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Co-Parenting

 
Dealing with an ex when you have children together can be difficult, especially when negative emotions are involved. Are you sharing a child with someone who doesn't live with you? How do you handle the situation? Are you amicable, or is it a challenge? Share your stories and advice with others.
Comments
Replied By: jayne65 on Nov 13, 2014, 11:32PM
I split up with the boyfriend during pregnancy.He took me to court when the baby was two weeks old for full custody.The Judge decided last week that we should split half custody of my baby.He is only 6 months old and I have not seen him this week at all.I am devasted.How can this be good for a 6 month old baby who has beenw ith me since birth to have no contact with me at all..I feel like my heart has been ripped out..I am all about right for dads but I do not believe this is the right decision..Any help would be appreciated..
 
Replied By: elizabeth4819 on Jun 24, 2014, 12:46PM
My ex husband and I co-parent our 5 year old son and have for over 4 years.  It wasn't easy at first but we both have put our son and his needs first.  Whatever hurt and anger we have caused each other, we know it doesn't do our son any good to let that get in our way for raising our son together.  We're able to see our son whenever we want.  We don't follow our parenting plan - though it's great we have one, we talk to each other - not talk down to each other, and we keep our focus on our son.  He's the one that's benefiting with having both his parents in his life.  We have never bad-talked each other in front of him or to each other.  He's our number 1 priority.  If only adults could quit using their kids against one another, they would begin to see how important it is to have both parents in the child's life.  The focus should always be on the children and not on how to use the children against the other parent - cuz in the end, it's the children who end up hurt.
 
Replied By: stayathome1974 on Jun 3, 2014, 6:57PM - In reply to jewleye
I am so sorry... I know what you are going through :(
 
Replied By: stayathome1974 on Jun 3, 2014, 6:52PM - In reply to maryanne64
I think it depends on the state... I think... with him being in the system who knows...
 
Replied By: stayathome1974 on Jun 3, 2014, 6:46PM - In reply to toni81
as a step parent, I dont think it should have ever been up to me when a my step-children had any contact with thier mother... I would get a little upset when everyone just assumed that I would pick up or drop off... but that was between my husband and myself... would never have allowed it hurt the kids by refusing to do it...
 
Replied By: stayathome1974 on Jun 3, 2014, 6:20PM
I am a step-mother of two children... It is very hard when I have to take the blame for everything that is wrong with my step-children...I have been accused of being abusive, being to demanding and brain washing my husband... I have been married for 9 years and the children were 6 and 4 when I started dating my husband... they are now 15 and 13. I have done everything I can think to do to get along with his ex-wife including letting her live with us so that the kids could be close to thier parents... I will admit that I have made some mistakes I am human... My step son lived with us for three years and I will admit that I demand that my children do THIER best... they dont have to be the best and they dont even have to succeed, but they have to give it their all... When I allowed her to move in I saw him pull away from his father and me almost right away...we were not allowed to get on him before school, he no longer had a bedtime, he had one chore, taking out the trash and would barely to speak to his father or myself... his grades went down, he quit wrestling and played video games all day... after they moved out and she took the kids 1,200 miles away he stopped talking to us together... and the texts that is was my fault starting pooring in from her... he cut his father off totally...I have been over and over it in my head... is it my fault? did i do this to my husband? Did I hurt my son? These questions keep me up at night... to be accused of abuse (I never laid my hands on either of his kids,or called them names or tried to make them feel bad in any way) to be accused of brainwashing my husband because he now believes the kids should have personal responsibility? (This is not me, this is how he feels) and to tell him that his kids do not want to be part of his life because of me ,just breaks my heart... I dont know what to do...I can go down a list of things she has done that I feel are wrong but we are talking 9 years of different things...and as I said I made mistakes too... why should I be held to a higher standard than anyone else in this situation?
 
Replied By: toni81 on Jun 3, 2014, 3:40PM - In reply to dontakeit
I am a mother too..and am going thru HELL...with my daughters fathers new wife, anything and everything to keep me out (Or TRY) of my daughters life
 
Replied By: dontakeit on Jun 2, 2014, 7:53PM - In reply to mshabs
My comment to this is that I've been in a legal case of my life and I'm a mother. The courts have
NOt favored me. THEY have favored my ex because of his toxic new wife and all the said abuse charges against me WHICH were beccause of him and her. SO I've had to clean up all their messes which i've never done anything. WHEn my kids are a MESS emotionally and wondering WHY I'm not doing anything to help them. THEY want to know if I'm still fighting for them and WANT that reassurance from me. AS they get torn down all the time by my ex and his new wife. SO now how do you advise me on this mess as a mother who is picking up THIER BS mess? I'm so pissed at them for how damaging they are making  my kids?
 
Replied By: dontakeit on Jun 2, 2014, 7:44PM - In reply to palsadie
I hear your situation and don't know your legal hand or expense hand either. As it seems your situation was a pay off type deal. Sort of like in my neck of the woods. So if you hand a way to get new legal counsel and have them look over this again to chellange this or if there is a way to do so. AS something doesn't sound right about this. Also about the judge and sorts. I'd be taking this up the chains and I don't care who knows who and whatg have you THOSE are your kids and NO one takes my kids from me. I will fight til my death for my kids. I carried them their MY babies no one elses. Girl I wish you luck and I pray for you.
 
Replied By: dontakeit on Jun 1, 2014, 11:19AM
I have been in the fight of my life for my kids. My ex has kept me from my kids for the last going on 9 years now. It does turn into what I'm readin your going through. Yu have to think of what you went through to have them. How important they are to you. Put yourself in their shoes. SHOW them you will endure blood sweat and tears for them. I know it's hard and overwhelmimg yet then again it's 50% times harder on your lil people. Which as a parent you are to know your to be the bigger person and take on the world for them. Buck up and forgive me for the yuks their deflecting on you. Broarden your shoulders and open your arms to them and welcome them in for a hug. Telling them your sorry, knowing that you will endure this for a while yet. Until the healing is totally done. GET yourself into counseling as it will also be wicked hard for you. YOU all have to RELEARN how to be around one another. AS you all have grown NOT being around one another and you have allowed your protective shell unknowing sheild you from those who your to love. Stupid I know but when you live in so much yuck you shield yourself from the craziest things.  I pray you will really both work this out.
 
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