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Dating

 
Whether you're looking for Mr. Right or new to the dating scene, dating has challenges. Are you having difficulty finding “the one” for you? Have you tried online dating? Is your relationship on the rocks because your mate won't commit? Share your stories, experiences and advice.
Comments
Replied By: elsaletitgo on Jan 30, 2016, 8:46AM - In reply to jharrison15
Young people today delay getting married and having kids so this is not society doing this - it's your set of friends.  Mean no disrespect but what is a 23 going on 24 yr old guy doing on a Dr Phil website?  No wonder you aren't meeting anyone !!!  Get off the computer, get off this site and go to concerts, shows, play frisbee, join a pickup basketball, soccer team but go out and meet people.   Btw being in a relationship with someone is a long long way to being married.  Nothing wrong with being in a relationship and quite frankly by 24 you should have at least one under your belt.  Good luck.
 
Replied By: elsaletitgo on Jan 30, 2016, 8:41AM - In reply to bonesinadrum
I waited until my 2 kids were grown up and off to school before dating.  You need to take it slowwwwwww - think of it like training to run a 10K or like riding a bike again - it will take a while to get back into it and feel confident.  There are lots of catfishes and bad people out there so build rules for yourself - mine were no money and no naked pictures - meet only in a public place - only for coffee or something - no more time than 15-30 minutes that way if you don't like them you can leave - tell someone where you are going and when you will be back.  Google for all the information to stay safe and to protect yourself.  

I was on a dating site for about a year - went on 40-50 "coffee" dates that never became 2nd ones - dated one guy for 3 weeks but he wanted to get serious and this is a flag so I ended it - too soon for that - then I met another guy about 8 months later that I liked and we started to date - been 2 years now - we are still dating - he too has kids in college like me - we still live separately but have started to talk about after the kids are finished school and it's our time.  

It can happen but take your time.   There is no rush.  


Good luck !!!

 
Replied By: jharrison15 on Jan 21, 2016, 8:14AM
I'm Luke. What I don't understand is what has happened to our society. I'm 23 going 24. People my age and I'm sure this is all over our narion, all want to get married and have kids. What happened to going out on Saturday night and partying like its 1985? I hear those where the days. Why are people so urgent to get in a relationship? I'm not. But all I want to know, have people just got that stupid now?
 
Replied By: tysonmom22 on Jan 11, 2016, 4:24AM - In reply to lonestar76
I understand where youre coming from..I was in similar circumstances except i met him at work. He works with a correctional center and i work at hospital..He was divorced when i met him 8 years ago. We had a on again off again relationship. He claimed he was working 2 jobs and had no time for a relationship.. 2 years ago we got serious but still didnt get to see him alot due to work schedules (his and mine)..Well in April of 2015 he got married,I found out about it from some coworkers and i verified it ...i confronted him and he denied it and said he was set up..Even said the pics i saw were photoshopped..Turns out he had been seeing her for the entire time we were getting serious..Later found out she is pregnant and he told me he had had a vasectomy..To get to your question of closure--simply close it yourself. If he truly wanted you he wouldnt have lied to you and he wouldve have respected you more than he did..I did this and im sitting back watching karma handle him..I understand your wanting answers,but youre not going to get them..He probably just lie to you and disrespect you even more..Just remember Karma will handle him..Be blessed
 
Replied By: talkytalk on Dec 31, 2015, 1:59AM - In reply to sweb21
Hello,

I feel for you and understand what you are going though. Although , there comes a time when you need to have some boundaries. These people that are abusers are good at what they do. You need to stay strong and know that you are worth more than this. If you are not happy you need to do something about it. There are a lot of resources out there, you may have to get a restraining order. The most important thing is that you have a healthy support system ( someone to talk too) not to complain to but someone who can guide you to help you to make the right decisions. Dont get involved in the talking with this abuser if you really seriously dont want him in your life take the steps you need to legally. That means no talking to him at all this just causes more drama. I will keep you in prayer. I have been though this myself and you seriously wont leave until you are ready so you need to know you will see an end soon. Good Luck and God Bless ... I am so sorry you are going though this. <3
 
Replied By: sweb21 on Dec 23, 2015, 5:07PM
im with my boyfriend for almost 7 years he has no job. hes been sneaking in and out of my home for almost 3 of those years and its getting annoying. ive told him several times to get a job and stop sneaking in and out. as well as the fact that he has a child with someone else and had already been to jail for missed child support. he also recently gotten into a fight with me and gave me a black eye but said not to say it was him. ive also been supporting him and now i want nothing to do with him. i wanna move on and get on with my life. but how can i do that if im afraid he'll get mad and possibly hit me again
 
Replied By: americadaisy on Nov 19, 2015, 12:19PM
My name is Daisy and i need help i am in an unstable relationship my feelings towards him come and go and i honestly dont know how to let go of what we have i dont like hurting poeple what can i do?
 
Replied By: bonesinadrum on Oct 30, 2015, 6:41PM - In reply to lonestar76
Egg his car tomorrow!


kidding ..... but hope made you smile;-)


Be sure to meet the guy's friends as soon as you can, next time. If he's not into your meeting his friends, he's not into you for more than sleaze.
 
Replied By: bonesinadrum on Oct 30, 2015, 6:39PM
Younger two turned 18; it's time ......... maybe. I've got an invisible profile on a dating site; not making visible ...... can't find time to study profiles of people who don't shiv a git about me (not social media fan .... okay, am trying but will never do facebook, ugh). Raising them by myself was a wise decision; would not change a thing. Was tough never having one weekend to myself; maybe why didn't date haha. Am scared won't be able to be with another adult. Lived without another adult for thirty years minus few long years married; noone has ever had to help this little lady move any of her appliances. Wondering if any other moms out there waited until the kids were adults before dating and if have any advice. We were broke. No vacations. Scraped for food. Maybe I feel guilty because have time and money to spend on self now? hahahha........ bullpucky ....... there is college for those two, yet. Why am i so scared to date? Get asked out a lot. Thankyou.
 
Replied By: lonestar76 on Oct 26, 2015, 3:31PM
I met a guy on a dating site who said his wife had died 3 years ago from cancer. We hit it off on the phone and then in person soon after. He talked to me about future plans he wanted with me like marriage and more kids (he has an 8 yr old and I have one who just left for college).  For the three months we dated I did not push the topic of meeting his daughter since I, too, was so protective of my daughter when she was younger. Things seemed great until I got an email from his WIFE asking me who I am. 

He lied to me about everything including his wife's death, having had a vasectomy, and pretty much everything about himself except the fact that he does have a daughter. I offered to confront him with his wife so we could both get answers but she couldn't wait to confront him (which is understandable).  I gave her all of the information about everything trying to help because I knew she wanted answers. Now, I am left without answers and I just cannot get the closure I need to move on past this.

She said she kicked him out but last night his car was in the driveway and I couldn't help but get mad at how he was able to have his cake and eat it too, and how his wife just let it happen!  He said she was dead and yet she let him back home.

Why would a woman do this? I chose to raise my daughter alone to get out of an unfaithful relationship and was not going to stay with someone simply because I had a child with him. My daughter was 2 at the time so much more to do as a single mom than one of an 8 year old. 

What are your thoughts on this? How can I get closure?  I want to contact his wife again and let her know how I feel like she took all the information from me but hasn't given me anything in return to help with my closure.  I wish now that I had never replied to her email and just let her figure it out all herself.  At least with that I could have had my last word with this guy and maybe gotten some of my answers.

Advice? Help?  I am so lost and confused right now.


Thank you.
 
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