Teen Talk

 
  Are you hanging out with the wrong crowd?
  Do you suffer from low self-esteem?
  Is there peer pressure at school to join a gang, drink, smoke or have sex?
  Do you have friends who are drinking and driving, and you're worried?
  Feel misunderstood by your parents?
  Fear that you're headed down the wrong path in life?
  Know someone in an abusive relationship? Is she too frightened or embarrassed to talk to her parents? Is she afraid to leave her boyfriend?
  Are you the one who has attacked your girlfriend? Do you struggle with anger issues but don't know how to ask for help?

Share your dilemmas and get advice from others.

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Comments
Replied By: ewb1996 on Feb 15, 2014, 1:51PM
Hello,

I am a high school student and I'm addicted to cheating. Mostly, I just plagiarize on written assignments, but I take any opportunity to get the "right" answers on any form of test/assignment. When I cheat, it feels like I'm "beating the system" and getting ahead; it's a thrill, and the great grades give me motive to continue with the behavior. I often spend more time preparing how to “beat the system” than the time it would take to actually learn the material or study for a test. Additionally, I am so used to cheating that it has almost become subconscious and second nature. I don't feel any remorse or guilt; however, I wouldn't doubt that those emotions are hiding somewhere. Ironically, I do not need to cheat. I am an intellectual student and have been receiving A+'s on assignments forever. Yet, with the pressure of college admissions and my mother's expectations, I feel like cheating is an easy way out and guarantees success.

 My mother is extremely negative about every aspect of my life and it has really affected my father and I over the years. She constantly tells me that I'll be a failure, that I need to be realistic and not have big dreams, and that I'm a crappy son. She is not able to partake in any form of rational conversation with her family members. For both my father and I, it feels like the only way to stop her from verbalizing her subliminally negative comments is to yell at her. I admit that my behavior is wrong, however, I feel no sense of caring for my mother and believe she deserves everything that happens to her. It almost brings me satisfaction and relief when she feels harassed and depressed. This negative behavior on her part drives me to disprove her and rise above her expectations. At the same time, I feel so much pressure to prove her wrong about myself that I take all necessary means to achieve a goal, regardless of the moral or ethical implications.

 Unfortunately, this problem isn’t limited to my academic life. I often make decisions based on greed and my own self-desires. I disregard others’ feelings because I believe that empathy leads to a hindrance in future success, especially financial. I have adapted a logical mindset and at times I feel quite sociopathic.  Recently, I got in trouble at school for plagiarism. Although plagiarism is not a criminal offense, it is still against the school’s policy and morally wrong. I fear that if I don’t seek help for this behavior, it will lead to more serious problems in the future.
 
Replied By: athenapka on Feb 15, 2014, 1:51AM - In reply to baebae15
Hello!  High school, with so many fellow students, can be a challenge to make friends, can be overwhelming with social media.  Though this is a wealth of time for you to look around yourself and see what's happening.  There is your "school self," your "friends' self" & your "family's self."  Know you are expected to be a student when in classes, a friend when being with, talking to your friends, and member of a family. 

You future relationships with the opposite sex begin here, at school, with friends, you might meet someone new when out with your family.  This is a time to find out what a relationship is - spending time face - to - face talking, with other people.  Learn how to talk to them.  What do they like to do, is this what you like to do too?  You have moments in school when you can talk face - to - face, ask the time?  Ask another student about homework assignment.  Do you like to play a sport?  Be active with others.  Learn how to be a friend.  This time of being around others will come the confidence you want to talk to opposite sex.  It is OK, we have all had crushes on others, they need never know. 
 
Replied By: baebae15 on Jan 30, 2014, 10:48PM
I'm 15  a sophomore In high school and some days I feel like the entire world is on my shoulders and won't get off. I'm in constant fear of never finding the one but I know I shouldn't be worried about that, or should I? I'm just really confused and need someone to put things in another perspective than my own and my mothers.
 
Replied By: abyfaizurah on Jan 8, 2014, 5:35PM
I'm Aby & i'm 19 years old. I have a friend who's 18 years of age & she has been swallowing atleast 10 pills each night for the past 3 days. She's also been having suicidal thoughts, she cries non-stop & she doesn't want to go out of her house. I'm getting really worried because she's taking too many pills & i'm afraid that she might just do something stupid like ending her life.


Recently, a photo of her naked was being shared over the social network. She admitted to snapping a photo of herself naked but i have no idea when that actually took place. She believes that a girl from facebook started this whole thing. That girl posted a photo of the victim & she added nasty comments as it's caption. Within 5 minutes, the photo was being shared to different facebook accounts & then it went to twitter plus instagram. Those that found the victim's facebook, twitter & instagram account started to send nasty, hurtful comments to the victim every minute of everyday. She has lost most of her friends because of this as they said that they didn't want to be seen around someone just like her. But the friends that still stayed plus some strangers online told her to be strong & move forward. They told her to take it as a lesson learnt, Nothing seems to sink in because all she could think about was how she was going to face the world now that almost everyone has seen the photo. My country is small. Everyone knows everyone. She keeps saying she wanna transfer to another school but she has no idea that no matter where she goes, the picture follows. I've asked her if she snapped the photo to send it to someone & she denied to doing so. I told her that it didn't make any sense. It's either she sent it to someone & that person sabotage her by sharing the photo or she shared it on her own social networks. She said she didn't do anything like that but admitted to keeping the photo of herself naked in her own phone for quite sometime. Futhermore, she claimed that the girl which she believes to be the first one to share the victim's photo was someone whom she didn't know. So i asked her one last question. I asked her if there's anyone that has been going through her phone lately because that person might have seen it & sent it their own phone with intentions to spead it over the internet. She said she wasn't sure & didn't want to be ask further. Those cyber-bullies have no clue, i repeat, NO CLUE how words can hurt really bad. I know because i've been bullied before. 



I've been trying to talk some sense into her but it doesn't seem to work. I need a solution to make it stop. I can't let her go through another night swallowing more pills. I want to be the one to be able to save her because the nasty comments she received from those bullies was really, really sad. It's her fault for snapping a photo of herself naked, yes i understand that. But they need to give her a break! She made a mistake, so? Everyone makes mistakes. And if someone did sabotage her, it means it's not entirely her fault. We do not know her story so why do these bullies say all those mean things? Why do they have to share the photo to their friends & so on? Don't they have feelings? What if the picture was their very own sister or mum? I honestly don't think this is fair. She doesn't deserve to live in fear. So far, i've been begging people to remove the photo they posted or shared on their social networks & really, some of them were real monsters because they didn't want to remove it & said that she deserves it. Please, i need some solutions to save my friend. I need to save her, badly.
 
Replied By: tehjollyllama on Jan 5, 2014, 3:59AM - In reply to iamme23
You  aren't fat in the slightest. In 7th grade, I used to be obsessed with my appearance and how I weighed and I did extreme diets for a long time and managed to go from almost 200 pounds to about 145 over a summer, but when I stopped losing weight and the diets were less effective, I resorted to starving myself because I was still about 20 pounds away from my goal.  The only difference with our weights is that I was a few inches taller and so I was naturally heavier. I got to a point where I wasn't eating breakfast, I gave away my lunch at school to other people, and I only ate part of my dinner at home. I would also do lots of yoga and muscle exercises, which are dangerous to do if you do not have the energy to fuel it. 
My only recomendation is to be healthy. Start eating all of your meals again. You sound like you are on the skinnier/lighter side so I would recomend seeing a doctor about your weight.  If you don't want to suddenly gain a lot of weight, I recomend exercise, and only eat vegetarian, low fat (some good fat is okay like the fat found in avocados), and limit your carbs, but make sure you get at least 1200 calories of healthy food a day, and more than that if you can.
 
Replied By: outcyder on Jan 5, 2014, 12:30AM - In reply to alfresco
put your parents first.



dont lie to them.



find a way to love your boyfriend and please him with the basic rules your parents always layed out for u.



read the 10 commandments and paste it on your door.



imagine having to break your back, have medical procedures done on you, and to cry and eat and scream just to keep this baby alive in your stomach. this THING. you don't know him, or her, but you are willing to sacrifice your life to keep it alive, so that when it grows, you could be proud of saying, that's MY child. not yours.



its good that you found a love. but you are forgetting the struggle your parents have been through for you.



never forget. respect them. love them. and their rules. and do that every day until they die. (god forbid)
 
Replied By: outcyder on Jan 5, 2014, 12:23AM - In reply to undeadroses
"t i try and stress in making one"

"how can i fix this."



YOU CANT. hes a father. he will never bend down to his son. his ego, pride, and label will not let him. he is who he is , but he does love you. you will only drive yourself more mad if you try to change your dad. letting him know how you feel, without insulting him, will help. the things that come to you when you get angry stick in your mind. and then you dwell on those things untill you can't take it anylonger and then you blow up on your father and you hate him...



but deep inside you jjust want to be a happy family.



I know how you feel. my parents dont appretiate when i play piano. they dont understand the music the way i have to. i cant make them understand BACH. i cant put it into thier head like its put into mine. they are the listeners and i am the preformer.



you are a singer. so you must preform. what you feel inside, must come out, to your father in a way that he will get it . you know him for 19 years. i dont. but anything that's easy to do is not the way. '



this "getting it all out to your dad" is hard as hell. if it wasnt hard you wouldve already found a way. be professional and try to see the things the way he   does.



hes your father. he knows hes a dad. make him feel proud, even though he made many mistakes in his life. dont hurt him. and dont let your anger go out on him. hes sad and hes lost and hes confused. but hes your father. hes not your friend. you have to work on making a bond with him, and try to communicate with him.



im sorry. I know you're hurting. you have the power to do three things



1) make it better. (highly recomended)

2) deal with it. (not recommended)

3) make it worse. (very easy to do)
 
Replied By: outcyder on Jan 5, 2014, 12:13AM - In reply to blendedfamily4
Shes confused. Shes still 13. her hormones are changing. she thinks she is what the society tells her is okay to be. shes accepting society and misconceptioning to believe that she is bi or gay or straight. if she read or focused on school, other than materialistic things or the modern world, then she'd be okay. educate this young girl. she is desperate for help. obviously. rebellion is the sign for help in confusion. let her in on her hormone levels. too much testosterone can mean that she thinks like a boy. too much estrogen can mean she is very girly. guys with too much female hormones (imbalanced) are more likely to become gay. Her hormones are still changing. let her doctor tell her what she can do to make her hormones balanced.



if its not hormones, maybe she wants to be reckless and have fun. kate perry kissed a girl and she liked it. it blasted on radios. it educates kids. you must accept that. she will learn from her own mistakes later when she grows up. but there are many distractions now a days that make teens do stupid things.... its scary.



talk to her.
 
Replied By: outcyder on Jan 5, 2014, 12:06AM - In reply to selfdoubting
you are a great writer. you write like me. people will only understand what i say when they read the next sentence. its like you hear a boom, and then explain that you just dropped you book.

It seems like you know the answer to your questions.. i see them in your thoughts.

which shows me, you are a bright person. confused by your concience and the people around you that are messing with your brain..

its 1:30am. Im not sleeping, i didnt shower. im writting to a stranger online.



WHY?

because it makes me feel better about myself. Someimtes i give the best advice to people, when im desperatley seeking for that advice myself. I know what has to be done. I know what I am capable of and I know who i am. But im so lazy to push myself, that I get so caught up in my web and i cry. WHY?!



everyone craves attention. they need love. do you have that? i feel your frustration. its like trying to see without your glasses. you cant. you can cry and beg god to help you, but you know that you cant see.



you need to find your glasses honey. you need to get that someone who can help you see how amazing you are.



dont be desperate. be blind. be yourself. dont act like you can see and you just need someone to tell you some good things about yourself so you can get on with your day.



be that girl who cant see. who is willing to work with someone who can. who will bend for that person that can either be your glasses (boyfriend) or find your glasses for you (a friend)



but whats most important, is that you listen to your self. what your heart tells you. don't try any thing that will rob you of being the best you can be. love yourself and be proud of who you are.
 
Replied By: outcyder on Jan 4, 2014, 11:49PM - In reply to iamme23
I do not know you, or how you look. But I know you are troubled and you are seeking out for help. Just listen to your heart. . . Talk to yourself and laugh in the mirror. . . Don't think about the way you look. . . I used to have two different kinds of walks. One inside the house, and the other for the outside world. I had two different smiles. One for the house, and one for the outside world. One day I was walking and I thought someone else was breathing for me. I was too busy focusing on being someone (Who Knows who that person might be: I watch a lot of movies) instead of finding who I AM. It wasn't fair what I was doing to myself. It was a game. And I was playing it all by myself. Everyone who tried helping me, i found a way to shut them out. I pushed them away, because I was enjoying my game. Until I became sick. I started losing my hair. My skin was fugly. And my body started shuting down on me. Imagine what it's like to have oil on your wet skin... its uncomfortable, and those two substances don't mix. no matter what you do, you can't make them mix together naturally. They are two different things. You cant synthesize them to be the same, because then we arent playing with oil and water anymore. Life is the same way. No one is like you. you have to think of yourself as the WATER, (or the oil, whatever sounds more appealing) and the whole world is opposite. You are different. Just because we eat the same food doesn't mean we are the same people. Just because we have the same color skin, or name, or sex, or nationality, or parents dosent mean I am you. You're god damn special. And you should treat yourself to make you happy. You're still a teen! You're body will change everyday! You can't force it to be what you see it being. let it happen on its own... honey, eat if you want. and if you don't want, don't eat. and if you feel fat or need to feel lighter... laugh! it makes you healthier. I bet you are constantly thinking about your image. but you should be thinking about your health. because once your body starts shuting down you have no control. you panic and then you might do stupid shit. once a roller coaster is falling, you can't stop it, gravity will push it down and all hell breaks lose. protect the skin you are in. fuck everyone. if you must, dont make eye contact to the people that make you feel uncomfortable about yourself. I wish I knew this sooner. Because I wouldn't be the way i am now if i didn't stop hurting myself mentally with my weight. Take care.
 
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