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Family

 
Have your loved ones shown you the true meaning of the word "family" with their actions? Or, is there a rift in your family that has gone on too long? Share your stories and solutions.
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Replied By: ashlymills on Jun 29, 2015, 8:43AM
So when we pick our son up for weekend we find out that his therapeutic foster mom is going to no longer keep him because he remains out of control. Hospitalization us recommended from about 5 DIFFERRNT people...yet he is sent home.


In ONE weekend, he has woke his sister up everyday, screaming, banging his head on wall, whatever seems might work I guess. Then we find out he managed to go under a baby gate in front of his door and go in her room where there is a monitor. He turn on a baseboard heater that if any closer to anything could have set the whole house on fire. I thought it was weird she woke twice crying, she usually sleeps all night, and then it kept being warm in her room and I cld hear the clicking, not to mention he was moaning making noises and talking loudly to wake her up. I don't know what all he did in the night, but ik he went in her room and made her cry at the very least.


His therapeutic foster mom is still saying wait until tomorrow because she wants to work, and his therapist is waiting for approval for hospitalization however long that will take. AND she just found out if hospital not approved and foster mom doesn't want, he gets sent home. Please tell me what work we live in where it's ok for a toddler to be terrorized, a WHOLE family to live in danger because NO ONE will listen or respond or HELP 
 
Replied By: ashlymills on Jun 26, 2015, 6:09PM
So the foster mom has finally figured out we have been telling the truth.  Consequences and rewards DONT work with a child who does not care. Has no empathy and displays no emotions except for "i want."

They are now thinking of a hospital placenta but in the meantime send him home for 4 days to be around his toddler sister providing us with the mobile crisis # for WHEN something happens.  I live in terror that the next hit , punch, or kick is going to permanently damage him or his sister changing their lives even more for the worse than what is already happening.


I DONT get this wait for something to happen to provide help. Or waiting for a future to be ruined to give help.  They know he needs constant supervision and that he hurts himself and others (currently has bruises on himself now), but they send him home where we are just not qualified to keep everyone safe.
 
Replied By: ashlymills on Jun 24, 2015, 2:01PM - In reply to kellyapritchar
Hi,


He wants EVERYTHING. We cld buy him a toy, he cld get a school reward,  and he's mad someone else gets a reward too or steals a girls necklace he won't ever even wear.  He wants his way 24.7 as well as all attention 24.7, all of which is impossible to give him.

His meds change so rapidly because of his metabolism,  and this behaviors were before the meds so it is not side effects although they do occur.


I have a master's in psychology and a minor in criminal justice and honestly see some of these behaviors and am terrified for his future and why I have been constantly begging for help.  He tore a door off hinges at 4, almost broke teacher's hand, his hand and another's by 6, and has hit his toddler sister in the head and not cared.  


He has seen therapists, psychologists, hospitald, etc. And no one knows what to do because it is shocking to see these behaviors in such a small person.  We can't just let him have everything he wants,  that is not life,  not to mention he is never satisfied.  He steals food, jewelry,  stuff he doesn't even know what it is! 



 
Replied By: maggiebagi on Jun 23, 2015, 11:02AM - In reply to maggiebagi
My oldest also wore ureterostomies (urinary pouches) from 15 mos to 6 yrs. He has been through 4 major kidney operations thoughout his childhood. He had been to prison 4 times for flelonious assault. I have been a champion in his corner all his life and then he decides 15 mos ago to dismiss me from his life! My heart is heavy and hurts every day for my grandbabies...cause I have alot to give and they deserve their granny.
 
Replied By: maggiebagi on Jun 23, 2015, 10:54AM
I wake up every day with a heavy heart. My oldest has disowned my husband and I. He was born with a congenital obstruction that had caused both kidney's to fail and has had to be on dialysis for more than ten years now. I often sit on my pity pot; because he has our grandson (who is now 15 mos.) and we don't see him (nor his brother or sister 9 and 7 from her previous relationships).We believed he could never have children of his own given his medical history. I don't like it when folks tell me "That doesn't mean your a bad person" or "Its his loss." I know I'm not.
 
Replied By: kellyapritchar on Jun 22, 2015, 1:32PM - In reply to ashlymills
Hi. I feel so bad for your 8 year old and for your family going through this. My first question is, "What does the boy want that he is not getting"? It could be an emotion like love, or respect or trust and is only getting iolence, bullying, and put downs.  if it is a material thing that hurts no one and is available, why not let him have it?" of course we hippies raised a generation of kids like that, give em what ever they wanted when they wanted and now we find a lot of selfish adults. I don't know your answers but I know a kid throwing things around a toddler is dangerous. I would write and write and write to Dr. Phil and also to the "Be on the Show" section. It sounds like you may be raising a psychopath. Oh and about some medications. IDK about your kid, but the antidepressants doctors put me on made me have violent thoughts when before I was just depressed. A little kid that age needs help tho. And you need a break.
 
Replied By: ashlymills on Jun 20, 2015, 9:40AM
Hi all,


I am starting to feel there is no hope for my family in getting help/answers.  We have an eight year old son who has seen therapists,  psychologists, hospitals, etc., ALL of whom, "don't know", and are shocked to watch this sometimes sweet little people show so much rage.  He goes through cycles that we can seem to predict intensity, when, or how long they will occur, but when they do this EIGHT year old talks of blowing people up, cutting his throat, killing people, and if mad it doesn't matter if there is an adult, a fellow student, or his toddler sister, things get thrown, people get hit, kicked, punched, whatever he thinks he needs to do to get his way. He steals constantly and has graduated to trying to steal from stores at EIGHT, and the biggest obstacle is he seems to have no empathy,  or per he's therapist, "affect". How do you teach someone with no empathy right from wrong? How do you correct a behavior when you have no idea what is causing it. He has been diagnosed with adhd, odd, unspecified mood disorders and on and on, but it is mostly this who say I don't know, and throw jello on the wall to see if it sticks.


He has been on every medication, up to adult dosages, until he doses out and is now on a revolving cycle of meds he has already tried that didn't work.  I am not saying my family is perfect,  but we have consistency, we have rewards,  consequences, none of which matter...and it is to the point that when he is in the home I am terrified of what he will do or lie about next. I am terrified of how his future will be, what his toddler sisters future will be, and what this families future will be , because so far all we get are " i don't knows. "
 
Replied By: skyhighx on Jun 18, 2015, 11:30AM
I wish I could be on the show so badly. My family just isn't right. I have a ODD and ADHD sister that's ruinned/ruining my family. I just remember my whole childhood filled with screaming and tears because of her. I think a lot of my current mental health problems are because of her. I want to hate her for it, but I can't. I'm just hurt... and angry. She has done every drug in the book. She still does some because she's in her hippie stage. She likes the visions. I almost feel like she believes the crap she spreads about my parents. For awhile I thought my parents were these horrible people she made them out to be. She ruined mine and siblings relationships with them. She got my brothers into drinking and drugs. She made it seem like it was fun and big deal to do them. It is though. I don't want to be like her.... I don't want to think like that. I already have pressure from school about doing drugs. I deserve a good role model now. She's 24. She needs to grow up and I want her to be happy so badly, but not like this. I want her to be safe and not where I'm always worried about going to die. She's hitching hiking for heaven sakes! We are willing to give her money so she doesn't have to do that, but she has to live on the edge. It's not fair. I didn't ask for this; My brother don't deserve this! Hell, my parents don't even deserves this. They're good people getting thrown into ditch for no reason at all. Worst of all it's by their own daughter that they've bent over backwards for. I just want it all to stop. Please... We already have enough on our plate. She's ruined my life and I hate that, but as much as I want to, I can't hate her.
 
Replied By: ravenlost1 on Jun 17, 2015, 5:11PM
 
Suffering of ex tenant abuse 2011-2012, illegal medical malpractice abuse.victim 2011-til now of harassment not.stopping.reporting them, traumatic head concussion as a.result of head fall at Duncan Donuts.of meds.by crises.ctr.of.kjerstein johnson in oct 2011, lost my life.of.defragmation of 4 years.

My family,.shame on family when i reached out,had 60,000 thousand dollars that i wouldnt been a.financial burden...believe liars on docs, as i never.lied.in my life, my dad would.roll overin his grave..,,

 
Replied By: ravenlost1 on Jun 17, 2015, 5:00PM
 
I call,.text,.email, as he.has some.nerve.when I get him.on the phone to act.fliffin, everytime.he.needed a.favor.had no problem in picking.up.the phone.

Whether he.likes.it.or not, he gets.updated information and not pulling.talk nicely like a.fake person, weren't.raised that way...not to pull any punches or tell any lies...

He calls me.Zarahrie,.he is.getting.used to it,.

 
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