Teen Talk

  Are you hanging out with the wrong crowd?
  Do you suffer from low self-esteem?
  Is there peer pressure at school to join a gang, drink, smoke or have sex?
  Do you have friends who are drinking and driving, and you're worried?
  Feel misunderstood by your parents?
  Fear that you're headed down the wrong path in life?
  Know someone in an abusive relationship? Is she too frightened or embarrassed to talk to her parents? Is she afraid to leave her boyfriend?
  Are you the one who has attacked your girlfriend? Do you struggle with anger issues but don't know how to ask for help?

Share your dilemmas and get advice from others.

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Replied By: bakertaylor28 on Aug 23, 2016, 7:40PM - In reply to jordataylor
This is an area in the law that requires a narrow balance. On the one side, parrents are allowed to dicipline their children how they see fit, so long as that dicipline doesn't constitute "excessive force" and so long as it doesn't leave physical indicia of injury.  However, some things, such as hair pulling, fist-fights, and the use of impact weapons always constitute a crime. However, the applicable statutes and the case law also differ from state to state.

Everyone whom witnesses an act that even remotely might appear to be child abuse has a moral and ethical obligation to report the events to the proper authorities. If law enforcement was called to the scene and a minor was involved, the law in most states requires police to forward a report to child protective services as well, regarless of whether the officer has enough evidence to file a criminal charge. This is mainly because the burden of proof needed for protective services to remove a child from the home is usually 'clear and convincing evidence" versus the standard of "beyond a resonable doubt" applied to criminal cases. 
Replied By: bakertaylor28 on Aug 23, 2016, 7:28PM - In reply to squaredpi
The fact that you apparently "forgot" this seems a bit suspicious in and of itself, because there is such a thing as "false memory" with this sort of thing, where a person at some point honestly thinks they remember something that is later shown not to be factually true. This is why the government is generally prohibited from using information obtained through psychological techniques designed to bring out and reactivate so called "repressed memories" with respect to these types of allegations.  The scienctific research also clearly shows that even the best eye-witness testimony has a tendency to have enough flaws in it that it should not be truested on its own. This has nothing to do with intentionally falsifing information as it has to do with the way the human brain processes information and will inherently "fill in the gaps" when it comes to information that wasn't observed, experienced, etc. 

That said, on a more personal level, speaking as a victim, I can say that one never "forgets" this sort of thing, so frankly, I call bull. 
Replied By: smishale on Oct 2, 2015, 1:49AM - In reply to raiser58
everyone goes through hard times. Times we feel like giving up, but the key is to keep your head up and keep pursuing whatever it is you are after. It could be worst. At times we dont realize that we cpull have it much worst and we are very fortunate to have what we do even if you may think it's little to nothing that's better then absolutely nothing. I pray that you find God because he is a life saver and if you just give him your troubles he will guide you in the path that he has designed for your life.
Replied By: heybabyphil on Sep 28, 2015, 6:59PM - In reply to acarrion1

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Replied By: krobertson on Feb 18, 2015, 2:07PM
Sorry it's extremely long but I pray you read my story and find some comfort or encouragement. I could never be alone. By that I mean single. I was constantly searching for someone to be with. I found him on Facebook and thought he was the most attractive guy I've ever seen. I messaged him and that weekend we went out on a date. It started out exactly like a movie and I automatically fell for him. We hung out every day and eventually became official. We took those perfect relationship photos, we did everything together, I honestly fell in love. We had every thing in common and had so much fun together. A few months went by and his true colors began to show. He isolated me from everyone. I couldn't go anywhere without him knowing when, where, with who, why. He was always around. Always on top of my life. Always on MY phone. He threatened every guy that was ever around me, even if his friends looked at me the wrong way. I thought it was just because he loved me so much. It got to the point where I was driving and a man was jogging on the sidewalk and he'd accuse me of looking at him. If we were holding hands, while this happened,he'd squeeze so tight, just to hurt me. We started fighting every day and he ended up pushing me against walls, pushing me to the ground. I'd try to leave and he'd grab me and throw me to the ground. We were fighting in the car one time and he told me to pull over, so I did. He got out and started walking. I got out and chased after him. This was in a grocery store parking lot so it was embarrassing. He kept pushing me away and yelling. Eventually he grabbed my keys and told me to get in the car. First off he didn't have a license. I got in and he sped off with me. Turning corners hard enough where I'm being tossed around even while wearing a seatbelt. He ended up spinning out and crashing into a ditch. Thank god we weren't on a busy road. He got out and apologized over and over, sobbing. I told everyone that I crashed it. We talked about breaking up after that but I couldn't lose him. I was in love. He ended up going to visit family for a month and I was lost without him. So depressed it was pathetic. He rarely messaged me though I saw that he was posting on Facebook. When he came home I went straight to his house and everything was normal. Like nothing happened. He told me I looked beautiful and we spent the rest of the day doing what normal couples do. A few days later it went back to normal. By normal I mean fighting all the time and the abuse starting back up. Throwing me into things. Bruises began to appear. So I'm gonna be honest on my part. That whole month without talking to him I assumed we were over and when I went to see him after the trip I assumed it was gonna be talking about why it ended and what he really wanted but of course he was great at mind games. I was talking to other guys. I was lonely. So one night he went through my phone and found it all. He came into his room and lost it. He threw me around and pulled out a knife. He threatened to kill himself right in front of me. I screamed that I was pregnant so he wouldn't hurt me or himself. He said that the baby wasn't his. That I was a slut. Even though I made up being pregnant that still hurt. He started pushing me onto his bed and crawling on top of me. He was whispering in my ear about how horrible I am. How slutty I am. He ran his hand on my body while the other was gripping tight onto my jaw. I kept pushing him and finally got him off and I ran upstairs and out the front door. His mom came after me and he ran out right after her. Screaming at me. I hid behind my car because his mom wanted to know what happened. They were yelling at each other and ended up getting physical. Eventually she came and talked to me and called my mom. That was it. It was over and I didn't know how I could ever be the same without him. I thought I would spend my life with him and it was over. I ended up rushing into another relationship and it was starting to end up just the same so I left him. I found my strength. I didn't have to go through what I went through I didn't have to deal with it. If I could make it through that anyone can. There's is no excuse for doing what he did and there's no love there. Just a messed up human being. If I would have stayed with him there's no telling what could have happened. I'm so much more independent and I haven't been in a relationship in about a year and I'm so happy. I hope that this has helped you if you read this far to realize you're better than that. It's never your fault and there's always a way out and there's always happiness found beyond abuse.
Replied By: lauram9787 on Feb 18, 2015, 9:45AM
I'm on here in the hopes that someone will read this and find the strength and courage to get out of an abusive relationship... I'm going to share just a little bit of a relationship I was in, and if anyone needs to talk I'm here to listen... I was 18 and already had 2 sons, when I met my boyfriend at the time I couldn't believe someone wanted to be with me even with my 2 babies. So I was quick to be with him and very quickly moved in together, everything was great! Once I got pregnant the relationship turned very fast, some of the things that were done to me; wasn't able to wear shorts or short sleeved shirts, wasn't able to pick my head up while in the car, wasnt able to work, then there were really really bad things like I wasnt able to brush my teeth, couldn't shower unless he was in the restroom with me, he would watch me sleep and wait til I fell asleep until he would sleep... There were a lot of things that happened to me that no one knows about, not his family not mine, not even my husband that I have now knows. I was in this relastionship for 2 years, I finally found the strength to leave, it was extremely hard... I just knew it wasn't the life I wanted to live with my kids, shortly after my 3 baby was born I packed some things and left to my mothers house for a while, he got arrested for breaking down the door to our apartment while I was there and that gave me the peace and time I needed to completely move on... It's hard I know it is! And I know that it's hard to go to your family because you feel like they won't understand you, sometimes its easier to talk to a stranger.... It took me some time, and to this day I live with some of the things he did to me, like not being able to brush my teeth for almost 2 years has left them very damaged, but once I left and took time for myself and my kids I met someone who really loves and cares about me and my kids... There are good men out there, but you have to know that you are worth loving and you deserve to live a life that you dream of! I'm here guys I'm happy to share my experience even though it's still hard to talk about, I hope you reach ou! Even if it's not through here you can email me as well at l.aguilar9787@gmail.com thank you for your time and God Bless
Replied By: raiser58 on Jan 14, 2015, 3:59PM
I don't even know where to begin with, so many things just happen so suddenly and all of them, I've brought them all upon myself. There's so many that no matter how I try to solve each of them, problems keep popping out. I'm so at a loss of what I should do, I feel like I'm losing myself. I'm starting to lose hope in living, I feel that, I might just be able to take away my own life now. 
Replied By: taifalraisi on Dec 20, 2014, 2:33PM - In reply to squaredpi
When i was a kid 7 years old i loved playing on the piano so i always begged my dad to take me to a summer school for music,he agree My 3 older sisters joined me but they played the guitar.

my mom was late it was rare but it was because of the traffic so my sisters were playing and i was discovering the school i saw a closed room and drums i took the drums sticks and started playing around then this Indian guy calls me he was like"come here" and I thought oh my god am introuble so i just walked towards him he told me"i will teach you how to play drums" and i was like hey this guy is nice so he sat on the chair and told me to sit on his lap so i did he put his hands on my waist and started rubbing it and then my butt.

i felt uncomfortable but then he cut me off and  told me that i should hold the stick this way and he started tuching me everywhere.

then i got up because my sister called me because my mom arrived . Watching these videos reminded me of that day. No one knows about this and this is the first time i tell. I feel disgusting. Like am infected.

I am depressed because of this. 

Replied By: acarrion1 on Dec 17, 2014, 8:22AM - In reply to squaredpi
Hey how are you? My name is Amanda. I was just watching the dr.phil show about Teens and Domestic violence and all sorts of stuff and he gave a message saying i can log on to "teen talk" and write to people and help them with real life situations. I have a lot of experience with this so if you still need help please feel free to contact me on here. You are not alone.
Replied By: squaredpi on Jul 21, 2014, 1:27AM
Almost a year ago I started watching a ton of Dr. Phil shows online. I was watching an episode where a girl was talking about being molested and I was feeling sorry for her to go through that when all of a sudden my brain just kind of turned on. I sat there as I started to remember that my uncle (who is 6 years older than me) used to make me go into his room with him when I went over to my grandparent's home and make me lay on his bed with him. He'd close the door and take off my pants and under wear and tell me to be quiet as he would touch down there and look at it. I remember not liking that he would make me do that and when my grandma would come to his room he'd tell me not to say anything and just say we're playing. It's taking me a long time to write this. I don't remember how old I was but I feel like it happened somewhere between the ages of 5-7. I had these memories surpressed for so long I completely forgotten about them and I feel horrified that it happened. Looking back before I remembered I remember feeling uncomfortable around my uncle if we were in the same room together alone, and I had always shyed (sp?) away from him touching me and would feel sick if he tried to tickle me. I don't think he remembers doing that to me, at least he doesn't act like it. He's not a bad person, he's nice and is like my own brother, but since I remembered I dread being any where near him.

I don't know how to move on from this. I want to forget again because these past 3 months I'm remembering more of it and it pops into my mind more often, taunting me. I am now an adult and just graduated from high school but I worry that I may start to have issues with this. I want to be able to move on, I don't want to hurt my family, I don't want to tear them apart and I'm just way too embarressed to talk about it.

No one knows this happened to me. I've considered telling my boyfriend sometime in the future, to see if that could help me cope. Please help me out.
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