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Marriage

 
Have you found your soul mate and started a life together? What has been the easiest and hardest part of being married? How do you maintain the sizzle in your relationship? What are your tricks for succeeding in managing a marriage and family? Share your stories and advice for others.
Comments
Replied By: doddridge on Feb 3, 2016, 2:31PM
I've been married for 6 years, after a 9 month long-distance,  whirlwind romance.  It is the second marriage for each of us.  From the very beginning, my husband has lied to me.   About so many things.   White lies, straight-out in-my-face lies, lies by omission, relationships, finances, past life experiences, expectations, porn use, etc.  We agreed that the cornerstone of our relationship would be truth and respect.  Those were just words to him.    I have lived our marriage with those values.  Except now I am sluething all of the time because I just can't trust him.  I feel bad for spying on him.    He has never once confessed to anything.  Every dishonesty has been discovered by me.  He keeps promising to change.   I just don't believe him anymore.  His actions have left me feeling worthless and ugly.  I am fairly certain he's not had a physical affair - although he did stay out all night when we were on a romantic get-away in another city, and has no recollection of the time he was out.  He does "know" he didn't do anything immoral, because of his "moral fiber."

How do I know if this is the time he is being honest about changing?
 
Replied By: gloriamargaret on Jan 27, 2016, 6:45PM - In reply to petcaredays
I feel so sad for you.  When I first married Mike he seemed to be the same way  until I took a stand and let him know I was here as his wife but I needed girlfriends.   He, over time realized this was a way to keep our relationship healthy.   I am praying you get the time to have those moments with girlfriends or just alone times.  I was single for twelve years before marrying Mike and he could not understand how I valued my alone time or friend time until he felt safe in our relationship.  He now goes out on Thursdays and Sundays shooting at the skeet range with his friends.  He always asks me to accompany him and sometimes I do and sometimes I just need time for me.  But without a doubt...you need time for you. This is ok.  I hope and pray things get better.  LOL....I would have felt smothered by now!
 
Replied By: gloriamargaret on Jan 27, 2016, 6:35PM
Please...Can anyone give me advice?  I am married to a man who is so fearful he will lose the love of his adult  children that he has thrown me under the bus several times to keep his grown children from disowning him.  Mike and I dated twelve years before marrying so without a doubt I should know his weakness but for goodness sakes how is it possible that  his children still have so much power over him?  I love these kids but they hate me because he has really thrown me under the bus on several occasions.  Two of his three children have disowned their mother and he is scared they will do the same to him if he does not comply with their request which are to never discuss me.  It is like my husband has two lives.  The one with the children and the one with me.   This hurts so much but our life is great until I see something like tonight....I went to look for batteries and found this years Christmas Card addressed to him only as if I never existed yet we both merge our money together to give his and my grown children Money for Christmas.  My children love Mike...they do not agree with his thinking but they know he is a decent man who loves their mom.  How on earth do I continue to deal with this without hurting or is this going to be part of our life until we die?   I guess I just need coping skills.  Mike is a smart man and a retired Lt. Col from the Marine Corp and without a doubt the daughter has let me know verbally that his father married beneath him...Trailer park trash...Lol  my ex was a Special Forces E8 when he retired.  Both men should be proud of their carreers and I am proud of them both.  I just need some guidance????
 
Replied By: petcaredays on Jan 17, 2016, 4:59PM
Anyone out there married to someone who believes only you can be their friend?  My husband firmly believes that he doesn't need friends, never has.  We are retired now and spending 24/7 together, not socializing unless it's necessary.  If I want to visit with a girlfriend for a day he wants to come with me, drop me off and pick me up when I'm finished.  We live in the country and it's a long drive for visiting my city friends, or my daughter.  He is a type 'A' personality and feels that this kind of relationship is quite normal and I should feel the same way.  There is so much more to the story.  When we got together (both previously married) I thought his attention was great because my first husband was an alcoholic and never valued our time together.  When we worked I had a chance for a breather but now there is no escaping, not because I can't but because he makes me feel so guilty and insinuates some bizarre reason.  I wanted to speak with someone but can't because there is no hiding an appointment.  I'm beginning to think I'm losing it.  Comments anyone???
 
Replied By: tammiegrooms on Dec 23, 2015, 10:54PM
I've been married 33years . My marriage is unstable to the piont it's affecting me physically ,my weight has went from 99 pds to the 70's .I'm sending a link of a conversation He and I had . Every conversation we have goes this way .Adult children always in the conversations and become violent at times towards me (broke ribs black eyes ect .can't defend myself I'm one handed from a accident ) .My husband finds ways to always bring our adult kids in on it . example is how husband turned a heartfelt convo into a book that belonged to my son . ( son on video giving input and drying firing a gun ) . My question Just from the video alone .Is my marriage salvable or just call it quits .? It's literally and Physically killing me .(video link below )
https://youtu.be/4KZ4-vZ0tE0

Tammie
 
Replied By: clfadley on Nov 23, 2015, 10:17AM
My husbands mom came home from the hospital on May 22 only had a couple of weeks to live.   We were going to get married this summer anyway but when she came home Chuck asked his mom what she wanted to do or go  She said all she wanted was to see us get married.

That was on May 22  We spoke to our pastor at 10:00 PM that night.  We got married the next day Saturday May 23 at 6:30 PM  at his mom/sisters home with family there AND a Dairy Queen ice cream cake.   It was the best day ever because she was sitting up and I held her hand the whole ceremony.

She was so happy and we were too    So when I hear these girls are upset they don't get to spend thousands for a "party" is just Crazy.    It is about us  not money or parties.

I would do it all over again    It does not have to be expensive to have a great day or wedding.
 
Replied By: jeraco on Nov 3, 2015, 7:39AM
Been married for 23 years, Hardest part is the wife never seems to be happy. I have been told by her that I am a great father, provider, and person. But a awlful husband. I have gave up on any kind of sizzle in the relationship. We seem to of gone from lovers to just friends.
 
Replied By: dmanning on Oct 2, 2015, 4:08PM - In reply to kingbasem89
 The two of you alone, need to start the discussion agreeing to be honest completely with each other. If you still love each other you need to remember that a good marriage happens through making sure both of you are being fulfilled. This requires work, honesty and compromise. Anything worth having is worth working for. Respect for each other, continual communication and always say I love you as if you'll never see them again. 
 
Replied By: drynkenantruin on Sep 2, 2015, 7:31AM
Dear community,

My life has a tendency to repeat itself. That is too say the same destructive people enter & repeatedly re-enter my life until I adapt skills to properly deal with them.

Now that I am divorced, before entering a serious relationship i need to know: how to deal with the blood relative of  a significant/intimate other whose relative behaves toward him as if she IS his in love drunken prom date?

Thanks


Renee













 
Replied By: mtodd500 on Aug 31, 2015, 3:44AM
We have been married 11 years in September. It has been an awesome 11 years with my best friend.  We have been through alot as far as life. A contractor ripped us off on our house. Job loss. Insurance loss. Family tragedies.  We are strong together. We were at a wedding supporting some friends of ours.  The preacher said "Keep applying the lemon pepper to your chicken" In other words keep the spice alive. Always remember how you met and never forget that feeling.  11 years later and we are still together. Our friends who's wedding we were at? Well they divorced. We are spontaneous. We have fun and he is my best friend! I love you Brian! Sometimes we joke and say.....we litterally live off of love. :) 11 years is not long. It seems like yesterday. I love him like yesterday!
 
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