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Open House

This is the forum to talk about the issues that mean the most to you. From family and finances to parenting and relationships, what's on your mind? Share entertainment gossip or sound off about the latest news story. Want to get something off your chest about the show? Do you agree or disagree with Dr. Phil's advice to a guest? Come on in, kick off your shoes and make yourself at home!
Replied By: melissaw72 on Apr 15, 2015, 9:52PM
Let's see if this posts:

I hope this posts ok, wans't sure where to post it. I think I just lost the whole thing too and am re-writing it.

I'm sorry it is so long ... needed to put in background info first.

A couple years ago I was molested by a man in my building, on multiple occasions.  We were not in any relationship other than friends, and he knew that too (he's older than my parents are, early 70s). 

But ... anyway ... I know what it is like to be in an abusive relationship (even if a friendship) that is extremely hard to get out of.  He always got so angry when I wouldn't have sex with him (and the thing is I managed to never have intercourse with him, but he did other things to me I can't talk about now).  So controlling.  He is just a sex fanatic and as my psychiatrist puts it, "sees me as a sex object."

I finally was able to avoid him long enough and not talk to him for long enough that he finally stopped talking to me.  About 2.5 years ago I stopped talking to him, and we have barely spoken since.  He never even asked why I stopped talking to him (because he knows exactly what he did). My parents don't know, and won't for various reasons ... it really isn't any of their business anyway.

I never pursued a restraining order (even though my psychiatrist suggested to) because he did leave me alone and stopped talking to me all together.  Plus it was my word against his, and I am on medication and have a diagnosis that both work against me.  I can't fight that.  So I keep my distance. 

We still co-exist in this condo building, and rarely bump in to each other.  But because I live in the back side of the building, I can see him come and go all. the. time. and I can not stop getting his face out of my head.  And for some reason this is totally bothering me more than usual.

Me moving from here is out of the question for various reasons I can't really talk about.  But the point is I can't just forget about him because I am constantly being reminded of him by seeing him every day going to/from his car, as well as just his face in my mind won't go away.

Getting to the point of this post ... A friend of mine in the building (who knows him also and is friends with) knows what he did to me (I told her).  And she said she was sorry that happened.  So what does she do?  Just about every time I am on the phone with her or in the car with her she mentions his name as if we all are friends, and talks about him, says hi to him when I am around and he walks by, etc.

How do I nicely tell her not to talk about him around me?  I mean I can't tell her who to talk to and not talk to, who to be friends with or not, etc.  So I am trying to figure out a way to nicely tell her to stop talking about him to me/around me.  I need to keep in mind that she can be kind of arrogant, but in her own way ... not arrogant like you might think.  She also helps me get places in emergencies (DR appts, grocery store, etc) which I really rely on when my parents can't help me out. 

I just don't know what to do about it.  Next time she brings up his name I am going to say something, but not sure what I'll say right now.  I can't predict what she'll say so I know what to say back to her.  I'm not good at confrontation either, and am the kind of person that will cry when being yelled at and will think of things I wish I'd said when being "talked to" (or whatever).  It is hard for me to think in the moment.

Any advice on what to say to her, without sounding like a bitch myself?

Thanks for reading.

If you want to email me with advice instead of writing it here, my email is
Replied By: pattyt98 on Apr 14, 2015, 5:22PM
I love Dr. Phil.....but I've really gotten to dislike the dual topic shows.. It seems like you go from a heavy topic...and then mid show...some totally non related topic..  It's like..." My mothers a drug abuser" then after the commercial it goes to "watch my dogs new trick"

I can't make the connections......
Replied By: sunnyj on Apr 6, 2015, 9:28AM
I am the adult child of a narcissistic father & enabling mother.  When I watch your shows about families, I can imagine my parents responding like the loving totally devoted parents on your show.  I can see myself responding "appropriately", as would be expected by them.  The realities of the child being raised without love, empathy or devotion would be brilliantly hidden, even by the trained child.  Had I participated in such a show with my parents (and we had plenty of topics), it would have been a crushing blow in my young life covered up by all the sweetness & drama imaginable.

I actually started to understand how inept my parents were/are as I started raising children of my own.  I'm not so good at the public show, but my children know unconditional love & devotion.  My parents are brilliant at the public show and devoid of those all-important parenting emotions.  

My heart breaks when I see some of these kids, hearing & seeing their parents proclaim love to them with Dr. Phil.  That display of love may be the first time in the child's life he/she has heard this & the child revels in the moment.  After the show, it's back to reality.  I pray that Dr. Phil's devotion to children has a way of digging into the child's undisclosed pain & can start their road to healthy independence & healing.

I understand that most parents are not narcissistic, but in my world this was the norm.  I would hope that there is a way that Dr. Phil can screen these parents/grandparents out before showtime, but my reality has been that they are experts at passing such screens & endearing themselves to the public.  I did not figure it out until my 60's, having spent a lifetime blaming myself & feeling guilty for all of my parents' weaknesses.
Replied By: dancer1555 on Mar 29, 2015, 3:15AM
I don't know if there's a problem with the system if one takes too long to write something or whether the powers-that-be want only flattering comments.  It's been about two weeks since I posted a comment about having just discovered that Mrs. McGraw now has a skin-care line, but it hasn't been posted.   It just seemed to me that the poor, single mother of four in Keokuk who's trying so hard to support her family with her hand-made products or new idea and the unemployed mother and father in Flagstaff trying to do the same with their new idea don't need any more competition than they already have.  People wonder why their standard of living keeps slipping backwards and why no amount of effort can bring in more than a meager income.  It's not because there isn't enough money to go around.  It's because 95% of it keeps landing in the same pockets.  Another multi-million dollar contract for the Kardashians?  Seriously?  I've never watched the show, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know it's a whole lot of nothing.  Meanwhile the production staff probably earns what?  Maybe $50,000 each?   Course, if most Americans stop watching, maybe they'll find something better to do with all those advertising dollars.
Replied By: nuwasa on Mar 18, 2015, 9:19AM - In reply to mmdoggie
Do what ever you have to do too get a lawyer. If a lawyer is paid by you they are way more likely to try harder.   A  family .member was .walking  into a store carrying his 9 month old son. He tripped on a small step that he didn't see. They baby was not hurt but a lady in the parking lot called C.P.S. and told them that my family member was drunk. They came with the police and even tho the police put in their report that he was NOT drunk and the baby had no injuries,C.P.S. insisted that they take him to the hospital. They did, found no injuries, but C.P.S. made the Dad move out of his home and could not come anywhere around his children untl their report was done. For 3 months he could not see his children. They came back with no charges, of course. They completely turned these people's lives upside down for 3 months, for nothing! I know they need to protect children and I say hell yes but make sure they are going after people that are guilty of harming their children. Believe me there are plenty of them! Good luck.
Replied By: nuwasa on Mar 18, 2015, 8:53AM
I have to say, one can NEVER TRUST a sex offender, even if they have done their time and are "cured". My whole life has been turned upside down because of an Uncle. He raped me when I was FIVE YEARS OLD and kept molesting me until I was 10 years old. I told people, my teacher, our pastor, my sister knew, my Uncle's wife knew, nobody helped! He was even caught molesting me in the parking lot of a department store. A man came running up to the car and was very upset at what he saw but my Uncle told him something that calmed him down. I don't know what it was, I was too little to remember. See my Uncle was a very wealthy man and was very respected in our town. He got the benefit of the doubt. This man gave me a S.T.D. that never got caught until I was in my teens. By then it had really done some damage. I've had two surgery's and I could never have children. I am 60 years old and I still deal with this every day! He finally got caught when I started bleeding internally. He was able to go to "treatment" instead of jail. He came out cured. Right. He molested young, baby girls into his 80's. NO YOU CAN NEVER TRUST THAT THEY WON'T REOFFEND! THEY WILL!!  BTW, He and his wife adopted a boy because he knew if they got a girl he would molest her. He told me that.
Replied By: bazzethound on Mar 17, 2015, 8:43PM - In reply to storytotell
I would love to add my voice to your project

if you still need stories. You can contact me at
Replied By: yogaisevil on Mar 16, 2015, 9:49AM
I shake my head side to side, and my neck muscles begin to tense preventing me from continuing. This is a scientific test, and its yielding the same results every time I shake my head side to side.
Why? The voices in my head obviously don't like to be made dizzy? Just like we don't like to be made dizzy.

This rules out a biological cause and a genetic cause!

Need more proof!!

The voices in my head have even told me they are yogi's (not intentionally because they get emotionally upset as well) but are convinced the world won't believe me and if they do believe me, what can the world do, they're in my head after all and anything that happens to them will also happen to me! So they are comforted by this fact!

Need more proof!

They are susceptible to the laws of nature.
1) Nod your head, side to side, as quickly as you can without injuring yourself and observe the results, do it for as long as you can in one go.
2) Go on an amusement ride that will spin either vertically or horizontally for an extended period of time and observe the results.

 (1) they tense my neck muscles to prevent movement of my head
(2) they lose their balance and then immediately my symptoms improve. They are suppressing normal brain functioning, they can do more than just communicate.
They are at the mercy of your thoughts and are therefore susceptible to psychological stimulus such as horror, or gross stimulus.

Use this to your advantage to learn more.

The yogi's are susceptible to shock or unexpected events:

For example, I have been hit from behind before and fell face forward unexpectedly and my symptoms improved immediately. The laws of nature still apply to the yogi's, and in this case they were moved by the jolt as well and any pressure they were applying to my brain was released causing an improvement in my symptoms.
This rules out a biological cause and a genetic cause!

Need more proof!!

Ideas for further research:
1) put the patient through an experiment in which the patient doesn't have knowledge which incorporates the laws of nature and meaningful information will be gained. They react to sudden, unexpected sounds, sights, and touch, ie physical impact. For example: amusement ride.

 2) Need a device to detect movement in and around the head which is consistent with possession. This will provide further additional hard proof and is cost-effective.

I have another matter I would like to discuss.

Now a psychiatrist or psychologist will automatically have you believe that I am delusional and this can't be possible. It can make sense but because it wasn't discovered by one of their own, namely another psychiatrist or psychologist, that it can't be true, or because I have the illness, everything I now think has to considered delusional and I have lost all my rights as a human being.
Psychiatrist's and psychologists have put 100% of their faith in the cause being either biological or genetics and it is this closed-minded approach by the psychological community that has stunted the progress of mental illness, and I personally believe everyone in the psychological community should be held criminally liable for misrepresentation of their profession.
They have had their time and thier money and have failed, it's time to conclude that psychiatrist's and psychologists are on the wrong path, and this field needs to be more regulated and screened because of the failure of this field.
It is thier responsibility and sworn duty to take each and every case seriously regardless of how crazy it may sound because this is the profession they choose, this is a responsibility they have been assigned to handle and taking 15 minutes out of their day, as bad as it may seem, is not as crippling as the illness of the patients delivering the information. If psychiatrist can't handle this part of the job then quit and find a new profession. This will never be solved by listening only to 50% of the information, you have to consider all possibilities until schizophrenia can be explained. It's common sense.

I have over 40 years experience with schizophrenia, and I am educated with a degree, and possess over 20 years experience with yoga. In my lifetime I considered every possibility in determining a potential cause for schizophrenia no matter how stupid it may have seemed at first, it's not that hard to listen and take someone seriously.
They are yogi's, this is the big hype surrounding yoga is that they are all discovering how to possess another being and experience a higher state of consciousness where they are also no longer concerned with worldly problems, no physical limitations such as eating, exercise, its even stated in independent books of which I have no affiliation dating back decades as well as only a couple of years. This is what is known as krsna consciousness, they are criminals, they are not going to reveal their secrets, they are going to do the opposite and hide it from everyone. I am spoon feeding the information to you, there is not much more to figure out, it's printed in their books in easy to read language, and explains how all the yogic knowledge was acquired over 1000 years when there was no technology, and their knowledge is of the human body from the inside which is impossible to acquire from the outside of the human body.
All the world needs to do now is accept this as true, direct their research efforts towards determining the composition of these beings, and other observations and cure schizophrenia or at the least treat schizophrenia more effectively.
Collectively, and factually the world has already flawed greatly in terms of time spent and money wasted with their effort over the past 100 years. Everyone should take this fact into consideration before they comically dismiss an alternative explanation. Science so far has been a big joke, that's why psychiatrist's, and psychologist's don't have a lot of respect in the community.

Yoga is Possession!!!                 Youtube link:

Yoga - What you didn't know!! - please read below:

1) How did Krsna acquire knowledge of the properties of the soul?
2) How did yogi's acquire knowledge of the mind, the body, and the soul over thousands of years ago that with  today's technology is impossible to acquire, and can only partly be verified because of the advancements in technology?
3) Why is medical science unable to explain the origin of yoga knowledge?
4) Why is medical science unable to explain the cause of schizophrenia?

HOW YOU ASK? (step by step instructions)

Stage 1: Free yourself from desires that bind you to the world
1) Become a vegetarian to break the chain of the pleasure of food and drinks to practice fasting.
2) Become celibate to break the chain of sexual desires or the pleasures of the flesh.
3) Become a hermit to break the chain of family pleasures such as love and comfort, and social pleasures such as friends, dining, and entertainment.

Stage 2: Free yourself from desires that bind you to the body.
1) Practice fasting to starvation thereby achieving minimum sustenance.
2) During the process of fasting to starvation, choose a point of concentration, and concentrate on this point and do not let your concentration wander.

Stage 3: Fast until death and practice the technique to free the self from the body.
1) Technique: Concentrate on the chosen point and do not let your concentration wander. The body will slowly die and by maintaining concentration on a point the self will not take re-birth but will begin to levitate. In other words your self will be levitating in between the cycle of birth and death, the body will die but the self will not take birth until you're concentration is broken. By not breaking your concentration and entering into a state of levitation, the yogi or self or consciousness will ultimately enter into another body and experience the physical world through another body without being confined to the normal physical limitations of the body, in other words you have the benefits of the body without having to maintain or suffer the ill effects of the body. This conscious experience is known as Ultimate consciousness, Krsna consciousness, or an alternate higher form of consciousness, and is the only other experience for the self. Thus there are two ways to exist, you can experience the world with your own body or by hijacking another body. Either way your self or consciousness is in a body. The yogi's cannot be related to they are on a different level of consciousness. Their behavior will not make sense to us.

The medical definition for this is Schizophrenia.

Science is trying to re-invent the wheel. The original diagnosis thousands of years ago was possession but science made a distinction that doesn't exist when they identified schizophrenia as not being possession without scientific support and has since been headed in the opposite direction. Instead they have broken possession down into many individual pieces or diagnoses and are researching each piece individually, thus science cannot see the forest for the trees, and are too distracted by the leaves, and the veins of the leaves! There is a single cause!

The yogi's are dominating the psychiatrist's easily, and have effectively out maneuvered the psychiatrist's to the point that the patients are no longer revealing the truth of their illness in fear of persecution and the psychiatrist's are too blame. Who is regulating the psychiatrists? They need to be audited, and retrained, and their effectiveness monitored. They are too busy enjoying their paycheques!

Where is the proof of a biological or genetics cause that is a pre-requisite before commiting millions of tax payers dollars in the name of research.

True yoga is not about exercises and breathing, it is a change in perception of the world, and the practice has a specific goal in mind. their is sufficient proof in traditional texts dating back thousands of years or only a few years or seek advice from someone who is knowledgeable in yoga. The control the yogi's have over the patient ranges from 0 to 100, with 100 being full blown-out symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia to 0 being no change in behavior or appearance and the patient is normal. It is because of this wide range of control that the yogi's have been able to mislead and confuse the researchers. They are listening and are making the necessary adjustments to discredit the patient, it's very easy to do when the scientific community isn't aware of the dynamics at play. Memory can be suppressed preventing the patient from recalling specific information that would help solve schizophrenia.

The methods used to treat schizophrenia are embarrasing for the psychiatric community, Electro-convulsive therapy causes brain damage, and the chinese have even drilled holes in patient's head in an attempt to treat schizophrenia. The world is still in their barbarian phase of understanding schizophrenia, and yet have the easiest road. Patients have told the psychiatrist's they are real beings but the psychiatrist's have turned a deaf ear to their input.

Renunciation of the world is a serious commitment, and there must be  a justifiable reason as to why someone would take this step and the reason is power via possession.

Almost all of you would never consider renouncing the world, and factor in the amount of money involved in this industry and you have the reason why schizophrenia remains unsolved. Researchers care more about their paycheques then solving schizophrenia and should face the consequences of misrepresenting their profession. Psychiatrists are foolishly using known knowledge of schizophrenia as a basis of comparison against new knowledge of schizophrenia, specifically the concept of delusions and thereby dismiss the patient's input without a full understanding of the concept.  Not 100% of the patient's input is delusional, and science fails to make this distinction and valuable insight is overlooked and no progress is made.  Maya or illusion is the term used and defined by yogi's, this is how they are confusing the world. Why do Scientists believe schizophrenics are hearing voices, this cannot be proven conclusively but must be accepted by the psychiatrist's through trust, therefore why do psychiatrist's selectively believe some of the input and not all? How do they make the distinction between what is fact and fiction?
All the pieces of the schizophrenia puzzle have been solved except for actual contact with the yogi by anyone other than the possessed.  Medical Science is going to have to accept the fact that they cannot make contact with the yogi's to conclusively prove 100% that schizophrenia is indeed possession (but 90% is far better than the 0% they have for either a biological or genetics cause) and rely on the input provided by the patients and acknowledge their lack of progress in the direction of research conducted so far, so that real progress can be made.  There is insurmountable evidence proving schizophrenia is possession and that the government is wasting valuable time and money searching for a cause where one doesn't exist and the direction of future research needs to be changed with the cause as possession consistent with the input from patients, and not biological or genetics consistent with input from Medical Scientists with the goal of  fattening their wallets in mind.
Schizophrenia can be cured today!!!

Attempting to solve schizophrenia without knowledge of the illness is like trying to solve a math problem by chewing gum. They are two completely seperate events with no commonality, one is for pleasure (chewing gum), the other is for work (solving a math problem). The schizophrenic patients are interested in the work so the problem can be solved, the doctor's are interested in an extension of their education, so they can utilize the knowledge they have formally acquired for self-gratification, justification of their education, table talk, and peer to peer recognition in a language and a community only they understand. They are only analyzing the patients and concluding with terminology not cures or treatments, which is the goal of science.  Anyone can analyze!

What is the point of all those years of education if it doesn't produce measurable tangible results?

While psychiatrists have been busy getting a degree in psychology & medicine, I have been busy getting a degree in schizophrenia!

Please note: This is not a personal attack on Dr. Phil, I appreciate the fact I have a voice and that is an important first step, without communication, nothing could ever be achieved.
Replied By: camclaugh on Mar 7, 2015, 5:20PM
Does anybody wonder why there aren't more updates about prior guests?  Do you think there are success stories or failures? Just curious....
Replied By: mmdoggie on Feb 21, 2015, 3:18PM
What are parents suppose to do when the legal system in family court is stacked against you? CPS has a list of stakeholders who all are dependent on your child entering their system so they can pull in federal dollars. When your own public defender wont defend you properly in court, what are a parents options?

Should your public defender(PD) be a stakeholder or have a vested interest in an agency which is the opposing party to your legal case? Should your PD in a Juvenile Dependency case be listed on a Roster in the document titled, Napa System Improvement Plan 2013 CFS, as a stakeholder and be a participator and a contributor of a SIP Report? This report has a list of the stakeholders and their titles. I found the entire list to be very interesting due to the fact that every stakeholder on the list also provide services to parents who are involved with CPS.  COPE provides parenting classes, Parents Can provides advocates for the parents, NEWS provides services for domestic violence victims, Aldea provides counseling services for the family, Police provide support to the CPS workers who come to take the children, CPS  social workers supervise and dictate how the family case plan is to be carried out to it's completion, and the public defender that is assigned to all the mothers involved with CPS provides legal services and is also the last name listed on pg 8 of 112 of the following document titled 'Napa System Improvement Plan 2013 CFS' which can be viewed at this link:

The link below is a standard form letter that the PD  gives to all her CPS clients whether they are guilty or innocent. This letter is unprofessional, rude, judgmental, and it talks down to the client as if they guilty. What happened to innocent until proven guilty.This letter is at the following link: 

The tone of this letter seems to imply that they think all of their CPS clients meet the following profile: 

1. Lacks responsibility 

2. Dishonest 

3. Forgetful 

4. In therapy 

5. Has a drug counselor 

6. Harmful to the child 

7.Commits perjury 

8. Disorganized 

9. Unworthy of having children 

Is it appropriate to give all clients this this letter when not all clients fit in this category. Where in this letter are they representing the parent and their rights? 

When the issue of not receiving proper service of the required 24 hours in advance before the hearing  was brought to the attention of the public defender (PD), many were told that bringing that up in court really isn't going to make any difference. Proper service is needed in order to allow the parents to view the social workers report to the court to make an informed decision as to whether or not there is reason to dispute the PRIMA FACIE evidence. 

The social workers report is loaded with false information. Clients are instructed to only make note of the mistakes that  are really important, to not waste  time with the small stuff. When the PD is given the list of corrections, they glances at it and advise their client that they shouldn't try and make any waves, that disputing the social workers report would just be a waste of time and energy and wouldn't really make any difference in the outcome anyway.

Fighting to keep custody of our children is not a waste of time and energy, it's a necessity for a parent. Our children are the reason we get out of bed in the morning, they are what drives us. Our children is what gives us a sense of purpose. We chose to trade in our life style of being single in for a lifetime commitment to being a parent. 

What is a waste of time as well as money is having a public defender like this  on the payroll. For what? They are  not protecting the Parental Rights of the parent from being violated. They are not defending the parent against the false information in the social workers report. They don't  send out an investigator to  gather facts and statements regarding the case against them.They advise their client to not demand their parental rights and to let the issue of proper service slide.  

The only report filed with the judge is the one CPS files. Where is the filed report from your PD that tells what your side of the story is? Where is the defense that is suppose to be happening? Not once does the PD suggest any options or legal moves in order to keep the child in the home and the family together. The client is told that the first hearing is a nothing hearing, it is the next one they need to worry about.

 If the judge only has a report from CPS to review for the facts in the case, that is what he has to base his decision upon. The judge has no reason to think that the facts might be incorrect if no one informs the court of the parents defense on the items that are incorrect. At what point in this court process does the parent get to defend themselves and have the  court hear the parent's account of how things happened? After the fact? When their CPS case closes? It sure isn't happening in the first court hearing and it's not happening before the children are court ordered to be put in the care and control of CPS.

The person who is suppose to be on your side to defend you and your  parental rights just implied that defending your  children and demanding your parental rights is a waste of time and energy. Their job is to make sure your parental rights are not getting violated and to defend you as their client.  If your PD doesn't care about what is in the best interest of your families strong emotional bond and allows the opposing party to violate your Parental Rights,  where do you turn for help? What options are you left with? You are railroaded into being compliant as they lock you into an 18 month case plan with a list of CPS's demands that you are required to complete for the possibility of getting your kids back. 

What are parents suppose to do when the legal system in family court is stacked against you? 
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