Sign up for the Dr. Phil Newsletter
Twitter Facebook YouTube


Whether you're looking for Mr. Right or new to the dating scene, dating has challenges. Are you having difficulty finding “the one” for you? Have you tried online dating? Is your relationship on the rocks because your mate won't commit? Share your stories, experiences and advice.
Replied By: tooshort79 on Sep 15, 2014, 1:11PM
I was with my boyfriend for 3 years and we just broke up a week ago. He is already not even  
2 days after we broke up dating someone else. It has been known he has been  
talking to her via text back and forth for at least a month. I did some  
snooping because i was insecure, but he said that wasn't the only reason.He told me after we broke up he was unhappy for 6 months, but couldnt tell me because he didnt want to hurt me. He  
said he needed time to be alone because he felt empty and dead inside because  
of his moms death which was 5 yrs ago. He said he felt guilty (she had ALS)  
so it wasn't his fault. But some to find out by several of his best friends  
and others that was an excuse for a way out. I was wondering if this a  
rebound and will he be back? Thank you!
Replied By: brookebaby on Aug 24, 2014, 4:15PM
I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years next month. He has told me he doesn't know whether to leave me or not because of the pain I have inflicted on him by being jealous. He is my WORLD, my rock, I know he's the one for me. But I can't seem to get over being jealous and not being able to say something about girls that he talks to that he works with. I'm DEATHLY afraid of him catching feelings for one of them and not telling me. I KNOW he would NEVER cheat on me, I know that. I'm just afraid of him finding another girl. And that's where my jealousy comes in. We both love each other very much but he just cannot stay with me if I continue down this jealous path. Being this way emotionally tears me apart. I've tried not snooping through his phone, I've tried not asking who has texted or called him, but I can never NOT say anything.. He's at the end of his rope with me, as much as he loves me, he doesn't deserve what I've put him through. I don't know how to fix this.. I cry nearly every night scared he's going to leave me while I'm getting help. But what if the help isn't enough? What if I'm still this disgusting jealous person with him? I need some kind of help... some kind of advice... or anything really....

Replied By: dream28b on Aug 17, 2014, 3:02AM
My ex and I were together almost two years. We started staying at each other's places immeadiately, really never a night apart. Once my lease was up we talked and we were both very excited to finally move in to our own place together. The whole relationship was great. We always said I love you, always kissed, sex was great and frequent. And really none of that changed, there were no changes except he just wasn't as outgoing and enthusiastic about loving me as he used to.

So I went to him to tell him I felt I needed a little more protection, affection and insight to him and his feelings. It lead to him telling me the last few months he just wasn't as happy anymore. He said he couldn't pinpoint anything on the relationship or me for why he was unhappy. He just felt different. Said was still in love with me and wanted to spend time with me but he needed to move out. He had never had those "college years" where he took care of himself and did his own thing with complete freedom because of being on probation.

So he moved out about three weeks ago, and we've stayed the same even through the break up. We lived together for two months even after the break just for him to find a place and me get things arranged. We are still the same with each other, occasionally we'll say we love each other, cuddled most mornings, the kissing went away, sex happened on occasion (with the rule of it had to have love, feelings and the fact that it was because it was me set in place).

I know he needs time to think about engagement because of his past with two divorces in his family he has commitment issues. I also know he just needs to have that time on his own, taking care of himself for the first time before he can settle down and take care of a wife. I know we can work this out but it's so hard. How can I assure him I support what he needs and also encourage coming back and it all being ok? I know we can work, he's said he never wrote me off. He just needs time. But I don't want to wait too much longer. What can I do to make him reminice and see he doesn't want to live without me, he's shown that even to himself in the past or he wouldn't have ever done all he did to be together.
Replied By: fran2014 on Aug 14, 2014, 12:56PM - In reply to fragilenbroken
The only thing I know from experience, I did not give a kiss other than a peck on the cheek on a first date (usually just a hug).  I also did not bring them to my home on the first date.  Never any sexual or suggestive acts on the first date. Not only so the "relationship" starts off well (there will be plenty of other times for deep kissing, sex, acts etc. later), but for protection--I would "vet" them first,  one doesn't know if it is a set up for theft, etc., one doesn't know if they are abusive, I try to meet or see their friends, family, work place.  I would make sure I know their last name or address if they are coming to my home/work.    It worked well for me, and I am now married in a healthy relationship.

I used to date the other way....I had to accept that sex and action didn't mean anything more.  I also got involved with men with wives/girlfriends because I focused on the wrong things while out.  By the way, if the early texting involves racy or suggestive is a clue what they are looking for and their nature/spirit.  I don't have to participate and should respect my core values.

The other side...he could have been hit by a car on the way home and is deceased...either way, time to move on....Nothing more for you to do with this one.  Try dating a "new" way...see above!
Replied By: mariana537 on Aug 12, 2014, 9:22PM
I wanted to comment on the show aired on August 12, 2014, as I can commiserate with Sebrina, since I, too, was badly scammed by not one, but several online dating scammers....fortunately, i didn't lose anywhere near as much as she did, but after watching the show, I felt compelled to comment and share my experience in this regard....I too, am a widow, over 4 yrs. now, lost my husband of 40 yrs very suddenly, became lonely and depressed, resorted to computer dating, and can thoroughly relate to Sebrina's terrible experience....all I was seeking was a good friend, maybe leading to love, but got involved in not one, but about 3 very bad scams, all originating in Africa or Egypt....very similar stories to the one I heard today, but mine were much more complex and involved....I lost close to $100,000. to these scum-buckets, my husband's life insurance left to me when he passed!  What was even worse, after I had reported my losses to the IC-3, internet FBI, nothing was done, but more scammers seem to obtain my information, trying to pose as investigators trying to recover my lost funds!  As Sebrina recounted all the love letters she received from this man, I remembered countless poems and similar letters I received online, one scammer even sent me a bogus check for over $600,000 to "hold" for him till he returned from a construction job in Cairo, plus an Islamic-styled dress, as a gift!  I received many bouquets of flowers, also quite a few teddy bears from these clowns, anything to use as "bait" to keep my attention, while they plotted their next moves!  I have recovered from my nightmare, and have moved on, after repeated attempts to recover my funds, even contacted my local FBI office, only to be told nothing can be done if the crime occurs overseas....thank God for good kids and family, and as of this day I can say that I have learned my lesson, am off the dating sites, and by the grace of God, have met a wonderful man that I've been with over 6 months!
Replied By: hrhsnowblink on Aug 10, 2014, 5:21PM - In reply to squeaky
1 relationships do not exsist in cyberspace.

2 you already have the feeling to end it; folllow your instinct.

3 you deserve better.
Replied By: hrhsnowblink on Aug 10, 2014, 5:10PM
Online, in real life, and through friends, tried it all. The problem with dating for me is everyone I "go out with" somehow wants to have sex. Sigh, going out with me does not mean I am going to kiss or hug you so do not get indignant when I offer my hand.
Replied By: squeaky on Aug 6, 2014, 3:15PM
I met a guy online and we started talking online and then started texting each other. I think he is playing me but he says no. I only see him when it is  when he wants to. He has introduced me to his daughter but says on the weekends he has her we cant see each other. He doesnt call just texts and sometimes it is   72 hours before he will text me. I have tried to tell him that I have had enough but then he gets all sad. I deserve to be treated better. Do I just stop talking all together or do I tell him its over!!!!!!!
Replied By: lrosborne310 on Aug 1, 2014, 9:45PM
I have been dating a guy ver a year now, we live together and I recently found private messages on facebook from another woman ( this isn't the first women). Is this considered cheating or am I overacting
Replied By: doglover50 on Jul 21, 2014, 7:25AM - In reply to fragilenbroken
I don't think whether you are or are not"ugly or fat" has anything to do with anything. That aside, there could be a million reasons why this man did not contact you again. Perhaps your experience was not his experience, perhaps he is  married or already has a girlfriend. Learn to find out what kind of relationship someone wants for real, before you go out with them! Then, you can make sure, before you put so much effort, time and emotional comittment in, if it's right for you. Good Luck!
Showing 1-10 of total 172 Comments