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Family

 
Have your loved ones shown you the true meaning of the word "family" with their actions? Or, is there a rift in your family that has gone on too long? Share your stories and solutions.
Comments
Replied By: ohmylife on Apr 13, 2015, 7:37PM - In reply to swedewh
In reply to your comment... Abuse of any type is not to be tolerated. It doesn't matter the title (mother, father, friend, co-worker, etc.) any human being that is abusive to you needs to be dismissed from your life.  Do not listen to useless false negative hurtful words, and do not allow anyone to verbally abuse you. Give him a chance first maybe. Tell him how you want him to talk to you. And if he can't or won't change, no matter how difficult in the moment, you must remove the cause of your pain. There is too much uncontrollable pain and heartache in this life we have, so for our own personal happiness we must take control of every thing we can and make it right for ourselves. My prayers go up for you.
 
Replied By: steward7777 on Apr 11, 2015, 11:05PM
Thank you Dr Phil for healing America one story at a time...Your work is so needed now and forever.  I watched April 10th show  "I was held captive by an online friend" and a fire was lit under me.  Yes there are details in the mother's past that MADE the mother WHO she is today, but she is NOW a Narcissist and drove her daughter far away.   (I'm so terribly sorry for what the daughter endured).  I don't know if the times have changed and the generations have shifted or what, but I'm seeing a surge of Narcissist parents that are snuffing out the emotional lives of their children because of incessant Narcissism.  Parents are acting like the children and young teens 12, 13, 14 ect are having to put their lives on hold catering to the delicate emotional balance of their moms or dads. (Speaking from experience)  Parent's are supposed to be "the parents" and take "the high road", we should put our own feelings aside for the greater good of our children.  Unfortunately the child of the Narcissist usually has stunted emotional growth because of the years of conflict and turmoil of dealing with such a selfish parent.  What's so sad is, it seems like 99% of the time a Narcissist can't even see what they are doing to their children, as in the case of Hope's mom, she has no ability to see the pain she continues to cause in an already  broken wounded child. Please fix all the Narcissist parents in 2015 Dr Phil!!  (smile)  Thank you.
 
Replied By: tknbychance on Apr 6, 2015, 11:25PM
My son is being sentenced on April 13th for "grooming" charges against an 11 year old little girl. He is 21. He sought her out because she was young, he is violent, he assaulted his fiance while she was holding my grandson. This is not the first time for any of this. I've tried to get him help and nothing has worked. I am done. I need help now!!!! I am lost, I don't know what to do or where to turn. I've emailed the show so many times. Please help me!
 
Replied By: mydexter on Apr 6, 2015, 12:53PM
I'm sitting watching episode #8023- Save my son episode.  You sat and told the parents to throw him out of the house.  Well, we did that with my 19 year old daughter when we caught her smoking pot in our house,  which BTW we lived on a military base at the time. That worked out just wonderful for us and our daughter.  She is now sitting in jail for 7 felony charges because she had no where else to go so she hooked up with some thug and started robbing houses.  So at what point does throwing them out help them in life?  Did it teach her not to smoke pot or not to drink?  Doesn't sound like it does it. Now she doesn't trust we want to help her, she doesn't trust we won't turn our backs on her again.  I normally agree with you, but I wish like heck I would never have listened to you on this one.
 
Replied By: menika1965 on Apr 1, 2015, 11:52PM
I have not spoken with my sister since May 2004, when I last saw her.  For whatever reason, even before then, when she was married to her first husband, she had very little to do with her side of her family.  I understood that part of it was she didn't have a great relationship with our mother, but our mother has been gone since 1997.  I had found my youngest son in 2009, and he got in contact with her through facebook and my niece, my sister's only daughter.  My niece and I spoke for a while, but then when she refused to tell me exactly what she was referring to about a question she had asked, I stopped speaking with her.  I didn't have time to play her games.  Anyway, my son was speaking on the phone to my sister, and she was telling him something about me (he had her on speaker phone, which she didn't know, I don't think), I caught part of what she'd said and asked him to ask her to repeat what she'd said.  She hung up and refused to answer his calls, apparently afraid that she would be forced to speak with me.  She and I are pretty much the only ones left in our nuclear family, and I don't understand why she refuses to even tell me why she won't speak with me.  Her 2 sons even refuse to speak to me, telling me that I "know" what I did.  And I honestly have no clue!
 
Replied By: settheexample on Mar 28, 2015, 5:17AM - In reply to settheexample
CORRECTION, I HAVE NOT TALKED WITH NOR SEEN MY GRAND BABY, AND SHE CANNOT ADVOCATE FOR HERSELF, SHE IS ONLY 3 1/2.   MY DAUGHTER DOES NOT TALK SHE SCREAMS SHE CURSES, ALTHOUGH IN ALL HONESTY I BELIEVE IT IS HER DETERENT TO DEFLECT THE REAL ISSUE.   I CAN NOT BELIEVE AFTER  MY COUNSCIOUS PARENTING TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY, I WOULD HAVE NEVER  EVER  EXPECTED ANY OF THIS.   I WAS NOT PERFECT OBVIOUS, BUT PURPOSELY, TRIED.      IT IS HARD TO GET TO TRUTH, WHEN SHE HAS SO MANY PEOPLE WHO HELP NURTURE LIES, DECEIT, COVER UP, MANIPULATION,  INSOLENCE.   THEY ONLY JOY I HAVE HAD WAS THAT OF BEING A MOM, AND NOW A NANA.   I WANT MY FAMILY BACK, WHAT EVER IT TAKES!    BEING A SINGLE MOM,  FOR A DAUGHTER WHO DAD, LIVED HIS LIFE, 7YEARS PRIOR TO HIS DEATH, WITH A GENTLEMAN , AND A GRAND MOTHER HIS MOTHER WHOSE POISON STIFFLED HIM HIS FAMILY AND EVEN HIS DEATH..   I SO WISH HIS LIFE COULD BE VINDICATED, HE DID NOT DESERVE ALL HE WAS MADE TO SACRIFICE, CERTAINLY WE DID NOT EITHER.       GRIEVING  THAT NEVER ENDS.   PRIOR TO HIS DEATH, I LOST 7 OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS .   I HAD NO FAMILY SUPPORT, NO FRIENDS OR CHURCH FAMILY EITHER, TO OFFER  HELP WITH MY DAUGHTER WHOM I LOVE WITH WHOLE HEART.
 
Replied By: settheexample on Mar 28, 2015, 4:56AM
Shout out to the Dr.Phil, community,


I have written many times, in sheer desperation.  i am a divorced parent of an adult daughter, who is 24.    She had a baby who is now 3.   I have both heard from my grand baby;s mouth as well as observed her behavior that supported grave concerns.  Yes, I have prior, to now contacted and discussed with the appropiate dept. for this, which by admission, from the intake counselor to warrant immediate follow up, and did recieve a confirmation.  Although by the time info transmitted from DC, to Nashville, to my local district, it became entirely something else.  And as a result of other matters, which was strategic  deterant as well as my daughter suddenly moving in with a guy whom she had only been working with and seeing 2-3 months moved in with his family took my grand baby just over State line jurisdiction.    My daughter as well as the family whom she has been almost now 2 years has prevented my Chink of Love from having contact.  This toddler told me, she could not take any clothes, nor any of her Christmas, they would through it away, they don't like you and they don't want me to stay at your house.   These grown adults, who have Enabled this on going behavior of my daughter and obvious there Son, which he was in and out of jail 3x, before his last  time getting caught, and as a Felon did, is serving since June 1yr. sentence.    Everytime my grand baby tells me anything then she is punished and they will not allow her to see or talk with me.   I have no Family suppor they are dead, and even her Dad is dead.   My daughter makes up or brings up old issues as reason for her decision, which is more about keeping her baby quite and hurting me EMotionally, as well as Reinforcing Emotional damage since I took care of and her  from birth to 1 1/2 yr old.     This is my only daughter and grand baby.              I have no where else to turn.   Georgia, and Attornies are expensive.   I do not nor my grand baby deserves this.   Her boyfriend is not her dad.  My daughter will not come clean regarding this.   Tries to make my grand baby and his family  also believe he is her dad.  His jail visits they told her he is working for a company!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.    Some one hear  me for Her sake.    This is too much.    HELP! 
 
Replied By: kjfuller on Mar 27, 2015, 8:51PM
I dont know to think. I got a girlfriend and have a child together. I want everything to work out, but she has not touched me in about 7 months. We are civil to each other and very little arguments. But she will not touch me and i hate giving up but i am lonely
 
Replied By: mariao1991 on Mar 27, 2015, 4:13PM
Look this has been Going on for a a long time I'm 24 years old my dad has distended himself from his own kids he does everything for his girlfriends kids but if his own kids don't do stuff the way he likes he wuiys talking to us. This last year he quit talking to me for a whole year till my older brother committed suicide. My dad didn't talk to him for 2 years before he did it. I try to reach out and he ignores all my texts and phone calls. I feel he doesnt love his kids the way he should and it breaks my heart. I just want a normal relationship with my dad. My life is not perfect but im 24 i still have a lot of learning to do and i know his life wasnt always perfect.
 
Replied By: grammar1952 on Mar 24, 2015, 11:21AM - In reply to grammar1952
also  your son needs to grow a pair.  if you know what i mean.  he needs to realize that his marraige is an empty marriage.  he would probably be happier divporced.  his kids are old enough to state who they would want to live with, and you would probably get to see them more too.  try and go to one of their games or things that is open to the public and show your face to them, there is nothing she can do about it, as long as you are not threatening in any way.

 
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