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Raising Infants/Toddlers

 
Having a baby is one of life’s biggest blessings – but some new parents may be wondering, what do I do now?! Are you a new parent with questions? Or, do you have tips to offer others? How do you handle tantrums? What’s your potty-training secret? How do you calm a crying baby and get your child to sleep? What techniques do you use to get your picky little one to eat? Share your stories!
Comments
Replied By: mountainwoman1 on Apr 13, 2014, 3:40AM - In reply to onelove7481
Sounds like quite a pickle! I really don't have an answer for you, as I debate this question in my head every year about what I'm going to do when I'm a parent. Morally, I don't want to lie and think Santa Claus is a pointless legend now... but I'm also an adult and have not been a child in quite awhile, so I have to remind myself, well I enjoyed the mystery of Santa as a child and I was only sad for a moment when I found out the truth. It's funny how something so ridiculous as a fat man in a red suit has me in such a moral dilemma!

I found this article on the subject that brings up some good points supporting your beliefs. Your husband and his mom may change their minds:


http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/plato-pop/201312/the-santa-claus-lie-debate-answering-objections
 
Replied By: mountainwoman1 on Apr 13, 2014, 3:25AM - In reply to mommao4
I like that one mom's response about having her child clean up after his accidents. It's a very important standard to uphold with kids. But I've never had experience with a foster child before. What sort of environment did she live in before you took her in? If she dealt with abuse of any kind, there could be bigger issues she is having that typical parenting practices won't solve. I've nannied for a child who had specific needs (over-active, highly emotional) and seeing an occupational therapist really helped her situation. It gave her parents and I the tools to communicate better with her.
 
Replied By: mountainwoman1 on Apr 13, 2014, 3:02AM - In reply to saturnamom
As much as I'm sympathetic to how tired your husband must be after being out of town all week, there is no time off from being a parent. Even if it is just for a couple hours on his day off, he needs to have some special one-on-one time with his daughter where she has his complete and undivided attention (you can take a break!). Skype dates during the week when he's gone may be helpful as well. Her dad is the most important guy in her life right now, and it's very important that he has an involved relationship with her even when he's out of town. Maybe during the week he can send her a special postcard in the mail that is just for her. You may find that she is more disciplined when she is not desperate for her dad's attention.

Even though daycare is great for socializing and a structured day, when she starts going full-time, you will definitely need to supplement the parenting time she is going to be missing out on. Mommy-daughter dates will be important. Maybe give her something to look forward to after daycare each day like 20 minutes at the park where the two of you play hide-and-seek together or at the end of the week you can take her out for frozen yogurt.
 
Replied By: mountainwoman1 on Apr 13, 2014, 2:40AM - In reply to bclarkmom
As a nanny, it never hurts to introduce kids to potty-training if they're curious about it. My rule is to keep it positive! I've been with families that really push the potty training at 2 years (requirement for entry to some preschools) and it can really be a nightmare. Be easy-going about it. Every child goes at his/her own pace, and in my experience, girls get to the potty sooner than boys. Get one of those little potty seats to go on the big potty or you can get a potty chair to go on the floor (more accessible, but can be messy if not monitored). Start out letting her sit on it in the mornings, before lunch, and before bed or however often she wants to. You can make it a routine and when you mention it act really excited about it so she'll be excited too. You can set a timer on your phone and let her pick out a special ringtone for it. It's okay if she doesn't want to go every time starting out. When she first goes on the potty she probably won't go pee yet, but it's just an introduction so don't worry. Once she starts peeing in the potty, create a sticker chart or some sort of small reward system - the little boy I work with loves to get a yogurt pretzel after the potty. Make it something small that you can give her several times a day... like, a whole cupcake won't work unless you want a sugar-buzzed kiddo running around, haha.
 
Replied By: mountainwoman1 on Apr 13, 2014, 2:23AM - In reply to lisapruitt
I would use distraction for his non-egregious actions and time-outs or loss of privileges for egregious actions. If time-outs don't work, then skip to loss of privileges. Kids learn really fast when they miss out on things like going to their friend's house or getting to watch a movie. Spankings should be reserved for something horribly dangerous like running out into the street. I'm a nanny and am extremely successful using those tactics (except the spanking of course). Always remember, he's only been in the world for 2 years, so he's still trying to understand his own emotions and how to express them properly. And it must be hard that his own parents aren't there for him. Pick your battles and if you feel you can't get through to him, put yourself in his tiny little shoes and look at it from his perspective.
 
Replied By: wingedrunner on Mar 7, 2014, 9:13PM - In reply to nscoltsfan1
First off, it sounds like you have a pretty great kid, and pretty free home if she thinks that she can get up in the middle fo the night to do her business. I must commend you on that. A houshold of freedom promotes a detailed world and a strong willed adult. Pretty great if you ask me:)

My two year old did this too int he middle of the night, and we established room time early on. We would have go to bed in her room about an hour before us and our rules were simple, "we dont want to see you, we dont want to hear you for the rest of the night."  We wanted her to understand that she manages her sleeptime, and what she does in her room for the night.


The first few nights we had to keep watch on her door opening and her making her way downstairs, We had to keep explaining to her that she can manage herself however she wants in her room. She can keep the lights on, stay up play quietly until she falls asleep, we just dont want to see her or hear her for the night. The fourth night, we didnt see her or hear her and she stayed up till God knows when and put herself to sleep.  


You maybe thinking,"well what happens if they dont get enough sleep?" well, this is where schedule comes into play. My daughter gets one nap a day and its nothing but park time, walks and fun so she caught on pretty quick that sleep was pretty important. She is in bed by 9:30 everynight...and by choice. She is three now and her schedule still works. 

Our goal behind this is to get ther to manage herself. To many times today we see helicopter parentign and parents assuming responsibility for their childrens issues. We feel that if we teach our little one how to manage the small things like sleep, then she will grow to learn how to manage more complex things in the future.

I really hope this helps or at lease generates options.

 
Replied By: wingedrunner on Mar 7, 2014, 8:43PM - In reply to mum2under2
I had the same issue too with my 2 year old little girl. I found it was great to make it a game. Every time thunder would hit we would race to the covers and scream together.  I would say things like, "Isn't this fun? The water is coming out to play!" She got that big noises and scary things are really not that scary at all because of what I was demonstrating for her. She would laugh everytime storms came and anytime something was scary she would check my expression so that we could laugh together at it. 

THey just dont understand what we are saying right now, so I learned that showing her how to handle these seemingly scary things helped a lot. It also teaches them at a young age that they have control over how they react to the fear or something unknown. So, embrace the process and have fun with them during these scary times.


I hope this helps. 

 
Replied By: nscoltsfan1 on Feb 6, 2014, 4:39PM
My 4 year old has decided she is gonna help herslef to everything in our home. I seen a "friends" youngest child throw a fit that resembled my daughter and it was like a smack in the face of wake up. She is babied cause she is the youngest and we have spent the last 7 mths trying to fix it because she is just taking full rain in this house. She behaves normally but at night she is like a scavanger. She will sleep a few hours then wake up and turn on lights, open fridge, eat food, leave stuff out, pull clothes out of the dressers, get boried and wake up her sisters. Sometimes I am just so tired and dont hear her and she will give me an few hours worth of work by dawn and i am at a loss on what to do. I can not keep staying up all night long just to be sure she wont be up tearing up the house. I make her help clean up and put things back away but she doesnt care it seems. She piles food in her room like bread, milk, water bottles, juices boxes, cookies. I am just at a loss I am making her stay in bed at night but once we are in bed she wakes up and just goes wild. I have gotten to where i dont sleep cause I want to be up and make sure she isn't up so I am really gettting no restful sleeping at night. ANY advice???
 
Replied By: mum2under2 on Dec 4, 2013, 7:37PM
Dr Phil 


my son as of 6 months ago goes in screaming crying fits when it gets windy raining thunder loud trucks etc how can I help him I have tried taking him out side an explaining it but nothing seems to help can you provide other options where we live now more chance of these weather stages occurring 
 
Replied By: sadieemma on Nov 14, 2013, 2:32PM
I have been in a very committed relationship with my boyfriend for a little over a year. I have two girls and he has a boy. I love all three kids and love spending time with them. now to r problems my step son got kicked out of hbis daycare for hitting and kicking other kids. well we live in a small town and I run the only other daycare and his mom didn't think I would have the ability to handle her son all day. but my boyfriend convinced her to bring him to my daycare and she said she would give it a try. well now he has only been here for a mounth and he has gotten kicked out of the preschool program that I do in my daycare. bc he is very rude and acts like he knows everything and throughs a fit everytime I tell himm to do something. the other thing he  came in to daycare the other day say that him mom and dad and his step dad would deal with me so he does njt have to come here any more. well by him saying that it makes me believe that she bad mouthing about me in front of him. so bc she has no respect for me either does he. I have desided that if his disrespect continues he will not be able to come to daycare with me. but my problem is how do I handle this with out making my boyfriend mad. also do I confront her about talkibg crap about me in from of him. I beileve if she continues to talk crap about me in front of him he will continue to be rude and disrespectful and I just will nt deal with that.
 
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