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Has your partner been unfaithful? Have you been the one to stray? How did you rebuild your relationship? Share your advice and get support from others.
Replied By: janet620 on Nov 15, 2015, 9:11PM
My husband and I were separated for three months.  I had moved out because of the constant fighting and he agreed we needed a break.  During that time I became involved with another man and him with another woman.  I finally realized I wanted my husband back and told him so.  He accepted me back with open arms and at first everything was wonderful.  Now, five months later, the emotional abuse is almost too much for me to handle.  Everything was great until he started constantly questioning me about what all I had done with the man I was  seeing.  I knew he was physically involved with another woman because her car was at our house all the time, night and day, so even though I wanted to ask him questions I didn't because I really didn't want details.  It only made the pain of him being with her worse.  Now the emotional abuse is awful.  I am trying to show him that I love him and I want this marriage to work but he just won't stop.  He even went so far as to sneak out to a bar to meet another woman while I was in bed one night.  I woke up and drove to the bar where I found him talking to another woman.  I was not very nice to either of them and he did leave with me.  As far as I know he hasn't talked to her again.  When I asked him why he did it he said it was "payback" for me seeing another guy while we were separated.  I told him that he had also seen another woman and I didn't know this was all about "getting even."  He constantly threatens me with divorce, calls me names, puts me down, interrogates me for details on the relationship I had; all while I say nothing about his.  This weekend I thought things were finally working out when we went away for the weekend and had a wonderful time.  Then just today he started on me again.  Why is he doing this?  Can't he see that this is only tearing us apart?  I don't want a divorce.
Replied By: sbodwinpc on Nov 5, 2015, 4:23PM
My husband had a 2.5 year affair.  This was 4 years ago.  He spent over 250,000.00 on her. Wiped out all our money.  To this day he say he will kill himself if I leave him.. We are facing financial ruin.  I have no family to call on for help.   This affair has distroyed me

Replied By: starfly_dust on Oct 28, 2015, 6:53PM
I just want to start off by saying I am amazed on how Robin was able to hold her tounge when it came to the Neanderthal jerk who think he's a bad boy. There is so many things and choice words I would say to that punk and I am amazed Robin didn't say more to that jerk than she did. I know there is no way in hell I would of been that nice to him. First off Steve isn't a bad boy! He is an idiot! He is a Neanderthal! He is the lowest piece of scum I have ever seen. I would never be attracted to him even if you said I had a choice of him or being alive! I mean I love how he says cheating is very fun if your doing it right. That right there shows the type of scum he really is! There is no way anyone should get pleasure and think cheating is fun if it's done right. Also how does he get off of saying short hair is what every guys wants? While he is sitting next to Sarah who has extremely short hair and has all these men who she been with including Gordon Ramsey as she claims.  Also I hate how delusional Sarah is by saying if the women act like mistresses their husbands wouldn't cheat. That is absoulte crap! I am married and I have always made sure to make my marriage always fresh wether it be in the bedroom and keeping the spice in there or how I look. I mean I was intament with my husband more than most newlyweds and he still stepped out on me many many MANY times as I would find out! I also have never let myself go in appearance since I have been with my husband. We have a two year old son and if anything I look better now than before. Also for her to say she helps the marriage that is so further than the truth! How does my husband be a better father to my son and a husband to me when in the end it makes me not trust him or my son will find me crying because of the fact my husband was cheating on me. I don't understand how the distrust and agony of me knowing he has done this help me. He doesn't come home afterwards and act any better. If anything he pulls away and becomes distant because he is thinking off what he has done and doesn't know what to do or say. I listen to my husband about his day I ask how he feels and I keep the spice in our love life. I do everything the mistresses say to do to keep my husband from cheating and yet he still cheats. I also don't understand how they believe they are not at fault. Yes some women don't know the man is married I get that. But these women knew they were getting involved with a married man from the beginning and if not then they knew shortly after. Yet they still kept pursuing them. These women even seemed to get off on it. I'm not saying it's all their fault because it does start with the man but they are an accessory to the fact. They talk about their pain and all the suffering they go through but they knew what they got themselves into. Somehow though they get mad because we don't understand their pain but don't care what pain the wife goes through or the children's pain. That man is someone's else's husband and NOT theirs. The wife has every right to get mad and be in pain! How dare these women play the victim and I repeat when they know what they got themselves into. These women are delusional and have no right trying to claim something that isn't theirs!

Replied By: cjyoung on Oct 27, 2015, 1:46PM - In reply to pugsusa
I just watched the show & am floored how crazy Sarah & the bad boy are, its wrong!!  Its marrage, its a SIN!!!

and to think I have to work  at home or job I have to do all my wifley duites and then take care of HIM, to be the housewife & the hooker.  Im to angry to go on I will break my keyboard
Replied By: pugsusa on Oct 27, 2015, 12:47PM
I am gong to be very frank. These guys are all not worth a shit. The excuses they give to have affairs are absolutely rediculous. If all men are wired to cheat than I want nothing to do with them. That is rediculous.  Not having sex is not a reason. There is so much more to a healthy happy relationship. Cheating is a cowards way out of facing your own insecurities and short comings. Dont put it off on your partner. When u love someone truly u would never cheat. I feel most people have no clue wot it is to really truly love someone. you cannot avoid an affair happening to you if you marry a liar and a cheat. Know who u marry. 

These two guests u have on are simply dilutional and  are just trying to convince theirselves this is acceptable behavior. I mean look at who and wot they r. Professional cheaters and liars. 

Really haircuts????? You either love me for who I am or not. My hair is my decision. Not permission to cheat. Really!!!! I am so angry at this guy u have on im about to jump through my TV. 

DR. Phil your wife is dead on....

Replied By: nini1987 on Aug 28, 2015, 2:47AM
I am deeply in love with someone. He moved away to give us a better life. He was supposed to come back for me. Tomorrow makes 5 weeks he's been gone. I've cried for 36 days straight day and night. We talked until a week ago than he stopped all communication with me. He found someone and they are dating. I'm deeply depressed, destroyed, hurt, and suffering. He won't give me closer or say a word. Can anyone tell how do I give myself closer? Do I give up on us for good?
Replied By: hurting1974 on Jul 19, 2015, 12:57AM - In reply to sabrokenheart
First of all, I am sorry that you are going through this...again.  I have been through a very similar relationship, and the result was not a positive one for us.  But you have to decide what's best for one can tell you whether it will or won't work.  I think that it's a good sign that he is willing to go to counselin, but ultimately it is up to you if you want to give him the chance.  Listen to your gut, and do not ignore your intuition.  Once trust has been broken, it is very difficult to get it back...especially if he continues doing the same work that he's been doing.  Every time he leaves, it will be hard.

I commend you on thinking of your daughter, and the impact of the message she will receive from how her father treats her mother.  It's too bad that your husband isn't just as concerned with being a disloyal and neglectful example for his child to emulate in her future relationships.

I don't mean to sound harsh, or judgemental toward your husband but the fact that he was telling this person that he wished your daughter was theirs, while your father is dying is beyond hurtful and cruel.  Did you say that the first time this happened he said he'd never do it again?  I'm just sharing my opinion, like I said you have to decide what your boundaries are.  Sounds to me like you're an intelligent woman, just trust yourself. You've obviously capable of making it without him...
Replied By: sabrokenheart on Jul 17, 2015, 2:39AM
I have recently found out that my Husband was having his second affair in our 3 years of marriage, and am devastated to say the least. To give some background he is in a career where he takes wealthy foreigners on tours of our Country and travels for about 5/6 months of the year. These are often very private (2 or 3 people and often Fathers and Daughters etc). The first incident happened about two years after we got married, he got close to a girl on his tour and they kept in touch after she left. The messages were very emotional and sexual but it didn't last long, as I found out shortly afterwards. We never went for counselling as he was away a lot for the next couple of months and I worked through it and decided to give him a second chance. I was broken about it and he saw how it affected me and swore it would never happen again.  We now have a beautiful baby girl of nearly a year old and I really felt like the last year had been bliss and that our marriage was stronger than ever. About 3 weeks ago I found out that the same thing had happened on his most recent trip again. This time there was some messing around and kissing involved and they kept in contact afterwards, sending hundreds of daily messages, also sexual and emotional messages. He was pouring his heart out to her, telling her that she was his soulmate, how he wanted to be with her forever and she was so perfect etc. He was also sending her pictures of our daughter saying he wished she was there daughter. The worst part is that this was going on while my Dad was dying of cancer.  My husband was messaging this other woman the entire time while we were visiting my Dad is hospital. It was the saddest and hardest moment of my life seeing my Dad like that and he knew that. I confronted him as soon as I saw the messages (shortly after we returned home briefly from the hospital) and at first he denied it and then confessed and told me everything. He says he loves us and wants to work on our marriage and that he made a huge mistake. My Dad has since sadly passed away a week after I confronted my Husband and I am not dealing with either very well. I feel so betrayed and confused and I don’t know if I can get past this or if our marriage can survive it. He has sworn it will never happen again but he can’t seem to tell me why it happened. He says that if we went for counselling after the first time this wouldn’t have happened again. He has agreed to go for counselling (together and on his own) to work on this but I am still concerned. He has already left for his next trip and will be away for a month. How can we work on it if he is still in this environment and hardly here. I don’t want to raise my daughter in a broken home but at the same time I don’t want her to think this is okay, that it is okay for men to treat women this way. I am fortunate that I have an excellent support system and job and I can support my daughter and I. Any advice? Has anyone been through something similar and has your marriage survived?
Replied By: marget on Jul 2, 2015, 3:41AM
Seven years ago I married who I believe to be the love of my life. A few years into our marriage we had a son. After our son I noticed a decline in my husnands attraction for me. He was no longer interested in having sex. He would rather watch Internet porn.  He would stay up all night at his computer or away at his office working. I would work nights sometimes into the early mornings. I tried to make "alone" time for us. Each time I did I was rejected sometimes even violently rejected. Still I tried to be clever, I would dress up sexy, try to surprise him etc... He seemed to be underwhelmed by it all. It seemed like the harder I tried the more he would pull away. He would rather be left alone with his computer. Even telling me one time that I needed to get a boyfriend for the affection I was seeking. I asked him if he was serious and he said "yes" months went by and we were repeating the same steps over. A work colleague of mine noticed and started to ask questions out of what appeared to be concern. I found comfort in confiding in them since this person was also married it seemed like they had a good grip on things until my relationship with my work colleague turned into a year and half affair. My husband snooped around piecing together clues... After he was satisfied with the information he found I was woken out of my slumber and confronted about everything. I confessed that I had been cheating even that I had a miscarriage by the man I was having an affair with. I cut off the affair and ended up at square one again with no affection. Then my husband and I discovered that he had a porn addiction and that's what made him so cold. He says he cut porn out of his life but I don't know if it's true. He keeps bringing up my affair or talks about things that are insignificant to our growth and development.  When things are going well and we start to rebuild he says something cruel that happened from the past or says things like he can win custody of our child. Just last night I caught him sneakily making an audio recording of our conversation he was deliberately pushing buttons, egging me on, trying to get me to say things... It felt weird so I asked if he was recording us and he said yes. I woke up the next morning and I asked him to delete the recording. Letting him know that if he really wanted to build our marriage and work on things then why would he try to record me in a bad light. He said he would think about deleting the recording he made. He has a password on his phone that he won't give me I don't know if he's back watching porn or if it's something else. He says he wants to do everything possible to make our marriage work but it feels like he is only staying in our marriage to calculate a way to win custody over our son. He says he's really in it, that he loves me, and he wants us to make it, I want the same but I don't know if I can truly trust his motives. Any advice or insight would be helpful. 
Replied By: loveu42015 on Jun 27, 2015, 12:31PM
I live with my two year old son and his father. His father and I have been together for almost four years. But last year my son's father almost died and was in the ICU. His family didn't tell me for three days. I had no clue where he was and I was very worried. Then my son's grandfather came to the house and asked if he could get some boxes out of the garage. I said yes. While he was loading the boxes into his trunk he asked me if I knew where Sean was. I said no. He asked me where I thought he was. I said I hope he is at his nana's house getting better. Then his father turned and said Sean is in the ICU on life support. I was shocked. His father had been at the house for about twenty minutes before he even mentioned Sean. I was furious and felt completely screwed with as if it was a joke. Ever since then my boyfriends friends and family members have been lying to me and I feel like they have been playing games. I could be over reacting. What do you think this means?
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