Hi, 


Sorry to hear you feel horrible about yourself and your grown kids are being terrible. Perhaps your negative attitude towards yourself makes you have a bad attitude towards your 21 y.o son. Just think about that.


But regarding friendships, if you think about where we make friends, first it's at school, or in our neighborhood. Then at work, then in social clubs such as a dance class, a gym, a knitting group, and online groups such as games or discussion groups.


What do you like to do besides go online? Do you like to knit? Paint, study the bible? Read? Find a hobby and join a group!!!   It's pretty much that simple. If you are overweight, then join a Zumba class...they are a riot!  No one cares if you're overweight, they all are either trying to not get overweight or they once were overweight and lost the weight. Most likely, they will admire you for taking a first step.


Join a weight watchers group!  Join a book club!  There are so many groups in your community and you just have to stop being insecure, check that insecurity at the door and go join a group and make some friends! Or....get a job and make friends there!


If your husband or someone is getting in your way, well tell them to get out of your way or step up to the plate and entertain you and take you out. It's your life, your kids are old enough, stop being a prisoner in your own mind.


Best of luck to you

Okay, I know what it is.. Just haven't seen it much since I married 16 years ago, and Now I am living with my teen and I have no friends except Online. I dislike my Body and so I hide. I have asked wheather I am a good friend , Mother, Wife..I sperated from my husband. and now trying to raise my daughter. My son is 21 and Hates me. Life is great NOT...just laugh it out I guess

I love my boyfriend very much, he means the world to me. However, we cannot communicate with each other like most couples do.  I am a literal thinker, and he misunderstands me. I do not like  guesswork and prefer clear direct conversation. I do not like to read between the lines, and like when people mean what they say, and say what they mean. I have tried extremley hard to understand him more, and what he is seeing when we talk. He tells me, I need help, and I need to talk with someone about the way I think. Although it may not seem like it, I am one of the easiest people to get along with. Can anyone relate to what I am saying? I would love some input on how I need to see myself through his eyes.

I understand and feel the same.

I work from home and am the only person in the family of three adults bringing in an income. I get very lonely. We are usually flat broke and there is no money to do anything. I was very active on facebook, having 'friends' from all areas of my llife...former coworkers, former classmates, new friends I had met through other friends and also my 'gastroparesis family'. I was feeling particularly depressed the other day after a fight with my boyfriend of 11 years over how he was treating my son. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I posted on facebook about my distress and it was a pretty obvious cry for friends to step in. Only one, who is a relative of my son's bio dad whom I have never even met, spoke up. I then posted a message that was really only intended to say I was going to delete my facebook account. I was contemplating suicide at that time but intentionally left some words and phrases out of my post as to not alarm people too much. I love my son too much to ever take my own life.

Anyway...my bottom line and the moral of this story is that if you are lonely, facebook isn't going to help. No one on there is really a friend. It is as virtual as a game of bingo. Don't count on anyone but yourself, because bottom line is no one but you has your own back or gives a crap.

Gossip is a Sin against God.  Gossip is a Sin against those one Gossips about.  Gossip is talking behind someone's back without their knowledge and spreading true or false viscious rumors.  Gossip destroys friendships.  People who Gossip about another person ARE NOT their real friends.  IF you are truly friends with someone, You should have the COURAGE to confront them to their face.  IF YOU DONT YOU ARE A COWARD.  People who do things behind another persons back usually have their own personel problems that they are not dealing with.  Truth Friends want their Friends to know the Truth about what others do behind their back to hurt them.  They want to protect them and help them. .  Sadly when one person hates another person.  Its hard to be friends with the person the one person hates because they will try to use you to hurt them.  You have to choose.  Gossip can have its root in many things including Jealousy.  Sadly not everyone can be Friends because of peoples vendettas and character flaws.

there is this girl who i have been friends with on and off for the last 3 years and i do feel stuck... we don't really talk, we plan to do things and at the last minute i had times when i wouldn't hear from her about us not doing something and when i try to tell her how i feel about something, she gets defensive and if i try calling her, most of the time, like 9 times out of 10, she won't answer her phone or call me back.. she'll text me, but she won't call me and we recently started talking again after 2 years of not speaking and she agreed she needed to make more of an effort and yet, it is the same thing happenened again...we talked about having lunch together and she said she couldn't go because of no money or no gas, yet she waits 3 hours to throw in the part of no gas, then when i told her i was feeling blown off, she starts telling me how i need to control my emotions and it is like you can't tell her anything... we haven't really talked much and actually, aren't that close.. we were a few years ago, but recently when we do lunch and hang out, the one time that we did, all we talked about was the past and when i go to bring up how it feels awkward, she will not answer the question and tells me she is busy... she was the one who said she would make more of an effort, yet she did very little in that area... i haven't talked, or texted her in awhile cause while i have thought about it, all it will do is stress me out and start her fighting with me...

tell me. has anyone been here before and how did you handle it? right now i am letting her just be alone cause i get annoyed just thinking about her...

I believe friendship is similar to an intimate relationship, a true friend is loyal, dependable, considerate etc. I am 42 years old and over the years i have tried having friends but except for one person they have all failed me, i was always there when i am needed, at times i would put their needs before mine and so on but when the time came for them to be there for me, there were always the most absurd excuses. The person whom i consider to be my friend since our teen age years is living far a way from me for many years so we have not been able to do friend stuff, i recently got in touch with her hoping that we could at least have a relationship via phone but she's busy with work and school and i understand that so i hope when things get less hectic she will give me a call. In the mean time i really do need a friend, it's good to have someone who is trustworthy to talk and laugh with a few times a week. I feel like i am beginning to loose a sense of who i really am and i am  trying my very best not to get depressed, there's next to no joy or laughter in my life  and it's hard.

I would like to feel for you. However, I have no spouce to do anything with, no friends and no family other than my kids. Be greatful for your spouce.

friendship is real because you are someones best friend even if they tossed you aside. as long as you do your part in life you cant feel sad because some people just dont get it.lol.