Dating

 
Whether you're looking for Mr. Right or new to the dating scene, dating has challenges. Are you having difficulty finding “the one” for you? Have you tried online dating? Is your relationship on the rocks because your mate won't commit? Share your stories, experiences and advice.
Comments
Replied By: grahamgood on Sep 8, 2016, 12:16PM - In reply to krasavka
I doubt there is an easy way to do this, and in my fairly limited experience of ending a very short relationship (maybe two but the other one was v. short), the woman involved did feel upset, though thankfully it was only a grief upset before they got on with their lives and met a better match as you describe. I do have a slight feeling that those trying to do the breakup "as painlessly as possible" are to some extent protecting themselves, for example they can justify their actions somewhat by saying how kindly they've tried to do it (a good friend of mine used to do this and I doubt it took away much pain from the rejected partner). My then wife carried on behind my back for about four months and kept emphasising how "the relationship wasn't working." I eventually revealed to her mother that we were splitting "but there was no one else involved I said" - she wasn't fooled as I had been and knew straight away her daughter must have found someone else (as it happens that new relationship didn't last for ever, and each of them have been or are with new partners again).
 
Replied By: grahamgood on Sep 6, 2016, 7:07AM - In reply to krasavka
I doubt there is an easy way to do this, and in my fairly limited experience of ending a very short relationship (maybe two but the other one was v. short), the woman involved did feel upset, though thankfully it was only a grief upset before they got on with their lives and met a better match as you describe. I do have a slight feeling that those trying to do the breakup "as painlessly as possible" are to some extent protecting themselves, for example they can justify their actions somewhat by saying how kindly they've tried to do it (a good friend of mine used to do this and I doubt it took away much pain from the rejected partner). My then wife carried on behind my back for about four months and kept emphasising how "the relationship wasn't working." I eventually revealed to her mother that we were splitting "but there was no one else involved I said" - she wasn't fooled as I had been and knew straight away her daughter must have found someone else (as it happens that new relationship didn't last for ever, and each of them have been or are with new partners again).
 
Replied By: chevychick98 on Aug 28, 2016, 9:12PM
So tired of trying to fit into everybody's idea of what the right girl is or right woman. I feel like I am bashing my head into a brick wall everytime I think things are going well . Cause then it hits like a hammer from out of no where I get burned , used , stepped on , put down ,  used ,  and I am so tired of all this game of love . So crazy that this keeps happening to me and I ask myself what did I ever do to deserve this  ?  How did this ever become my life  ?  I just don't understand how things feel like they are so out of control .  I feel alone even when I am not alone.  It's beyond sad .  It's just unthinkable and I don't feel I am living my life but someone else's . I keep thinking I will wake up and it's all a bad dream.  This is so far from my life then what I ever could have dreamed up and never imagined it would even be close to this .  Help get me off this carnival ride cause this is not me .  Is there any decent guys who are honest and kind and fun out there without hang ups like drinking or jobless or no car ? Please say there still out there !
 
Replied By: krasavka on Aug 17, 2016, 12:55PM
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over three years.  He is a really nice guy and has treated me well, but I have known for some time that this is not the person that I want to spend my life with.  I know that I need to end things with him, but I don't know how to do it without hurting him. He is cluless abot the fact that I am not happy. 

I have met someone else who I feel is a better match for my personality and life goals, and have gone out on a couple of dates with him behind my boyfriend's back.  I am feeling terribly guilty about this and don't know what to do.  
 
Replied By: sunshine2go on Jun 7, 2016, 10:29AM
Last night I watched the Dr. Phil episode about the three young men who were trying to have sex with as many women as possible. They all proudly stated that they were not looking for relationships, just sex. One young man said that if he sees a girl he wants and she is reluctant, he lies and suggests they will have a relationship so he can get the sex he wants and then move on. While it is great that you showed them the flip side of being responsible, they were not shown the flip side of being emotionally responsible. For a lot of women (including the "nice ones" these guys prefer to target for sex) sex is not a sport seperated from the heart and contained in the sexual organs. You guys are hurting women on a very deep level. There are women who are not connected at the heart either, so I am not suggesting this is only true of men. Anyone who is doing this needs to step back and take a good look. Aside from unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted disease, this type of behavior is deeply damaging at an emotion level.
 
Replied By: auntyk on Mar 31, 2016, 11:06PM
When I was young I was sexually assaulted.  Then several years ago I stopped late at a store on the way home and when i was in the parking lot, someone came from behind and I was pinned down on my car by a man w  a gun...Years later..and I'm single and would like to date, but part of me gets really freaked out when  a man likes me too much or gets too close. I want to get over that fear and move on with my life but dont know how? suggestions?
 
Replied By: kraftykat96 on Mar 25, 2016, 7:13PM
Hello,

I'm 19,  turning 20 this year, and I seem to have a problem with dating. I would like to find a boyfriend, but I seem to have no luck finding love. The closest I've ever gotten was a guy I meet online. We never meet because he lived in England. But it only lasted a few months. I've only been asked out by a guy I knew once but had to turn him down because I didn't return his feelings. And all I want is to find a guy who will love me unconditionally and will support me in all that I do. But I just seem to find guys who like my mind but not my body. And I just feel that because I don't have a boyfriend, I'm unattractive, or that I'm just one of the guys. I say thank because I'm a tomboy and have had a crush on a guy but only to be blocked because we were friends. ..... Will someone help me... Please.
 
Replied By: kristian71 on Feb 24, 2016, 4:51PM - In reply to elsaletitgo
Thats the best way to go,take it slow,there are so many dangers out there, both to women and also, the children,it takes the good judgement of the woman to protect both her and and her children in these circumstances. To live single or even together but at different locations is not a punishment,the least nowdays when the world is what it is.
 
Replied By: elsaletitgo on Jan 30, 2016, 8:46AM - In reply to jharrison15
Young people today delay getting married and having kids so this is not society doing this - it's your set of friends.  Mean no disrespect but what is a 23 going on 24 yr old guy doing on a Dr Phil website?  No wonder you aren't meeting anyone !!!  Get off the computer, get off this site and go to concerts, shows, play frisbee, join a pickup basketball, soccer team but go out and meet people.   Btw being in a relationship with someone is a long long way to being married.  Nothing wrong with being in a relationship and quite frankly by 24 you should have at least one under your belt.  Good luck.
 
Replied By: elsaletitgo on Jan 30, 2016, 8:41AM - In reply to bonesinadrum
I waited until my 2 kids were grown up and off to school before dating.  You need to take it slowwwwwww - think of it like training to run a 10K or like riding a bike again - it will take a while to get back into it and feel confident.  There are lots of catfishes and bad people out there so build rules for yourself - mine were no money and no naked pictures - meet only in a public place - only for coffee or something - no more time than 15-30 minutes that way if you don't like them you can leave - tell someone where you are going and when you will be back.  Google for all the information to stay safe and to protect yourself.  

I was on a dating site for about a year - went on 40-50 "coffee" dates that never became 2nd ones - dated one guy for 3 weeks but he wanted to get serious and this is a flag so I ended it - too soon for that - then I met another guy about 8 months later that I liked and we started to date - been 2 years now - we are still dating - he too has kids in college like me - we still live separately but have started to talk about after the kids are finished school and it's our time.  

It can happen but take your time.   There is no rush.  


Good luck !!!

 
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