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More than half of all marriages end in divorce, but that doesn't make it any less painful for those going through it. How did you start over after your marriage ended? Are you struggling to co-parent with your ex? Discuss your experience here.
Replied By: jenlovesju on May 15, 2015, 11:17AM - In reply to findingher
Replied By: jenlovesju on May 15, 2015, 11:16AM - In reply to traciegs
Hello!  I just wanted u to know are not alone...I have been with my common law husband for 19 years and we have 2 kids together.. Just recently, I decided i no longer wanted to be in the relationship. I was so scared and worried how i was going to make it.  I didnt work and was a typical housewife. I walked out with no money..nothing but three bags of clothes!  Four months later, I have a job, finally my own own cell phone!!!  Im as free as a bird now!!!! No one can tell me where to go, who to talk too..Im the happiest woman alive!!
Replied By: findingher on May 15, 2015, 8:00AM
You are no longer the first person I think about in the morning or the last thing I think about at night. You have been replaced.

You no longer have a part if every decision I make and I no longer worry about the repercussions from you if I make the wrong choice. You have been replaced.

My children will no longer worry if they laugh to loud, forget to clean up their mess, or spill milk. You have been replaced.

I will never again worry about being called names, making sure the house is perfect or if you are upset because the ice trays are empty. You have been replaced.

My heart will never again take priority over my common sense, I will never allow it to make me blind to what every one else has seen so clearly for so long. My heart is no longer yours.

I have searched my whole life for this person, and I can't hold you completely responsible for not being the one. I made you him in my mind, I wanted you to be him so bad I forgot what love truly is.

Love never hurts, it doesn't make you question who you are or tear you down. Love is unconditional and something to be treasured, something that grows everyday and builds you up.

So I am sorry, It took me my entire life to find this person and now that I found them I have learned I don't deserve the way you treat me. You have been replaced.

I found somebody who loves me for who I am, knows I'm not perfect and accepts that I make mistakes. Somebody who thinks My grey hair and wrinkles are beautiful and somebody who will always put me and my children first. Somebody who does not compare me to others or try to change me.

You have been replaced by me!


Replied By: baierws730 on Mar 2, 2015, 7:20PM
I've been married for 29 years and over a year and half ago I learned my husband has been watching porn of young girls for many many years.  15 years ago I found out that he had an emotional affair with an 18 year old which I decided to forgive him.  For the past 18 months since I found out about the porn we have been fighting.  I told him after I found out that I didn't know if I could get through it and forgive him but he wanted another chance to prove to me that he loved me and he didn't want to leave.  I have tried to get him to go to therapist, go through the relationship rescue book but I have not had any luck.  I'm tried and tried but when I asked if he can give me what I want I get no response but he doesn't want a divorce either I have asked him to leave several times to give me my space but I can't get him to leave.  I want to give up and walk away from this marriage because he has made me feel completely worthless to him.
Replied By: lovemyfam1010 on Feb 28, 2015, 3:14PM
I am so worried about my kids and I can not find anyone to help me.   My husband and I seperated and moved in with his dad.  We have been married for over 12 years and for over 13 years him and his family have told me about all the violent physical abuse that occurred with everyone at the hands of the Dad.  At the same time I was told there was sexual abuse done to the adopted daughter and other extended family members.  Now that my husband moved in with his dad he thinks it is ok for the kids to live there.  My husband has NEVER allowed the kids to be alone with him and have only been over there with us probably 10 times.  His dad did not attend our wedding and I didn’t even meet him until we were at least 5 years into our marriage. Nor do most of the kids have anything to do with their dad due to the abuse and threats to kill the mom.   So for 13 years I have been told by him and all his family about how much of a monster he was and abused them and now he wants me to allow them to live with him.  Unfortunately, he was never convicted so he does not have a criminal record.  However, I have some text from the abused sister talking about it and other family members mentioning it.  Now my husband is acting like he has no idea what abuse I am talking about.  I truly believe he is suffering from some PTSD from his childhood and his job as a firefighter (he tried to save a 4 month old baby over 2 years ago and couldn’t.)  Since then he has slowly withdrawn from his family and friends, doesn’t really have many goals, stopped caring for the house and people and now he will allow his kids around his dad.  He of course thinks he doesn’t have a problem or need any help. 
Replied By: siirikaisa7896 on Feb 19, 2015, 2:11AM - In reply to iifollow
with 10 yrs of verbal abuse he tried to kill me,  Being accused to sleeping with everyone  I have no friends,  I tried to keep it together and he used the excuse of medications made him act that way.  I dont know how to handle the PtSD and anxiety that I have now.  I am a mess amd dp see a therapist but no one knows how it feels to be locked in my house beause I think he is going to break out the windows and finish what he started.  Does anyone know how to help me.  I am in farm country and there are no support groups
Replied By: traciegs on Jan 14, 2015, 2:13PM
I have been married for 20 years me and my husband aren't getting alone and we have seprated. and while we were seprated i started talking to someone else and really likethis guy alot. so now i dont know if sure stay with the new are work on my marriege... Help
Replied By: tundra123 on Nov 28, 2014, 10:41AM
This is my second marriage after a 25 year first marriage. Last year I found out my spouse of 6 years had been using meth. for years before I knew him. We were working on that. Soon after, although he drinks socially, I started finding stashes of vodka bottles, and he was drinking extra alcohol. Most recently, I found a flash drive full of XXX videos, and he fessed up to more and viewing internet porn long before I knew him. So, is he just an addictive person? Or, are these all separate addicitons? How broken am I?  I asked that he go to therapy and he said yes. That was a week ago and he has not called yet.  But, can he be helped? He is 65 years old and has been doing this for a long time.  I would like to know if others have experienced such events. I am very worried as to what I am going to find out next. The most amazing thing is that I had no clue of any of these things before we married.
Replied By: largefries on Oct 25, 2014, 4:38AM - In reply to fransuzy
stick with drug guy and maybe you won't have to worry about your minimum wage job and your car. you won't have either if you get arrested with party boy who won't grow up.
Replied By: largefries on Oct 25, 2014, 4:31AM - In reply to normalita1
i'm confused how her divorce 8 years ago has anything to do with recent anger with her brother.
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