Teen Talk

 
  Are you hanging out with the wrong crowd?
  Do you suffer from low self-esteem?
  Is there peer pressure at school to join a gang, drink, smoke or have sex?
  Do you have friends who are drinking and driving, and you're worried?
  Feel misunderstood by your parents?
  Fear that you're headed down the wrong path in life?
  Know someone in an abusive relationship? Is she too frightened or embarrassed to talk to her parents? Is she afraid to leave her boyfriend?
  Are you the one who has attacked your girlfriend? Do you struggle with anger issues but don't know how to ask for help?

Share your dilemmas and get advice from others.

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Comments
Replied By: abbietee on Dec 30, 2012, 7:20PM
I am currently 17 and I haven't had the best experience growing up from the age of 11. I used to live in this little, secluded village about 20 miles away from where I live now. Everyone knew everyone else (including their business) and I felt happy and safe and at home there. I would always go out with friends because I had a fair few friends. I was always happy. Everyone always wanted to hang out with me because I could put them in a good mood no matter what. Come 2006 my parents decided to move. We went to see a school, after they'd bought a house, and it was... different. I remember hearing people yell things at me when we walked past the classrooms and people just looking at me like they didn't want me anywhere near them. That was just the start. The bullying happened from, pretty much, day 1. Bearing in mind I didn't even know what bullying was really because I'd never experienced it before. They mocked me, called me names, pushed me around, made me do things and then got me in trouble for it. That was just in primary school. (I live in the UK and we have nursery, primary and secondary schools but they are just the equivalent of elementary, middle and high schools in the US)

Come August 2007 it was time for me to move up to secondary school. By this point, the bullying at primary had escalated then calmed down a fair bit. However, the secondary school was, obviously, a lot bigger and had a lot more people. I mean, at primary there were maybe 40 people max. who bullied me and now there were more than 100 just in my year, never mind the rest of the school. It escalated a lot further. I went from happy and smiling all the time to miserable and never wanting to go out. I was extremely smart, and still am, so I tried to ignore it because I'd read online that was the best thing to do. Rumours started flying around. Suddenly I was being called a slut or an emo around the halls and in class. Even though I understood a lot about the world for my age and I understood what they were saying I didn't understand why they were saying these things. I asked my parents probably a dozen or so times to move me out of the school. They never understood why and always said no. When they asked why I wanted to move they didn't believe me when I told them what had been going on. I stopped talking to them about things. They didn't notice how miserable I'd become. It was at the stage where I was crying myself to sleep every night and I didn't want to go in to school. I would even go to school and go straight to the nurses office by 10 o'clock, an hour after school started, and feign illness.

Around summer 2008 things had gotten pretty much as bad as they could but I had 8 weeks off school to forget about it. I was 13 and on holiday, I met this guy. He was 17 but when I came home we still kept in touch. He played a large part in my life a few years later when I was 16 and 17. He was 20/21. We basically dated but technically weren't boyfriend and girlfriend. All my parents could do when I was talking to him was ask about us. Eventually I got tired of being interrogated and told them we'd stopped talking. About 2 months ago I was about to tell my parents we were talking again until I got a text one day saying that he didn't want to speak to me ever again and that it wasn't me it was him and that he was sorry and loved me. It broke my heart because I was, I believe, literally in love with him. I felt like we were connected by wires and I was constantly being pulled towards him. I felt like there was no other man in the world I would love as much. That may sound ridiculous because I'm only 17 but I know what I felt. Anyway, back to the bullying. 

When I went back to school in August 2008 it didn't take long for the bullying to kick off. So I was having to deal with that on a daily basis and it got worse. People started saying that the world would be a better place without me, that I should crawl under a bridge and die etc. Then in the October my mum started to get ill. She wasn't admitted to hospital until she was really ill in the start of December and I nearly lost her. Luckily, she got better but things at school still worsened. People were starting more and more rumours on, it seemed like, a daily basis and they also started saying things like if they had a gun they'd shoot me first. I started feeling depressed, I guess, because I didn't know how to deal with all of this. In the January I started having suicidal thoughts and I managed to tell my best friend from my old village and she helped me through for a couple of weeks. I really just gave up around the start of February and one night I waited for my parents to go out shopping before going downstairs and in to the medicine cabinet. I took a box of painkillers out and started popping them. Just before I got to the 3rd one I remembered what my best friend had told me. She'd told me that it was not the right thing to do and that if I did it then "the bullies will think they've won!" I put the pills away and went back upstairs. I wasn't going to let someone think they'd won and I lost when it came to my life. The strength I had that night made me a happier person for a while. Come October I was starting to slide again because I was caught up in a abusive friendship with someone. She would basically just kick me around and bring me down on myself all the time, blame everything on me. I was desperate and decided a plea for help might work. Only thing was, I had trouble asking for help because I was so used to helping myself 9 times out of 10. Unfortunately, I said something that got me in a lot of trouble. My parents wouldn't talk to me for 3 months. Eventually, I taught myself how to deal with it and things gradually got better. Now the bullying is basically none existant, thank God.

I do feel a lot better about myself and I am definitely a lot more confident but I still feel this little bit of something. Maybe guilt or shame about what I tried to do and the fact that the only person who knew about it was me. I've tried to help the situation. I made a video about my experiences with bullying for the junior kids to watch in Anti-Bullying Week this year. I told a teacher that I could trust about what I had done after I went to talk to them about one of my friends cutting himself (also, I never self-harmed because I couldn't bring myself to damage my appearance and I didn't want to be left with a permanent mark from a temporary problem). The only people who don't know about it, but probably should, are my parents. There is one very good reason that I can't tell them though. They have some extreme views, I suppose you could say, about certain issues. One of them is suicide. Their basic thought is that if someone is born and then kills themself before old age can kill them then were they ever deserving of being on this earth? I cannot tell my parents that I attempted suicide and I have made my peace with that but I still have this feeling at the back of my mind. Sometimes I'll just be sitting in class and my thoughts will drift to this moment in time and it constantly haunts me. I don't know what else I can do to get closure for myself on the matter. Please Dr Phil, if you read this, please help if you can. All I want is to not feel this guilt or shame or whatever this feeling is that I have. I just want to have closure for myself.
 
Replied By: scaredteen101 on Dec 16, 2012, 4:57PM
I have been doing online dating trying to find the right guy. I tfounding have found him but the problem is I never even met him. I am to scared to tell my parents about him and I want to tell them but I am so scared about they will say... Please help!
 
Replied By: kaydbug on Nov 4, 2012, 11:01PM - In reply to monrousia
when i can't do anything else for someone i can pray for them and thats what i am going to do for you. I hope you would consider the same, when you think no one is listening GOD is. Believe me when you think things are bad for you it can most always be worse. I have lost a son to cancer and been through many other terrible things but God says he won't put more on us that we can take so i believe that because he has been there for me. maybe helping someone else would make you feel better like lending a hand at a homeless shelter or a food bank or even an animal shelter. if you need someone to talk to  their are help lines out there. i wish you luck.
 
Replied By: kaydbug on Nov 4, 2012, 10:39PM - In reply to smithgoshen02
GOOD GRIEF KEEP YOUR PANTS ON AND YOU CAN'T GET PREGNANT. YOUR MOM SHOULD BE FRUSTRATED AFTER ONE ABORTION. YOUR 17 GET AND EDUCATION AND A CAREER GOING BEFORE YOU DO ADULT THINGS BABIES ARE NOT PAPER PLATES TO BE THROWN AWAY. FOCUS ON SOMETHING BESIDES SEX YOU HAVE PLENTY OF TIME FOR THAT IN THE YEARS TO COME.
 
Replied By: smithgoshen02 on Nov 4, 2012, 11:14AM
Okay, so Em Smith is not my real name.. I am from Canada and i am 17 years old i am a senior and im on a volleyball. Scholarship for next year for a big university team & where il get my elementary education degree.




Some would say i have a bright future, but you cant say that without looking at my horible past. I had ann abortion with my boyfriend who've iv been dating for a year now and we got it in April 2012, nov 1st i found out i an pregnant again. His parents never knew the first time, just my parents. Now the second time just my mom knows and she is frustraded. I made a huge mistake. All i did was miss one pill. I dont know if this is fate or what. Is getting ANOTHER abortion make me a bad person? My boyfriend dosent want this baby, and i need his support not only finiancally but i need him to father my baby aswell. I feel alone and confused, at times i want to end my life but i know that is for the weak and i am strong.
 
Replied By: monrousia on Oct 30, 2012, 11:10AM
I've sent replies to this website for a few months and noting seems to be getting through. Both parents are not working and we are trying to survive on minimum resources and i cant bare it. We are down to maybe a tenth of the income we were getting last november and it is getting to the point of a decision. I dont want to kill myself or anyone else becasuse i know it will hurt others more than me and i cant do that. My dad tried going back to school but kept getting sick (stomach problems sense he was a kid)and that is why he cant hold a job anymore. My mom does the minimum for looking for a job and just keeps texting on her cell phone and layng down. I dont know what to do, everyday i am closer to blowing up and i cant control it anymore.
 
Replied By: monrousia on Oct 30, 2012, 11:09AM
I've sent replies to this website for a few months and noting seems to be getting through. Both parents are not working and we are trying to survive on minimum resources and i cant bare it. We are down to maybe a tenth of the income we were getting last november and it is getting to the point of a decision. I dont want to kill myself or anyone else becasuse i know it will hurt others more than me and i cant do that. My dad tried going back to school but kept getting sick (stomach problems sense he was a kid)and that is why he cant hold a job anymore. My mom does the minimum for looking for a job and just keeps texting on her cell phone and layng down.
I dont know what to do, everyday i am closer to blowing up and i cant control it anymore. 
Please Help!
 
Showing 51-57 of total 57 Comments