Sign up for the Dr. Phil Newsletter
Twitter Facebook YouTube


Have you found your soul mate and started a life together? What has been the easiest and hardest part of being married? How do you maintain the sizzle in your relationship? What are your tricks for succeeding in managing a marriage and family? Share your stories and advice for others.
Replied By: dr_duckbutter on Jun 12, 2015, 1:04AM
I'm going to tell you what it isn't! 

1. You can't love a car!

2. You can't love chocolate milk!

3. You can't love a dog!

4. You can't love a house!

5. You can't love money!

What is the only allowable LOVE subject!

Another Human Being.

Now! Don't subvert what the true meaning of LOVE is!

GOD! Now knows you can not claime ignorance!

Replied By: alreadyhere on Jun 11, 2015, 1:46PM - In reply to wiscbirds
No you could choose to be happy have a different attitude .. even though thing are not they way you want them to be because you have kids that will see you unhappy and that will in turn make them unhappy and thats is exactly what you do not want the kids are the priority you had them... theydidnt choose to be born.
Replied By: alreadyhere on Jun 11, 2015, 1:40PM - In reply to alholland712
Most people are not so in touch with theirself theirfore they have no value of the words I love you.....and yes that is the true meaning of love... to love someone for them the person they are not what they have or can do for you....
Replied By: alreadyhere on Jun 11, 2015, 1:36PM - In reply to sadlostwhy
Why not go to therapy and see if that will answer any questions?? Or you must see the red flags....if he was close with you before and you all have 4 kids at one point he was interested...perhaps he is just not wanting to admit to himself what is going on..and isnt wanting to tell you because he wants to keep his family together because you have kids.
Replied By: alreadyhere on Jun 11, 2015, 1:31PM - In reply to dr_duckbutter
Well I beleive that if you find the right person and date long enough first it will be easy to see the red flags......the problem is not everyone pays attention to those red flags and neither have I in the past.
Replied By: dr_duckbutter on Jun 10, 2015, 11:37PM
I read in the Huffington Post where women were starting near 80% of all divorces in the USA. Also I think I saw a segment were children could have a 20% rate of molestation when entering a new relationship. Do these women really understand gravity of this. Or are they just clueless! Or are they will go for the money.

Man I would not take those odds in Vegas!
Replied By: sadlostwhy on May 21, 2015, 11:56PM
I have been married for over 13yrs and I have 4 children. My husband is not intimate with me we have no sexual relations for over a 1ur and a half. I keep catching him looking at gay porn. I have asked his if he's gay or interest in men and he tells me no. Then tells me his brother molested him when he was young but keeps looking at gay porn. Just so Lost why me what Im suppose to do just don't know any more. I pretend its all ok in front of everyone put a smile on me face but dying inside. Help!
Replied By: alholland712 on May 4, 2015, 6:45PM
One problem I see people feel in marriages is the I love you statement. Many people say I love you because...I love you because you're beautiful or because you're smart or I love you because you are successful. That can leave your spouse feeling like what happens if my looks fade, what if I am not successful anymore, what if my inteeligence is diminished. I have a spouse and this is what I say to her on a regular basis...

I love you because I love you. It's my choice,my decision, I choose to love you not because you are smart, not because you are beautiful and not because you are kind, I love you because you are you. No matter what you have or what you do...I love you. I love you at your best and I love you at your darkest and most foul moments, I love you because I love you. I will love you as long as I choose to love. Love is a choice and in my smartest moments.. I will choose to love you forever.

This leaves non evasive thought about my motivations or intentions. It allows her to be confident in my love and in my intentions for the future.
Replied By: wiscbirds on Apr 10, 2015, 1:13PM - In reply to kristam3242
Agreeing on a religion & common faith is critical to marital success.  Especially if you raise kids...if you can't agree on which faith to raise kids in...that's a deal-breaker.  It will be nothing but discord if you proceed.

Replied By: wiscbirds on Apr 10, 2015, 12:55PM - In reply to kristam3242
I used to believe in marriage but I have changed my mind.  Don't do it.  It gets harder over the years. I am married 15 yrs this year & I wish I could get out of it. Can't afford a divorce.  I am resigned to be miserable i guess, unless my money situation somehow changes & allows me to do it.
Showing 1-10 of total 277 Comments