Teen Talk

  Are you hanging out with the wrong crowd?
  Do you suffer from low self-esteem?
  Is there peer pressure at school to join a gang, drink, smoke or have sex?
  Do you have friends who are drinking and driving, and you're worried?
  Feel misunderstood by your parents?
  Fear that you're headed down the wrong path in life?
  Know someone in an abusive relationship? Is she too frightened or embarrassed to talk to her parents? Is she afraid to leave her boyfriend?
  Are you the one who has attacked your girlfriend? Do you struggle with anger issues but don't know how to ask for help?

Share your dilemmas and get advice from others.

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Replied By: outcyder on Jan 5, 2014, 12:06AM - In reply to selfdoubting
you are a great writer. you write like me. people will only understand what i say when they read the next sentence. its like you hear a boom, and then explain that you just dropped you book.

It seems like you know the answer to your questions.. i see them in your thoughts.

which shows me, you are a bright person. confused by your concience and the people around you that are messing with your brain..

its 1:30am. Im not sleeping, i didnt shower. im writting to a stranger online.


because it makes me feel better about myself. Someimtes i give the best advice to people, when im desperatley seeking for that advice myself. I know what has to be done. I know what I am capable of and I know who i am. But im so lazy to push myself, that I get so caught up in my web and i cry. WHY?!

everyone craves attention. they need love. do you have that? i feel your frustration. its like trying to see without your glasses. you cant. you can cry and beg god to help you, but you know that you cant see.

you need to find your glasses honey. you need to get that someone who can help you see how amazing you are.

dont be desperate. be blind. be yourself. dont act like you can see and you just need someone to tell you some good things about yourself so you can get on with your day.

be that girl who cant see. who is willing to work with someone who can. who will bend for that person that can either be your glasses (boyfriend) or find your glasses for you (a friend)

but whats most important, is that you listen to your self. what your heart tells you. don't try any thing that will rob you of being the best you can be. love yourself and be proud of who you are.
Replied By: outcyder on Jan 4, 2014, 11:49PM - In reply to iamme23
I do not know you, or how you look. But I know you are troubled and you are seeking out for help. Just listen to your heart. . . Talk to yourself and laugh in the mirror. . . Don't think about the way you look. . . I used to have two different kinds of walks. One inside the house, and the other for the outside world. I had two different smiles. One for the house, and one for the outside world. One day I was walking and I thought someone else was breathing for me. I was too busy focusing on being someone (Who Knows who that person might be: I watch a lot of movies) instead of finding who I AM. It wasn't fair what I was doing to myself. It was a game. And I was playing it all by myself. Everyone who tried helping me, i found a way to shut them out. I pushed them away, because I was enjoying my game. Until I became sick. I started losing my hair. My skin was fugly. And my body started shuting down on me. Imagine what it's like to have oil on your wet skin... its uncomfortable, and those two substances don't mix. no matter what you do, you can't make them mix together naturally. They are two different things. You cant synthesize them to be the same, because then we arent playing with oil and water anymore. Life is the same way. No one is like you. you have to think of yourself as the WATER, (or the oil, whatever sounds more appealing) and the whole world is opposite. You are different. Just because we eat the same food doesn't mean we are the same people. Just because we have the same color skin, or name, or sex, or nationality, or parents dosent mean I am you. You're god damn special. And you should treat yourself to make you happy. You're still a teen! You're body will change everyday! You can't force it to be what you see it being. let it happen on its own... honey, eat if you want. and if you don't want, don't eat. and if you feel fat or need to feel lighter... laugh! it makes you healthier. I bet you are constantly thinking about your image. but you should be thinking about your health. because once your body starts shuting down you have no control. you panic and then you might do stupid shit. once a roller coaster is falling, you can't stop it, gravity will push it down and all hell breaks lose. protect the skin you are in. fuck everyone. if you must, dont make eye contact to the people that make you feel uncomfortable about yourself. I wish I knew this sooner. Because I wouldn't be the way i am now if i didn't stop hurting myself mentally with my weight. Take care.
Replied By: iamme23 on Jan 2, 2014, 6:21PM
So I'm 14, and I weigh 99lbs and Im 5ft 1, I can hardly even eat one full meal a day and my friends have said Im skinny but all I see in the mirror is a fat person. I hate my weight and I want to change it. But Im worried if Im too skinny or light. I also have experienced some sadness that causes me to self harm, but that has stopped now. I've considered seeing a doctor about feeling sad and my weight apparently being bad. But I think Im overreacting and that I'm fat.

Am I fat or too skinny?
Replied By: selfdoubting on Dec 16, 2013, 2:28AM
Why can’t I stop? Why can’t I quit thinking these things? Quit down-grading myself. Why do I do this? Why do I not believe in myself? Why can I not see what everyone else does? Or do they even see it…? Are they just being polite? Do they not want to tell me that I have no talent? Can they not find the courage to tell me that I will not go anywhere in life? I won’t make anything out of myself? Or, could these just be lies that I’m feeding to myself? If so, why? Why can I not seem to let them go? To stop thinking them, constantly. Is there something wrong with me? Why can I not just be given an answer… an answer I’ll believe?

I hate having all the questions. Questions that make it hard for me to fall asleep at night. Questions that make me believe that I am wasting my time with this so called “dream”. Its not like I don’t try. I do. All the time. I try to ignore them, fight them. I try to make myself believe that I will make something out of myself. That I do have talent. But it just never seems to stick… Its like trying to get paint splatters out of clothes… Old, dry paint that has been so embedded into the fabric. Almost seems impossible, and most of the time it is. So you just give up, throw the clothing away. Should I give up? Should I pick something ‘safe’ to do with my life and just never look back?

Should I fear the future or should I embrace it? Still, questions that I have no answers to. Questions I’m starting to think no one in this world has answers to… I feel alone somewhat. That only I am left here to try to figure it out myself. That no one can help me. If I just had the choice to have just one question answered, it would be: “Why can I not believe in myself?”

I’m sorry for wasting y'alls time. There are people out there with much bigger issues. Therefore, thank you for taking the time to read this. I just want to know why self doubt is such a huge issue for me, and why I am letting it take control. And if anyone else seems to have this problem. This may not be a crisis to the rest of the world. But it sure feels like one to me. One I just wish would go away. 
Replied By: emelie99 on Sep 22, 2013, 5:23PM - In reply to felicamarie93
You are so lucky to be only 20 years old and realize that you have fell off the wagon. But girl, you are only 20 years old. do you know how fast you could jump back on?

I am a 46 year old mother and my love is so strong. 

I did a lot of mistakes in my 46 years. For me it was never drugs or alcohol or gambling. It was always not being responsable with my finances, not paying my bills, I had the money because I always worked but did not care. I had my phone and electricity shut so many times and my parents always paid for me. But you know what? that was not the wright thing to do to help me. I realized it when I became a mother myself, and there was a very small an fragile human that needed that I be responsable.

Today, I am more happy and my parents still love me to piece. My daugther is now 14 years old and so intelligent and kind. I had to rebuild the trust with my parents over and over but they always let me get back up and try again. Because my friend, the day that you stop trying to be better, is the day that you will have failed yourself and everybody who loves you. I do not know  your parents but please talk to them and always keep trying.

Replied By: emelie99 on Sep 22, 2013, 5:10PM - In reply to blendedfamily4

Did you tried to reech out to the school for some support? At my daughter's school they have a super team of experts to help us as much as they can. Would you be confortable asking?

It is so difficult to try to understand them without pushing them further. And we are always scared to say the wrong thing and resulting in them taking the wrong décision.

Is there someone in your family that your daughter feels very close to or closer to? I think the most important thing is the dialogue and if it"s not with you, at least it could be with a person that you trust also.

I wish I could help more...

Replied By: emelie99 on Sep 17, 2013, 1:21PM - In reply to blendedfamily4
I fee for your family. I have a 14 year old myself. When she started hight school she had some questions about girls and boys. She told me that a girl that she was friend with, ask her if she liked girls or boys.

My daughter to reply that she likes boys but never had any experiences yet. I know the internet is a got thig but I find that if it is not controlled by parents, there is way to much exposures to everything. I for me, it just confuses our children more then it help.

I think the most important thing is to keep the dialogue open all the time and hope that we will know when it is time to talk or even more important to listen.

Replied By: blendedfamily4 on Sep 15, 2013, 1:38AM
Okay my husband and I are completely confused on how to manage this situation. We have a 13 yr old daughter. Her whole life she has been drooling over the opposite gender. However we were just told she likes girls by her bio mother.Both the mom and us are completely unaware of this. Come to find out that she has a 13 yr old girl friend that is or at least she calls her self bi gender. Our major concern is how can we truely know that our daughter is completely sure of what she likes. She has never been in any type of relationship. We are willing to support her 100% percent however how can know if this is real or just a move of rebelious stage. When we ask her what she likes about the girl she smiles and replies her personally her character. How can I make her understand what she is stepping into? thank you in advance for the responses
Replied By: rozlin44 on Sep 14, 2013, 10:13AM - In reply to undeadroses
My father was a violent alcoholic.  My mother was a mean co-dependent and thinks she was a good mother.  Eventually I cut contact with both parents.  My father "traditionally" left the parenting to mom who just did not like me--I was the second daughter as was the sister she hated.  Both parents wanted sons.  I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers.  They did not have things great but a lot better than I had.  Parents always had time and money for self and sons but I got no school cloths, never a hug or kind word, never a birthday present or gift (although siblings did), no graduation gift.  Endless cruel remarks.  My self esteem was a negative number.  After high school I had some success on the job and worked out of some of the pain.  Now I'm aged 60 and still recall the abuse, daily/nightly I cry.  I've had some couseling/therapy over the years but they just want you to relive the pain over and over and over again.  My mother still refuses she did anything wrong.  She seems slightly embarassed that I as the black sheep of the family do not visit so she can brag to neighbors and relatives about my career success.  I recall when the "rich" uncle last visited her, she phoned and acted surprised she reached me.  She didn't exactly ask me to visit but suggested I could stay with her while I visited old friends.  I don't have any old friiends--high school was a nightware--no school cloths, never pocket money, unable to attend school events, never allowed to bring chums home--I was "allowed" to visit their homes but that stopped when I could never reciprocate.  Anyhow, you get the idea.  I was about 32 years old when I finally said ENOUGH.  I stopped opening the annual Christmas card as the tears and pain are enough without further smart remarks and attempts to make me feel guilty for not fulfilling my "obligations" to them.  PATRICK, for your own well being, you may need to LIMIT contact with your father.
Replied By: samdreasen on Sep 3, 2013, 11:57AM - In reply to alfresco
I read your article and I think you need to have a calm, adult conversation with your parents and tell them the truth, otherwise they will eventually find out and be crushed to learn you hid it from them.  I am 20 and I have a great, honest relationshop with my mom, becuase i didnt lie to her. 

If you're parents object to it, you need to remind them that you ARE legally an adult and you are able to make your own descions. But dont be snotty about it. Be civil and explain to them how happy it makes you. as long as your honest and remain calm it should be fine. Its better to tell them the truth now while you still can. 
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