn't see it beyond...... "I need help".
God Bless Her. Your "Want" should be a matter of Great Concern. Superficial & Trite
might be words to consider in future.
Your "thinking the reason" is flawed. Tiffany will never wonder why her daughter hates her, are you for real? Are we watching the same interview?!? She won't CARE! Either they are both dead in the ground or Tiffany is relieved daughter is out of her life. She's made it very simple in her own thinking.

Tiffany was honest, honest to the point where it was clear, evident, the woman's values were flawed & she herself didn't know it, But, she showed up, she was there, something was wrong & she acknowledged it. How many people show up with the expectation they'd be ripped in to? Your opinion does ZERO service to anyone in need.
Did you watch her body language? Her head tilted forward (bowed), eyes upward when answering questions, where she KNEW she was in the wrong but always, always looking Dr. Phil in the eye. No long blink like when we spot a liar, no looking away. She never looked away. She stood her ground, she was "ok", but .......there was "something" that brought her to expose herself. Who bows their head when answering questions? Children do, when they KNOW they've been naughty, like took the extra cookie. Shame brings the head to a bow. Watch her interview again.

Out of discipline she maintains eye contact, she's goooood. Well practiced. There's a reason for that. This woman is damaged beyond your comprehension. Either through illness or experience & you want her "ripped to shreds". That is beyond pathetic. 
Tiffany is articulate to the point "If you think (this) that is child abuse then you don't know what child abuse is". She's relating, she's comparing.
With a bowed head she states she thinks her daughter's internal dialog is "She probably thinks I don't like her"...GEE, YA THINK?!?
An "educated" woman putting forth the premise there are no child care books to read, then admits to not reading them. Anyone with half a brain could see the cogs clunking over. She was absorbing a great deal. She rationalized "spank"...... but confused statements when confronted with the video footage.
Dr. Phil put forth "Prima facie child abuse", watch her eyes, "That's what I'm admitting to/ that's not child abuse". One must LISTEN to people, you must watch them. "Child abuse, she happens to be a child, it's a play on words".....Tiffany is seriously damaged. "I'm not saying I'd drive around with her in the trunk, she's too big"......... Tiffany has thought this through. But she has separated herself to the point where somehow, somewhere, laying it out for all to see & the judgement that most assuredly comes. She's looking for help & you, from my American/European point of view, have no color. Your opinion of Ripping is American. There is no glory there. There is no healing there. Only shame.
Replied By: strine on Mar 11, 2013, 9:56PM
I agree that Tiffany just wants to win "my child" rather than hearing the truth. Tiffany's daughter might as well be living in a gutter with a happy mother and she'd be better off. She called it "verbal abuse" i.e. it is child abuse love.
Replied By: strine on Mar 11, 2013, 9:50PM
I took my daughter to her orthodontist today and we saw a woman outside calling her daughter a "c.nt" and yelling at her because she didn't look after her younger sister and the little one ran away from her. The woman went on to tell the little girl "You're 11 but you act like the two year old" and continued to call her names as she walked down the street. I wanted to run over there and take both of those kids home with me because I lived that as a kid- being yelled at and called useless. No way would I call my kids useless or any other name and beat them because they would think they're nothing. Those two women don't get that the way they treat their kids will make them grow up to feel like they don't deserve better or love or anything good. I hope those little kids are all helped because it seems the mothers don't really think they are doing anything wrong.
Replied By: mzroseycheeks on Mar 11, 2013, 8:40PM
I'm really frustrated by the "if you haven't raised kids you have no room to judge" argument. The hell I can't judge! Common sense tells most people that abusing your children in any way is never appropriate; you don't have to be a parent to know this. Common sense also dictates that parenting is, at best, difficult. If you're not up for the task, DON'T HAVE CHILDREN.
Replied By: mzroseycheeks on Mar 11, 2013, 8:39PM - In reply to elefino
I'm really frustrated by the "if you haven't raised kids you have no room to judge" argument. The hell I can't judge! Common sense tells most people that abusing your children in any way is never appropriate; you don't have to be a parent to know this. Common sense also dictates that parenting is, at best, difficult. If you're not up for the task, DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. It's not the child's fault they weren't ready.
Replied By: elefino on Feb 26, 2013, 7:48PM - In reply to zooey2
If this woman truly hated her child to the core, she would have BEEN dead- bottomline. She would have dropped her off somewhere a LONG time ago. Deep down I think she loves her child and trying to get help shows that in my opinion.

Some people may not have been shown love and may not know how to properly love others until someone demonstrates and teaches it to them.
Replied By: elefino on Feb 26, 2013, 7:40PM - In reply to kwilliams226
it's refreshing to see that someone else felt compassion for this woman. My heart goes out to her and her child. Instead of everyone wanting to beat up on and judge this woman, how about looking at her for what she is, a hurt woman who does recognize she needs help, reached out, and does have sorrow for how she feels. Please DO NOT misunderstand me as condoning how she behaves or treats her daughter, but instead of being ready to criticize, judge, and tear her down further. Look at what may be driving this.

There are many things that could be at the root of this situation. Even though this woman's daughter is 10 years old, the situation could be the result of untreated post-partum depression (if this has been ongoing from birth). It may be the result of years worth of depression because her comment about her mother not thinking she was good enough spoke volumes to me as to how her own mother made her feel.

I do agree that removing the child for a while until the mother is better able to control her anger and has made breakthroughs in her behavior and emotional health. Praying for both families.
Replied By: elefino on Feb 26, 2013, 7:22PM - In reply to mermaidram
No disrespect, I feel people who haven't raised children should never comment on parenting at all because they have no real life experience in that area. It's easy to talk about, comment on, speculate about things a person hasn't experienced first hand. Babysitting somone else child(ren) doesn't count either. I had a friend who freely expressed her thoughts about other people's parenting styles until I asked her what made her an expert on parenting when she hadn't raised any children. She understood soon after she had her children and non-parents freely shared their thoughts about parenting.
Replied By: estabiz on Dec 11, 2012, 6:30PM
Hi my name is Esther and I am considered a bad mother.

Why?  Because I chose to leave my child.

Why? Did I do that - because unfortuntely for her I hated her.  Yes I know it is not her fault.

The problem is I had a baby that I did not want in the first place.  I had a baby for my then husband, my father, society and religion.  It was never in my plans to have a baby.  Sorry Dr. Phil before you say to me, it was my choice, up to a point but when young and immature you do not see you have choices as when you are in the older age bracket.  

 Society tells women when they get pregeant that they will naturaly love their child.  Sorry I believe this to be a lie.  I strongly suspect I am not the only woman to feel this way.  You only need look at the children's hospital to see child who have been physically abused even by their own mothers.  I chose not to run that risk and instead gave my husband, the father full custody.  I did not trust myself with her alone.

I am well aware that people think I am a terrible person.  Unfortunately when I was a child I was moved around and raised by others and had little family stability and no contact with younger children and babies.

I hope these ladies can find peace and resolution to their problems

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