when I got preganet I wasn't sure how I was going to be as a mother I knew I wouldn't hurt my child or neglect her but I wasn't sure if I would catch on to what it means to be a good mother.  I realized as soon as I looked at her for the first time I would do any thing to be a good mother band every thing just came to me. Every day I suprize my self on how easy it was to catch on even my partner tells me I am doing great.it makes me feel good to know I created her and I'm giving her the love she deserves. 


Now my goal is to look at wht my mother did wrong with me as a child and do it different. I know all mothers say that but it's true. I have hurt in my heart every day for what mistakes my mother has made. When I was in school and I started acting out and loosing my grades at a young age. My mother didn't take any action to help me and direct my in the rite direction. Something so simple like telling your child school is important can help. When I had home work my mom never asked if it was finished or if I needed help. She was always drinking with her friend across the street instead of welcoming me home from school and helping me succeed. It he less she helped the more I acted out and the worst I got. She also got worst. In high school most parents would ground you for drinking my mom would drink with me. Most parents wouldn't allow you to smoke cigarettes. She smoked with me when I was twelve and hid her smoking from my step dad. She would tell him I smoked in his car and house when really it was her. There re many simple mistakes my mom shouldn't have named that would have changed my life for the better and I am committed channeling those changes in my mound for the rest of life daughters life. I knew from the minute I looked at my daughter I knew I would protect her and help her succeed in the way my mother didn't. There is no reason for me to make the same mistakes as she did and I know I won't repeat her life. My daughters life is too important to me especially with how fast the world is moving today you have to teach your kids and keep them on there toes and keep them learning from mistakes

why Dr. Phil and Robin never adopted a child to share their lives with.  They are such good parents and obviously financially secure. I think it would be wonderful to have them adopt a child with a dying flame and
help them turn their lives around. Not one old enough to take advantage or turn their lives upside down...unless thats what they chose.....but one young enough to completely change their life chances.

I had my second child when I was 24 about 1 1/2 yrs later I found myself crying often but I couldn't understand why.  I talked to allot offriends trying to figure out what in the heck was wrong with me I was noticing I would get so frustrated with my youngest child for not doing what I told her to do.  One afternoon I picked her up and threw her from the doorway onto her bed and told her Yelling "I told you to go to your room, now you stay until I say you can come out".

  That night I couldn't sleep because of what I had done to a young child.  I was so upset, I went in her room and picked up my precious sleeping child  and held her so tender and telling her how sorry I was for taking my frustrations out on her  i told her it was not her fault and promised I would never do that again.  

  A few weeks later it was mothers day and we traveled to see my mother. As soon as I walked in the house my mother took one look at me and pulled me into another room and asked me what is wrong. I started crying and told her I had no idea.  She said I know  -- you need time to yourself to care of you. 

She gave me some money to take my kids to a day care in the afternoon for a couple hours 3 days a week. After that I took them to the library for story hour. 

I slowly started to feel better and those "blues" finally went away.  I think it took about 4 months before I was ready to continue to be the mother I should be.  I remember feeling so guilty taking  that time away from the children but my mother raised 10 children and I believed she knew what was going on especially because knowing somthing was wrong as soon as she looked at me.


  When my daughter went through the post pardium blues 4 months  after her baby I talked with her often and sent her money to do the same thing.  Because we lived in the west and she in the midwest I was not around her but she did sound better and she told me her husband was being more supportive.  3 months later she said she was feeling so much better she said. 

A month later I am getting a phone call from her husband who is crying profusley telling me she wants a divorce and not to come. Little did we know she had found a "friend" who was telling her she needed to divorce and take the kids and get on welfare  then she could do what she wanted.  That was what was wrong.

Needless to say, I told her husband to go home -- do not leave that house or you will not get back in -- both of you get to counseling and figure things out.   They did


The girl friend left as soon as there wasn't going to be any $ coming her way, my daughter left 300 miles away leaving the children.  I know she was still in this post-pardium depression and was just affraid to tell me she did not spend the money on the day care and to take time for herself.  I think she was too overwhelmed and needed someone to come and lead her through the steps to get better.  I am glad she didn't do anything horiffic and decided to leave before something bad happened.

So take my advice and do not take those "blue" feelings lightly.  You have to do something as soon as you or someone else sees the change in you.  It takes time for your body and harmones to get back to where they need to be.  Some times just a simople saliva test is all you need to see where your harmones are and if needed suppliments or harmone cream for a short while can do wonders for you and your family.  TRUST  ME!  Be KIND and take care!
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Hi in desperation I have resorted to seeking help. I am more or less a single Mum, my partner works away and I am divorced (father in Germany but have regular contact- so all good there) but I have a 16 yr old son who is an elite golfer hoping to become the next World Nr 1. I think ambition is good so we are working hard at it. Anyhow, I will try to be concise, family is happy, healthy, providing and no drinking or drugs, Our problem is the internet and the friends. He has got in with the wrong crowd or gets in with ..it is ongoing. We have lived in Australia, Sunshine Coast for the past three years and I am appalled at the number of tattooed pierced scruffy looking youths walking around. Girls get pregnant at 17. Boys leave school to become?? our son has huge potential, I quote his Coach and followers in the Golf World, to become a World Class Golfer. If only...yes the fight with the social scene. Years ago the mobile he had saved hard for was removed handed back. Removed , handed back....and so forth...why? Because of the sex messages, the Pron movies and the rest. I tried to talk to him about the addiction of such and I thought he had got the message. Teens know how to talk the talk though. Mobile removed permanently now. Next, Facebook. Damaging to a lifelong Profile you create yourself so no one else is responsible. Removed due to foul language, sexting and half naked photos. He is clever though as well as defiant and re entered under a differnt identity. Suspicions confirmed and we questioned this, he did not deny it. We agreed half an hour each day for decent contacts, and usage but not in the bedroom. Boundary overstepped and is now during homework time sneak looks and chats so homework takes 4 hrs and not 2! There I was being sympathetic at him working so hard. Screen minimised whenever I walked in the kitchen so was unaware. He said he was chatting re his homework when questioned. The langauge is foul , the suggestions and comments are indicating a lot more goes on than I am aware of. When I ask why he came home late it was due to extra work, or he walked a girl home, of course I was angry as I had waited to take him to training. His golf is therefore now lacking and he devotes less time to it. Might I add, he was given the choice and we said we would support him but it would be a team effort and with no arguing. We moved here from Dubai where he was spotted and in the short space of time we have been here he has been spotted again. He is on various squads and teams in the hope he will be a Golf Professional one day. Our (my) part in all of this is to drive him to training, tournaments sometimes 4 hrs away, and pay for all his expenses until he is able to pay for himself. It was an absolute pleasure watching him succeed, but it is heartbreaking to see him being lured into the depths of despair. So I talk and he sees reason, if only for a day. We hope that he will listen to Dr Phil and have cried for help. We are desperate...I am at the end of my tether. HIs last attempt at going to a party where he swore no alcohol and I picked up all of his friends and drove them there,resulted in me finding out at a later date that the party had been raided. Police sent them home. The girls' parents hosted teh party and allowed the alcohol! I recognised he was drunk and drove all over looking for a Police breatheliser as he claimed he had not been drinking, he lies incessantly, and finding no Police drove home to cry, my trust was broken once again. He now claims I do not allow anythiing. I alllow so much already and am told I am a good mother, but my self questioning and doubts has led me to believe this is not the case and I have given up. Therefore ask for help as I have tried but failed

I'm a new mom of a beautiful three-month-old boy, Jacob. How I feel today, when compared to how I felt the first few weeks home with him is COMPLETELY different. In those first few weeks I was absolutely terrified. Some days I just didn't want to get up and take care of him. I did of course, but not with the loving, nuturing feelings that a mother should have... or should she? I called a nurse at telehealth to talk about my feelings. I was scared that I might be suffering from post-partum depression. She asked me a huge list of questions and then explained to me that what I was experiencing was "baby blues". She was so helpful and informative. In layman's terms she explained that new mothers have a HUGE shift in hormones the minute the placenta is removed from her. This can make you feel extremely down and of course, not have room for those lovey feelings you're supposed to get the moment your baby enters the world shrieking. I'm so happy I called a nurse and spoke out loud about my feelings. I just wish more women I know who have been through this part would have warned me. All the new mothers I knew seemed so put together and perfect. It makes me wonder if they ever suffered the way I did. And if they did, why didn't they tell me or talk to me about it. I guess when I think about my own feelings those first few weeks - shame and guilt for not being the perfect mom right away - I can see why most new moms don't like sharing that part of motherhood. Well I'm sharing it. If you're a new mother, and you're feeling down, anxious, guilty, sad, terrified - it's NORMAL. You're doing a wonderful job. In the meantime, when you're feeling down, call a friend or your mother to talk about your feelings. Don't be ashamed. If it turns out that you're suffering from post-partum depression, it's NOTHING to be ashamed of. It's your hormones out of wack. It's better to find out and be treated, then let it progress, right? Healthy mommy equals healthy baby. That's all I have to say. :)

My "Mom Revilation", When I was young I felt, "why can't you see me, why can't you hear me, why don't you care about me?" I am an adult now and have raised 2 daughters of my own. What I know now is the answer to these questions.... My mother was struggling to survive too. Yes, I was raised in an atmosphere of every kind of abuse you can list, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. Sadly my mother died filled with her own shame & guilt, never knowing peace. I do have my struggles, I made choices that hurt my daughters too, but I learned that my daughters would gain more from me if I could humble myself and say to them, "I was wrong, please forgive me". I became a better mother when I was able to forgive my mother. Forgiving my mother doesn't mean that I agree with the choices she made, or that they were okay, it just meant that I was ready to move on from the hurt of my childhood into the joy my adulthood had waiting for me.

I thought I was doing everything right. Our 6 children were going to school, involved in sports, and doing well. We have a blended family that suffered through many losses but prospered as well. Twenty months ago, our oldest son committed suicide. I reiterate, I thought I was doing everything right. We struggle now just to wrap our mind around his decision. I am his step mom and my heart aches so much, some days I can't stand it. I say prayers everyday for his mom, wife and especially his children. But it's too late now. Can't help him. Can't fix it. Being a mom is more than providing food and shelter. Listen. Then listen again. And when you're really sick of listening? Do it again. That's all I have to say.