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Teen Talk

 
  Are you hanging out with the wrong crowd?
  Do you suffer from low self-esteem?
  Is there peer pressure at school to join a gang, drink, smoke or have sex?
  Do you have friends who are drinking and driving, and you're worried?
  Feel misunderstood by your parents?
  Fear that you're headed down the wrong path in life?
  Know someone in an abusive relationship? Is she too frightened or embarrassed to talk to her parents? Is she afraid to leave her boyfriend?
  Are you the one who has attacked your girlfriend? Do you struggle with anger issues but don't know how to ask for help?

Share your dilemmas and get advice from others.

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Comments
Replied By: acarrion1 on Dec 17, 2014, 8:22AM - In reply to squaredpi
Hey how are you? My name is Amanda. I was just watching the dr.phil show about Teens and Domestic violence and all sorts of stuff and he gave a message saying i can log on to "teen talk" and write to people and help them with real life situations. I have a lot of experience with this so if you still need help please feel free to contact me on here. You are not alone.
 
Replied By: squaredpi on Jul 21, 2014, 1:27AM
Almost a year ago I started watching a ton of Dr. Phil shows online. I was watching an episode where a girl was talking about being molested and I was feeling sorry for her to go through that when all of a sudden my brain just kind of turned on. I sat there as I started to remember that my uncle (who is 6 years older than me) used to make me go into his room with him when I went over to my grandparent's home and make me lay on his bed with him. He'd close the door and take off my pants and under wear and tell me to be quiet as he would touch down there and look at it. I remember not liking that he would make me do that and when my grandma would come to his room he'd tell me not to say anything and just say we're playing. It's taking me a long time to write this. I don't remember how old I was but I feel like it happened somewhere between the ages of 5-7. I had these memories surpressed for so long I completely forgotten about them and I feel horrified that it happened. Looking back before I remembered I remember feeling uncomfortable around my uncle if we were in the same room together alone, and I had always shyed (sp?) away from him touching me and would feel sick if he tried to tickle me. I don't think he remembers doing that to me, at least he doesn't act like it. He's not a bad person, he's nice and is like my own brother, but since I remembered I dread being any where near him.



I don't know how to move on from this. I want to forget again because these past 3 months I'm remembering more of it and it pops into my mind more often, taunting me. I am now an adult and just graduated from high school but I worry that I may start to have issues with this. I want to be able to move on, I don't want to hurt my family, I don't want to tear them apart and I'm just way too embarressed to talk about it.



No one knows this happened to me. I've considered telling my boyfriend sometime in the future, to see if that could help me cope. Please help me out.
 
Replied By: jordataylor on Jul 14, 2014, 1:27AM
Ok so my worry will start with an explanation...about a week and a half ago a friend who is 16 and going to be 17 in august, actually my girlfriend was kicked out of her house by her mom. She had been having trouble the previous 2 weeks with my friend being late home very often. The day she was kicked out however, her mom told us we were aloud to go to my house. The thing is though that due to events she walked to my house and i drove. Her mom saw me without her daughter driving to my house. This made her think her daughter was still at her house. When my girlfriends mom called her she said she was tired of the disrespect and that she needed to get her f*****g s**t and get the f**k out of her house because she snuck out. So my girlfriend is from out of state and has very little family her, so she asked my mom if she could move in. A week past and she started working on a plan for her life and school and how she would go to college. my mom offered as much help as she could to make her plan successful.....Then disaster hit....Her mom called and said she wanted to speak with her...my girlfriend was reluctant because her mom has a tendancy to hit her when she is angry. She went back anyways, but wanted to have the conversation outside so that her mom could not hit her. I witnessed this because i drove her back to her house and waited across the street. Her mom insisted that she enter the house to the point where when my girlfriend refused she grabbed her by her hair and drug her across the pourch and into the house. my girlfriend was screaming and crying. I saw my girlfriends shadow running through the house to the back door. When she got to the back door she was trying to unlock it when her mom smashed her against it and the shadows disappeared. I had talked in private to my girlfriend since and she said at that moment her mom was trying to take her phone as she attempted to call 911...I didnt have a phone so i waived down a random stranger as this was happening and begged them to call the cops. when the cops arrived they only spoke to my girlfriend in front of her mom, and then spoke to her mom in private. Long story short they left her in the house, and said her mom was in the right and did what she had the right to do, but when they spoke to me they said that their is nothing they could do because it was a friday night and the child protective service offices were closed until monday. so i went home. i was aloud to see her the next day and i was informed of her punishment. she is not aloud any electronic advices for an unspecified time which i was told would be a "very, very long time" and she is not aloud to leave the house for any reason. she is aloud to see me at her house for a set period of time on the weekends which is how i talk to her. I am the only person besides her family she can speak to.... I am concerned because she tells me she is scared to speak out against her mom in front of her mom. She is scared she will speak out and no one will help her just like the cops and she will be punished by her mom and dad. They had already tightened her punishment when i mentioned C.P.S., and that was only me saying it. She cant leave without her mom so she can never speak out....My problem is that if i speak out no one will listen to me. I just seem like the boyfriend that just wants to see his girlfriend more. i dont need people to listen to me.. she needs someone who will let her speak without the fear of her mom...i dont know what to do.
 
Replied By: jordataylor on Jul 14, 2014, 1:25AM
Ok so my worry will start with an explanation...about a week and a half ago a friend who is 16 and going to be 17 in august, actually my girlfriend was kicked out of her house by her mom. She had been having trouble the previous 2 weeks with my friend being late home very often. The day she was kicked out however, her mom told us we were aloud to go to my house. The thing is though that due to events she walked to my house and i drove. Her mom saw me without her daughter driving to my house. This made her think her daughter was still at her house. When my girlfriends mom called her she said she was tired of the disrespect and that she needed to get her f*****g s**t and get the f**k out of her house because she snuck out. So my girlfriend is from out of state and has very little family her, so she asked my mom if she could move in. A week past and she started working on a plan for her life and school and how she would go to college. my mom offered as much help as she could to make her plan successful.....Then disaster hit....Her mom called and said she wanted to speak with her...my girlfriend was reluctant because her mom has a tendancy to hit her when she is angry. She went back anyways, but wanted to have the conversation outside so that her mom could not hit her. I witnessed this because i drove her back to her house and waited across the street. Her mom insisted that she enter the house to the point where when my girlfriend refused she grabbed her by her hair and drug her across the pourch and into the house. my girlfriend was screaming and crying. I saw my girlfriends shadow running through the house to the back door. When she got to the back door she was trying to unlock it when her mom smashed her against it and the shadows disappeared. I had talked in private to my girlfriend since and she said at that moment her mom was trying to take her phone as she attempted to call 911...I didnt have a phone so i waived down a random stranger as this was happening and begged them to call the cops. when the cops arrived they only spoke to my girlfriend in front of her mom, and then spoke to her mom in private. Long story short they left her in the house, and said her mom was in the right and did what she had the right to do, but when they spoke to me they said that their is nothing they could do because it was a friday night and the child protective service offices were closed until monday. so i went home. i was aloud to see her the next day and i was informed of her punishment. she is not aloud any electronic advices for an unspecified time which i was told would be a "very, very long time" and she is not aloud to leave the house for any reason. she is aloud to see me at her house for a set period of time on the weekends which is how i talk to her. I am the only person besides her family she can speak to.... I am concerned because she tells me she is scared to speak out against her mom in front of her mom. She is scared she will speak out and no one will help her just like the cops and she will be punished by her mom and dad. They had already tightened her punishment when i mentioned C.P.S., and that was only me saying it. She cant leave without her mom so she can never speak out....My problem is that if i speak out no one will listen to me. I just seem like the boyfriend that just wants to see his girlfriend more. i dont need people to listen to me.. she needs someone who will let her speak without the fear of her mom...i dont know what to do.
 
Replied By: acebo20 on Jun 15, 2014, 4:39PM
1.3 million teens are caregivers of a sick family member. 22% of dropouts of caregiving youth. Often, they do it all alone. And they are misunderstood, the emotional suffering they deal with is undermined. I was one of them. 



These teens go to their parent's hospital and doctor visits for emotional and physical support, as well as giving doctors info (SSN, BD, illnesses, medicines, symptoms, etc.) At home, they do all the household chores and errands and take care of their parent full time. They miss a lot of school. 



My school didnt understand. The guidance counselor and teachers didnt understand. Some were mad that i missed so much school or was moody. Awareness for caregiving youth is extremely low. And schools need to be more aware of what some of their students are dealing with and help them. Instead of lecture or yell at them or undermine what is going on. 


 
Replied By: mountainwoman1 on Apr 13, 2014, 4:24AM - In reply to baebae15
If you watch Dr. Phil, you will have heard him say that a person's brain is not fully developed until the age of 25. Meaning, you are going to evolve as a person a great deal in the next 10 years. And other people your age will be as well. Do you really want to find "the one" when both of you don't even know who you are yet?

Enjoy your freedom and focus on having fun and being comfortable with yourself. In a successful, long-term, committed relationship, you have to give 100%. You can only give 100% to your partner if you have 100% to give. At 15, you don't have that yet. I know, it's a harsh reality. But it's true.
 
Replied By: mountainwoman1 on Apr 13, 2014, 4:13AM - In reply to ewb1996
Well, you know what's wrong and you know you need help. Can you ask your dad to pay for counseling sessions? If not, your school should have a counseler you can talk to. Also, sometimes there are ads on Craigslist for free counseling sessions that are done by counselers in training. This is a deep issue and your problem will not be solved on this message board, I can guarantee that.

If you decide not to get yourself help, severe consequences will be inevitable for you, and the one that is most likely to happen is expulsion from college. They don't give you second chances in college when it comes to cheating and plagiarizing and college professors have a keener sense of smell for cheaters than high school teachers. If you don't seek help for yourself, I can promise you that you will eventually get caught and your life will be a hell of a lot harder than it is right now. Do yourself a favor, seek help before you really mess up your life. 
 
Replied By: mocean9524 on Apr 5, 2014, 11:59AM
At the age of 13 i was forced into sex. At the age of 15 i began my first "serious" relationship which lasted 3 years and became extremely emotionally and physically abusive. The emotional abuse was the hardest part to deal with, hearing every day how useless i was, how fat and ugly i was, how i was going no where in life and that the best thing i would ever have was my relationship with that guy. I was told constantly that he was the only one who would ever love me, my own family didnt love me because i was so fat and ugly. It bacame controlly, i wasnt allowed to talk or hangout with friends, i wasnt allowed to go out with family and if i did he would call me every 30 minutes to check in on me and i had to send pictures of myself so that he knew i looked ugly and that i was actually with my family. The emotional abuse became unbarable. Then the physical abuse started, he would hit me with golf clubs, and choke me out, he would punch me and kick me and put knives to my throat threatening to kill me then kill himself. He punched and broke windows at my house, and beat me up all the time. People knew but no one would say anything.

Eventually i did come forward to the cops after trying to break it off with him several times the abuse only got worse so i knew my only way out was to go to the police so i did. After him being arrested and spending a year going through court, he got minimal charges and a restraining order. I was unhappy with the result but because he was under 18 at the time of the abuse he got away with everything.

Now everyone thinks i should be this happy survivor, a girl who is so strong and brave who got through something that no normal 18 year old has gone through, and maybe i do come across that way but its all a lie. Im not strong and im not brave and after years of pain i am trapped in my own body with anger, resentment, hatred, frustation, negativity and depression.

After trying to kill myself and being put on anti depressents i have tried reaching out for help and its not easy. I may have fought off some of my depression but I am not okay, i still have so many issues that need to be resolved.

My biggest issue is the longing for male attention, i am almost 19 years old and have slept with over 25 males, i do everything i can for positive male attention and to feel appreciated and beautiful even if it is just for a short period of time during sex.

I dont know what else to do i have tried councollers and i have tried medication... im trapped in this emotional roller coaster of hating myself.... what do i do..?
 
Replied By: ewb1996 on Feb 15, 2014, 1:51PM
Hello,

I am a high school student and I'm addicted to cheating. Mostly, I just plagiarize on written assignments, but I take any opportunity to get the "right" answers on any form of test/assignment. When I cheat, it feels like I'm "beating the system" and getting ahead; it's a thrill, and the great grades give me motive to continue with the behavior. I often spend more time preparing how to “beat the system” than the time it would take to actually learn the material or study for a test. Additionally, I am so used to cheating that it has almost become subconscious and second nature. I don't feel any remorse or guilt; however, I wouldn't doubt that those emotions are hiding somewhere. Ironically, I do not need to cheat. I am an intellectual student and have been receiving A+'s on assignments forever. Yet, with the pressure of college admissions and my mother's expectations, I feel like cheating is an easy way out and guarantees success.

 My mother is extremely negative about every aspect of my life and it has really affected my father and I over the years. She constantly tells me that I'll be a failure, that I need to be realistic and not have big dreams, and that I'm a crappy son. She is not able to partake in any form of rational conversation with her family members. For both my father and I, it feels like the only way to stop her from verbalizing her subliminally negative comments is to yell at her. I admit that my behavior is wrong, however, I feel no sense of caring for my mother and believe she deserves everything that happens to her. It almost brings me satisfaction and relief when she feels harassed and depressed. This negative behavior on her part drives me to disprove her and rise above her expectations. At the same time, I feel so much pressure to prove her wrong about myself that I take all necessary means to achieve a goal, regardless of the moral or ethical implications.

 Unfortunately, this problem isn’t limited to my academic life. I often make decisions based on greed and my own self-desires. I disregard others’ feelings because I believe that empathy leads to a hindrance in future success, especially financial. I have adapted a logical mindset and at times I feel quite sociopathic.  Recently, I got in trouble at school for plagiarism. Although plagiarism is not a criminal offense, it is still against the school’s policy and morally wrong. I fear that if I don’t seek help for this behavior, it will lead to more serious problems in the future.
 
Replied By: athenapka on Feb 15, 2014, 1:51AM - In reply to baebae15
Hello!  High school, with so many fellow students, can be a challenge to make friends, can be overwhelming with social media.  Though this is a wealth of time for you to look around yourself and see what's happening.  There is your "school self," your "friends' self" & your "family's self."  Know you are expected to be a student when in classes, a friend when being with, talking to your friends, and member of a family. 

You future relationships with the opposite sex begin here, at school, with friends, you might meet someone new when out with your family.  This is a time to find out what a relationship is - spending time face - to - face talking, with other people.  Learn how to talk to them.  What do they like to do, is this what you like to do too?  You have moments in school when you can talk face - to - face, ask the time?  Ask another student about homework assignment.  Do you like to play a sport?  Be active with others.  Learn how to be a friend.  This time of being around others will come the confidence you want to talk to opposite sex.  It is OK, we have all had crushes on others, they need never know. 
 
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