Teen Talk

  Are you hanging out with the wrong crowd?
  Do you suffer from low self-esteem?
  Is there peer pressure at school to join a gang, drink, smoke or have sex?
  Do you have friends who are drinking and driving, and you're worried?
  Feel misunderstood by your parents?
  Fear that you're headed down the wrong path in life?
  Know someone in an abusive relationship? Is she too frightened or embarrassed to talk to her parents? Is she afraid to leave her boyfriend?
  Are you the one who has attacked your girlfriend? Do you struggle with anger issues but don't know how to ask for help?

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Replied By: funnyguy99 on Apr 27, 2013, 6:06PM - In reply to allisonk678
Hi. i was just looking at some posts and found yours. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I can't say I can relate so much because I was an only child growing up. I do have a step brother, but I never lived with him, and I also have a half brother who is adopted and 17 years younger than I am, but he lives with my dad and stepmom at another location. But I was bullied from 2nd grade all the way through 12th grade and I think I may have some things I can tell you that I have seen over and over again and learned from. First of all you have to remember that NONE OF THIS is about you or anyone else that he bullies. It is about him. As you said, he has been bullied himself. When you've been bullied for a while a lot of people, not everyone, but a alot, will get into this mode that they are so tired of being bullied they get into the mentality of "get them before they get me". Even as you said when you were born he felt that you were trying to steal the relationship between him and your parents all for yourself. So after he was bullied and coming home and breaking things and damaging things, he decided he would make you not like him so much that you would not say a word to him-because he was afraid by the time you learned to talk that you would be bullying him. Remember I said he seems to have that mentality  of "get them before they get me". When people pick on other people there is usually someething that they don't like about themselves. It seems your brother was bullied so much that he started to believe the lies that I'm SURE these bullies told him: "You're not worth anything! Can't you do anything right? You are a waste of space on this planet! You're stupid, you're ugly,...." things like that. I know because I went through the same thing. I was never picked on by my brothers because I didn't get any until I was 14 and 17 and neither one of them did I live with. I was picked on by other students in school. I had a lot of health issues when I was growing up. When I was 7 years old I got the e-coli virus from chickenpox-not hamburger meat-chickenpox. The chickenpox got inside of my intestines and the legions were infected with the e-coli. I almost died. My kidneys failed and I had to go on dialysis for a while. My kidney function by the grace of God came back up on it's own, although they said one day I would need a transplant. But I did get off the dialysis for 7 years before I needed one. I also lost a lot of hearing due to the large amounts of antibiotics that I had to have to fight off the e-coli. But it was eithe hearing or my life. I was in the hospital for 9 1/2 weeks before we got to go home. I had to have most of lmy large intestines removed. I also wound up getting juvenille rheumatoid arthritis in 1995 which I still have to this day at 27. I had my transplant in 1999 with complications along the way, and in 2004 just before I graduated high school I wound up losing a lot of my white blood cells and red blood cells. A miracle happened and overnight after a two week stay at the hospital everything came back. I also have addison's disease. (You can google that one). I tell you all of my health history for 1 reason: that's what I was picked on for. I was being picked on for things that I could not help, but now I know it had nothing to do with me. Whoever was doing the bullying had issues of their own and were taking their frustrations out on me. First of all, tell your parents what's going on. If you have to hide a camcorder somewhere and secretly tape one of these confrontations you have with him. Show the tape to your parents but make sure they don't tell him you taped it or even that they saw the video. Maybe that will show them they he needs to get some help. About the anorexia thing, I'm not an expert but I don't think he sounds like an anorexic. An anorexic would not be asking for someone to remind them to eat. They don't want to eat period. Bulemics want to eat, but they purge it up later, but they don't need to be reminded to eat. I need to tell you again, it sounds like the "get them before they get me" mentality going on. He needs to understand that not everyone is out to get him. He needs a support system. He needs his family and  it sounds like he needs some intense therapy that helped me a lot. Know that I am not a doctor of any sort, I am just telling you what I know from personal experience. Sit down with your parents and tell them how bad it is. Also, I'm not coming down on you here, but I noticed you said you did a little bullying from time to time. You seem like a good person who has love in their heart. Don't be bullying anyone. It's unbecoming of you and the good heart I can tell you have. Support those who need it. Again  I can tell you love your brother and family very much, and my hunch is your brother loves you too, he's just afraid to let his guard down to show it and tell you right now. Also, I would pray hard. God has been very important to me in my life and has gotten me through some of the most horrific things a child could go through. I know he can get you through this. Remember God loves you very much, so much so he sent his one and only Son to die for you. I hope things work out for you and your family, and if you can, let me know how things turn out. Also have you thought about writing to Dr. Phil about this? He may can help. Again God bless you and if you need to talk I am here on the web. By the way, I'm an aspiring stand-up-comic now and have used some of my experiences to make others laugh, proof you can get through this. God bless you and your family.
Replied By: robert007 on Mar 26, 2013, 1:15PM
I'm a decent student, i try really hard. I am a full time level 10 gymnast and student, and also take tutoring from Sylvan to help my grades. I really care about my future, but my problem is lack of support. My mom loves me and she takes me to gymnastics all the time.  The only thing is I was accepted to represent California at Regionals in the Level 10 division in about a week, but my mom is saying she doesn't have enough money. I'm worried I won't get to go. I know it sounds silly and cliche, but it's NOT FAIR that I work so hard, and I work part time in all my spare time, and literally have no time at all for myself or even friend relationships, and then THIS happens, and all of my hard work has been for nothing, it feels like. How do I overcome things like this, how do I make this work???  I want this so badly, but what do I do if I cannot go???
Replied By: allisonk678 on Jan 31, 2013, 8:36AM
I have been bullied before and I admit that I have been a bully at times, as well, but I'm not nearly as bad as my older brother. He is now 20 years old. All my life, he has been horribly mean to me. He always felt jealous of me because he thought that I stole our parents' attention as soon as I was born. He claimed that he was bullied in elementary school, and for that reason, he always came home from school angry and would go straight up to his room and hit things, throw glass things at the wall and break them, destroy things with a baseball bat, etc. It was SO scary. He would yell at my parents and I and just FREAK  OUT at anything and everything. When he was in 8th grade, he started dressing in all black, with wrist cuffs to cover up what he said he had been doing or wanted to do: cut himself. His freshman year of high school, he was at a new school and he's always had trouble making friends because he expects the world to kiss his rear end and worship him, so he got really depressed and told my parents that spring that he needed help. He was hospitalized for a week or two and put on suicide watch, and left school to get I guess private tutoring at the hospital or something. That summer, all he did was bully me. Our parents both worked, so they didn't see much of the bullying, and whenever I'd tell them about it or they would witness it, they wouldn't talk to him or discipline him because they didn't know how he would react. He was THAT on-edge. Ever since then, he's been a complete jerk. He still plays XBOX and gets on XBOX-Live. The things he says to people on there are so horrible. He criticizes people for how they speak, how they play, every single little thing they do, he has to comment on. Back when I was in high school and he was, too, people would come to me with complaints about him. My friends would say that he was trying to talk to them on MySpace, one friend had a fling with him and apparently he wouldn't leave her alone and kept harrassing her, and friends of mine who worked with him at a local pizza joint complained that he was incredibly rude to them and apparently used drugs at work. One of my best friends constantly complained to me that my brother made fun of his car, would try to race him, and would insult him and his friends. My brother's most recent ex-girlfriend texts me sometimes, asking me to watch him because he told her that if she doesn't move out here to be with him, he's going to kill himself. The thing about my brother is that he hates himself. He hates himself so much that he forces himself to believe the whole world hates him and is out to get him. He will scan a crowd of strangers to see if anyone is looking at him. If anyone (even a family member such as myself) so much as glances in his direction, he automatically gets defensive and starts thinking or saying rude things. I remember one time, I was in the car with him and his girlfriend. We were stopped at a red light, and he looked at the car in the lane next to us. It was some girl in a somewhat sporty coupe, minding her own business, not even noticing my brother, and he randomly says "Look at that stupid c***, acting as if her piece of s*** car is something special, wanting to race me. F****** b****." I couldn't believe it. He had no idea who the girl was, the girl hadn't even looked at him; she was just sitting in her car!! I feel like he could  definitely use some therapy. He moved back in with us (my parents and I) and now he's been telling my mom to remind him to eat. Like I said, he's freaking 20 years old. It's rare to hear him say something nice or see him do something nice for someone else or to be smiling. Should I try to get my parents to put him in therapy? I feel like he must have some kind of personality disorder because I haven't met anyone else who acts as strangely and horribly as he does. This has definitely affected my relationship with him and the relationship I have with my parents. I didn't speak to my brother for about 5 or 6 months, and then he moved in with us. We have a very small apartment, so imagine how much fun I've been having.. He's still the same a**hole he's always been to me, so I don't look at him or speak to him because I'm afraid of what he'll say to tear me down. He used to call me ugly and say I'm a b**** like all the time. I don't want that to start again. I don't need his negative influence in my life. I barely talk to my parents when he's around because anything that I say, he feels the need to add some comment to it that's dripping with disdain. I don't know what to do. I mean, his ex says that right now, he's depressed and suicidal again, and apparently he's trying to convince my mom that he's borderline anorexic or some crap because he asked her to remind him to eat, so.. Ugh I don't know what to do and I'm afraid to stand up to him because he always lashes back in the worst way. What do I do??
Replied By: tumblinglynn16 on Jan 19, 2013, 1:10AM
Everyone's life is tough in some way or another. Bad things happen sometimes to very good people. It's what you do with the bad things that have happened that counts. I was raised in a Christian home, i have attended church all of my life. I got saved at the age of four. My parents divorced when I was 9. Since then I have been emotionally, physically and mentally abused by my father. I confronted him on some things and he didn't like it so he kicked me out of his mothers house on one of the weekends he had me and my sisters and I haven't seen him in over 7 months. He's called maybe once and I only to blame me. I've been disowned. Not only by him, but he told his whole side of the family something I guesss, because my aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, everyone on that side will not talk to me I ran into one of my cousins at a church about a week ago and he looked straight through me like I wasn't there. I didn't pick up on it when I was really young but as i got older i noticed some of the things my two older cousins did to me wasn't normal... I had been molested by my two older cousins that I had trusted, I was so young I just didn't realize it til later. Once I got older they still tried things here or there but I knew better by this point so id say no or keep my distance from them, that didn't stop them from trying to stick there hands down my shirt. 
Around the time of my dad disowning me my best friend kinda fell off the face of the earth, i used him to vent to. He dissappeared and things were back to me holding my feelings/ thoughts in. I struggle with anxiety and depression I have  since the divorce. I was having panic attacks very often. My mom had to take me to the hospital after a really bad one to get me calmed down. They put me on medicine, it wasn't helping, they made me very sick, it was hard to keep food down.  i considered suicide, but I knew i'd never be strong enough to end my own life. I was struggling with alot i felt helplessly lost. I was facing a storm, I was on a boat and simply drifting further and further away from shore, from saftey. I felt my faith and belief in God slipping. I forced myself to start attending youth group at a different church then the one i was attending sunday mornings. Youth group was sunday nights. After attending youth group for a few weeks I noticed a change. I wasn't as anxious, I wasn't as down and depressed as usual and I knew right then it wasn't because of my medicine. After about a couple months I stopped taking my medicine altogether. I wasn't really suppose to so my mom got mad, but now she's rather happy. I've been doing fine, it's been a little over a month no panic attacks, no anything, i'm drastically happier, and I am still attending the little youth group that helped get my life back on track. Moral of story. There's alot of different people with alot of differnt problems, You need to stay positive no matter what, you can't give up, You gotta trust in God. You don't belive in him? Give him a chance and see the difference he can make in your life. Take your problems and use them to help people who are struggling with the same thing you use to be struggling with. Don't hold everything in, believe me there was ALOT more to my story then what I wrote, but it'd be to long to write. point is, You are always going to face a "storm" or trial, you have to have the strength to stand up against it. Be strong. Live day by day, Pray for guidance, and Press forward. You can make it! Things will always  get worse before they'll get better, but they will always get better. Just hold on to Hope.
Replied By: abbietee on Dec 30, 2012, 7:20PM
I am currently 17 and I haven't had the best experience growing up from the age of 11. I used to live in this little, secluded village about 20 miles away from where I live now. Everyone knew everyone else (including their business) and I felt happy and safe and at home there. I would always go out with friends because I had a fair few friends. I was always happy. Everyone always wanted to hang out with me because I could put them in a good mood no matter what. Come 2006 my parents decided to move. We went to see a school, after they'd bought a house, and it was... different. I remember hearing people yell things at me when we walked past the classrooms and people just looking at me like they didn't want me anywhere near them. That was just the start. The bullying happened from, pretty much, day 1. Bearing in mind I didn't even know what bullying was really because I'd never experienced it before. They mocked me, called me names, pushed me around, made me do things and then got me in trouble for it. That was just in primary school. (I live in the UK and we have nursery, primary and secondary schools but they are just the equivalent of elementary, middle and high schools in the US)

Come August 2007 it was time for me to move up to secondary school. By this point, the bullying at primary had escalated then calmed down a fair bit. However, the secondary school was, obviously, a lot bigger and had a lot more people. I mean, at primary there were maybe 40 people max. who bullied me and now there were more than 100 just in my year, never mind the rest of the school. It escalated a lot further. I went from happy and smiling all the time to miserable and never wanting to go out. I was extremely smart, and still am, so I tried to ignore it because I'd read online that was the best thing to do. Rumours started flying around. Suddenly I was being called a slut or an emo around the halls and in class. Even though I understood a lot about the world for my age and I understood what they were saying I didn't understand why they were saying these things. I asked my parents probably a dozen or so times to move me out of the school. They never understood why and always said no. When they asked why I wanted to move they didn't believe me when I told them what had been going on. I stopped talking to them about things. They didn't notice how miserable I'd become. It was at the stage where I was crying myself to sleep every night and I didn't want to go in to school. I would even go to school and go straight to the nurses office by 10 o'clock, an hour after school started, and feign illness.

Around summer 2008 things had gotten pretty much as bad as they could but I had 8 weeks off school to forget about it. I was 13 and on holiday, I met this guy. He was 17 but when I came home we still kept in touch. He played a large part in my life a few years later when I was 16 and 17. He was 20/21. We basically dated but technically weren't boyfriend and girlfriend. All my parents could do when I was talking to him was ask about us. Eventually I got tired of being interrogated and told them we'd stopped talking. About 2 months ago I was about to tell my parents we were talking again until I got a text one day saying that he didn't want to speak to me ever again and that it wasn't me it was him and that he was sorry and loved me. It broke my heart because I was, I believe, literally in love with him. I felt like we were connected by wires and I was constantly being pulled towards him. I felt like there was no other man in the world I would love as much. That may sound ridiculous because I'm only 17 but I know what I felt. Anyway, back to the bullying. 

When I went back to school in August 2008 it didn't take long for the bullying to kick off. So I was having to deal with that on a daily basis and it got worse. People started saying that the world would be a better place without me, that I should crawl under a bridge and die etc. Then in the October my mum started to get ill. She wasn't admitted to hospital until she was really ill in the start of December and I nearly lost her. Luckily, she got better but things at school still worsened. People were starting more and more rumours on, it seemed like, a daily basis and they also started saying things like if they had a gun they'd shoot me first. I started feeling depressed, I guess, because I didn't know how to deal with all of this. In the January I started having suicidal thoughts and I managed to tell my best friend from my old village and she helped me through for a couple of weeks. I really just gave up around the start of February and one night I waited for my parents to go out shopping before going downstairs and in to the medicine cabinet. I took a box of painkillers out and started popping them. Just before I got to the 3rd one I remembered what my best friend had told me. She'd told me that it was not the right thing to do and that if I did it then "the bullies will think they've won!" I put the pills away and went back upstairs. I wasn't going to let someone think they'd won and I lost when it came to my life. The strength I had that night made me a happier person for a while. Come October I was starting to slide again because I was caught up in a abusive friendship with someone. She would basically just kick me around and bring me down on myself all the time, blame everything on me. I was desperate and decided a plea for help might work. Only thing was, I had trouble asking for help because I was so used to helping myself 9 times out of 10. Unfortunately, I said something that got me in a lot of trouble. My parents wouldn't talk to me for 3 months. Eventually, I taught myself how to deal with it and things gradually got better. Now the bullying is basically none existant, thank God.

I do feel a lot better about myself and I am definitely a lot more confident but I still feel this little bit of something. Maybe guilt or shame about what I tried to do and the fact that the only person who knew about it was me. I've tried to help the situation. I made a video about my experiences with bullying for the junior kids to watch in Anti-Bullying Week this year. I told a teacher that I could trust about what I had done after I went to talk to them about one of my friends cutting himself (also, I never self-harmed because I couldn't bring myself to damage my appearance and I didn't want to be left with a permanent mark from a temporary problem). The only people who don't know about it, but probably should, are my parents. There is one very good reason that I can't tell them though. They have some extreme views, I suppose you could say, about certain issues. One of them is suicide. Their basic thought is that if someone is born and then kills themself before old age can kill them then were they ever deserving of being on this earth? I cannot tell my parents that I attempted suicide and I have made my peace with that but I still have this feeling at the back of my mind. Sometimes I'll just be sitting in class and my thoughts will drift to this moment in time and it constantly haunts me. I don't know what else I can do to get closure for myself on the matter. Please Dr Phil, if you read this, please help if you can. All I want is to not feel this guilt or shame or whatever this feeling is that I have. I just want to have closure for myself.
Replied By: scaredteen101 on Dec 16, 2012, 4:57PM
I have been doing online dating trying to find the right guy. I tfounding have found him but the problem is I never even met him. I am to scared to tell my parents about him and I want to tell them but I am so scared about they will say... Please help!
Replied By: kaydbug on Nov 4, 2012, 11:01PM - In reply to monrousia
when i can't do anything else for someone i can pray for them and thats what i am going to do for you. I hope you would consider the same, when you think no one is listening GOD is. Believe me when you think things are bad for you it can most always be worse. I have lost a son to cancer and been through many other terrible things but God says he won't put more on us that we can take so i believe that because he has been there for me. maybe helping someone else would make you feel better like lending a hand at a homeless shelter or a food bank or even an animal shelter. if you need someone to talk to  their are help lines out there. i wish you luck.
Replied By: kaydbug on Nov 4, 2012, 10:39PM - In reply to smithgoshen02
Replied By: smithgoshen02 on Nov 4, 2012, 11:14AM
Okay, so Em Smith is not my real name.. I am from Canada and i am 17 years old i am a senior and im on a volleyball. Scholarship for next year for a big university team & where il get my elementary education degree.

Some would say i have a bright future, but you cant say that without looking at my horible past. I had ann abortion with my boyfriend who've iv been dating for a year now and we got it in April 2012, nov 1st i found out i an pregnant again. His parents never knew the first time, just my parents. Now the second time just my mom knows and she is frustraded. I made a huge mistake. All i did was miss one pill. I dont know if this is fate or what. Is getting ANOTHER abortion make me a bad person? My boyfriend dosent want this baby, and i need his support not only finiancally but i need him to father my baby aswell. I feel alone and confused, at times i want to end my life but i know that is for the weak and i am strong.
Replied By: monrousia on Oct 30, 2012, 11:10AM
I've sent replies to this website for a few months and noting seems to be getting through. Both parents are not working and we are trying to survive on minimum resources and i cant bare it. We are down to maybe a tenth of the income we were getting last november and it is getting to the point of a decision. I dont want to kill myself or anyone else becasuse i know it will hurt others more than me and i cant do that. My dad tried going back to school but kept getting sick (stomach problems sense he was a kid)and that is why he cant hold a job anymore. My mom does the minimum for looking for a job and just keeps texting on her cell phone and layng down. I dont know what to do, everyday i am closer to blowing up and i cant control it anymore.
Showing 51-60 of total 61 Comments