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Open House

This is the forum to talk about the issues that mean the most to you. From family and finances to parenting and relationships, what's on your mind? Share entertainment gossip or sound off about the latest news story. Want to get something off your chest about the show? Do you agree or disagree with Dr. Phil's advice to a guest? Come on in, kick off your shoes and make yourself at home!
Replied By: pblackburn3 on Nov 3, 2014, 11:22PM
Dr. Phil-

When watching episodes focusing on toxic relationships, you will  ask a guest why she stays with her abuser the answer is almost always the same, "I love him".  I am always suprised that you don't typically press harder for that guest to define what it is they love about thier abuser.  For example, do they love the cheating, the verbal abuse, the drinking, the physical abouse - what characteristics do they actually love, if any.  

I think it is important to send a message to your audiance that when you love somone it should not hurt (love and relationships are not all rainbows and cotton candy they are work but should not hurt on a daily basis) and what your guests are feeling is not love.  They may not know what love is because they have nothing else to compare it to but what they are experiencing is not love. 

Through life lessons I have developed a philosophy on my own importance in a relationship: I can be sad and miserable all by myself I don't need somone helping me feel that way.
Replied By: lizlove0 on Oct 16, 2014, 4:29PM
So I would like to write to Dr. Phil about something but the other people involved in the situation would be angry about it. Should I still write to him? Thoughts?
Replied By: kscrivner on Oct 8, 2014, 9:47AM
Dr Phil has been a hero in my opinon with the End the Slience on Domestic Violence campaign. He is the reason that I chose to become an Independent Damsel Pro with Damsel in Defense. Our company is a newer company that was originated in 2011 that is determined to assist women to become their own knight in shining armor. The statistics are scary regarding abuse against women and men that are in a domestic violence relationship. It is important that we all stand together and focus on ending these crimes or drastically lessening them. Damsel in Defense offers products that help women to have tools to protect themselves. Whether it is a stun gun or a pepperspray, this gives women extra confidence to make sure they are able to protect themselves. Please share this information with others you love to get the mission out there to EMPOWER, EQUIP and EDCATE our fellow sisters. I am super passionate about our mission and hope that this will help at least one woman somewhere. If just one person is saved, I have fullfilled my job.
Replied By: countrygirleye on Oct 8, 2014, 8:07AM
My children's father and Cps and my oldest daughter told lies on me. And because of a the lies and bavk stabbing behind my back my children's father got custody of my two small chidren and it has been three years since i have seen or talked to my little kids.... This has ruined my life and ripped my heart out.. I need the truth to come out so that i can have my babies back in my life.... Please help me...                                Betsy
Replied By: ragmuffin on Oct 1, 2014, 1:20PM
My son is addicted to Meth and I am so sick and tired of everyone saying get him help. There is help if you need it. BS.... YES THERE IS HELP IF YOU HAVE ALOT OF MONEY!!!!  No one wants to talk to you if you don't have insurance or cash money.Yes there is state funded help but you are on a waiting list and when you are desperate time is not on your side.PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME GET OUT OF THIS NIGHTMARE!!!!

Replied By: lilian5 on Sep 22, 2014, 8:14AM
I have a problem with my 2 year old.  Every time he gets back from his Dad.  He is kicking, punching and biting expecially if you are changing his nappy.

He will not eat and does not want to sleep in his own bed.  He will start screaming in his sleep.  I must phyisically wake him and then i spend at least and hour to calm him down.

The childre psychologist i took him to say that it is seperation anxiety and her suggestion was that his Dad must visit with him at the house and not take him away.

After she has spoken to the Dad her words where as follow:  My son is impossible naughty and that i must give him a big heiding and put him in his room to cry it out.

She is afrikaans and se actually used a swear word of being naughty.  Can any tell me their thoughts on this??
Replied By: brandysnap on Sep 12, 2014, 1:24AM - In reply to shyamentu
OMG can also mean Oh My Gosh or Goodness.  It is akin to Oh Golly! and rarely actually means to bring religion into the statement. 
Replied By: brandysnap on Sep 12, 2014, 1:14AM - In reply to missmarjoleine
I have rarely seen this happen, and when I did, the person was wearing a special occasion dress (which would have cost far more than they could afford).  They considered it a form of  'borrowing'. 

personally prefer to buy my expensive dresses on huge discount sales.
Replied By: rkzenrage on Sep 5, 2014, 1:19PM - In reply to shyamentu
I've been an atheist for my entire life & am a lay student of mythology & history. It seems to be an innocuous hold-over from a time when it meant more. Similarly, "god bless you" is no longer a safeguard against you sneezing your soul out. I just take it as it's intended.

As atheists in a theistic society with a secular government that's under siege at it's core, we have more pressing matters to be concerned about.
Replied By: hungfrommyhalo on Aug 22, 2014, 6:13AM
I feel so odd writing here.  I don't know what I'm doing.  All I know is I just want to release my thoughts through writing and the anonimity of the Internet is quite welcoming.  I don't want replies, and in fact if you give them (I tried to turn off replies but apparaently that's not an option) I will most likely not reply.  Speaking amongst a community that strives to understand is comforting.  So may I journal here?  We all seek healing in different ways.  This is mine, I guess....

My depression gets the best of me quite often.  I can't explain it, and I don't do it on purpose.  I don't know if I'm a glutton for punishment or perhaps I feel that I deserve it.  I'm going to go with the latter if given a choice, but if I'm being honest with myself it may be both.  What really gets to me, though, is... I truly feel I deserve it.  This darkness, this depression.  I deserve to be who I am.  I am the lesser.

All I wanted to do was write something and try to make sense of something that doesn't. Today I wrote:

“It's amazing how little it takes to feel rejected.  I can blame the depression, maybe that's the issue.  I don't know.  I've been told my whole life how sensitive I am.  And it could be that, too.  I don't know what it is.  A sister who skips lunch, a cousin who puts something off.  It's seriously incredible how little it takes to feel meaningless.  To the outside world I'm sure I'm ridiculous.  But in this world, the world I live in everyday, it's everything.  

You can pretend something doesn't exist, but it always catches up with you.”

I cried the entire time I wrote it.  What dawned one me after was:  I actually let a piece of it out.  I actually spoke about a piece of it, if even just to myself.  I no longer just held it in.  There was a small yet terrifying sense of freedom in that.  

I began to view it as a broken mirror.  There are these shards of glass when a mirror is shattered.  Some broken pieces are bigger than the others, and those give the bigger picture because they give the better reflection.  The major things that occur in a person's life is seen as those big pieces.  But when a mirror breaks, it doesn't just break into big pieces.  What about the smaller bits that shatter and spread all over?  You can't always find them all.  They scatter and so are easily lost and they are always the ones that hurt the most because they wedge themselves in the flesh of your feet when you least expect it.  And every time you take a step forward, there is this painful reminder of where you've been.  That's how we normally find those.  Or when you're trying so hard to pick up the pieces, they slice your fingers, they cut you deep and they make you bleed because they imbed themselves in you.  The big pieces are easy.  The small pieces are difficult reminders of a mirror that broke.  Sometimes you can't even find the tiny pieces until years later and you suddenly remember that stupid mirror that broke, whether your fault or not, and all the wounds are fresh again because once more, those pieces make me bleed.  And what's more awful is you remember what that mirror was.  How beautiful it began and what a disaster it ended up becoming.

That's the way I feel.  I focus on my depression verses what everyone else focuses on.  People, especially my family, look at those big pieces of me, knowing my past and the things that have happened.  But just the larger pieces, the glass doesn't cut their fingers or find a home in their foot.  I alone find those little pieces.  And it's the littlest pieces that hurt the most and make me bleed from the inside out.

So, I do feel ridiculous to the outside world.  But this is my world and no one but me lives in this everyday.  It's consuming.

I just want to be the best version of myself I can be.  Because what I am isn't good enough.
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