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Dating

 
Whether you're looking for Mr. Right or new to the dating scene, dating has challenges. Are you having difficulty finding “the one” for you? Have you tried online dating? Is your relationship on the rocks because your mate won't commit? Share your stories, experiences and advice.
Comments
Replied By: psychicbeet on Mar 29, 2015, 8:37AM - In reply to lindsaylou1787
Sometimes people back away because they know their situation will only cause pain for you. They may truly want the best for you and know they are not able to give you that.
 
Replied By: timothycar on Mar 22, 2015, 9:58AM - In reply to kellykinserh
Common sense suggests: You have nothing tying yourself to him. Send him on his way and delete his number.
 
Replied By: timothycar on Mar 22, 2015, 9:50AM - In reply to lindsaylou1787
Jealousy is hard.  It's what I'm facing now as well.  The only advice I have is to ask yourself what you are getting from this relationship and see if it's HIM specifically who is giving you what you need or if it's just having a man. I'm sure he has desirable attributes but this only a precursor to being attracted to someone. NOT a reason to date them. A relationship requires trust,  commitment and dedication to each other in all areas. You have to be able to trust he will be faithful even when living with his ex he hasn't moved on from. 


to be blunt your situation is toxic. He does not seem ready to move on as he still lives with her and even if he did she will never go away as she is the mother of his child. It CAN be done but it's going to require more than just texting each other to make it work. You need to figure out boundaries and possibly a new living arrangement for him. 




I hope I've been able to help :)



 
Replied By: lindsaylou1787 on Mar 18, 2015, 11:07PM
so i started seeing this guy back in october. he told me he just got out of a long term relationship... he lives with his ex because they have a child together and he works like crazy amount of hours to support his son and ex. i truly care about this guy and want to take care of him. we would see each other like once every three weeks and at first we'd text every day and then it went to every other day and then once every 3 days. he finally told me that he just felt like he didnt have enough time for me right now to keep being together.  but that it wasn't done for good.just right now.. do i hold onto him or let him go?
 
Replied By: bumblebee43 on Jan 11, 2015, 9:32PM
Need help on wht to think...I have been seeing a guy for almost 3 years now and everytime his kid comes in I'm not allowed around. He says he wants to spend time with her she lives in another state so he doesn't get to see her much. But the thing that bugs me is his ex comes in with his kid he says there is nothing between them and she stays with family. Should I have mixed emotions about this just need advice.
 
Replied By: all1665 on Jan 5, 2015, 5:30PM
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 2 years now and we have been living together for about 9 months... the agreement when we moved into our house was that he would find another job that would pay more so he could split the bills 50/50 with me. I have yet to see this happen. I feel like ive been lenient because he pays child support and I understand its a big deal to have a giant chunk taken out of your paycheck. Im getting to the point where 9 months seems like more than enough time to find a higher paying job. When I try to approach him he just says he isnt qualified for the jobs that are being listed. I realize it is hard to jump into a different industry but this man is very smart and capiable.  Not to mention he is wonderful to me and I love him more than I have anyone... so it really worries me that he might be taking advantage of me... it seems as if he isnt being ambitious because he is down on himself ect. I just need some advice on how to motivate him or if I really am being taken advantage of and I need to make some kind of ultimatum.  I realize that there will always be one partner that makes more..but I feel like we had an agreement and he should stick to that. Im also somewhat old fashioned. .. if its wrong for me to think this way id like some tools to not resent him in the future. 
 
Replied By: kellykinserh on Jan 3, 2015, 1:31AM
I met this guy a couple of years ago...He seemed like a great guy at first (but don't they always??) and we hit it off almost immediately. Soon after meeting him, death struck my family and took the closest person to me...The only one [it seems now] who ever REALLY cared for me. He was there for me through this, I leaned on him, and we moved in together. After a few months he started acting suspiciously. He would leave for work in the morning [only] to return maybe an hour or two later and sneak quietely up to the 2nd floor apartment we shared, barge in like he was trying to catch me doing something I shouldn't be doing! I hadn't given him any reason to mistrust me and to this day he has not caught me doing anything at all, because there's been nothing to catch me doing! 


Maybe a year into this "relationship" something (I won't go details but we'll refer to the situation as "the occurance") happened, I decided this dude is not for me, and I packed my things and left. He followed. "The occurance" had ultimately resulted in him having to move from the apartment we had shared and he put a guilt trip on me with that "I don't have anywhere else to go, I'll sleep in my car" crap. Since he had been there for me in my time of need I let him come and stay where I was staying with friends, but I made it crystal clear to him that there was no such of thing as "US" any longer. We were not going to share a bed (not even now and then, not for the night, NONE). He said that he understood, that he'd "rather be in my life as a friend than not at all," which turns out to be probably the biggest lie of them all (and there have been MANY). But as much as I hate to admit it, I needed him,  I had no one else (and still don't)...It has almost just  gotten to be too much!



Now, I am a fulltime student and I have a fulltime job as a death certificate coordinator for a funeral home. I am fairly intelligent with plenty of common sense as well as street smarts. Have more-or-less been on my own since the age of 15. At this point in my life, all I really want to do is learn all that I can, about as much as I can....better myself and once again become self-reliant and reestablished, and able to stand sturdily on my own two feet so I never again find myself in such a vulnerable state like when I met him. He gets mad after I go to work all day then have to come in and concentrate on my schoolwork rather than hanging out with him! UGH! How immature and inconsiderate is that?? 



I mean am I wrong to take this time to do one thing for myself?
 
Replied By: peacestar on Jan 2, 2015, 5:55PM
I am trying to be a friend to a person who has been married 5 times.  3 of her husbands committed suicide.  She happens to be bipolar.  She has been communicating with a scammer for a year now.  The stories he tells her are outrageous and they have never met in person.  She has also sent him tens of thousands of dollars.  She has exhausted her income for him.  She wears a wedding ring and sent him one. 


Her family is pretty much out of the picture because of current and past drama.  I have told her many times that he is a scammer and so have other acquaintences.  She seems obsessed with him since she literally has no one else in her life.  I don't think I can continue my friendship with her either because of all the drama all the time.  I feel like she is sucking the life out of me even though she has been very helpful to me personally.  I think she lives in her dream world because otherwise she would commit suicide.  Mental health care in our area is almost non existent.  She sees a Dr to manage her meds and that's about all.


Please, any advice would be very welcome. 

 
Replied By: mcphilfan on Jan 1, 2015, 12:02PM
So I met this guy when I was 15 years old and we dated for quite sometime (at that point he did not chew tobacco) and now here we are almost 4 years later after being separated for a few years. He chews tobacco but promised me he would quit (in order to have a chance with me because all those years ago he dragged me through hell and back and I wasn't all that ready to forget). So the other day he comes home and I notice immediately that he smells like tobacco after questioning him about it he told me he had chewed tobacco that day and proceeded on to tell me I would get over it. I am going into oncology and cancer absolutely horrifies me (plus tobacco is disgusting). I would require him to quit with anything including alcohol smoking and other things that are stupid ways to ruin your health. I dont expect him to quit all of a sudden and I dont expect it to be easy for him but I do expect that he puts fourth effort and respects my feelings toward the subject. I love him to death and cried over his dumb ass every single day for about a year and a half (not to mention the endless texts and walking by him over and over in the halls... Yeah I know its crazy but he majorly screwed me over and he knows it). Anyway Id rather cry every day for the rest of my life than to sit and watch him kill himself with this crap. I wont stay if he doesnt quit (and show some respect rather than hatefully telling me that Ill get over it). I do have OCD so things that I dont have control over are what scare me most and I cant control how long he lives and his health and such but he doesnt have to do stupid things that are sure to ruin his health. Is this controling behavior? Is it ok to require this of him? I dont like being told what to do and neither does he and I understand completely its not like I tell him he has to wear this or hangout with these people or be home by 7 or dont text that girl. Like really I feel like the tobacco and the fact that he often disrespects my feelings by telling me that Ill get over it or "Well I hate it for you". Its like I can say that I dont want him to kill bugs with his hands (because gross and Im ocd as can be seriously diagnosed and on the maximum dose of Zoloft) and he goes "hate it for you its a bug hun get over it" ... Uggh irritating... I guess in short Im asking if this behavior is unreasonable or controlling?
 
Replied By: newyorkjudy on Dec 30, 2014, 10:57AM
I have a friend that contacted me about back in July about our grammar school reunion and we decided to get together or dinner one night.  I guess I should say that we are older, but youthful for our age.We are in our late 60's.  He lives in AZ about 3 hours away from where I live, so I really don't get to see him a whole lot.  He had a double lung transplant and his doctors are up my way, so when he is up this way we get together, which has been every month to every two months.  John and I first met in kindergarten, lost touch about 6th grade when I went to another school. So basically, we just reconnected about 6 months ago.  I know he had dated and recently was interested in a woman that after talking they both decided to keep it as friends. I also know he sees me as just a good friend where I on the other hand have fallen in love with him.  He has never made a pass at me and we have been alone together at my place. I don't know what to do about the situation other then go on a diet. I am overweight.  I really want to tell him so bad how I feel but don't want to lose the friendship that we share and  scare him away..  I guess my questions are since I been out of the dating scene for a while, what do I do to get him to see me as more then  a good friend and do I tell him how I feel?    Thanks for any thoughts and advice you can give me.  Judy
 
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