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Adoption

 
Have you adopted a child or are you considering adoption? Or, were you adopted? Have you fostered a child? Did you place a child for adoption and are you eager to reach out to him or her? Share your stories and support for others.
Comments
Replied By: kscann224 on Mar 22, 2015, 3:45PM
I was.adopted at 6 months of age, and I am so tired of hearing other adopted adults blaming their problems on the fact they are adoptef, & don't know who they are. I am the daughter of an FBI agent, a homemaker, & the proud sister of a Boarder Patrol Agent. I am blessed to have been put up for adoption, I was chosen by two wonderful, loving people who wanted to share their life with me, they didnt have to, the wanted to, out of love!! I know exactly who I am & where I come from, my Mom used to read me a poem, " not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, but yet somehow miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute you didn't grow under my heart, bur in it". I am so very blessed to have my parents & brother. If I were to meet the woman that gave me up, I.would thank her for giving me the best family anyone could ask for, so when I hear adopted adults blaming adoption for their problems, I just want to say, take responsibility for your own life, &'the choices you make.
 
Replied By: cmariebrewer75 on Mar 15, 2015, 12:15AM - In reply to elisabetam
I am a 39 year old adoptee whos records were sealed due to it being the 70s. If you have any information on what i could do to find my records i would appreciate it. I am more interested in my medical information than meeting her(leaving that decision up to my biological mother).
 
Replied By: oregonmum on Jan 21, 2015, 10:01PM
I have done a lot of foster care and have adopted. I am disappointed in how fostering is portrayed on your show. I do it because I love the kids and think they have a right to feeling safe and having someone actually show up for them and care and listen to them. It is often mentioned on your show as a negative thing where children will be mistreated and hurt. I just want to remind you that they end up in foster care because their lives were in danger and the foster home is the safe place for them. Not the other way around. Usually the kids need serious help and instead of criticizing foster care it would be nice to here some real advice on how to manage children that have serious issues and how it takes years maybe most of their lifetimes to get healing in their lives. Foster care and adoption of foster children is extremely difficult and it would be nice if there was some advice on how to get healing for these children and some constructive advice on subjects like how to deal with sabatoge behavior, attachment disorders, violent outbursts, etc.
 
Replied By: kheron on Sep 12, 2014, 7:55AM
I am watching an older show on TV this morning and watching 3 women on your panel that has adopted a child from another country.  

We right now as a country are fighting to keep immigrants, including small children out of the country yet we seem to think that its okay if we adopt children from other countries by choice.

Women on your panel and all other women that consider adopting needs to take a good look at our own country, USA!  There are alot of children right here in our own backyard that needs to be taken care of.

If I ever decided to adopt, I definitely would adopt from my own country.  I just don't understand why people have to go out of the country to adopt.  


I definitely don't feel sorry for these women on your panel.  Apparently they did not do their homework. 


I truly feel that alot of international adoption is something that is for women/men that just want to say, yes I adopted an international child.  We need to take care of our children in our country!!




Thank you,


Kelly E. Heron















 
Replied By: brokenheartnes on Aug 21, 2014, 1:21AM
Around two years ago I met a friend via facebook. We will call her Jane. Jane and I really hit it off she was a great friend and had many like life experiences. My husband and I had been talking about adding to our family for sometime.  We are from the central usa and jane from the northern. In January I expressed my desire to have another child to Jane. I didnt feel it wosh for me to carry another pregnancy as my previous had resulted in a micro preemie. Jane almost instantly offered to be our surrogate. In March, my husband and I shipped his sperm to her, where she did a home insemination. Two weeks later we were ecstatic to find Jane was pregnant. At nine weeks we found out it was twins. And at 19 weeks Jane had a cerclage and we found out it was a boy and a girl. We were over the moon. Jane decided at 21.5 weeks to take a job in another state. We were ok with that as we talked everyday and she promised to notify us if anything was even the slight bit off or questionable. We continued to talk everyday for hours and she would always claim the babies to be moving and well. On Wednesday of last week was the last I heard from Jane, only to be told by Janes husband that she had some bleeding and lost the babies two days later. Mind you she was 23.4 weeks. We requested birth/death certificates, anything, any information at all. We have gotten nothing... nothing. We dont even know the day our babies were allegedly born. We dont know at this point whether they made up the whole pregnancy, are still pregnant and plan to sell the babies, or whether the babies really have been born. They will give us nothing. They claim they need a month long cooling off period before they can answer. As well as that they need more and more time. I dont understand why more time is needed to tell the truth. My biggest fear is thatthe babies were born and she refused ttreatment for them and they never felt a second of love while they were here. We will never get to bury our babies, hold them, get pictures. They took that all away. We have contacted a lawyer to get answers but even with the threat of court they have given us no information about our babies once so ever. Our home is so full of stress over this that everyone is on pins and needles. There are so many unanswered questions and we arent sure how to get them. We feel they are requesting more time to be deceptive.  We never pictured our surrogacy and my step parent aadoption ending up this way. Todays show really hit home.
 
Replied By: rawwdacious on Jul 21, 2014, 2:31PM - In reply to sohappysioux
I WENT THROUGH SOMETHING SIMILAR. I WAS ADDICTED TO DRUGS AND LOST MY KIDS DUE TO IT. I LOST MY MIND AFTER THAT AND SLEPT IN ABONDEN HOUSES AND WAS LOST FOR 4 YEARS I CAME ACROSS A SITUATION WHERE I ALMOST LOST MY LIFE AND FOR SOME REASON I DECIDED THAT WAS IT. I GOT A DEGREE GOT MARRIED AND HAVE HAD A JOB FOR A WHILE NOW AND I AM INVOLVED IN MY KIDS LIFE FOR 4 YEARS NOW AND BEEN CLEAN 6 YEARS. I MADE ALOT OF MISTAKES AND ALL I AM NOT PROUD OF BUT THOSE MISTAKES HELPED ME TO BE A BETTER MOTHER TO MY KIDS AND EVEN THOUGH I DONT HAVE THEM LIVING WITH ME I TRY MY BEST TO STAY IN TOUCH EVERY DAY WITH THEM. THEY NOW WANT TO LIVE WITH ME AND SINCE MY AUNT ADOPTED THEM SHE DOESNT WANT TO REVERSE ADOPTION BECAUSE SHE GOT ATTACHED. I WOULD LOVE FOR THEM TO BE WITH ME BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO REVERSE AN ADOPTION. I HEARD IF THE CHILD IS 15 AND OLDER THAT IT WOULD BE CONSIDERED AND MY GIRLS ARE 16, 15, AND 12. BUT HOW CAN I DO THIS WITHOUT RISKING THE FACT OF NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE THEM?
 
Replied By: sweetmelis25 on May 28, 2014, 10:22AM
The end of March we were chosen as potential adoptive parents of a baby boy.  We, along with our case worker believed that everything was going well.  We had the room ready, clothes & everything all ready to go.  The baby was born the middle of May.  I was there soon after his birth & my husband & daughter arrived later.  We all had that bonding time with our little guy.  Our daughter is 7 & it breaks my heart that she had a little brother for a few hours & he was literally ripped from our arms & our lives.  I am so heart broken & also very mad.  I'm not mad at her or that she changed her mind, I'm disappointed in that.  I am mad that if she was having a change of heart I wish that she would have said something before my daughter arrived.  As a parent I would do anything to protect my child & I feel that I let her down.  Now we have this bedroom ready for a little guy who will never be there.  I pray that we will be able to adopt soon, I just feel so let down that I am discouraged.  I feel for anyone who has ever had to go through this.

Our daughter is also adopted & I know that every experience is different.  We want to adopt more children so badly that I feel that is all I think about.  I don't know what I am hoping to come from posting on this message board, but any support from others is appreciated.  Thank you!
 
Replied By: elisabetam on May 15, 2014, 1:35PM
You know, Mother's Day has just passed us and I was thinking about both my Mothers this year.  

I met my biological Mother in 2007.  She lives just 40 minutes from me and has for my entire life.  She and I have a lot in common; particular the penchant for dying our hair red for some odd reason.  And we like the same color of dye for red hair.

I was adopted when I was 5 months old.  My adoptive parents were 35 years old when they adopted me.  They had tried to have children of their own, but my A-Mom had 5 miscarriages before they decided to adopt.  I found out I was adopted when I was 5 years old.  My A-parents came to me and told me that I was going to be a big sister; they were having a baby.  They wanted me to know that even though I was adopted - meaning I was not blood related to them, I was still their daughter and this new child would be treated the same as they treated me (which was relatively superb as far as I'm concerned.)  21 days after I turned 6, here came Timothy - my little brother.

When I met my B-Mom, I found out I have a half brother who is exactly 1 year and 2 months younger than me - to the day; and 2 half sisters.  I am doomed to be the oldest no matter with which family I am.

My B-Mom is 60 now; getting close to retirement.  My A-Mom passed over in April 2010 at age 76.  I was thinking about both of them recently because thanks to both of them I am the Mom I am now.  If my B-Mom had not followed the advice of her Mother and brother, I would not have been my A-Mom's daughter.  If I had not had an A-Mom like the one I had, I wouldn't know what it is like to be accepted whether you are blood or not.

Every child/teen/college kid who walks through my door calls me "Mom"...always has and they always will.  I accept them for who they are. I talk to them when they need an ear to bend.  I feed them like I do my own children and step-children.  We joke, play games, watch movies, go to events and weather the tough stuff together.  My children's friends know to just call me "Mom" - there is no "Mrs. Lewis" here, or Ms. Chris.

I do not know my biological father, although I have a name.  But, when Father's Day rolls around, I have an 80 year old A-Dad that will be just as doted on and loved as my A-Mom and B-Mom were and are.  If he ever stops picking on me, I will know something is wrong.  
 
Replied By: achndl95 on May 11, 2014, 12:27PM - In reply to sohappysioux
I agree with you completly.  My children share a bio mom who lost them to drugs.  I always tell my kids that their birth mom loved them (she is dead now).  She had a disease that she could not beat.  I never bad mouth their bio mom.
 
Replied By: achndl95 on May 11, 2014, 12:21PM
I am 42.  I have two adopted kids that we fostered for nineteen months.  It has been truly a labor of love.  My kids were 6 and 6months when they came to me.  I feel that the classes that we had to take for our state did not adequately prepare us for raising emotionally damaged children.  I also feel that we were not told of alot of the damage that they suffered at the hands of their birth mom.  


The biggest issues have been with my son.  In this last year he hasbeen ddiagnosed with bipolar and then changed to RAD.  He is very defiant and disrespectful.   He screams and yells alot.  My son just turned 8. This past friday I saw the show about violent kids. What I saw was scary because I saw my son in those kids.  He has already gotten so angry that he took his father's knife and threatened at least five kids.  He has had some sexually acting out behavior.  He curses out other kids as well.  I don't know how to handle him.  He is not at grade level at school either academicly or socially.  He does not keep friends long.  He is calms and sweet some of the time and other times be is very angry.


My husband I of almost 19 years of marriage have recently split.   Our marriage is done.  Now I am alone in handling my son's behavior.

 
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