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Dating

 
Whether you're looking for Mr. Right or new to the dating scene, dating has challenges. Are you having difficulty finding “the one” for you? Have you tried online dating? Is your relationship on the rocks because your mate won't commit? Share your stories, experiences and advice.
Comments
Replied By: elsaletitgo on Apr 25, 2015, 3:54PM - In reply to bumblebee43
You say 3 years but are you still casually dating or are you in a Capital R relationship.   Him wanting to spend all his time with the child makes complete sense, but you're not being "allowed around" seems odd to me.  After 3 years you should know the family unless the relationship is casual or just a hook-up.  Good luck.
 
Replied By: elsaletitgo on Apr 25, 2015, 3:49PM - In reply to lindsaylou1787
There's nothing to hold on to. He's not available.  Move on.
 
Replied By: misinapper on Apr 24, 2015, 12:04PM
Watching the episode aired on OWN channel 72, April 24th .....sitting in my bedroom , alone, knowing no one would hear it, still did not stop me from audibly interjecting ; " Yes! Yes! Yes! " AND fist pumping, as Dr. Phil tells a 39 year old woman , she has no business having a relationship with an 18-19 year old boy !! I am a 46 year old woman with sons in that age range and the idea of having a relationship with someone in the age range of my own kids is .....I laugh out loud thinking that even THINKING about it is wrong on so many levels. I applaud you Dr. Phil !! Thank you for standing up for morality !!!
 
Replied By: psychicbeet on Mar 29, 2015, 8:37AM - In reply to lindsaylou1787
Sometimes people back away because they know their situation will only cause pain for you. They may truly want the best for you and know they are not able to give you that.
 
Replied By: timothycar on Mar 22, 2015, 9:58AM - In reply to kellykinserh
Common sense suggests: You have nothing tying yourself to him. Send him on his way and delete his number.
 
Replied By: timothycar on Mar 22, 2015, 9:50AM - In reply to lindsaylou1787
Jealousy is hard.  It's what I'm facing now as well.  The only advice I have is to ask yourself what you are getting from this relationship and see if it's HIM specifically who is giving you what you need or if it's just having a man. I'm sure he has desirable attributes but this only a precursor to being attracted to someone. NOT a reason to date them. A relationship requires trust,  commitment and dedication to each other in all areas. You have to be able to trust he will be faithful even when living with his ex he hasn't moved on from. 


to be blunt your situation is toxic. He does not seem ready to move on as he still lives with her and even if he did she will never go away as she is the mother of his child. It CAN be done but it's going to require more than just texting each other to make it work. You need to figure out boundaries and possibly a new living arrangement for him. 




I hope I've been able to help :)



 
Replied By: lindsaylou1787 on Mar 18, 2015, 11:07PM
so i started seeing this guy back in october. he told me he just got out of a long term relationship... he lives with his ex because they have a child together and he works like crazy amount of hours to support his son and ex. i truly care about this guy and want to take care of him. we would see each other like once every three weeks and at first we'd text every day and then it went to every other day and then once every 3 days. he finally told me that he just felt like he didnt have enough time for me right now to keep being together.  but that it wasn't done for good.just right now.. do i hold onto him or let him go?
 
Replied By: bumblebee43 on Jan 11, 2015, 9:32PM
Need help on wht to think...I have been seeing a guy for almost 3 years now and everytime his kid comes in I'm not allowed around. He says he wants to spend time with her she lives in another state so he doesn't get to see her much. But the thing that bugs me is his ex comes in with his kid he says there is nothing between them and she stays with family. Should I have mixed emotions about this just need advice.
 
Replied By: all1665 on Jan 5, 2015, 5:30PM
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 2 years now and we have been living together for about 9 months... the agreement when we moved into our house was that he would find another job that would pay more so he could split the bills 50/50 with me. I have yet to see this happen. I feel like ive been lenient because he pays child support and I understand its a big deal to have a giant chunk taken out of your paycheck. Im getting to the point where 9 months seems like more than enough time to find a higher paying job. When I try to approach him he just says he isnt qualified for the jobs that are being listed. I realize it is hard to jump into a different industry but this man is very smart and capiable.  Not to mention he is wonderful to me and I love him more than I have anyone... so it really worries me that he might be taking advantage of me... it seems as if he isnt being ambitious because he is down on himself ect. I just need some advice on how to motivate him or if I really am being taken advantage of and I need to make some kind of ultimatum.  I realize that there will always be one partner that makes more..but I feel like we had an agreement and he should stick to that. Im also somewhat old fashioned. .. if its wrong for me to think this way id like some tools to not resent him in the future. 
 
Replied By: kellykinserh on Jan 3, 2015, 1:31AM
I met this guy a couple of years ago...He seemed like a great guy at first (but don't they always??) and we hit it off almost immediately. Soon after meeting him, death struck my family and took the closest person to me...The only one [it seems now] who ever REALLY cared for me. He was there for me through this, I leaned on him, and we moved in together. After a few months he started acting suspiciously. He would leave for work in the morning [only] to return maybe an hour or two later and sneak quietely up to the 2nd floor apartment we shared, barge in like he was trying to catch me doing something I shouldn't be doing! I hadn't given him any reason to mistrust me and to this day he has not caught me doing anything at all, because there's been nothing to catch me doing! 


Maybe a year into this "relationship" something (I won't go details but we'll refer to the situation as "the occurance") happened, I decided this dude is not for me, and I packed my things and left. He followed. "The occurance" had ultimately resulted in him having to move from the apartment we had shared and he put a guilt trip on me with that "I don't have anywhere else to go, I'll sleep in my car" crap. Since he had been there for me in my time of need I let him come and stay where I was staying with friends, but I made it crystal clear to him that there was no such of thing as "US" any longer. We were not going to share a bed (not even now and then, not for the night, NONE). He said that he understood, that he'd "rather be in my life as a friend than not at all," which turns out to be probably the biggest lie of them all (and there have been MANY). But as much as I hate to admit it, I needed him,  I had no one else (and still don't)...It has almost just  gotten to be too much!



Now, I am a fulltime student and I have a fulltime job as a death certificate coordinator for a funeral home. I am fairly intelligent with plenty of common sense as well as street smarts. Have more-or-less been on my own since the age of 15. At this point in my life, all I really want to do is learn all that I can, about as much as I can....better myself and once again become self-reliant and reestablished, and able to stand sturdily on my own two feet so I never again find myself in such a vulnerable state like when I met him. He gets mad after I go to work all day then have to come in and concentrate on my schoolwork rather than hanging out with him! UGH! How immature and inconsiderate is that?? 



I mean am I wrong to take this time to do one thing for myself?
 
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