Gina, I felt very sad when I watched what you've been through the other day!  I told my husband about it and he was also very sad for you.  He said that your fiance had to be using a lot of force to knock your teeth out.    I've had to do a lot of my own emotional healing.  When I watched you sobbing on dr.phil yesterday I saw myself before I made some difficult changes and was very unhappy.  You seem to have some emotional scarring that is quite severe in my opinion.  I hope you know there is life on the other side.  Noone should ever make you lie about their love!  Noone who truly loves you would ever do those things to you!  I for one, think you deserve so much better!!

I am certain Gina and Jeremy love each other and will love each other to death... Meaning, one day the other will be standing over the other's grave if they do not shut this toxic relationship down.    UNLESS, they change the pre anger dance.   Dr. Phil focused alot on Jeremy's violence but i did not see where he said to Gina, stop what you are doing that leads you down this dark path.   She said she pushes Jeremy's button until he snaps and goes balistic.   Jeremy's behavior,  not acceptable at all.     Gina's history of past rape as a child is very vivid for her.   Why would Jeremy  force himself on her knowing this.  Horrible.  He should take responsiblity for this and ask her for forgiveness. He has to mean it and feel empathy for her.  Otherwise it is just words and a waste of oxygen.    Marriage is not an okay for Sex on demand.   I feel she has to deal with this huge issue because it may be the trigger for her that sets off her anger dance.   Gina may think she deserves to be abused since she accepts the disguise stories that Jeremy makes up.    I would say next time, it is 911 Jeremy.    Love does not have to hurt and life is too short to live like this.

What does this have to do with the story line of abusive relationships?

Two of my sisters spent all of their married lives in abusive relationships.  One of them has an adult child who is even meaner than his father.  This now 30 something year old is rotten to the core and he learned it all at home.  
I spent 17 years of my life in a physically, mentally, and verbally abusive relationship.  
Why did the three of us end up in these types of relationships?   Because our father was an abuser.  We learned that it was normal for the man to abuse the woman.     

Your husband is teaching your small child to be an abuser.  Get out of this relationship.  It's sick...your sick...and your husband is very sick.  Don't raise your son to be sick.

I will try to summarize my own personal experience as a child of Native American ancestory and adopted through the system.  Not every Tribe has the same regulations (?) that the Cherokee Nation seems to have.  I, along with my two older sisters were put into foster care.  I was two at the time, and when I was seven years old (1963), I was adopted by a non-native family.  The Monroe County Social Services of Rochester, NY passed me off to the adopted parents as a "dark" Irish.  I always knew in my heart I was Native American Indian.  When I was 19, I spoke to the Supervisor of the Adoption Dept., who did inform me I was an American Indian.  My biological father had died 3 months before I was born, and although my mother was living on the Rez at the time of his death, she packed us up and moved us to Rochester, NY.  She was not of the Mohawk Tribe (like my father).  She was part Black Foot and Seneca.  

Tribes have their own rules as far as enrollment into the Tribe.  Some go by the mother's ancestory, others go by the father's.  It took me many years to become enrolled as a member of the Tribe.  I had to show proof to the Chief of the Mohwak Tribe of my biological background and that my father and his family were members of the Tribe.  I stand to this day with dual citizenship both of Canada and the U.S.

 
My husband and I tried to adopt through the Indian Affairs a child from the Akwesasne Mohawk Territory (where I am an enrolled member and was one of the requirements).  We completed and passed all the the home study requirements.  When it came to the next step of a child being available, we were told that Indian Affairs Bureau would not allow a child out of the Providence in which they lived.  They apparently thought it was okay for children to be having children!


My story of all that has happened could go on for hours.  I do not feel that it is right for any Tribal member to take back or try to take back a child they have relinquished.  There are too many politicians creating chaos within the Tribes as well as within the American & Canadian Governments.  Whoever these people are in my mind they do not appear to  have the best interest and well being of these children within their heart or minds. 


Thank you for taking the time to read this.  My story is quite lengthy so I will end it now before it becomes a book.


Best regards,


Cheryle








  

The adoption of the little American- Indian girl, Veronica and the Indian Welfare Act is what I'd like to comment on. The Act states the unecessary removal of the child from the tribe. As I remember it the child was not with the tribe. The BIO-MOM is Hispanic and possibly did not live on the Resevation with BIO-DAD. So at this point the tribe should have no standing in the removal of the child from the adoptive parents.Since the child did not reside on the Reservation there was no unnecessary removal and suit should be cinsidered mute. That's just one random American's opinion.

My Mother was Native American. Her tribe was Cherokee. My Father was French/Canadian/English. They divorced when i was six years old. There was four of us children. My Father's family got inovolved and took us children from my Mother. Two of us went to my Father's sister and her husband. The two younger ones went to my Father's parents. He lived with them for a few years. I was not allowed to see my Mother or her Family until i was 18yrs old. I visted my Mother in Missouri. I had to ask her what her heritage was, she told me she was Cherokee and part Choctaw. I was adopted at 13 by my Aunt and Uncle. I didn't want this adoption but, as a child you figure if you say no. Your life would be way much worse than it was. This adoption caused so much touble in my Family. Us children suffered and were caught up in the middle of this Family fight. I wish in my case that the Cherokee Nation would of stepped in and stopped this adoption. I did not know I was Native American until I met my Mother. My Father's Family kept that from us, to this day I don't know why. This part of my hertiage if very important to me. I knew way back when i was very young,  that something was missing in my life. I know now what it was. I have five children, their Fathers are Native American. They too didn't know much about their own heritage. It took me over 30 years of tracing our Family Trees which explained more to us about our heritage than our own Families did. I feel for the adopted parents, I know each case is different. If a indian child is to be adopted. I believe if the parents are not Native American, they should keep contact with the tribe and the childs family, if there is any and keep that child close to his tribe and when the child is old enough to make his own decisions..let him or her decide if they want to honor their native heritage or move on.

I am monica and am a euro canadian woman....who comes with my own biasis woven within north american culture....I do not pretend to understand the gravity of abuse our first peoples have had to endure, or the continued cultural geniside still taking place today.

Here in Canada first nations land is held in trust by the government. First nations reserves are allocated minimal money's....and one more child added to a tribe is only, if any I believe a few more dollars.

Many first nations cultures....children are raised by more than just mother and father....the community raises the child......family structure is often incredibly different in many first nations cultures, when comparted to our christian european family structures.

Often grandparents do much of the raising.....sometimes even a female second cousin.

Liniage and family structure comes from Christian Euro heritage.

Again....I do not pretend to understand or speak for every first nation person....so much of what I am saying is from my Euro-Canadian perspective on what I have read, and seminars I have taken part in.

This is a huge huge issue this young baby has fallen into...and I believe it is a great benifit for this baby to be raised by her first nations relatives.

Many first nations children benifit.....even if only thier great grand mother was aboriginal.....from being raised within the community. The land they walk, talk, live and breath has been thiers from time memorial....first nations people are our culture as north americans....

lots i do not know.....but I do know many adults suffering today because they were taken away from thier roots.....a culture so very different from our own

Dont hesitate. Get out. Its very scary but you can change your life. It took my mother 15 years, and we made her throw him out. It was messy and scary but she finally was able to take control of her life.  Please remember the kids. They would be happy to see thier mother smiling and happy and strong.  It was too late for my family because she waited too long and I have suffered all my life from not being able to trust any man. I still have very vivid nightmares and I dont feel worthy of love.  It has caused me to be alone and failed in three marrages. I try not to live in the past, but somehow, it creeps back to me.  I am posting this hoping that those who have children get the message before you screw up your kids.  I am 47 years old and when I was twenty I somehow let go of my anger towards my mother and forgave her. She passed away 15 years ago. Im sure you dont want your kids hating you for screwing up thier lives.

I am a 50 year old Native American and I wish that the Indian Child Welfare Act was in place prior to 1974. My brother was adopted by Anglo people and was mentally, emotionally and physically abused by his adoptive parents. We were reunited after 40 years of separation and it has been very hard to communicate with him because of his experience and Anglo ways of life. He has always said that he yearned his own culture. I'm disappointed in you Dr. Phil that you did not get a point of view from someone that was Native, and adopted by Anglos but wish they had not been.