Sign up for the Dr. Phil Newsletter
Twitter Facebook YouTube

Teen Talk

 
  Are you hanging out with the wrong crowd?
  Do you suffer from low self-esteem?
  Is there peer pressure at school to join a gang, drink, smoke or have sex?
  Do you have friends who are drinking and driving, and you're worried?
  Feel misunderstood by your parents?
  Fear that you're headed down the wrong path in life?
  Know someone in an abusive relationship? Is she too frightened or embarrassed to talk to her parents? Is she afraid to leave her boyfriend?
  Are you the one who has attacked your girlfriend? Do you struggle with anger issues but don't know how to ask for help?

Share your dilemmas and get advice from others.

Click here for additional resources.
Comments
Replied By: mountainwoman1 on Apr 13, 2014, 4:24AM - In reply to baebae15
If you watch Dr. Phil, you will have heard him say that a person's brain is not fully developed until the age of 25. Meaning, you are going to evolve as a person a great deal in the next 10 years. And other people your age will be as well. Do you really want to find "the one" when both of you don't even know who you are yet?

Enjoy your freedom and focus on having fun and being comfortable with yourself. In a successful, long-term, committed relationship, you have to give 100%. You can only give 100% to your partner if you have 100% to give. At 15, you don't have that yet. I know, it's a harsh reality. But it's true.
 
Replied By: mountainwoman1 on Apr 13, 2014, 4:13AM - In reply to ewb1996
Well, you know what's wrong and you know you need help. Can you ask your dad to pay for counseling sessions? If not, your school should have a counseler you can talk to. Also, sometimes there are ads on Craigslist for free counseling sessions that are done by counselers in training. This is a deep issue and your problem will not be solved on this message board, I can guarantee that.

If you decide not to get yourself help, severe consequences will be inevitable for you, and the one that is most likely to happen is expulsion from college. They don't give you second chances in college when it comes to cheating and plagiarizing and college professors have a keener sense of smell for cheaters than high school teachers. If you don't seek help for yourself, I can promise you that you will eventually get caught and your life will be a hell of a lot harder than it is right now. Do yourself a favor, seek help before you really mess up your life. 
 
Replied By: mocean9524 on Apr 5, 2014, 11:59AM
At the age of 13 i was forced into sex. At the age of 15 i began my first "serious" relationship which lasted 3 years and became extremely emotionally and physically abusive. The emotional abuse was the hardest part to deal with, hearing every day how useless i was, how fat and ugly i was, how i was going no where in life and that the best thing i would ever have was my relationship with that guy. I was told constantly that he was the only one who would ever love me, my own family didnt love me because i was so fat and ugly. It bacame controlly, i wasnt allowed to talk or hangout with friends, i wasnt allowed to go out with family and if i did he would call me every 30 minutes to check in on me and i had to send pictures of myself so that he knew i looked ugly and that i was actually with my family. The emotional abuse became unbarable. Then the physical abuse started, he would hit me with golf clubs, and choke me out, he would punch me and kick me and put knives to my throat threatening to kill me then kill himself. He punched and broke windows at my house, and beat me up all the time. People knew but no one would say anything.

Eventually i did come forward to the cops after trying to break it off with him several times the abuse only got worse so i knew my only way out was to go to the police so i did. After him being arrested and spending a year going through court, he got minimal charges and a restraining order. I was unhappy with the result but because he was under 18 at the time of the abuse he got away with everything.

Now everyone thinks i should be this happy survivor, a girl who is so strong and brave who got through something that no normal 18 year old has gone through, and maybe i do come across that way but its all a lie. Im not strong and im not brave and after years of pain i am trapped in my own body with anger, resentment, hatred, frustation, negativity and depression.

After trying to kill myself and being put on anti depressents i have tried reaching out for help and its not easy. I may have fought off some of my depression but I am not okay, i still have so many issues that need to be resolved.

My biggest issue is the longing for male attention, i am almost 19 years old and have slept with over 25 males, i do everything i can for positive male attention and to feel appreciated and beautiful even if it is just for a short period of time during sex.

I dont know what else to do i have tried councollers and i have tried medication... im trapped in this emotional roller coaster of hating myself.... what do i do..?
 
Replied By: ewb1996 on Feb 15, 2014, 1:51PM
Hello,

I am a high school student and I'm addicted to cheating. Mostly, I just plagiarize on written assignments, but I take any opportunity to get the "right" answers on any form of test/assignment. When I cheat, it feels like I'm "beating the system" and getting ahead; it's a thrill, and the great grades give me motive to continue with the behavior. I often spend more time preparing how to “beat the system” than the time it would take to actually learn the material or study for a test. Additionally, I am so used to cheating that it has almost become subconscious and second nature. I don't feel any remorse or guilt; however, I wouldn't doubt that those emotions are hiding somewhere. Ironically, I do not need to cheat. I am an intellectual student and have been receiving A+'s on assignments forever. Yet, with the pressure of college admissions and my mother's expectations, I feel like cheating is an easy way out and guarantees success.

 My mother is extremely negative about every aspect of my life and it has really affected my father and I over the years. She constantly tells me that I'll be a failure, that I need to be realistic and not have big dreams, and that I'm a crappy son. She is not able to partake in any form of rational conversation with her family members. For both my father and I, it feels like the only way to stop her from verbalizing her subliminally negative comments is to yell at her. I admit that my behavior is wrong, however, I feel no sense of caring for my mother and believe she deserves everything that happens to her. It almost brings me satisfaction and relief when she feels harassed and depressed. This negative behavior on her part drives me to disprove her and rise above her expectations. At the same time, I feel so much pressure to prove her wrong about myself that I take all necessary means to achieve a goal, regardless of the moral or ethical implications.

 Unfortunately, this problem isn’t limited to my academic life. I often make decisions based on greed and my own self-desires. I disregard others’ feelings because I believe that empathy leads to a hindrance in future success, especially financial. I have adapted a logical mindset and at times I feel quite sociopathic.  Recently, I got in trouble at school for plagiarism. Although plagiarism is not a criminal offense, it is still against the school’s policy and morally wrong. I fear that if I don’t seek help for this behavior, it will lead to more serious problems in the future.
 
Replied By: athenapka on Feb 15, 2014, 1:51AM - In reply to baebae15
Hello!  High school, with so many fellow students, can be a challenge to make friends, can be overwhelming with social media.  Though this is a wealth of time for you to look around yourself and see what's happening.  There is your "school self," your "friends' self" & your "family's self."  Know you are expected to be a student when in classes, a friend when being with, talking to your friends, and member of a family. 

You future relationships with the opposite sex begin here, at school, with friends, you might meet someone new when out with your family.  This is a time to find out what a relationship is - spending time face - to - face talking, with other people.  Learn how to talk to them.  What do they like to do, is this what you like to do too?  You have moments in school when you can talk face - to - face, ask the time?  Ask another student about homework assignment.  Do you like to play a sport?  Be active with others.  Learn how to be a friend.  This time of being around others will come the confidence you want to talk to opposite sex.  It is OK, we have all had crushes on others, they need never know. 
 
Replied By: baebae15 on Jan 30, 2014, 10:48PM
I'm 15  a sophomore In high school and some days I feel like the entire world is on my shoulders and won't get off. I'm in constant fear of never finding the one but I know I shouldn't be worried about that, or should I? I'm just really confused and need someone to put things in another perspective than my own and my mothers.
 
Replied By: abyfaizurah on Jan 8, 2014, 5:35PM
I'm Aby & i'm 19 years old. I have a friend who's 18 years of age & she has been swallowing atleast 10 pills each night for the past 3 days. She's also been having suicidal thoughts, she cries non-stop & she doesn't want to go out of her house. I'm getting really worried because she's taking too many pills & i'm afraid that she might just do something stupid like ending her life.


Recently, a photo of her naked was being shared over the social network. She admitted to snapping a photo of herself naked but i have no idea when that actually took place. She believes that a girl from facebook started this whole thing. That girl posted a photo of the victim & she added nasty comments as it's caption. Within 5 minutes, the photo was being shared to different facebook accounts & then it went to twitter plus instagram. Those that found the victim's facebook, twitter & instagram account started to send nasty, hurtful comments to the victim every minute of everyday. She has lost most of her friends because of this as they said that they didn't want to be seen around someone just like her. But the friends that still stayed plus some strangers online told her to be strong & move forward. They told her to take it as a lesson learnt, Nothing seems to sink in because all she could think about was how she was going to face the world now that almost everyone has seen the photo. My country is small. Everyone knows everyone. She keeps saying she wanna transfer to another school but she has no idea that no matter where she goes, the picture follows. I've asked her if she snapped the photo to send it to someone & she denied to doing so. I told her that it didn't make any sense. It's either she sent it to someone & that person sabotage her by sharing the photo or she shared it on her own social networks. She said she didn't do anything like that but admitted to keeping the photo of herself naked in her own phone for quite sometime. Futhermore, she claimed that the girl which she believes to be the first one to share the victim's photo was someone whom she didn't know. So i asked her one last question. I asked her if there's anyone that has been going through her phone lately because that person might have seen it & sent it their own phone with intentions to spead it over the internet. She said she wasn't sure & didn't want to be ask further. Those cyber-bullies have no clue, i repeat, NO CLUE how words can hurt really bad. I know because i've been bullied before. 



I've been trying to talk some sense into her but it doesn't seem to work. I need a solution to make it stop. I can't let her go through another night swallowing more pills. I want to be the one to be able to save her because the nasty comments she received from those bullies was really, really sad. It's her fault for snapping a photo of herself naked, yes i understand that. But they need to give her a break! She made a mistake, so? Everyone makes mistakes. And if someone did sabotage her, it means it's not entirely her fault. We do not know her story so why do these bullies say all those mean things? Why do they have to share the photo to their friends & so on? Don't they have feelings? What if the picture was their very own sister or mum? I honestly don't think this is fair. She doesn't deserve to live in fear. So far, i've been begging people to remove the photo they posted or shared on their social networks & really, some of them were real monsters because they didn't want to remove it & said that she deserves it. Please, i need some solutions to save my friend. I need to save her, badly.
 
Replied By: tehjollyllama on Jan 5, 2014, 3:59AM - In reply to iamme23
You  aren't fat in the slightest. In 7th grade, I used to be obsessed with my appearance and how I weighed and I did extreme diets for a long time and managed to go from almost 200 pounds to about 145 over a summer, but when I stopped losing weight and the diets were less effective, I resorted to starving myself because I was still about 20 pounds away from my goal.  The only difference with our weights is that I was a few inches taller and so I was naturally heavier. I got to a point where I wasn't eating breakfast, I gave away my lunch at school to other people, and I only ate part of my dinner at home. I would also do lots of yoga and muscle exercises, which are dangerous to do if you do not have the energy to fuel it. 
My only recomendation is to be healthy. Start eating all of your meals again. You sound like you are on the skinnier/lighter side so I would recomend seeing a doctor about your weight.  If you don't want to suddenly gain a lot of weight, I recomend exercise, and only eat vegetarian, low fat (some good fat is okay like the fat found in avocados), and limit your carbs, but make sure you get at least 1200 calories of healthy food a day, and more than that if you can.
 
Replied By: outcyder on Jan 5, 2014, 12:30AM - In reply to alfresco
put your parents first.



dont lie to them.



find a way to love your boyfriend and please him with the basic rules your parents always layed out for u.



read the 10 commandments and paste it on your door.



imagine having to break your back, have medical procedures done on you, and to cry and eat and scream just to keep this baby alive in your stomach. this THING. you don't know him, or her, but you are willing to sacrifice your life to keep it alive, so that when it grows, you could be proud of saying, that's MY child. not yours.



its good that you found a love. but you are forgetting the struggle your parents have been through for you.



never forget. respect them. love them. and their rules. and do that every day until they die. (god forbid)
 
Replied By: outcyder on Jan 5, 2014, 12:23AM - In reply to undeadroses
"t i try and stress in making one"

"how can i fix this."



YOU CANT. hes a father. he will never bend down to his son. his ego, pride, and label will not let him. he is who he is , but he does love you. you will only drive yourself more mad if you try to change your dad. letting him know how you feel, without insulting him, will help. the things that come to you when you get angry stick in your mind. and then you dwell on those things untill you can't take it anylonger and then you blow up on your father and you hate him...



but deep inside you jjust want to be a happy family.



I know how you feel. my parents dont appretiate when i play piano. they dont understand the music the way i have to. i cant make them understand BACH. i cant put it into thier head like its put into mine. they are the listeners and i am the preformer.



you are a singer. so you must preform. what you feel inside, must come out, to your father in a way that he will get it . you know him for 19 years. i dont. but anything that's easy to do is not the way. '



this "getting it all out to your dad" is hard as hell. if it wasnt hard you wouldve already found a way. be professional and try to see the things the way he   does.



hes your father. he knows hes a dad. make him feel proud, even though he made many mistakes in his life. dont hurt him. and dont let your anger go out on him. hes sad and hes lost and hes confused. but hes your father. hes not your friend. you have to work on making a bond with him, and try to communicate with him.



im sorry. I know you're hurting. you have the power to do three things



1) make it better. (highly recomended)

2) deal with it. (not recommended)

3) make it worse. (very easy to do)
 
Showing 1-10 of total 42 Comments