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Bullying

 
Teens: Have you ever been harassed or intimidated at school or online? Are you fed up with the taunts and humiliation, but you don't know where to turn? Do teachers see bullying at your school? What do they do -- or not do -- about it? Have you reported bullying at your school? Did school officials do anything about it? Share your stories and find support from other teens.

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Comments
Replied By: oceanentity on Oct 30, 2014, 10:25AM - In reply to ciearria95
Hello , ive just really recently joined this community and read your post. you ahve been through SO much , you sound so insightful and intelligent gong by the way you have reflected your feelings and experiences here. how are you now ?
 
Replied By: lizzykatish on Oct 23, 2014, 6:27PM
 
My daughter (above) was bullied to the extreme in her 8th grade. This happened to her due to a New Years Eve party, where she was offered drugs by the Mother of her friend holding the party. We live in a very small community, but no.. Gabi's other friends were all allowed to go to this party as well. In the morning I received a phone call from Gabi stating that she wanted me to pick her up immediately. She told me that the mother had offered her drugs in the a.m. She called it a "Wake and Bake" My daughter had never heard this term before. Gabi is my baby of 5 other adult children. None of my other kids went through the extent of the bullying that my daughter did because of this party. It was my duty to report it. My daughter does not understand at age 15 (now) why I could not just let it go. After this party she was bullied, so bad the the principle of her middle school called on Super Bowl Sunday to ask that we keep her home. Her life had been threatened and they planned on settling it before Gabriella decided to come back. I shut down her phone, her computer, etc. making her home a safety net. The kids at school kept it going until the sheriffs dept. and NY State troopers had to make an appearance to each of their homes warning them to stop. Gabriella was tutored the remainder of that year, while I tried to get her into an adjacent school. Starting the 9th grade level she "bucked it up and attended the school, even though the bullying never stopped. Last year, her 10th year, she made it until February, when her friend; a boy in her lunch period went home and committed suicide. He had killed himself over the exact same kids that were bullying my daughter. My daughter came home, and self mutilated until I saw her slash marks on her wrists. I immediately took her to her primary physician, that decided that it was in Gabriella's best interest to stop attending this school. OPur "No CHild Left Behind Law" is supposed to protect our children giving them an option for education, but what if you live in such a rural community that there simply isnt another district to have them attend and be transported to? They suffer more. My daughter is now in the 11th grade, her Superintendent of Schools just had her take a full psychological exam, trying to prove that she needs special education. Our State Education Department of NY says, that his reasoning was to put her in a special needs class for kids that are under her education level. Gabriella is extremely mature and very smart. Our Us Department of Education Laws have not been finished in the way that they should be; to protect every student, rural , city or parochial . If your child lives in a rural area, they will be LEFT BEHIND! There is no other option. Yes, there is home tutoring, or tutored by a school official at a local library, but where does this leave the child that deserves an education. My daughter has absolutely no friends. NONE. Her 16th birthday is coming up November 23rd, and she made the statement that, "Mom this sucks, I have n o one to go to a Halloween party with, No Sweet 16 party, and most certainly no sports, extracurricular activity, no proms, no drama clubs etc. She is 15, I will be home schooling her starting next week. The United States Department of Education has failed my daughter, and made even worse by our State Department, by the rules they made to not include rural environments that were not mapped for more than one school per district. I feel her pain, the loss of her friend, her self-esteem, her lack of education and fun/excitement, all due to a party that a mother decided that it was alright to offer my daughter drugs. I have told my daughter that I feel she would be a great advocate for bullying, but she states to me that the school has taken away not only her self-esteem, but has caused her to have huge panic attacks that have to be regulated by medication and anxiety and depression. All parent's, friends, and teachers or anyone in the school administration system of these schools that let this bullying of students continue should really take a deep look at what they have lacked to help support these students, and perhaps the self-mutilations and the suicides might stop.
 
Replied By: needanswers82 on Oct 22, 2014, 6:25PM - In reply to ashthewookilar
Hey ashthewookilar,

I can completely  relate to what you are going through. I am 32 years old and I was just bullied out of my job. I have had a history of anxiety and depression because I have been bullied all my life by classmates, teachers, professors, and supervisors.


My last supervisor was especially abusive and fired me. He would curse me out, tell me I am no good, etc. I am scarred emotionally and find it difficult to move on because of a lifetime of this. However, I am making progress these days after a few months of complete apathy and malaise. I have to learn how to deal with being intimidated and harassed because unfortunately the world is an awful place.


Since you are only 23, please do not let this depression get worse. Do you whatever you need to fight a bully and do not back down. You will be stronger and emerge victorious.

Best,


NeedAnswers82
 
Replied By: ashthewookilar on Oct 21, 2014, 3:21PM
Billing not only happens at schools, but in the workplace as well. I was recently fired from A company I have worked for for three years. The company has recently transitioned to a new owner last October. When the new owner first came, she was a godsend from the previous owner, who was a very verbally abusive boss. A few months after she took over, she did a total 180. She hired one if her good friends to be a manager, and she also hired her niece. I was promised things she never followed through with, and she started being extremely hard on me and me alone. I was never allowed to take a day off when other people were taking multiple vacations in the same year. She would act a certain way and yell at me for doing the same thing, but if her niece or one of her friends that she hired did it and it was fine. There was a lot of favoritism going on as well. It's a small local business, so there was no one I could go to about her behavior. She would state that I was such a hard worker than turn around and say I was lazy and only worked hard when I wanted to, which is false. She stated it doesn't matter how she acts, and it doesn't matter how she treats her employees. Often times I would go home in tears over the things she has said to me and accused me of...and I'm 23! I loved my job and what I did there and the people I worked with, but she was relentless with the verbal abuse. The day we were to have a meeting discussing our issues, I was fired. She really took a toll on my mental state and my self esteem, and made my depression worse. Workplace bullying is something that I didn't even know about until it happened to me and I'm sure many people aren't aware this goes on!..awareness needs to be spread!!
 
Replied By: jamesturner972 on Jul 16, 2014, 4:39PM
Growing up I was a bully. I picked on kids and my little brother.  God bless his soul, he was my biggest victim. I abused him, beat him up and hurt him so bad growing up and it really hurts me now looking back. I of course out grew this bully phase of my life once and for all when I was 16 and I saw a man get his head blown off with a double barrel shot gun and all he did was make a threatening remark towards another man’s wife. Life changes when you get older and not everyone will let a person bully them. Some folks get scared and some have guns and will shot you if you bully them. I am sad and regret the way I was but I can say the life I grew up in had a lot to do with it. I did survive and I thank God for that. I did servive and so did everyone else. Thank God.

James
 
Replied By: ciearria95 on Apr 2, 2014, 11:12PM
Hello,

I used to tell myself that I would never be a victim of bullying and that I'd be the one to help others but that all changed when I moved to a new school in 8th grade. I've been called a fat bitch, I've been called ugly I've been shoved into doors and lockers after my arm surgery, I went to the hospital a couple of times and my parents asked how did this bruse get there why is the pain increasing I just told them that I accidently bumped into the wall because of the crowded halls the doctors gave me passes to get out of classes early but I still kept getting injured. I lost my dog that year and someone told me I should have poored fuel over my dogs body and just burn her in a barrel. When I got to highschool things got worse, I was called a slut, a drug addict, and a pussy. I have been shoved up the stairs and it got so bad I needed a tense unit for my back and was put on a weight limit to 15 punds. I was going out on a date and the guy wanted me to start getting closer to him and he kept grabing me, tugging me, and pulling me around I came back home with bruises. I started going suicidal and I started over dosing my medication and I started cutting and stopped taking my meds so I would die from my illness. I can't go to my parents because all they do is talk shit about the people or just say I'm sorry when all I wanted to be told is I'm here to listen and I am here to help you deal with this because we love you. My mom basically abonded me to take care of her sister I feel replaced and that I don't have a mom. I feel like at any moment someone is going to attack me and that my family is going to leave me. I feel so alone and so helpless I feel like I'm trying to find the light that is hidden in this darkness.
 
Replied By: raluros on Jan 31, 2014, 8:28PM
Dear Dr. Phil, I am now a 44-year-old woman, but I remember vividly, when I was growing up in Germany, I was bullied mercilessly in school, and my parents (both of whom have passed away) and my teachers would just look the other way. My parents used to say that if I wasn't able to defend myself (using words, language and reasoning), then I didn't deserve any better. I see myself in each and every single one of those sweet defenseless kids who kill themselves because they cannot stand the pressure and stress of being bullied, and my heart goes out to each and every one of them. I do not have a degree in Psychology, but my dream  would be to work with children and teens who have been (or are being) bullied, to provide for them what I never had from my parents: a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a soft spot to fall on and a support system. I just wanted to write in, and tell you my story and ask that you continue to tape shows about bullying and what consequences bullying might have for the victims. It is so important to stand united and help the victims AND THE BULLIES!!! Thank you for listening,




Raluca
 
Replied By: devenzt on Jun 13, 2013, 5:21PM
As a young girl I was bullied in elementary school, junior high school and high school. I never told my mother about it, at all. There were boys that would make up lies about me being with them and there girls that teased me about my hair, the clothes I wore and even the lunches I brought to school. I struggled through school with all of this going on. If it wasn't  for my God, my father and my mother telling me how cute I was and how smart I was. I did not realize that it was all true until I got into high school. And then I turned a deaf ear to what was being said to me and what was being said about me. I graduated with good grades and with confidence and self respect and friends that cared and thought a lot about me. Sometimes people don't like you because they don't like themselves. It took just about half of my life to realize that. I wasn't caught up with the newest fashions, parties and being in a clique. I was just myself and I perservered. Sometimes I wish I could talk to some of the children that are letting these "Bullies" who take their joy away from them. And as a mother with a child that was,  bullied I also understand. My oldest daughter had the same problem and I had to go to the school and demand that 2 girls that were making her life miserable stop it. I made sure they saw me and I talked to their principal and teachers and counselor. I told them that I was going to allow my daughter to take care of the problem herself without anyone seeing her do anything. I know it was wrong but thank God it did not happen. I had to call their bluff. And she in a way started standing up for herself without violence. Children now a days also have to know saying ugly things to each other carry a lot of weight. You never know what kind of a person you are attacking. You never know what state of mind that person is in or how desperate they are. I know I'm going to get a lot of flack for this but I'm going to say this anyway. Be careful what you say today because it can come back to you and you will end up a victim of your own words. As a baptist I was taught that the tongue is the smallest part of the body but it can pack some devestating consequences. Be careful what you say always,  think before you say anything.  James 3:6


The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.  All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue.  It isa restless evil, full of deadly poison.   Proverbs15:4  The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.   Proverbs 18:21  the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.   I've found joy and solace in knowing that all the bullying that was done to me has not affected my life now.  And it can be that way with every person that has been bullied.  There is life after junior high school and life after high school. The way you get back at people who are like that is to live your life well. There will be a time when you will come across those that hurt you and some of their lives will not turn out as well as your life has. Just hold on because their is something that they cannot take away from you and that is your piece and your joy.   And for the parents don't ever say your child is not the agressor or my child will never do that. As a child myself I was told not to do certain things and without my parents ever finding out I did them anyway.   Children can be cruel but, as parents we should instill in them courage, confidence and values.  We should teach our children that they are not better than anyone else and that they should treat people with kindness and as they would want to be treated.  Everything you do whether good or bad will come back to haunt you in ways you will not have ever thought they would.  Talk to someone who will listen and don't mind being a friend and confidant to you.   Everyone is not going to want to be a friend to you a\re even like you. Half the time they don't know why they do not like you.  Sometimes you can be your own best friend and that's even better because you know how you 'd like to be treated.




T
 
Replied By: daveswidow on Jan 25, 2013, 12:30PM
In this fairly small community, both the perpetrator AND the victim get suspended equal time.


There is to be ZERO self defense.  


There is nothing a parent can do - supposedly even their attorney isn't allowed to view the video tape of the incident "because there are other kids in the video".  Yes, showing them standing there cheering the bully on, and also showing that unlike the rhetoric, teachers are NOT standing in the hallways during passing periods as they are supposed to for behavior monitoring, crowd control, etc.




Can the parent file civil suit again the bully and the bully's parent(s)?





 
Replied By: lhunter5 on Jan 21, 2013, 11:55AM
My son is bullied on a daily basis and I am just about at my end.  My son who is now 14 has been bullied most of his life.  I am just so tired of it and about at my end.  I was informed by his high school that it would be stopped there and that they wouldn't put up with it. Guess what it happens daily.  My son has had a basball whipped at his head but caught him in the spine.  He has been called a faggot, gay, loser, retarted, poor he has had threatening text messages sent to him, he has had sexual text messages sent to him.  The other day he was told to choke on a cock and die. These are just some of the things that have been happening to him since the end of september of this school year.  I came home early from work one day to find my son hiding in his closet because he didn't want to go to school.  Here in Canada by law a child must attend school until the age of 16 so I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.  I call the school everytime that things happen and all I seem to get is the run around.  At the beginning of this I was told that it didn't matter if it was heard through the grapevine that from now on the kids would be suspended.  All that has happened is these kids have been spoken too.  After the latest incident I called the school and was told by the vice principle that there was nothing he could do because he has no proof that this happened to my son.  I think I just about lost my mind when he said that to me.  He asked me when all this was happening in his school and I told him at lunch time.  He then proceeds to tell me that my son then should find a quiet place where theses people aren't at lunch time to go and sit.  So now not only does my son have to be subjected to this bullying every day because he has no proof, he wants him to go and hide away from everyone and everything. While his bulllies get to keep on bullying him and get free run to be able to do what they want.  I guess my 20-30 phone calls to the school isn't proof enough for him.  So if anyone has any suggestions on what I can do it would be greatly appreciated.
 
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