2012 Shows

On July 28, 2012, Jonathan, 22, told authorities that his father, Raymond, 48, disappeared into the choppy waters of New York’s Jones Beach. In the days that followed, police launched a massive search and rescue mission, but failed to recover Raymond’s body. While his grieving family mourned his death and his wife says she planned his funeral, police received shocking news: Raymond was very much alive and living at his Florida timeshare. Authorities allege that Raymond, who was recently unemployed and said to be unhappy in his marriage, conspired with Jonathan to fake his own death to share a $400,000 insurance payout -- and they say they have the e-mails to prove it. Facing multiple felony charges, Jonathan, alongside his attorney, shares his side of the story. Did he act in concert with Raymond -- or is something more sinister at play? What’s Jonathan's relationship with his father now? And can his family forgive him for the deception? Then, Raymond’s lawyer, Brian Davis, shares the secret to their defense. Could a childhood accident be to blame? Tune in and decide for yourself -- whom do you believe?

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: brittkamper on Apr 11, 2013, 10:25AM
When you look at the stockholm syndroom there are some equations  excuse my english im from Holland

If you look at what it says by conditions of stockholm syndrome you see this

There are a number of conditions that must be met before the Stockholm Syndrome actually occurs. In the first place, there is often threat, real or not, the victim is afraid that the perpetrator will execute the threat effectively. The victim feels, rightly or wrongly, intimidated. In addition, the offender also in many small ways nice to his / her victim, making the victim feel that it is not all that bad. Importantly, the victims are often isolated from their surroundings, making them even come in contact with the person who abused them and therefore not open to other opinions and ways of thinking. Often, the victims also feel that they can not escape.

( this is a tranlation so i hope its all right)

I myselfs come from a abusive relationship . I was verry scared at age 13 till 16 and after all the

beating and threats ( beliefe me i did stand up for myself , but i would always lose  . i was not strong enough ) I try t breaking a way a couple of times and got stabed at the end  . He had a hold on me  he abused me  mentally and not physically ) It has been a long road  , but i am  a happy positive  33 year "old"lady now . I refuse to stay  victum of anybody of my past . Im bigger then them and i dont mean it arogant , but  i dont belong in there world  . Karma is real  and they know that now .

anyway :)

So what if the guy DID drink a beer with his father or was "buddy/ buddy s " with him somethimes

or had some laughs . I felt trapt TOO even if i could go home to my mother in the evening. Trapt by the threats ( he said he would kill my familly or me if i would talk about the abuse etc)

I was really afraid . Now like the stockholm syndrome  I was  reliefed to see when he was in a good mood , because my day would be less of a nightmare .maybe he wont call you worthless for a little bit or kick , beat  or punch your lights out today. So after a while you walk on your toes and try to make him confertable , do things for him and be nice . You put on a mask to survive and after it almost becomes almost normal to try 2 survive like that . I can understand jonathan doesnt totally looks innocent , because the guilt does eat on you . you feel like you did somethign from , but at the same

time he needs a realitycheck as soon as possible that it isnt his foult , because only then he can heal  and thats a long road  Some people around him want

to see him "hang ". Theres not a lot left of his selfasureance etc etc so it must be a verry ruff on him .

No abuse is abuse...

Good luck  Jonathan
Replied By: lropchock on Sep 20, 2012, 2:56PM - In reply to dianepue
Replied By: lropchock on Sep 20, 2012, 2:55PM - In reply to joymcquiston
Replied By: dianepue on Sep 20, 2012, 1:58PM - In reply to mithyka
Not to sound harsh and I certainly do not understand or know all of your family dynamic from the one paragraph you have written, but what comes to my mind is that you know you have some blame in why your daughter turned so angry against you, and you have apologized repeatedly and you have tried your very best to listen to her and understand her and work things out with her?  If all of that is true, and you are making yourself sick at this point from prolonged grief and stress over her......I would cut the cord for awhile with her.  If I were her mother, I would raise the bar as to how she behaves toward me and let her know that once again, you are sorry and want to make ammends, but at this point SHE is not ready and willing, so you will respect her and let her go for now.  When and if she wants a healthier, and RESPECTFUL and adult relationship with you, then you will be there for her.  The way it is sounds is so unhappy and as though you are feeding into some sort of "revenge-bitterness" control issue she has going with you and she isnt about to let it go, but every time you make a nice, kind effort, it feeds into her issues with you and she goes off on you inappropriately.  If this is the case.....allow her space and time and tell her !  Then relax about it!  If you havent listened to her to the point of where she feels heard about what you did or did not do to her when she was younger.....that is a whole other situation that YOU need to deal with on your end.   Good luck to you!!!!!
Replied By: joymcquiston on Sep 20, 2012, 11:09AM - In reply to joymcquiston
I feel I need to add an important comment(s) to validate, or justify my reasons already mentioned below in a previous entry.  The topic line reads "Dr. Phil - I Beg To Differ."  Maybe this comment or two I am about to share might help others to understand the gravity of the meaning intended.

With regard to whether an adult who was harshly abused as a child by their parent(s), and the same abuse also continued in that abused child's adulthood , it should not be expected for all who were abused by parent(s) to want to "fix" the relationship, or just plain forgive for a clear conscience. 

When a person is abused as a child, and as an adult, by their own parent(s), more than likely the abused person looks at life differently than a person who was raised in a supportive, loving family.  This is not to say that the abused person should remain a victim, or blame others for their own mistakes in life.  It is not to say that the abused child/adult should keep hatred in their heart, or be burdended in any way negative from the mal-treatment the abused child/adult received.  I just needed to reiterate this as it is important. 

Another important reason to extend this message is that if a child, and then later as an adult, who has been abused by their own parent(s), they usually feel strongly to have little or no control in any aspect of their life.  They never had any control in childhood, and then again as an adult with respect to their parent(s).  When a child or adult is beaten severely with objects, ripped apart by parents who taunt and make fun of them, told they are not loved and never were, or just endured the constant verbal abuse, that abused human being must learn what control means, and how to apply it to the remainder of their life.   When one is told by a professional that it would be for their own good to forgive and mend the relationship, it is like a slap in the face, and it also seems like abuse once again.  The abused child/adult is once again asked to give up their control to make it possible to survive in that same abusive and unhealthy relationship, or environment, with abusive parent(s). 

Since I spent many years working on bettering myself to survive in this complex world, and especially without the love and support of a family, I am not about to give up anything that is positive and healthy I have worked years to acquire...and this certainly includes the concept of "control."  I am in control of myself when I determine my own decision on how I wish to proceed in life, especially when it comes to the decision to remain with toxic, hateful, hurtful and non-loving "family" or to get far away and stay away for the chance of having a well-deserved wonderful and loving remainder of my life.  Please remember Dr. Phil that not all abusive parents, or family, are wanting to become better or heal themselves, while hoping to save a relationship.  I believe it is imperative that is should remain the abused person's choice, and not to be told by a professional or anyone else for that matter, how they should "feel" or proceed with the remainder of their life.  I hope this helps to explain why I am so adament about this subject.  I pray you will understand my meaning on this topic.
Replied By: neshanaynay on Sep 20, 2012, 7:54AM
There is a lifetime movie similar. The man used the ocean to fake his death and involved his son. It went on for 14 years. It is call Long Lost Son.
Replied By: bzywmn on Sep 19, 2012, 9:30PM
Todays show was a repeat of the Soccer Mom Madam.  Don't know how our area got a different show.  The faking death was scheduled but did not come on.  Then the ads for next week are a repeat of this weeks shows ???What's going on.  I certainly do not want to watch Dina again.  Total train wreck !!
Replied By: madddiez on Sep 19, 2012, 8:23PM
Really, that was a terrible mistake. Jones Beach is the Atlantic Ocean on the south side of Long Island. The Long Island Sound is the body of water that seperates Long Island and Connecticut. Connecticut is just north of Long Island. Really embarrassing. More embarrassing than that interview with Dina Lohan.
Replied By: happinesshunt on Sep 19, 2012, 7:31PM
I am surprise at Dr. Phil’s approach on the show about child abuse and how the dynamic drags into in adulthood.

On the first case, it is extremely difficult for a child that has been abused to refuse ANYTHING requested by a parent. That’s because the thought of being rejected in unbearable and a constant threat. This may seem as a contradiction – why would anyone being abused be afraid of being rejected by the abuser? The answer is quite simple: we need to believe that our parents love us, no matter what. The realization that a parent is a horribly selfish, and couldn’t care less about you, can result in real emotional collapse.

That fear remains intact throughout adulthood. Time stops – you never quit longing for that love we unconsciously believe we once had (early childhood). That’s why the young man helped his father. I bet that it never even crossed his mind that he had the option to refuse to participate.

The second case was painful to watch. My two cents: the mother is incapable of empathy – she knows that there’s something wrong with her, so she develops extraordinary manipulative skills to hide her true self when she is out in the world. But she can be herself at home - and whenever she feels bad about something, she releases her stress by abusing the easiest prey (her children). It’s important to understand that the mother will justify her doings to herself – that’s why she feels no guilt (and never will).  The children will endure mood swings, will take the beatings, accept the demeaning and hurtful words as true statements etc. One of the children will be the first to realize that something is not right – she will rebel. The mother threatens to reject the child. The mother finally rejects the child. The sibling learns that the consequence for not being in absolute agreement with the mother is to be ostracized. To ease the pain and fear, the brain blocks the memories of abuse – and the sibling now believe that her mother is wonderful. This continues thru adulthood – mostly unnoticed by the conscious mind.

The worst thing you can do to someone who has been thru abuse is to question the validity of their claim. I was disappointed with Dr. Phil today.

I want to say to whoever has been thru abuse and has been isolated from their families by a manipulative parent – Dr. Phil was wrong on this show. You can be happy and live a meaningful life even if you stop the abuse by cutting all ties with the abuser. There is a lot of loving and caring people out there. You deserve better. Now that you are an adult – you have a choice and you can tell the truth – even if they don’t believe you. Or you can just walk always. No more lies.
Replied By: dianepue on Sep 19, 2012, 7:03PM - In reply to kcorr51
To have been treated lime you were is inexcusable. I can never understand a persons reasoning that the abused adult child SHOULD make amends, forgive, and allow the ppl who abused him/her a second chance with their grandchildren! The people who abused their children rarely, if ever, admit to the abuse, and they rarely go to therapy to get much needed help for their issues. Instead, the abused is required by all to forgive....allow their children to interact with the abusers, and to put the past behind them....when very little, if any, remorse has been shown....validation given, and healing. Why should the one who was treated worse than the family dog have to be made to feel guilt and regret if they cut off the family who has patterns of behaviors that are so degrading and inhuman? I think the best thing you could do.....and everyone who has had a "family" like this or like yours...IS to do whatever it takes to seek healing and PEACE of mind and some happiness. Stress free! I am sorry you went thru terrible times, but I am happy for you that you are now safe and away from all the games!
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