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Dating

 
Whether you're looking for Mr. Right or new to the dating scene, dating has challenges. Are you having difficulty finding “the one” for you? Have you tried online dating? Is your relationship on the rocks because your mate won't commit? Share your stories, experiences and advice.
Comments
Replied By: groomer1208 on Dec 19, 2014, 4:51PM
I dated my now ex boyfriend for about two and a half years.  He is 20 and I am 21.  About a month ago when we were sitting at home, I brought up the fact that he always says he likes to come home and have a few drinks. This makes me uncomfortable because for one thing he is under 21 and I also worry about the future because I have had alcoholics in my family and I do not wish to be with one but he always says he can control it.  Anyway, when I brought it up it just spiraled downward from there.  He said he needed time and space to think and that for the most part he was happy but there were times when he wasn't.  Up until this particular day everything had been fine he had actually just brought home flowers for me on one of our anniversary's and had text-ed me about a week before all of this just to say I love you because he knows how happy it makes me.  He ended up leaving my house with some of his stuff and I then went by his and took some of my stuff. Now, when we had had fights in the past, we were ALWAYS able to work things out and we had never actually broken up.  Because of this, I had called him the following day which he did not answer to and then I texted him asking if we could talk.  He said the same thing.  That he needed time and space to think.  I asked him if we still had a chance and he said yes and that if we could just keep our facebook status as it is complicated and he agreed.  I did not contact him throughout the following week.  The next sunday (6 days after the "Break") he accidentally texted my mom saying "good night baby (:" which I know was not meant for me.  In fact I know exactly who it was for because I had seen a snapchat of him with this girl that we had both been friends with.  At the time, i did not think anything of it because he was also friends with her.  I confronted him about it on Monday and asked what the heck we were and he said we were indeed broken up.  When I asked what was going on with this girl he said thats how she talks to everyone and thats how he just responded back but for whatever reason I left out the other text messages he had sent my mom which were "i never meant to meet anyone else and I do not even know if it is going anywhere".  I took his excuse and left with it. Although I did contact him again asking if we could do a reconvenment period and he agreed to it. I of course overthink everything and thought he only agreed to apease me so I asked him and he then blocked my number. He then told my friend who went and told me that he no longer wanted to do the reconvenement thing. On Thanksgiving though I saw a picture his aunt had posted on Instagram of the dinner table with him and this girl there as well.  I had a mental breakdown.  I could not believe that only after a few weeks he had brought this girl around to thanksgiving and his family.  I started to believe that maybe he had actually cheated on me! After I sought some professional help I went back to work and THE DAY i went back my work got a phone call from this girls mother asking what kind of dog food I had been feeding the dog my ex and I owned together.  I was so pissed I went to confront him and work and called him the biggest piece of scum I have ever met and told him that as far as I was concerned he cheated on me.  After I left, I called him from my mothers phone (he blocked mine) and asked why the heck he would do that to me and he said he had nothing to do with it.  When I asked him how he could so quickly move on after everything that we had he just said "i guess I move on quick" which i called BS on.  He told me never to contact him again and hung up on me. His mother then called asking if I could tell her what happened and I did she said that if I wanted money back for the dog they would do that. However, she went and told her husband that i THREATENED to come and take the dog so now the father contacted my father saying that if I tried to take the dog they would call the police.  And let me clarify by saying that I NEVER THREATENED TO TAKE THE DOG. The mother is a compulsive liar and told her family that (We never really got along).  The husband also said that I need to stop contacting him (which at that point I had not been) and to stop contacting his friends (which I was not).  I do not know what to think about any of it.  The reason I have such a hard time believing all of this is becasuse the girl he is now sleeping with (he specifically said they are not dating just sleeping together) was the girl he used to call crazy and insane.  She has cheated on every guy she has dated and even told My ex's best friend (who she has slept with) that she wants to have his children. The one reason I find it hard to believe that he cheated on me was because the girl he was with before me did exactly that to him and he had to seek professional help because of it. I was never afraid of him cheating on me for that reason. I am also so heartbroken about everything because he told me that he could see himself marrying me and he used to call the dog and I "his little family".  He would tell me that he needs someone like me in his life to keep his head on straight and when I would question if we are good for each other (which i did because we had many differences) he would always say yes of course we are.  I do not know whether to think he is going through a phase because he is only 20 where he wants to experience other things or not.  Honestly, im ok with that fact that he wants to expiereince other thnigs because I had had the same thoughts but the way he went about it hurt so much.  I need others insights on this.  From what I have said, do you think he is just going through a phase and he will be back or do you think he just did not have feelings for me anymore? Although I have come to realize I will probably be better off without him I sill miss him and love him? We always did have fun together.

 Advice or words of wisdom would be much appreciated!

Thanks   
 
Replied By: clydeebundy on Dec 10, 2014, 9:53PM
 
I found your Show interesting. Bob and I met Aug 22, 2009. We are 18 years apart, but it was love at first sight. I was still married and was in Reno trying to see if the climate would be better for me after my lungs were damaged by hantavirus in 2007. I had to return to PA and settle things there before moving to Reno with Bob in Feb 2010. We have had our struggles, but Bob has been by my side through divorce and 2 surgeries as well as other medical problems. Bob will turn 66 soon and I'm 47. We couldn't be happier.
 
Replied By: femdrac on Dec 10, 2014, 6:40PM
My husband is 18 yrs younger than me.  We met accidentally 14 years ago.  We were married 2 1/2 years ago.  We met at a crossroad in each of our lives.  I was married 28 years to my high school sweetheart prior to him passing away on Father's Day 2000.  My (now) husband was finally out of a horrible marriage of only 3 years.  We did the dinner, movie, concert scene.  It was about 4 months into the relationship before I even went to his home.  We just 'clicked' and one Christmas morning he asked me to marry him.  I don't think either one of us initially thought we would ever get married again.  We have areas where we are very different but we compliment each other in those areas.  I can't tell you why it works....it just does.  I am presently 60 and he is 42.  He is althetic and loves to run and he keeps me feeling young. I even go to a kickboxing class twice a week. I am on no medication what so ever which my doctor probably isn't happy about.  :-)   I can't wait to see what our future holds.
 
Replied By: lindadford on Dec 10, 2014, 5:01PM
I've been happily married to my husband who is 16 years older than I for 21 years.  Do we have sex.  Nope not for wanting.  He developed cancer and now has issues.  Would I leave him because of this and find someone younger near my age.  Of course not.  There is more to love than whats down south.  I can't beleive some of these "friends" who think they are wasting their time.  We have been together for 24 years and I have no intentions of going anywhere nor have I ever thought of going anywhere.
 
Replied By: rissajergon on Dec 8, 2014, 5:04PM - In reply to lalarose
Call the police, get an attorney, and stop cheating until you're divorced. I don't know if I believe this story. Who would let someone control her this way?
 
Replied By: rissajergon on Dec 8, 2014, 4:59PM - In reply to ab_trish_ca
Maybe he thinks you'd be more attractive if you fit society's idea of beauty. Sounds like you need to lose some weight if he thinks you could lose 100 pounds. Maybe he's worried of committing then you gaining more weight, and you start developing obesity related issues. You know that you need to be healthier than this. 
 
Replied By: rissajergon on Dec 8, 2014, 4:37PM - In reply to jacklyalltrade
Your family is worried that he's not over his ex-girlfriend? You must not have mentioned that sex offender thing to them. You have no alarms going off? I get the whole blended family idea and think that's a new normal, but not with a sex offender involved. Your self esteem is so low that you think this is a good match for you? You need to talk this out with a trusted family friend or counselor.
 
Replied By: aduk1983 on Dec 5, 2014, 9:19AM
Hi,

I put myself on a UK based online dating site back in March 2014.

I started seeing a girl off the website, we met up for a few months, after asking "when can I see you again" she said I cannot, and that she only sees me as a friend, she said I have all the potential as a partner, however there is not that chemistry/connection/spark. 

We spoke on and off as friends, via the phone. back in September (like an idiot), I told her how I felt about her, she said and I quote "I have wondered if I made the right decision saying no to you, and would I regret it no progressing with you". We decided to re-connect to see if things can go forward, I met her for coffee, then after I took her to Stratford Upon-Avon (Shakespeare's home) and spent the afternoon/early evening together, we met a week later for dinner and the day after she decided it cannot further, and that there isn't that chemistry. 

If I am honest, I like her (a lot) and I agreed to keep in touch with her as friends (however, I do feel strongly about her), she has told me I have all the main aspects of being a partner. I have gained a lot of weight since my divorce 2 years ago, I used to be into fitness and competed in kickboxing tournaments all over England and Europe. I honestly believe if I did not have excess weight on me, this girl would have been mine, or would she ? 

My question is, what do I do (apart from shift the weight, for my own reasons) ?

My self esteem has hit a low, not just due to this particular instance but because of my failed marriage and relationships since then.


Many thanks


AD.



 
Replied By: joel_mac on Nov 24, 2014, 11:33PM
I m a straight man, and a few years ago, my freshman year of college, a guy who everyone considers popular and attractive sexually assaulted me. I was devastated and I felt it ruined my life, and I was very offended. But it always secretly felt so good that someone wanted me so bad and was so attracted to me that he couldn t help himself.
 
Replied By: groomer1208 on Nov 23, 2014, 10:29PM
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 1/2 years.  We have had are issues in the past for example I used to get very easily jealous but I over came that becuase that is not how I wanted to be.  We have always been able to work out our issues and come back stornger than ever.  Nothing has really changed recently.  He would bring me flowers just because and he would text me "i love you" because he knew how happy it made me when I saw it at work.  The only issue we really have is that I am a bit controlling which I want to change about myself and that he likes to drink.  He does not drink heavily just maybe on fridays or saturdays but I am not comfortable with it beccause addiction runs in my family and I have had people in my family personaly affected because of alcohol so when he drinks I get worried and controlling.  One week ago he decided to have a drink because he had a rough week.  Of course I said something tohim about it but left it at that.  the next day I decided to talk to him about it and becaue I have always believed that communication is one of the most important things in a relationship.  It ended up turning into him saying he wants a break.  He has told me he still loves me and that there may be a chance for us in the future.  I have asked him what I am supposed to say to people and he says that we are together but on a break.  the night of the incident however he told me as of right now its over. I do not know what to do.  I still love him and want to be with him after this because I know that he is a great guy but i do not know what he wants.  He says he needs space and time to thing and I should add he has been very stressed lately (work and graduating college although he now doesnt know if its what he wants to do) and I have been trying to give him his space but I only contacted him the first two days after the incident.  I just want to talk to him and ask him what is really going on but I want to give him his space.  My family tells me to just move on but its not that easy.

Please help
 
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