So basically you two are setting a really great example for your children.....

My husband cheated on me which caused our recent divorce.  I could feel that he was and he would lie to me about it.  After doing lots of searching on the Internet, mainly I found lots of advise just reconfirming what I already knew in my heart.  I thought about the different computer spy programs, but he always seemed to be step ahead of me with the internet history always erased on our home computer.  One thing I didn't realize was that you could also go to these same dating sites, sign up for free with a fake email account and look for the pictures.  I think most men think women are really stupid, but they are not very good at covering their tracks!  Being at my wits end and desperate, I did sign up on one of these sites and behold, saw his picture on it!  I felt really dirty like I was cheating myself by even doing this, but it seems like all of this stuff on the Internet is in the favor of the cheater, not the person who is getting hurt by it.  I found a website that shows how find a cheating spouse's picture on a dating site.  I hope this helps someone out there.  I think there should be more ways to help the non-cheater out there.


https://sites.google.com/site/revealthosecheaters

I have been married for 16 years and my husband has been having a relationship with his junior high school love for 3 years. I didnt realize what was going on until I found out I was pregnant with our 2nd child. He has denied being with this woman even though I have talked with her and the things she has said confirms they are together. Instead of him being truthful about the situation, he says I use him cause I dont help pay bills and I dont work. I tell him why should I give him money when he is giving this woman money for gas and groceries. I tell him if this woman is what he wants then thats fine, leave us alone and go be with her, but I think he wants me to leave the house and I'm not financially stable to leave now. Recently, our son told me that he saw his dad text someone, baby I love you, but he never calls or text me unless we are arguing or he wants to know if I'm going to give him the money for the mortgage. He has cheated with this woman before and when he ended it I thought he was finished with her. I guess he is with her because she has a job and she can afford to buy him the things that he wants. I dont know what the situation is with this. 

He is probably lying about not getting sexual satisfaction out of these online or phone relationships.Of course he does.Men watch football,go fishing,run,ride motorcycles,ect. ect. for fun.However, they solicit dirty talk and naked pictures for sexual gratification.Most men masturbate.It's true.That's o.k.You have to ask yourself if its o.k. for you to be with someone who gets a rush of exitement (comparable to that of a gambler or drug addict) while engaging in sexual encounters with other people.Please don't make the mistake of minimizing the behavior.He knew what he was doing and chose to do it anyway.He was aware of how his actions would hurt you if you found out and chose to go forward.Telling you it meant nothing and was just for fun is what he thinks you want to hear.Be completely honest with yourself.How much time did he invest in these activities?A truly repentant person would be understanding about your feelings of distrust and leave his cell phone or online activity an open book.Is this the way he is behaving,or is he defensive and angry?       I bet he is angry.Angry that you caught him.If you allow it,in time he will turn the whole situation into your fault.

Was married my true love for 9 years and we are still married but he is american and me icelandic, he was sent back to usa in 2011 after we had lived together for 8 years here in Iceland, he was going to get house and work so we could come to usa and be a family again, we have 3 daughters together, then when i tried to go over the tsa sent me back and didnt allow us into usa, so he started cheating on me but i always forgave him cause i knew it was only because i wasnt there, he was never liek that when we lived together, now all of a sudden he has a girlfriend and he says he doesnt love me and its so hard cause i never got the chanse to say goodbye, i wont ever see him in my life again cause i cant go to visit usa and he cant get here, i feel like i cant close this, we are even still married, but we have eben forced by laws to not see each other for 2 years now and its hard i feel like its all so unfair and i feel like my life is just over, i feel very suicidal all the time, and i am seeing a doctor and on medications but its doesnt help taking that pain away, i cant get closure, i feel like my life has been a big lie, i feel like my husband and my best friend just died and i dont get any sympthaty because he is still alive and i dont know how to get through this cause i want to be there for our daughters but every breath is hard to take, i always took care of myself, now i feel so bad about myself that i hate my looks and i go to the gym twice per day, i want to be perfect and i always trid to be but why would he give up on me like that then, what did i do wrong? i will never know, i was there for him always and i feel worthless now... how do you get through this? has anyone gotten through this and how? please help me :(

When my wife and I joined facebook i expressed to her my concern that she had a number of exboyfriends on her "friends" list. She said that all it was was friendship with all of them. I trusted her, and said that if thats it.. its ok. About a month ago she was on facebook, and stepped away for a while. When I went to go on the computer, (it was asleep) it came up to her chat with one of her "ex's". She'd forgotton to log off. Starring at me was an explicite message from him to my wife. I was shocked, angry, hurt. Later, I confronted her about the message, explaining to her how I felt about it, and to end it immediatly. (he doesn't live close)  Well she dropped facebook all together. A couple days ago she informs me that she got a phonecall from HIS wife and telling her to back off. Apparently she had found messages between my wife and her husband. My wife came clean and admitted to me about the messages back and forth, but that they hadn't gotten together, and that she never planned on getting together. She said "I guess I lost a friend". Shocked at that I asked her why she had started, and her explaination was "well, I thought you were cheating". I asked her how could she possibly believe that. (I take care of our three year old all day until I go to work- every day). She couldn't ansewer me. I feel sooooo betrayed. I'm having a tough time deciding what to do. We haven[t spoke in a couple days, I can't bare to look at her. She doesn't realise that what she has done influences not just me, but our daughter. I'm sooo crushed its not funny. This is my second marriage. I really believed I had found "the one" this time. My first thought is divorce. I can't see how I can get over the cheating, lies, deceat. I dont think I'll be able to find trust again.

It makes me ill to my stomach listen this women talking about the cheaters and still making love to them and living with them! A man doesn't define me for sure I can make it without him specially a cheater.. thsi women don't have a sense of pride and respect them as a woman ..I don't even want to hear about! a cheater is always a cheater! I don't find a single excuse to stay with them is outrageous they do the crime and don't do the time, because a bunch of morons are there ready to keep them to forgive   them it makes me sick! and they still complaining stop talking and start walking!

Some people forgive and forget not me!a cheater will be  ALWAYS a cheater .......

How do you do it i have been 22 years and it is really hard to leave with it. I have the son that he had the affair with. I known that it is not his fault . I donot known what to do anymore.

I have been struggling with this for 2 years.

I moved from Ohio to Califorina to start a life with the man that I met through a mutual game online. We had know and been talking to each other for years before I made the visit, then the ultiment move. It started off rocky, I found out after I moved out here that he was still talking to other women. I was reading old text messages off his phone from the two of us and I started to relaize that I don;t remember any of these conversations "I love you" "when are you coming to visit me so we can cuddle ^.-" and many others. I relaized that the woman wasn't me, in fact there were many. I freaked and attempted to break it off right then. He convienced me that he never actually met these women and that it ended when I moved out there. Only it didn't. He kept talking to woman, sexting mostly and instant messaging online. After I broke down from the stress of it and was really ready to be done, I had run out of money and didnt have a job. I was living off of him. Something I said I would never do. Things startred to get better and the road smoothed out for a while. we both got jobs, he finished college and we got engaged.  However, last year when going through old phones and electroncis before recycling them I found naked pictures of woman he was talking to on his phone. At this point, I had councling for a while (after a 5 day stay in the mental hospital from depression and panic attacks) and I turned to my mother and councler for help dealing with this finding. Mind you, I had thought all of it was limited to only texting or instant messaging, phone calls, the photos where a stab deeper than before. Plus, right after I messaged him that I found them I got a called from his  best friend claiming the photos were his and that he used my fiance's phone to talk to those woman. (how stupid do you think I am?!)But my mother said that he loved me and that I should give him a chance. My councler said that it happened in the past, the woman live out of state and that we both know that they are his pictures, that I forgave him for talkin to woman and men do this all the time and what was important was that he hasnt done anything with anyone after he asked me to marry him. He said that it was the way that men are, they don't take the relationship seriously until the ring is on the finger. It is true that I have not found evidance from anytime after that, but it is all coming back now that we are trying to plan the wedding. I take marrage very seriously and I need to know that I am not making a huge mistake here. He said that he didnt do it for sexual gradufication, that it was fun to mess with them and see if they would give him a picture. So therefore, in his eyes, he didnt cheat. However, he did HIDE it as best as he could and lied about it over and over for a year. Only recently did he admit to me that those were his photos, and that what he did was wrong and he didnt mean to hurt me. However, he still holds to the fact that he didnt cheat.

Thoughts?