Discipline

 
Has one method of discipline worked really well for you? Is spanking a necessary evil, or can you discipline effectively without physical punishment? Do you and your spouse, partner or ex argue about how much discipline is acceptable? Where do you draw the line? Sound off!

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Comments
Replied By: tosha73 on Jan 28, 2017, 5:44PM
I watched the footage on the human who calls herself a Minnie to a 7 year old little boy who was adopted by this human who put hot sauce in his mouth and made him keep it there while she repeatedly asked the same questions and then put him in a cold shower and asked him the same questions. I am furious over seeing the video and this is who those children were referred to for adoption what's wrong with the system it's suppose to be all for the children and I just don't see it in this situation that is child abuse and she should've able to adopt children ever again nor have any children in her home even her own. How dare her call herself a mother she should be arrested for child abuse. This was very disturbing to have saw.
 
Replied By: mildenhall on Oct 29, 2015, 10:32AM
My two girls are 13 months apart and even with that I never really dealt with the terrible twos. I found, and am a strong believer that children always have a reason for the things they do. I spent more time asking the whys for the things my children were doing. They often times did the wrong things but for the right reasons and I think many parents fail to consider this. An example of this was when my 5 year old daughter got up one weekend morning and decided to take it upon herself to bake my husband and I muffins for breakfast without our knowledge. Okay....so not the best thing for a 5 year old to be doing, but she was so proud of herself for what she had accomplished. Her heart was in the right place. (I should at least mention that my girls started off in the British school system and their class learned about math through measuring and baking in school). We have had a hard life in the respect that my youngest daughter has been sick all of her life (juvenile rhuematoid arthritis and a form of terminal heart disease caused by a very rare form of glycogen storage disease). Both girls say that one of the best things they remember about growing us was the talks we had. Any time they asked to talk to me, we would go into my bedroom, close the door and lay on the bed and talk about anything and everything. I never passed judgement on them and that is something I'm not sure parents even consider doing. Ask and always listen to your young children and don't pass judgement on them.....you'll never regret it.
 
Replied By: mildenhall on Oct 29, 2015, 10:11AM - In reply to bubbaclam
I was just watching a show where a 9 year old was being abused on the show by his father. I have watched a lot of shows like this and can't keep my mouth shut any longer. Next month I will turn 64 years old. Parents do not seem to realize that all of the abuse they direct at their children lasts for a lifetime. I was physically, emotionally and sexually abused throughout my lifetime as a child. I was the child who would have rather gone to school sick to my stomach than stay home with my mother. I was scared to death of her. While I have tried hard to forgive my mother before she died, I still at this age have a hard time dealing with my past. Even so, things can change. My mother taught me exactly how I did not want to raise my two girls. I don't buy the "well that's the way I was raised" way of raising children. I see and hear parents telling their little ones to "shut up" all the time....those are the same parents who complain about their teens refusing to tell them anything......why should they? They have just spent years telling their children that what they have to say wasn't important.
 
Replied By: smoses80 on Sep 17, 2015, 8:18PM - In reply to debsiedylan
Good for you. We did that also. No need for hitting, ever. Just because people use the excuse that thy were brought up that way doesn't make it right.
 
Replied By: smoses80 on Sep 17, 2015, 8:13PM - In reply to eileenb46
Give them a time frame. "You have 6 months to get a REAL job and save $$ for an apartment. After that we are moving or you are out of here." Then stick to it. It is Your Home. They just live there as they are grown men. Either they will do it or they won't but you have to stick to your word.  Roots to grow and wings to fly. It is the best thing you can do for them. Truly.
 
Replied By: smoses80 on Sep 17, 2015, 7:56PM - In reply to courtbarnes18
Yes,there is a Happy Medium and Your Husband needs to learn that as well as you. Two adults are Parents. One Adults wishes are being completely Ignored. That is on your husband and he is teaching those kids the wrong things. "Who care what Mommy wants Daddy says we can do whatever, whenever". I would show your letter to your husband and make sure he knows that you are serious. Your kids will be better off. If your husband doesn't get 'it' then I suggest some counseling. Parents work together. Respect goes both ways. Your kids are not respecting you because your husband isn't.  Good Luck and Be Strong.
 
Replied By: smoses80 on Sep 17, 2015, 7:49PM - In reply to mikaedi
I disagree with you 100%. I was never spanked. My daughter was never spanked. What is the point? The child does something wrong so you hit them? That is abnormal to me. You raise your children right. You teach them by example. Everyone makes mistakes. Children are just learning. Show respect, give respect. All we had to do was tell our daughter, from the time she was old enough to communicate, that once the trust was broken it would be a long time before it would be back or tell her we were disappointed in her. She got grounded when she was old enough to care. She learned the value of a dollar and her manners. She learned that rules matter for eveyone whether we like them or not. When they are toddlers they should be spanked for their mistakes???? When does it end? When they're 18? Just wrong. My opinion.
 
Replied By: julieagornik on Sep 26, 2014, 12:06AM
Is it ever ok for one parent to openly disagree with the other parent regarding some manner of discipline? I know Dr. Phil feels that parents must present a united front so that children don't figure out a way to divide & conquer. I've also seen Dr. Phil chastise a parent for not stepping in & either stopping or preventing the other parent from harming the child. When do you know that you have to speak up, even in front of the child, to stop whatever is about to happen or is happening?
 
Replied By: mikaedi on Aug 7, 2014, 8:53PM
I cannot understand any right minded person b eing against the spanking of our children, even Dr Phill who I admire a lot for a knowledge and the help he gives and offers to so many people. all my children have been spanked when the need arrises. it is never done where whelts or marks are left and I find effective in curbing and controlling their behaviour.


For those firmly against spanking look around and see how defiant children are nowedays, the liberal ant-spanking brigade has done more hwrm to family stability in their quest to outlaw it as a form of discipline..to go as far as looking on it as child abuse which is ridiculous.
 
Replied By: millika6 on Aug 7, 2014, 5:02PM - In reply to bubbaclam
I appreciate the input from the Marine. 

My husband is also a Marine, and, what I consider, over-disciplines our child.  I don't understand the whole, make-him-a man-by-making-things-very-hard-for-him, approach.  But everything you said sounds just like what he tells me.  His dad was really strict on him, and he thought his dad hated him, but now, looks up to the man like no other.  They were hard on him in the Marine Corps, but has become a better man because of it.  
I guess i'm just having a hard time wrapping my mind around it.

You have put my mind at ease a little, and given me renewed motivation to trust him and God, that no harm will come to my son, and that all is for the good of his upbringing.

Thank you!
 
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