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Open House

This is the forum to talk about the issues that mean the most to you. From family and finances to parenting and relationships, what's on your mind? Share entertainment gossip or sound off about the latest news story. Want to get something off your chest about the show? Do you agree or disagree with Dr. Phil's advice to a guest? Come on in, kick off your shoes and make yourself at home!
Replied By: hungfrommyhalo on Aug 22, 2014, 6:13AM
I feel so odd writing here.  I don't know what I'm doing.  All I know is I just want to release my thoughts through writing and the anonimity of the Internet is quite welcoming.  I don't want replies, and in fact if you give them (I tried to turn off replies but apparaently that's not an option) I will most likely not reply.  Speaking amongst a community that strives to understand is comforting.  So may I journal here?  We all seek healing in different ways.  This is mine, I guess....

My depression gets the best of me quite often.  I can't explain it, and I don't do it on purpose.  I don't know if I'm a glutton for punishment or perhaps I feel that I deserve it.  I'm going to go with the latter if given a choice, but if I'm being honest with myself it may be both.  What really gets to me, though, is... I truly feel I deserve it.  This darkness, this depression.  I deserve to be who I am.  I am the lesser.

All I wanted to do was write something and try to make sense of something that doesn't. Today I wrote:

“It's amazing how little it takes to feel rejected.  I can blame the depression, maybe that's the issue.  I don't know.  I've been told my whole life how sensitive I am.  And it could be that, too.  I don't know what it is.  A sister who skips lunch, a cousin who puts something off.  It's seriously incredible how little it takes to feel meaningless.  To the outside world I'm sure I'm ridiculous.  But in this world, the world I live in everyday, it's everything.  

You can pretend something doesn't exist, but it always catches up with you.”

I cried the entire time I wrote it.  What dawned one me after was:  I actually let a piece of it out.  I actually spoke about a piece of it, if even just to myself.  I no longer just held it in.  There was a small yet terrifying sense of freedom in that.  

I began to view it as a broken mirror.  There are these shards of glass when a mirror is shattered.  Some broken pieces are bigger than the others, and those give the bigger picture because they give the better reflection.  The major things that occur in a person's life is seen as those big pieces.  But when a mirror breaks, it doesn't just break into big pieces.  What about the smaller bits that shatter and spread all over?  You can't always find them all.  They scatter and so are easily lost and they are always the ones that hurt the most because they wedge themselves in the flesh of your feet when you least expect it.  And every time you take a step forward, there is this painful reminder of where you've been.  That's how we normally find those.  Or when you're trying so hard to pick up the pieces, they slice your fingers, they cut you deep and they make you bleed because they imbed themselves in you.  The big pieces are easy.  The small pieces are difficult reminders of a mirror that broke.  Sometimes you can't even find the tiny pieces until years later and you suddenly remember that stupid mirror that broke, whether your fault or not, and all the wounds are fresh again because once more, those pieces make me bleed.  And what's more awful is you remember what that mirror was.  How beautiful it began and what a disaster it ended up becoming.

That's the way I feel.  I focus on my depression verses what everyone else focuses on.  People, especially my family, look at those big pieces of me, knowing my past and the things that have happened.  But just the larger pieces, the glass doesn't cut their fingers or find a home in their foot.  I alone find those little pieces.  And it's the littlest pieces that hurt the most and make me bleed from the inside out.

So, I do feel ridiculous to the outside world.  But this is my world and no one but me lives in this everyday.  It's consuming.

I just want to be the best version of myself I can be.  Because what I am isn't good enough.
Replied By: ragmuffin on Aug 16, 2014, 12:13AM
I am so tired of hearing everyone say theres help out there if you need it.THERE IS LOTS OF HELP IF YOU HAVE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS YOU CAN SPEND. COME ON DR.PHIL COME TO MY WORLD AND WATCH IN SLOW MOTION AS YOUR SON IS SLOWING DYING BEING ADDICTED TO METH AND CAN'T GET ANY HELP!!!! ALL STATE FUNDED REHABS ARE FULL AND HAVE WAITING LIST SO PLEASE PLEASE STOP SAYING THERE IS HELP IF YOU NEED IT. LA HACIENDA IS 1000.00 DOLLARS A DAY OR MORE AND YOU MUST HAVE INSURANCE. I live in a daily nightmare with my sons addiction and now my granddaugher whois 5 is suffering. They have labeled her autistic because of her being immature due to her parents.She is a beautful bright child who does not deserve to be labeled because of her parents mistakes. SO PLEASE PLEASE STOP PREACHING ABOUT HELP OUT THERE UNTIL YOU COME BACK TO THE REAL WORLD WHERE NOT EVERYONE HAS INSURANCE AND ALOT OF MONEY!!!!!

Replied By: msez3qr0oq on Aug 11, 2014, 8:20PM
I don't understand.

I think about cutting myself open on a daily basis and I don't do it.

What makes him better than me; that he can do it and I fail at it?
Replied By: sandicheeks10 on Aug 10, 2014, 11:23AM
hi dr phil my real name is not sandi. im sorry but i have to hide my identity. my mom could read this. i am 23 and i live in the philippines. i believe my mom is very controlling. she controls me and all the people arpund her. she thinks she is always right and she is very narrow minded. she does not take criticisms well. i love her but i dont want to lose respect. i am still unemployed since i cannot make my own choices. i still have a curfew and they just want me to stay in our house all day doing nothing so they could keep mr "safe". she controlls everybody around her and my dad goes along with her to avoid fighting. i am to the point suicidal that i constantly think of ending my life to end this misery. i know its stupid but im sorry. i cant help it. they are just too much!
Replied By: shyamentu on Aug 6, 2014, 4:19PM - In reply to willemp
Hiya Willem,

I'm atheist, so perhaps you won't care for my opinion, but I do not feel that the phrase is particularily offensive or, rather, meant to be. I think for most Americans, it's more a habit than any conscious decision to take His name in vain. I avoid the phrase, for somewhat obvious reasons, so perhaps there's something I'm not aware of going on here. I have known other atheists to use it which always confused me a little.

It's an interesting thought though, I never really considered why people use the expression, and I'd like to know Dr Phil's opinion on it, too :)

- Shyamentu
Replied By: missmarjoleine on Jul 30, 2014, 6:52PM
every now and than i am very surprised at what people can find acceptable, or even normal.

people who go to the store to buy a new outfit, than proceed to wearing it for a day, leaving the tags on, and take it back to the store the very next day to get their money back.

what is that about?
to me that is at the very least a type of cheating, and i would take it so far to say it is a form of stealing 

am i the only one here who finds it not only rude and wrong but also kinda disgusting..i mean.. people have been wearing this...? i know of someone who bought pants only to find out that there was a bloodstain in the crotch... how gross is that??

i am wondering what makes people do this, what is going through peoples minds to think that is it okay to take advantage like this...
and why is this so normal all of the sudden? 

the other day there was a lady wearing a shirt with the tag on, so i pointed this out and offered to cut it off for her. she claimed that she had forgotten to take the label out, but it was okay, i didnt have to cut it, her hair was supposed(!!) to cover it. (ha ha ha so much for "forgetting to take it out")
now she is at least trying (poorly) to hide it, but there are people flaunting this behaviour.
why is it so wonderfull to be a cheater in life?

small side note here, i can kinda get some of it, if you live in poverty and cant afford clothes.. but even than, there are better and more becomming options than cheating..
what really gets me is the people who have money, but do this 'just because they can'

Replied By: loves2bake2012 on Jul 29, 2014, 8:07PM
So my friend, is, in my opinion, screwing up her child today, she just posted this on facebook: 

To get ash ready for school again, I decided to give her my MasterCard. I pay it off every 2 weeks, it don't matter what she spends within reason. So my girl can be ready for fall semester.

At four she has her own iPad and TV, my friend has also admited that her room is over flowiing with toys (no joke the stuff actually spills out into the hall) she says she gets rid of stuff, but then she just buys her more, The father is not in the picture, and like a lot of single moms, I feel like she is trying to make up for his absence with "Stuff" 

Replied By: jahbowha1 on Jul 21, 2014, 4:06PM
dr. phil i need your help .i am jahbowha newman i need with my mental illnesses. i am turn 23 this friday and i need this help for me and family. i really need the help
Replied By: jahbowha1 on Jul 21, 2014, 4:05PM
i am jahbowha newman i need with my mental illnesses. i am turn 23 this friday and i need this help for me and family. i really need the help
Replied By: jazzyjojo123 on Jul 6, 2014, 5:37PM
Dear Dr. Phil,

My name is Jasmine Goers. I am 19 years old and I will be turning 20 on August 16, 2014. I was just recently in a car accident. It was on January 25, 2014. The vehicle I was in was a silver 2013 Nissan Rogue. There were a total of 5 people in the vehicle. The driver’s name is Krista. In the passenger seat is where Michael sat and in the back seat on the left was Anthony and on the right was Nick and sadly I was sitting in trunk. All of us were really excited that day because we were going to a club called AMP for Nick’s 18 birthday. There’s a deal that AMP does is you have to post your name to their Facebook page and you can get in for free as long as you get in AMP before 11PM. Well, we live in Port Richey, Florida and AMP was in Tampa, Florida, which is about an hour away and we left about 9:15-9:20PM. When you get to AMP you usually have to wait an hour in line, so you can imagine we were in hurry, so we left and Krista was speeding about 75-85mph there. I was lying in the trunk the whole time. There was also another group of people in another car and we were supposed to follow them but Krista wanted to go her own way. We were about 5-10 minutes from AMP and we were driving off a ramp on 275 and we came upon a stop sign and Krista went to turn left without stopping at the stop sign and was speeding. She says she didn’t see the stop sign and she also says she didn’t see a car coming. Well that car ended up t-boning us on the left side of the car. We flipped once and we were a matter of just a couple inches from hitting an electric pole and we were about 10 feet away from hitting a house. When the car accident happen, I didn’t know that we were in a car accident till we hit the ground after rolling once and I assume it was when we were flipping, I remember feeling like I was floating or even maybe flying. At the moment I didn’t think I was in trouble so  when I felt like I was floating, I looked at all the objects around me and was thinking “oh cool look at all this stuff floating”. I also remember reaching out to touch the stuff. When we hit the ground I hear Krista and Michael yell “get Jasmine out of the trunk”. Thank God Michael came to my rescue and he helped me out of the car. I wasn’t in any pain at the time so I stood up thinking everything was fine but it wasn’t. I fell to the ground when I got out of the car and I spit up blood and Michael was helping me to fix my clothes. I  crawled what I think was probably about 5 feet and went to lie on the ground and that is when I felt all the pain in my lower back and I started to feel like I couldn’t breathe. Michael was there for me the whole time making sure I stayed calm and didn’t have a panic attack. He also called my mother to inform her of what had happen. Once the Ambulance got there I kept telling them that I couldn’t breathe and they refused to give me oxygen so I could breathe. The Paramedics but a neck brace on me and they put me on a spinal board and I was in one of the most pain that I’ve ever had. When the Ambulance brought me to the Emergency room I remember seeing pretty colored lights on the ceiling, while they were rolling me to my room. From there on I don’t remember much so I’m going to tell you want my Mother said. When I was in the emergency room I didn’t have any pain medication in till about three hours after the car accident. The nurses were more worried about me being pregnant than anything else. I went through a lot of tests and I don’t really remember doing any tests. All I remember is that I was extremely tired and was in a lot of pain. After I had all my tests they told my Mother I had a broken back and a shattered neck. They also told my Mother that I would have to go into an emergency surgery. I had neck surgery on January 27. The surgery was supposed to be 3 hours long but it ended up being 5 hours. I like to say that I have a fake neck because my neck consists of cadaver bones, bolts, screws and plates. I was forced to wear a neck brace and a back brace for 4 months. I was in ICU at the hospital for a week and I was in Critical Care for another week. I went to HealthSouth Rehabilitation for about a week. Finally I went home where I was forced to sleep in a recliner because my insurance wasn’t allowing to get a hospital bed at the time. They finally allowed me to have a hospital bed that I am currently still using. I have made great progress since then. I am no longer wearing my neck or back brace. I don’t have complete motion in my neck and they told me I never would.

I was not the only one hurt in the car accident but I did get the worse. Krista had a broken pinkie. Michael had whip flash. Anthony had some spinal problems and had to stay in the hospital for a couple days and he had to have physical therapy. And Nick we don’t know a lot about what happen to Nick we just think he had some bruises and bumps because he never went to the emergency room. The reason why I’m contacting you is because Krista has done nothing but lied about the car accident. She blamed an innocent man and said the driver of the other car was drinking and driving, when he wasn’t. She also said we flipped in the car 3-5 times, when we didn’t. Also while I was lying on the ground on my death bed she asked me to lie to the cops and say I was wearing a seatbelt, but I didn’t do that. She has told all of her family and friends this story and she has had people turn on me. I have had three people message me saying the whole car accident was my fault and that my Mother and I were threatening her and harassing her. My Mother and I didn’t do that what so ever. Krista is the one that has been stalking me and harassing me. She has reported my Facebook account fake so many times that I can’t even add any friends now. I cry at least once a day because I thought Krista was my friend and I thought friends were supposed to be there for you no matter what. I knew that sitting in the trunk was wrong and that I shouldn’t have done that but Krista shouldn’t have been speeding and ran a stop sign. I’ve gotten to the point instead of being grateful that I’m alive to I want someone to kill me. I know I can’t do it myself and never would be able to. All I want is for her to speak the truth and not to have people turn on me calling me a liar and saying everything is my fault. I’ve tried my hardest to move on and forgive her but I can’t. With me just lying in my bed not able to do anything and all I think of is that all she has done is lied and turned people against me. The people that have messaged me have told me that she really did care about me and was sorry but not once did she say sorry to me or did she ask about me at the hospital. She also left the Tuesday after the car accident, to move to Tennessee. When she came to the hospital to say goodbye she made up a story and said that people were making fun of me and laughing at me at the car accident and that’s a lie. She only messaged me 2-3 times asking how I was doing. She also blocked me on all of the social networks that we were friends on and her excuse for blocking me and not talking to me was because her lawyer said so, but she didn’t even attempt to ask anyone else to see how I was doing. In my eyes, she never cared about me and all I want now is for the truth to come out and for everyone to know the truth. If it takes me weeks, month, years, I will still fight for everyone to know. I will fight till the day I take me last breathe and I need your help Dr. Phil. I don’t want to waste my life on trying to tell everyone the truth I rather it be sooner than later. So please Dr. Phil help me.


Jasmine Goers
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