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Two moms who say they’re troubled by the hatred they often feel toward their children reach out to Dr. Phil for help. Tiffany says her 10-year-old daughter is a manipulative liar, and says, “I would be just fine if somebody took her.” Tiffany says she will oftentimes use corporal punishment as a consequence and admits to spanking her daughter until she was exhausted and telling her, “If I had a gun, I would have blown both of us away.” What’s at the root of her rage? And, can Tiffany learn to control her anger before it’s too late? Then, Karen admits that she feels resentment and anger toward her 14-year-old autistic daughter, Julia, and often thinks about running away. She says she has extreme frustration and annoyance for Julia’s “weird” and “unruly” behavior and often yells and screams hurtful things at her. Can Dr. Phil help Karen learn to care for her special needs daughter in a more patient and positive way?

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: aggiepride15 on Feb 20, 2015, 4:38PM
Parents make a choice to have children, and it is their responsibility to provide for their emotional, physical, and financial needs. Though no one is perfect, adults are also responsible for their own behavior in addition to their relationships with their life partners and children.  First and foremost, the adults have the obligation to make sure they have the life skills and tools to care for themselves first, before bringing another adult, or even a child into the relationship. If they haven't the skills, and many of us do not, then it is their duty to seek out professional counseling to sort out their personal baggage. All of us are "work in progress" and no one person can raise a child by themselves. Furthermore, both women have the choice not to have children. If  neither have the emotional reserves and fortitude to take care of themselves then they certainly have no business taking care of children. With that being said, then I offer the following opinions regarding to the two women who made the deliberate conscious choice to have children also the deliberate choice to abuse them. 

Hopefully, Tiffany's mother will employ every legal means to gain custody of her granddaughter before Tiffany kills the child. Remember, Tiffany herself admitted on air her implied and overt intent to do so.  Grandparents can get custody of their grandchildren and many states will allow this, especially in situations where the grandparents are the most stable blood relatives.  Tiffany represents a sickening trend of women who feel biologically entitled to have children and wrongly believe they have the right to abuse the child because that's their culture.  Wrong answer.  The video shows the premeditated and deliberate abuse Tiffany inflicts upon her 10 year old child. Child Protective Services within the city or stsate of Tiffany's residence should immediately intervene for the sake of the children, and local law enforcment should take this psychopath to jail.  


Karen is seeking sympathy for herself and her marriage which is not going well. She deliberately had her daughter to buffer herself from emotional pain and drudgery of a marriage on the rocks. Karen didn't realize that marriage is hard work; marriage with children is doubly difficult because it requires patience for both partners to raise chidlren.  Karen is also unhappy that her child has autism, and is not the perfect bundle of joy in which she had envisioned. She feels guilty that she didn't do something right and therefore her child didn't turn out right. However, autism is a spectrum disorder and children with autism thrive well in an loving, nurturing environment, something which Karen does not want to provide because she is using her child as a scapegoat for her personal and marital distress.  Her husband has the duty to step up to the plate and protect their daughter from this unwell woman who is selfish, immature, and does not care about the adverse impact of her actions and attitudes on her own family.  Both Karen and her husband need to work out their marital problems and honestly assess the quality of their relationsip first before moving towards dealing with their child. 

 
Replied By: laureni on Oct 20, 2014, 1:44PM
Maybe this episode is a few year's back but I just saw it in my country so I wanted to post. Also I only arrived home halfway in the show saw (Tiffany). I was shocked at first impression. However I think it is wonderful that she had the courage to admit that she has thoughts of possibly physically harming or even killing her child. She is saving her child's life by being on the show and getting help. 


However I think it sounds silly (a nicer adjective) for Tiffany to say that 
 
Replied By: anyakarenin on Jun 11, 2014, 2:18AM - In reply to mermaidram
........"are angry, bitter & rigid", wow.


"she's too good to listen to reason"??? Seriously? She's putting herself out there, publicly, for millions to scrutinize (not to mention Dr. Phil & his staff) BECAUSE she's SEARCHING for reason!

The fact you find her a stereotypical ANYTHING, is cause for great concern. Her 2 college degrees do in fact, mean 'something', which leads to your opinion as very telling. Her degrees are not the end all, HOWEVER they show focus, they show she can be educated. She's there to be scrutinized, publicly flogged & she can learn & YOU wish she had been "ripped" into? Because that would CHANGE what exactly? Put her back into secrecy, shame, oblivion?!? There, my dear, is WHY you find this a stereotype. What do you know of "The Eurocentric Way" & how "they" didn't use it. You, my dear are slamming another without premise.

Clearly no one said her mom didn't say or do anything but now you encroach upon ....."she disciplined Tiffany"....... AH! There it IS. Someone did. Someone white or someone who didn't like being "otherwise".
Dr. Phil asked her about her abuse. "I'm not going there with you" to Dr. Phil. He left it, as he should have, there was NO going there & I wept. There it was.
I saw this for the fist time today, you want her ripped into & my heart positively bled for that woman & child. She was so flawed she couldn't see it beyond...... "I need help".
God Bless Her. Your "Want" should be a matter of Great Concern. Superficial & Trite
might be words to consider in future.
Your "thinking the reason" is flawed. Tiffany will never wonder why her daughter hates her, are you for real? Are we watching the same interview?!? She won't CARE! Either they are both dead in the ground or Tiffany is relieved daughter is out of her life. She's made it very simple in her own thinking.

Tiffany was honest, honest to the point where it was clear, evident, the woman's values were flawed & she herself didn't know it, But, she showed up, she was there, something was wrong & she acknowledged it. How many people show up with the expectation they'd be ripped in to? Your opinion does ZERO service to anyone in need.
Did you watch her body language? Her head tilted forward (bowed), eyes upward when answering questions, where she KNEW she was in the wrong but always, always looking Dr. Phil in the eye. No long blink like when we spot a liar, no looking away. She never looked away. She stood her ground, she was "ok", but .......there was "something" that brought her to expose herself. Who bows their head when answering questions? Children do, when they KNOW they've been naughty, like took the extra cookie. Shame brings the head to a bow. Watch her interview again.

Out of discipline she maintains eye contact, she's goooood. Well practiced. There's a reason for that. This woman is damaged beyond your comprehension. Either through illness or experience & you want her "ripped to shreds". That is beyond pathetic. 
Tiffany is articulate to the point "If you think (this) that is child abuse then you don't know what child abuse is". She's relating, she's comparing.
With a bowed head she states she thinks her daughter's internal dialog is "She probably thinks I don't like her"...GEE, YA THINK?!?
An "educated" woman putting forth the premise there are no child care books to read, then admits to not reading them. Anyone with half a brain could see the cogs clunking over. She was absorbing a great deal. She rationalized "spank"...... but confused statements when confronted with the video footage.
Dr. Phil put forth "Prima facie child abuse", watch her eyes, "That's what I'm admitting to/ that's not child abuse". One must LISTEN to people, you must watch them. "Child abuse, she happens to be a child, it's a play on words".....Tiffany is seriously damaged. "I'm not saying I'd drive around with her in the trunk, she's too big"......... Tiffany has thought this through. But she has separated herself to the point where somehow, somewhere, laying it out for all to see & the judgement that most assuredly comes. She's looking for help & you, from my American/European point of view, have no color. Your opinion of Ripping is American. There is no glory there. There is no healing there. Only shame.
 
Replied By: strine on Mar 11, 2013, 9:56PM
I agree that Tiffany just wants to win "my child" rather than hearing the truth. Tiffany's daughter might as well be living in a gutter with a happy mother and she'd be better off. She called it "verbal abuse" i.e. it is child abuse love.
 
Replied By: strine on Mar 11, 2013, 9:50PM
I took my daughter to her orthodontist today and we saw a woman outside calling her daughter a "c.nt" and yelling at her because she didn't look after her younger sister and the little one ran away from her. The woman went on to tell the little girl "You're 11 but you act like the two year old" and continued to call her names as she walked down the street. I wanted to run over there and take both of those kids home with me because I lived that as a kid- being yelled at and called useless. No way would I call my kids useless or any other name and beat them because they would think they're nothing. Those two women don't get that the way they treat their kids will make them grow up to feel like they don't deserve better or love or anything good. I hope those little kids are all helped because it seems the mothers don't really think they are doing anything wrong.
 
Replied By: mzroseycheeks on Mar 11, 2013, 8:40PM
I'm really frustrated by the "if you haven't raised kids you have no room to judge" argument. The hell I can't judge! Common sense tells most people that abusing your children in any way is never appropriate; you don't have to be a parent to know this. Common sense also dictates that parenting is, at best, difficult. If you're not up for the task, DON'T HAVE CHILDREN.
 
Replied By: mzroseycheeks on Mar 11, 2013, 8:39PM - In reply to elefino
I'm really frustrated by the "if you haven't raised kids you have no room to judge" argument. The hell I can't judge! Common sense tells most people that abusing your children in any way is never appropriate; you don't have to be a parent to know this. Common sense also dictates that parenting is, at best, difficult. If you're not up for the task, DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. It's not the child's fault they weren't ready.
 
Replied By: elefino on Feb 26, 2013, 7:48PM - In reply to zooey2
If this woman truly hated her child to the core, she would have BEEN dead- bottomline. She would have dropped her off somewhere a LONG time ago. Deep down I think she loves her child and trying to get help shows that in my opinion.

Some people may not have been shown love and may not know how to properly love others until someone demonstrates and teaches it to them.
 
Replied By: elefino on Feb 26, 2013, 7:40PM - In reply to kwilliams226
it's refreshing to see that someone else felt compassion for this woman. My heart goes out to her and her child. Instead of everyone wanting to beat up on and judge this woman, how about looking at her for what she is, a hurt woman who does recognize she needs help, reached out, and does have sorrow for how she feels. Please DO NOT misunderstand me as condoning how she behaves or treats her daughter, but instead of being ready to criticize, judge, and tear her down further. Look at what may be driving this.

There are many things that could be at the root of this situation. Even though this woman's daughter is 10 years old, the situation could be the result of untreated post-partum depression (if this has been ongoing from birth). It may be the result of years worth of depression because her comment about her mother not thinking she was good enough spoke volumes to me as to how her own mother made her feel.

I do agree that removing the child for a while until the mother is better able to control her anger and has made breakthroughs in her behavior and emotional health. Praying for both families.
 
Replied By: elefino on Feb 26, 2013, 7:22PM - In reply to mermaidram
No disrespect, I feel people who haven't raised children should never comment on parenting at all because they have no real life experience in that area. It's easy to talk about, comment on, speculate about things a person hasn't experienced first hand. Babysitting somone else child(ren) doesn't count either. I had a friend who freely expressed her thoughts about other people's parenting styles until I asked her what made her an expert on parenting when she hadn't raised any children. She understood soon after she had her children and non-parents freely shared their thoughts about parenting.
 
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