Sign up for the Dr. Phil Newsletter
Twitter Facebook YouTube

Teen Talk

 
  Are you hanging out with the wrong crowd?
  Do you suffer from low self-esteem?
  Is there peer pressure at school to join a gang, drink, smoke or have sex?
  Do you have friends who are drinking and driving, and you're worried?
  Feel misunderstood by your parents?
  Fear that you're headed down the wrong path in life?
  Know someone in an abusive relationship? Is she too frightened or embarrassed to talk to her parents? Is she afraid to leave her boyfriend?
  Are you the one who has attacked your girlfriend? Do you struggle with anger issues but don't know how to ask for help?

Share your dilemmas and get advice from others.

Click here for additional resources.
Comments
Replied By: krobertson on Feb 18, 2015, 2:07PM
Sorry it's extremely long but I pray you read my story and find some comfort or encouragement. I could never be alone. By that I mean single. I was constantly searching for someone to be with. I found him on Facebook and thought he was the most attractive guy I've ever seen. I messaged him and that weekend we went out on a date. It started out exactly like a movie and I automatically fell for him. We hung out every day and eventually became official. We took those perfect relationship photos, we did everything together, I honestly fell in love. We had every thing in common and had so much fun together. A few months went by and his true colors began to show. He isolated me from everyone. I couldn't go anywhere without him knowing when, where, with who, why. He was always around. Always on top of my life. Always on MY phone. He threatened every guy that was ever around me, even if his friends looked at me the wrong way. I thought it was just because he loved me so much. It got to the point where I was driving and a man was jogging on the sidewalk and he'd accuse me of looking at him. If we were holding hands, while this happened,he'd squeeze so tight, just to hurt me. We started fighting every day and he ended up pushing me against walls, pushing me to the ground. I'd try to leave and he'd grab me and throw me to the ground. We were fighting in the car one time and he told me to pull over, so I did. He got out and started walking. I got out and chased after him. This was in a grocery store parking lot so it was embarrassing. He kept pushing me away and yelling. Eventually he grabbed my keys and told me to get in the car. First off he didn't have a license. I got in and he sped off with me. Turning corners hard enough where I'm being tossed around even while wearing a seatbelt. He ended up spinning out and crashing into a ditch. Thank god we weren't on a busy road. He got out and apologized over and over, sobbing. I told everyone that I crashed it. We talked about breaking up after that but I couldn't lose him. I was in love. He ended up going to visit family for a month and I was lost without him. So depressed it was pathetic. He rarely messaged me though I saw that he was posting on Facebook. When he came home I went straight to his house and everything was normal. Like nothing happened. He told me I looked beautiful and we spent the rest of the day doing what normal couples do. A few days later it went back to normal. By normal I mean fighting all the time and the abuse starting back up. Throwing me into things. Bruises began to appear. So I'm gonna be honest on my part. That whole month without talking to him I assumed we were over and when I went to see him after the trip I assumed it was gonna be talking about why it ended and what he really wanted but of course he was great at mind games. I was talking to other guys. I was lonely. So one night he went through my phone and found it all. He came into his room and lost it. He threw me around and pulled out a knife. He threatened to kill himself right in front of me. I screamed that I was pregnant so he wouldn't hurt me or himself. He said that the baby wasn't his. That I was a slut. Even though I made up being pregnant that still hurt. He started pushing me onto his bed and crawling on top of me. He was whispering in my ear about how horrible I am. How slutty I am. He ran his hand on my body while the other was gripping tight onto my jaw. I kept pushing him and finally got him off and I ran upstairs and out the front door. His mom came after me and he ran out right after her. Screaming at me. I hid behind my car because his mom wanted to know what happened. They were yelling at each other and ended up getting physical. Eventually she came and talked to me and called my mom. That was it. It was over and I didn't know how I could ever be the same without him. I thought I would spend my life with him and it was over. I ended up rushing into another relationship and it was starting to end up just the same so I left him. I found my strength. I didn't have to go through what I went through I didn't have to deal with it. If I could make it through that anyone can. There's is no excuse for doing what he did and there's no love there. Just a messed up human being. If I would have stayed with him there's no telling what could have happened. I'm so much more independent and I haven't been in a relationship in about a year and I'm so happy. I hope that this has helped you if you read this far to realize you're better than that. It's never your fault and there's always a way out and there's always happiness found beyond abuse.
 
Replied By: lauram9787 on Feb 18, 2015, 9:45AM
I'm on here in the hopes that someone will read this and find the strength and courage to get out of an abusive relationship... I'm going to share just a little bit of a relationship I was in, and if anyone needs to talk I'm here to listen... I was 18 and already had 2 sons, when I met my boyfriend at the time I couldn't believe someone wanted to be with me even with my 2 babies. So I was quick to be with him and very quickly moved in together, everything was great! Once I got pregnant the relationship turned very fast, some of the things that were done to me; wasn't able to wear shorts or short sleeved shirts, wasn't able to pick my head up while in the car, wasnt able to work, then there were really really bad things like I wasnt able to brush my teeth, couldn't shower unless he was in the restroom with me, he would watch me sleep and wait til I fell asleep until he would sleep... There were a lot of things that happened to me that no one knows about, not his family not mine, not even my husband that I have now knows. I was in this relastionship for 2 years, I finally found the strength to leave, it was extremely hard... I just knew it wasn't the life I wanted to live with my kids, shortly after my 3 baby was born I packed some things and left to my mothers house for a while, he got arrested for breaking down the door to our apartment while I was there and that gave me the peace and time I needed to completely move on... It's hard I know it is! And I know that it's hard to go to your family because you feel like they won't understand you, sometimes its easier to talk to a stranger.... It took me some time, and to this day I live with some of the things he did to me, like not being able to brush my teeth for almost 2 years has left them very damaged, but once I left and took time for myself and my kids I met someone who really loves and cares about me and my kids... There are good men out there, but you have to know that you are worth loving and you deserve to live a life that you dream of! I'm here guys I'm happy to share my experience even though it's still hard to talk about, I hope you reach ou! Even if it's not through here you can email me as well at l.aguilar9787@gmail.com thank you for your time and God Bless
 
Replied By: raiser58 on Jan 14, 2015, 3:59PM
I don't even know where to begin with, so many things just happen so suddenly and all of them, I've brought them all upon myself. There's so many that no matter how I try to solve each of them, problems keep popping out. I'm so at a loss of what I should do, I feel like I'm losing myself. I'm starting to lose hope in living, I feel that, I might just be able to take away my own life now. 
 
Replied By: taifalraisi on Dec 20, 2014, 2:33PM - In reply to squaredpi
When i was a kid 7 years old i loved playing on the piano so i always begged my dad to take me to a summer school for music,he agree My 3 older sisters joined me but they played the guitar.

my mom was late it was rare but it was because of the traffic so my sisters were playing and i was discovering the school i saw a closed room and drums i took the drums sticks and started playing around then this Indian guy calls me he was like"come here" and I thought oh my god am introuble so i just walked towards him he told me"i will teach you how to play drums" and i was like hey this guy is nice so he sat on the chair and told me to sit on his lap so i did he put his hands on my waist and started rubbing it and then my butt.

i felt uncomfortable but then he cut me off and  told me that i should hold the stick this way and he started tuching me everywhere.

then i got up because my sister called me because my mom arrived . Watching these videos reminded me of that day. No one knows about this and this is the first time i tell. I feel disgusting. Like am infected.

I am depressed because of this. 


 
Replied By: acarrion1 on Dec 17, 2014, 8:22AM - In reply to squaredpi
Hey how are you? My name is Amanda. I was just watching the dr.phil show about Teens and Domestic violence and all sorts of stuff and he gave a message saying i can log on to "teen talk" and write to people and help them with real life situations. I have a lot of experience with this so if you still need help please feel free to contact me on here. You are not alone.
 
Replied By: squaredpi on Jul 21, 2014, 1:27AM
Almost a year ago I started watching a ton of Dr. Phil shows online. I was watching an episode where a girl was talking about being molested and I was feeling sorry for her to go through that when all of a sudden my brain just kind of turned on. I sat there as I started to remember that my uncle (who is 6 years older than me) used to make me go into his room with him when I went over to my grandparent's home and make me lay on his bed with him. He'd close the door and take off my pants and under wear and tell me to be quiet as he would touch down there and look at it. I remember not liking that he would make me do that and when my grandma would come to his room he'd tell me not to say anything and just say we're playing. It's taking me a long time to write this. I don't remember how old I was but I feel like it happened somewhere between the ages of 5-7. I had these memories surpressed for so long I completely forgotten about them and I feel horrified that it happened. Looking back before I remembered I remember feeling uncomfortable around my uncle if we were in the same room together alone, and I had always shyed (sp?) away from him touching me and would feel sick if he tried to tickle me. I don't think he remembers doing that to me, at least he doesn't act like it. He's not a bad person, he's nice and is like my own brother, but since I remembered I dread being any where near him.



I don't know how to move on from this. I want to forget again because these past 3 months I'm remembering more of it and it pops into my mind more often, taunting me. I am now an adult and just graduated from high school but I worry that I may start to have issues with this. I want to be able to move on, I don't want to hurt my family, I don't want to tear them apart and I'm just way too embarressed to talk about it.



No one knows this happened to me. I've considered telling my boyfriend sometime in the future, to see if that could help me cope. Please help me out.
 
Replied By: jordataylor on Jul 14, 2014, 1:27AM
Ok so my worry will start with an explanation...about a week and a half ago a friend who is 16 and going to be 17 in august, actually my girlfriend was kicked out of her house by her mom. She had been having trouble the previous 2 weeks with my friend being late home very often. The day she was kicked out however, her mom told us we were aloud to go to my house. The thing is though that due to events she walked to my house and i drove. Her mom saw me without her daughter driving to my house. This made her think her daughter was still at her house. When my girlfriends mom called her she said she was tired of the disrespect and that she needed to get her f*****g s**t and get the f**k out of her house because she snuck out. So my girlfriend is from out of state and has very little family her, so she asked my mom if she could move in. A week past and she started working on a plan for her life and school and how she would go to college. my mom offered as much help as she could to make her plan successful.....Then disaster hit....Her mom called and said she wanted to speak with her...my girlfriend was reluctant because her mom has a tendancy to hit her when she is angry. She went back anyways, but wanted to have the conversation outside so that her mom could not hit her. I witnessed this because i drove her back to her house and waited across the street. Her mom insisted that she enter the house to the point where when my girlfriend refused she grabbed her by her hair and drug her across the pourch and into the house. my girlfriend was screaming and crying. I saw my girlfriends shadow running through the house to the back door. When she got to the back door she was trying to unlock it when her mom smashed her against it and the shadows disappeared. I had talked in private to my girlfriend since and she said at that moment her mom was trying to take her phone as she attempted to call 911...I didnt have a phone so i waived down a random stranger as this was happening and begged them to call the cops. when the cops arrived they only spoke to my girlfriend in front of her mom, and then spoke to her mom in private. Long story short they left her in the house, and said her mom was in the right and did what she had the right to do, but when they spoke to me they said that their is nothing they could do because it was a friday night and the child protective service offices were closed until monday. so i went home. i was aloud to see her the next day and i was informed of her punishment. she is not aloud any electronic advices for an unspecified time which i was told would be a "very, very long time" and she is not aloud to leave the house for any reason. she is aloud to see me at her house for a set period of time on the weekends which is how i talk to her. I am the only person besides her family she can speak to.... I am concerned because she tells me she is scared to speak out against her mom in front of her mom. She is scared she will speak out and no one will help her just like the cops and she will be punished by her mom and dad. They had already tightened her punishment when i mentioned C.P.S., and that was only me saying it. She cant leave without her mom so she can never speak out....My problem is that if i speak out no one will listen to me. I just seem like the boyfriend that just wants to see his girlfriend more. i dont need people to listen to me.. she needs someone who will let her speak without the fear of her mom...i dont know what to do.
 
Replied By: jordataylor on Jul 14, 2014, 1:25AM
Ok so my worry will start with an explanation...about a week and a half ago a friend who is 16 and going to be 17 in august, actually my girlfriend was kicked out of her house by her mom. She had been having trouble the previous 2 weeks with my friend being late home very often. The day she was kicked out however, her mom told us we were aloud to go to my house. The thing is though that due to events she walked to my house and i drove. Her mom saw me without her daughter driving to my house. This made her think her daughter was still at her house. When my girlfriends mom called her she said she was tired of the disrespect and that she needed to get her f*****g s**t and get the f**k out of her house because she snuck out. So my girlfriend is from out of state and has very little family her, so she asked my mom if she could move in. A week past and she started working on a plan for her life and school and how she would go to college. my mom offered as much help as she could to make her plan successful.....Then disaster hit....Her mom called and said she wanted to speak with her...my girlfriend was reluctant because her mom has a tendancy to hit her when she is angry. She went back anyways, but wanted to have the conversation outside so that her mom could not hit her. I witnessed this because i drove her back to her house and waited across the street. Her mom insisted that she enter the house to the point where when my girlfriend refused she grabbed her by her hair and drug her across the pourch and into the house. my girlfriend was screaming and crying. I saw my girlfriends shadow running through the house to the back door. When she got to the back door she was trying to unlock it when her mom smashed her against it and the shadows disappeared. I had talked in private to my girlfriend since and she said at that moment her mom was trying to take her phone as she attempted to call 911...I didnt have a phone so i waived down a random stranger as this was happening and begged them to call the cops. when the cops arrived they only spoke to my girlfriend in front of her mom, and then spoke to her mom in private. Long story short they left her in the house, and said her mom was in the right and did what she had the right to do, but when they spoke to me they said that their is nothing they could do because it was a friday night and the child protective service offices were closed until monday. so i went home. i was aloud to see her the next day and i was informed of her punishment. she is not aloud any electronic advices for an unspecified time which i was told would be a "very, very long time" and she is not aloud to leave the house for any reason. she is aloud to see me at her house for a set period of time on the weekends which is how i talk to her. I am the only person besides her family she can speak to.... I am concerned because she tells me she is scared to speak out against her mom in front of her mom. She is scared she will speak out and no one will help her just like the cops and she will be punished by her mom and dad. They had already tightened her punishment when i mentioned C.P.S., and that was only me saying it. She cant leave without her mom so she can never speak out....My problem is that if i speak out no one will listen to me. I just seem like the boyfriend that just wants to see his girlfriend more. i dont need people to listen to me.. she needs someone who will let her speak without the fear of her mom...i dont know what to do.
 
Replied By: acebo20 on Jun 15, 2014, 4:39PM
1.3 million teens are caregivers of a sick family member. 22% of dropouts of caregiving youth. Often, they do it all alone. And they are misunderstood, the emotional suffering they deal with is undermined. I was one of them. 



These teens go to their parent's hospital and doctor visits for emotional and physical support, as well as giving doctors info (SSN, BD, illnesses, medicines, symptoms, etc.) At home, they do all the household chores and errands and take care of their parent full time. They miss a lot of school. 



My school didnt understand. The guidance counselor and teachers didnt understand. Some were mad that i missed so much school or was moody. Awareness for caregiving youth is extremely low. And schools need to be more aware of what some of their students are dealing with and help them. Instead of lecture or yell at them or undermine what is going on. 


 
Replied By: mountainwoman1 on Apr 13, 2014, 4:24AM - In reply to baebae15
If you watch Dr. Phil, you will have heard him say that a person's brain is not fully developed until the age of 25. Meaning, you are going to evolve as a person a great deal in the next 10 years. And other people your age will be as well. Do you really want to find "the one" when both of you don't even know who you are yet?

Enjoy your freedom and focus on having fun and being comfortable with yourself. In a successful, long-term, committed relationship, you have to give 100%. You can only give 100% to your partner if you have 100% to give. At 15, you don't have that yet. I know, it's a harsh reality. But it's true.
 
Showing 1-10 of total 51 Comments