My daughter is 13 and in grade 4 the bullying began! Kids of today are so cruel and the parents of these kids and schools can be just as bad! The parents of the bullies don't beleive their angel would do that! Open your eyes and take your head out of the sand! My daughter was standing in her grade 5 class when a boy pulled her pants down her underwear was showing. I went to the school and all they did was talked to his parents! He should have been suspended had detention something to teach him!  This other girl was bullying my daughter and they were in the same class and this girls 18 yr old sister was cyber bullying my daughter who was in grade 5. I had police at the school and yet KNOW ONE did anything to stop it except told my daughter to close her fb account. Why should my daughter suffer when the parents of these kids and the school and police do NOTHING, she stopped going to school I couldnt get her to school no matter what! We would take her phone her computer and she didnt care!  she developed social anxiety! It has been hell  the last few years she cries "why cant I be normal" she says she wanted to kill herself! She also has ADHD and can be a handfull at times! She is beautiful but thinks she is ugly, she is smart but thinks she is stupid.  She tried weed but thank god didnt keep smoking it! These days are so different for out kids than when we were growing up. It breaks my heart the way society is today. God bless the kids of today!

Well have you ever considered the fact that she is a teenager? I mean after all she's 16, I'm just one year older than her, but I can kinda understand her situation, teenagers usually jump in and out of relationships, all my friends do that, just that myself I havent really.. I'd prefer getting some education first, but on the other hand, I dont really see any problems besides your own attitude, I can understand rumours and other stuff can be hurtful, but if she doesn't really mind, why would you do? and even if her friends are limited, it's pretty much how I am! I dont really have that many friends, I have enough, it's better to have one or two good friends than a bunch of fake ones, I think you shouldn't worry about her, she's still young.

My oldest daughter is 10, I have a younger daughter & son. For the past year my daughter has really struggled with friends. She acts really imature for her age. She was always coming home saying she was being bullied. We have met with teachers and principals and it seemed to get a bit better. At home its pretty bad I am constantly yelling at her to grow up, she has to be told many times to get something done and she has been this way her whole life. She is not doing well in school but they keep pushing her ahead. Recently I sat down and had a serious talk with her and asked her why she is so depressed and has so much anger, I told her she needs to tell me what is going on. She told me that her friend had made her touch her private(over clothes) and it happened again but she didnt make her they both wanted too. Then she told me she suggested it to another firend but that friend didnt want to but she forced her hand. At first she told me it was mutual and I told her it wasnt right to touch other peoples private parts and isnt right for them to touch you. I told her to stop doing it and thought it was a curious thing. I just found out that she had gone to a friends house and made her do the same thing, her friend said no but she held her hand there, and her firend ran to her room told her mom then her mom told her to wait on the driveway for me to pick her up. I am absolutly disgusted that I have a child that would do something like this. My youngest daughter is 6 and I asked her if her older sister did anything to her and she told me the same thing and that another time she asked her to rub there genitals together. I am horrified I dont know where this is coming from and have no idea what to do. When my older daughter was 3 or 4 she had told me and her dad that her grandma had touched her we confronted the issue but she denied it and she never said anything happened again. I dont know if I should go talk to the parents of the kids she did this to, I am lost. Someone please point me in some sort of direction.

Good Morning,

My daughter is 16 and an only child.  She is a good kid, gets good grades, but has major social issues.  She does not like any girls at school and therefore doesn't have any friends.  She has guy friends, however those friends are limited.  She just got out of a 6 month relationship.  She found out the boy started liking another girl so she broke up.  The boy has tried numerous times to talk to her and she refuses.  She wanted to give him a second chance but he wouldn't break up with the girlfriend.  So she moved on to another boy.  They have been friends for about 6 months and when she broke up with the boyfriend he moved in.  It took her about 2 weeks before she agreed to be his girlfriend.  Before they become bf/gf he was so nice to her, talked nice to her and treated her very well.  The minute they became bf/gf he became sarcastic, flirting with other girls, and constantly bickering with her.  I tell her she needs to learn to communicate with him and if she doesn't like something he is doing she needs to tell him.  She tells me she just doesn't have that spark with him and she wishes she would have never of dated him.  Sometimes on the weekends they hang out and they have so much fun together and then when it is school he is a different person.  He won't walk her to class and sometimes he won't even have lunch with her.  He doesn't even walk her to the bus.  As soon as he gets home he texts her.  This relationship has been very emotional for her and me as I don't like her going from boy to boy.  Plus she doesn't have many friends.  She does not need another enemy.  I'm so upset that she wants to break up with him because I fear the rumors and her not having a friend.  Help me, please!

Ugh!  Where do I even begin?!?!?!  I'll try to make this as short and to the point as possible.  I will fill you in with some background information to set up the situation we now find ourselves in. 

My husband and I have some dear friends who we met when our sons were in preschool together.  The boys are now 16 years old.  We have an older daughter while our friends have a younger daughter and son. We live only 2 blocks from each other but our sons do not attend the same high school.  Although the boys personalities are somewhat different, they do have some things in common and have remained good friends over the years.  

Our friends daughter is 15 and she has been a handful as far back as I can remember.  She is a smart girl and basically a good kid but she likes to push the envelope with everything.  She was recently diagnosed as being bi-polar.  This girl has been hanging around with some kids and adults who I personally would not allow her to be associated with.  She has been seeing a therapist for about a year because of her bi-polar diagnosis and she also has impulse control issues.   Within the past year she has apparently started to drink and smoke pot.  My husband and I just recently found out about this because of other issues with this girl.  About a month or so ago, she was committed to a hospital because she had taken a bunch of her father's medication (he is also bi-polar).  Then, about a week and a half ago, she decided to take off and not come home.   She was found with a 20-22 year old man with whom her dad told my husband she slept with on numerous occasions!   Also, in this short time, we discovered that this girl was hospitalized once before because she was cutting herself.  I'm sure other things have happened but the parents don't tell us everything. 

The father of this girl is quite loud and does seem to go overboard with punishments.  However, her mom is too lax and allows the girl to do basically whatever she wants!  I think she tries to compensate for the dad being too tough.  The parents have had disagreements with each other regarding how to handle disciplining this girl while right in front of this child.   A couple of years ago, this girl and her brothers were left home during the summer months while the parents worked.  The children were not to have friends over but this girl did anyway!  My son took it upon himself to go to their house to make sure that her friends (always boys) knew they were not welcome there when the parents were not home.  

Now, to the issue at hand.  Tonight my son asked if he can go to a local carnival with this friend.  He was told that another mutual friend would be attending with them.  The mutual friend is autistic and my son has always acted like the mother hen who has to watch out for everyone to make sure nothing happens to them.  This carnival is known for attracting a rather unpleasant crowd.  I asked my son to enjoy himself but to also be careful.  He was gone about 3 hours and then returned home.  I asked how the carnival was and he said terrible.  I asked why and he proceeded to tell me that the 15 year old sister of his friend also went.   (Why this girl was even allowed out of the house after everything that I mentioned above was beyond us!!!)  The girl told my son that she had an arrangement with her brother that when they got to the carnival they would go their separate ways.  My son (being the mother hen) said NO!!!!  He allowed his friends (this girls brother and the autistic boy) to go on their own but he followed the girl.  He said he did not want the autistic boy dragged into her drama.  Well, this girl met up with a group of guys whom my son described as being what he thought were gang members, Crips to be exact.  They were all wearing blue bandanas.  This girl was looking to buy pot from them.  Later, this girl ran into 2 older MEN that she knew and she gave them money to go buy her some Four Loko.  At that point my son began to text this girls father but the girl asked the men for her money back as long as my son didn't tell her father.  The text was never sent.  This girl was allowed to go to the carnival as long as her brother was "babysitting" her, which happens quite often.  My husband and I do not agree that this responsibility should be put upon this 16 year old boy!! 

I am so absolutely disgusted that my son was put into a situation like this to begin with.  My husband is at his sister's house about 2 hours away and I told my son to call him and tell him what happened.  My husband then asked to speak with me.  We discussed that the parents definitely needed to know so my husband called this girls father.  My husband read this guy the riot act.  He told him that not only should he not have allowed his child out so soon after what she pulled the week before, but he also told him it wasn't his sons job or our sons job to babysit this girl!  He asked when this guy is going to wake up to the seriousness of what his daughter is doing.  

I feel terrible about the situation but I will not sacrifice my sons safety because these parents seem to be in denial about how bad things have become!!!! 

Do you all agree with how we handled the situation?  

My husband received a text from the dad a short while after their phone conversation and he said he was sorry that his daughter is a bad seed and he is sorry that their friendship is now over.  Then the mom made the girl call my son to apologize and the mom also apologized to my son.    I do not want this to end our relationship with the parents but we need to protect our son. 

I'm a stepmom of a trouble teen, we dont know what to do with her at all, she lies for everything swears and hate everything and everybody she has doing bad at school having trouble with classmates yells to teachers and to us too, shes sexting all the time with people she doesnt even know, we had hear shes using weed and her dad and i had try to do something to help but then i have her mother yelling and saying my husband is a bad parent is a situation that is driving me insane, if they decide put her on pins she says she will kill herself i feel helpless she is moving back to her mom since is not rules set in her life there her mom is same way as she is, we just so afraid shes going to end up in the wrong path and we know will happend once got a letter from social services while she was with her mother saying that she was with the wrong people and was possible get kill if wasnt taking out there shes out of control what i can do i mean i know i have not much time left but im super concern that something extreme like this happen is shes only 15 any suggestions will be deply appreciate it ty

Dr phil, I'm a retired vet finnishing college studying law. I admire you by watching your show when I can. I watched the show where you sent a young girl to a camp. Well watching it brought questions legally in my mind so I brought it up in class. so we watched the show in class. What was brought up again in the class was how the parents video taped the girl naked in her room screaming to her perents to shut it off. In class we figured that the girl was correct in her actions for the violation of privacy. No man women or child is allowed to be taped in that condition without permition, this is onder the same principle as a peeper. This girl did not give permition to be taped naked and whats the biggest problem is she is a minor at that. We discused the legal actions that can be taken and figured that your show and the parents can and probably will end up in court.  Question was brought up to why your show broadcasted the video. By broadcasting it proves that the video did take place and her screams prove that she protested it. We know her parents did video a naked minor. The parents would have  to prove that they did not. However your show was nation wide. For them to prove it did not exist goes against your credibility for the show. Did your producers know the legal following that can come as soon as this teenage girl learns of this illegal activity. I would be affraid of any good lawyers contacting this girl the first two years after she turns eighteen.






I still love the show and the good you do for others, Just hope you good luck.

We know someone who has a 14-15 year old daughter, who is out of control. Throws temper tantrums-screaming, etc. Recently the mom covered her mouth with her hand, because she was screaming... The teen called the police and the mom was arrested. 

When I baby sat this teen she was younger and she was an angel, no issues... We would put her in time out, if she did. Time outs don't work for teens now...

I think she needs some boot camps or something... This screaming is out of control from what I'm told.



Trying2help

My 15 year old has been bullied for years, it damaged her self esteem,.her grades,she threaten suicide.She is a good kid who doesnt drink smoke or do drugs. We transferred her to another school a couple of months ago. Socialyl she is better and she isnt in  any contact with the bullies from her old school. I montior all IM , fb and txts. She is still depressed sometimes, but her grades are not good in the new school. It was hard to transfer in when she did. She feels like a failure, still very sensitive , doesnt know how to make her self perfect( her words). Where do I go from here?

Is your child an all-around good kid?  Does she respect authority and try her best in school?  If so, a little flexability to let her explore herself and her behavior is permissable.  Pull the string too tight and it will break.  Durring adolescence especially, youths crave exploration and discovery.  They're developing who they are, what they like, what they dislike.  


I know that parent's find it very difficult, but if your child is mostly on the right track in life, you need to give them room to discover who they are, not just who you want them to be.  This includes who they talk to and how they do so.  It is very important for young people to explore their own personalities without adult interfeerence.  Self discovery is crucial to social development.  If your daughter does not know who she is and why SHE wants to be that woman, she can develop issues such as low self esteem, social withdrawl, and trouble making friends.  Try to give her some space.  She knows what YOU want for her, now it's time for her to learn what she wants for herself.