Sign up for the Dr. Phil Newsletter
Twitter Facebook YouTube

Raising Teens

 
As your child approaches the teen years, is your relationship changing? Is your teen acting out, doing poorly in school or disobeying your rules? Do you worry about new technology influencing your child? What’s your biggest challenge? Share your struggles and successes.
Comments
Replied By: lesliann50 on Oct 31, 2014, 1:11PM - In reply to milkjuggz73
I am not one of those parents that is having my two kids being brought up by cell phones, laptops or tablets. Yes they have cell phones but I know where they are at all times. I am not a lazy mother.  I take my kids to their appts and even to all their school events and been there for them.
 
Replied By: lesliann50 on Oct 31, 2014, 12:57PM - In reply to milkjuggz73
I have two teenagers a 17 and a 15. They have their noses in their cell phones 24/7 more my 17  yr old.  I have tired rules like yours but it never works. I have been like that to but I am usually alone like I am now. Your rules work with your family because you started it when your kids were young.
 
Replied By: milkjuggz73 on Oct 18, 2014, 1:52PM - In reply to tamera83
I have simple rules when it comes to technology!!!


And my kids arew now ( 22 ,22,20 ,and 18 and yes rthey still abide by these rules when we are all together, and I still love hearing bout their days.), 


1. NO GAMES until you have done what you are supposed to . ( chores , classwork , etc)


2. Dinner time is family time , I wangt to hear my kids and hubby not their phones and ipods. No gadgets at the table at all , leave them in ur rooms! This is the time of day a family can get together and talk abiout each oithers days so why not. 


3. When someone is talking to you take ear buds out your ear put your phone in your pocket and leave them be! I find it rude to text  someone while being spoken too , kind of like telling that person you are boring so Ill text while your mouth moves. Teach them manners and respect for others feelings and time.


4 If you spend more time talking on your phone or messaging on your laptop , playing video games , and texting then you do doing homework , hanging out in person , and talking to a live person in front of you then maybe its time you join the real world and we shut the gadgets off.
 
Replied By: milkjuggz73 on Oct 18, 2014, 1:41PM - In reply to tamera83
my post was not a generalization of every single kid. I grew up in a very abusive home was able to overcome and raised 4 amazing kids. I just think technology has gotten in the way of things. Parents have become more lazy as well as our kids.  Complaining about the kids without complaining about the parents is just letting parents off the hook. Yes some kids are bad apples but for the most part when parenting was done face to face not via text children behaved better , we had less violence , we had less teen pregnancy , less bullying, less teenage drug use and the list goes on. Time for the parents to their jobs and stop expecting kids to raise themselves.
 
Replied By: tamera83 on Oct 18, 2014, 1:23PM - In reply to milkjuggz73
I was raised until 10 with parents who fault like cats and dogs but my brother and I love each other you had a show where two kids hated each other just want u to know not every familys like that we are closer than any my moms also our rock
 
Replied By: milkjuggz73 on Oct 18, 2014, 8:46AM
Make an appointment to discuss our feelings , talk about the problems , and hopefully come to a solution to keep our family whole. Sounds like we are curing a cold , make an appointment to get well ? I guess today's family is run like we run our businesses , threw technology and appointments. I would say it will eventually cost us but it already has in my opinion.

Have we , Humanity , changed so munch that we now see our family in the same light as a business? That we must schedule appointments for family time and problem solving in between video games , television , phone calls , texts , e-mails and social media . I pray that we can fix this before we reach the point of no return. At the same time tho , we can't complain about it either . We as parents chose how our house is run , we decided how we wanted t raise and teach our children . We shaped them into exactly what they are.

We taught them to speak to us and others with contempt and disrespect. We showed them how to problem solve threw anger and violence. We showed them to treat others with dis belief and apathy. We , the parents , are to blame because we failed to stop our lives to shape them for the future . Our futures. When we were busy talking and texting we should have been teaching them to love their fellow human . We could have put the remote down to teach them respect , not only for others but for themselves. When we were arguing we should have stopped and realized we could be teaching them to problem solve through prayer and comprise. When we were busy posting on facebook , we should have used that time to teach the kids empathy , so that random acts of kindness didn't cease to happen. When we were just to busy for them at all we could have been teaching them to be humble , we need to be reminded of who we are and where we come from. If we ever want our kids to take responsibility then we must start showing them how by owning our mistakes as parents. How can we blame the youth of today for lacking in areas we were to busy to teach them.

We need to change our views from technology back to our children. If we chose not to then we can watch our pasts unfold in their futures.
 
Replied By: lakelife4me on Sep 11, 2014, 1:50AM - In reply to griffinwolf
If your child was showing signs of vision or hearing problems outside the normally expected range, how would you respond? My guess is that you would seek professional care.  I agree that labels have a negative connotation.  I  believe we are moving away from using labels and moving toward just identifying and addresssing needs.....whether they be visual, auditory, behavioral, or others.
 
Replied By: lakelife4me on Sep 11, 2014, 1:19AM - In reply to expat1996
How are you going to feel if you just continue "what if-ing" and the boy is badly injured or worse? Priority here is that child's immediate safety.  Contact CPS .... yesterday! Quite frankly, knowing a child is being emotionally and physically abused and doing nothing makes you almost as guilty.  We would all be surprised at what goes on behind those beautiful closed doors. (Teachers can be prosecuted if they turn a deaf ear to suspicious signs of abuse.)  Be the "hero" here and don't let this continue another minute. You have enough info to justify suspicion. If you are wrong, then let CPS determine that. Right now his well being is much more important than yours or your daughter's standing with that family. It sounds like you have done a great job with your daughter, and that says a lot about your judgement.  It is commendable that you are tuned in to your daughter's friends as well, and seeking a solution for this concern.  Now be confident and act!
 
Replied By: oceanentity on Sep 9, 2014, 10:55AM - In reply to pdiddy47
hello , firstly you are not alone SO many people have these troubles these days but when it starts worrying you to this point thats when it becomes the issue. firstly commend yourself for acknowledging this " addiction " 


that is step 1. Now you need to trial something and it wont be easy but you CAN do this.


spend a whole day off it  ...remove the access teasers the ipod, computer from you. Then go and DO something that isnt electronic ... honest i dont know what it will be.


of course you are going to feel some sort of anxiety associated to what is basically your pattern in looking and interacting with tumblr , but tell yourself IM NOT GOING ON TODAY BECAUSE IM BREAKING A HABIT.


ok ? every second day you HAVE to do this .... then FEEL what its like being off it ... 


You CAN do this. YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE AND YOUR ACTIONS >
 
Replied By: oceanentity on Sep 9, 2014, 10:48AM - In reply to aurorarose2011
Hello , this post is troubling you need to intervene EVERY time she acts out inappropriately. She shouldnt be having a boyfriend at 13 ? if she enters the lounge room naked or is dropping her towel intervene immediately , as with these adult men in public take her by the hand and lead her away while telling her that is NOT appropriate.


Has she been seeing the same councellor for all these years ? time for a new one i think. are you attending councelling also because i think you need strong advice on how to curb this behavior and recieve guidance , its going to take hard wirtk and dedication to turn this around. 


She needs to be closely monitored as she is a prime target for predators. she definately should NOT have access to internet, mobile phone or xbox ( as that has internet access). im serious. your daughter NEEDS GUIDANCE immediately.


i wish her all the best she is way too young to be growing up this fast.
 
Showing 1-10 of total 177 Comments