2012 Shows

(Original Air Date: 04/24/12) When Tiffany, 23, last appeared on the show, she shocked her parents, Ken and Susie, when she revealed that she was hooked on heroin. With a history of OxyContin addiction, Tiffany had been in -- and checked herself out of -- three rehabs, but her parents believed that she had finally cleaned up for good on her own, until they heard otherwise from Tiffany on Dr. Phil’s stage. Tiffany blamed her addiction problems on her broken relationship with her father, a police detective who said he was embarrassed to have an addict for a daughter. Ken and Susie both admitted to enabling her with their financial support and vowed to change their behavior. Did they do as promised? After successfully completing a treatment program, and 166 days into her sobriety, Tiffany made another surprising confession to her parents: she relapsed. She returns to explain what happened. Does she still blame her father? Find out why Dr. Phil is not buying her excuses. Plus, can Ken and Susie do more to support Tiffany’s recovery? Tune in to learn why Dr. Phil says addiction is a family disease and has to have a family solution.

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: austintatious on Aug 14, 2012, 10:06AM - In reply to djpoetry1
to be an addict.  Daddy did her wrong.  There is lots of agreement around that why of course she's an addic t look at her life.  I'd rather look at the lives of those who become stronger because of their setbacks.  You ALWAYS ALWAYS have the choice.   With her suicide run nobody wins but when she OD's it will be a justifiable tragedy wont' it?????   Drugs are an easy out...show me the person who thrives in spite of their horror stories...now that is what impresses me.  
Replied By: britstarnes on Aug 10, 2012, 6:11PM - In reply to djpoetry1
I am so proud of you! i was not venting really at the rehabs but for the help and support that i needed as well as her, i was alone in this country with no one and had never had any knowledge of drugs ( alot wiser now). I know that my child is the only one responsible for her actions and i know that i will not be an enabler again, yes i was way back then, never knew it though! I learned something new again on doctor phil today that their maturity growth stops at the time they are taking drugs, this helped me understand why she never made it out on her own in the big world even though now she is 25, she never had the skills! NO! just alot of frustration thrown at there to people who can help, who have help and who dont want help all the things i could have learned years ago, although i learned so much!..thank you for pointing out the obvious for me, i was blinded for a second in sadness. good luck and stay strong!
Replied By: djpoetry1 on Aug 10, 2012, 5:29PM - In reply to simplycynthia
You feel for the parents? What about the step-mother who is attempting to sabotage the daughter's recovery. Sometimes you have to look below the surface. Just because someone has a smiley face doesn't mean that they are nice or that their motives are good. I am a psych student and I realize that there are many factors that develop an individual into the person that they are. Some of that has to do with attachment to the parents at an early age. This daughter is quite obviously still suffering about her father abandoning her when she was a child. Look at it like this, if you are 8 or 10 years old when something tragic happens to you and know one has taught you how to evaluate your emotions, you reach inside yourself for an answer. What answer do you think a child comes up with? Do you think they say to themselves, well Dad is gone and I am ok and it doesn't bother me? Or do you think that child takes that pain and pushes it down into a corner of herself, where it is a constant reminder that she has been rejected. Remember, she is only a child. This pain is then relieved when she takes a drink. She finds solace. However, it is only temporary. What she needs is to sit down with her father and to express how she feels about him not being there for her. She will shed some tears and that is when the healing begins. These people who always say oh get over it are people who obviously have no emotions. Forgiveness is a process that takes time, but when done properly yields great results. I often tell people that alcoholics and addicts are not bad people but troubled people and when you can get to the root of the trouble and expose it to the light....BAM...a new life. The problem is that most people are afraid of the truth. But with God, He will give you courage to face the truth.
Replied By: bettym170 on Aug 10, 2012, 5:24PM
As I posted earlier, there is hope for everyone.  We had to have our son arrested and the court was going to do a pre-trial intervention, we said NO..he goes to rehab or he goes to jail. NO parent wants to see their son or daughter go to jail or be buried.  This helped us and while my son was shackled in the courtroom it was he who realized that we meant business.  Yes, we do have the means to pay for rehab BUT he is an adult and he would not have done the work had we paid for it.  If you are truly desperate, have your family member arrested and request a 30-60-90 day treatment program, the courts are literally honored to assist.

Good luck.

Replied By: bettym170 on Aug 10, 2012, 5:17PM - In reply to seldel
We had a similar problem with our son and cocaine.  We finally had him arrested because he's an adult;  he was placed into a court ordered treatment program.   Our son is now doing really well, he's working on his Master's in accounting.  I never would have thought. 

Know that having your own child arrested in the hardest thing you may have to do but it beats out having to bury him and if I had to do it all over again, I would.

Best of luck to you.  Betty
Replied By: djpoetry1 on Aug 10, 2012, 5:10PM - In reply to seldel

Don't give up hope. I don't have any money, yet I have been sober and healing for over six years. If you live in a state that has medicaid, like I do, then your son can go into a rehab. It doesn't matter where someone goes to rehab, if they are determined to stay sober, then they will. When I left rehab, I decided not to go back home because if I would have, I would start the cycle all over again. I left rehab with two pairs of pants, two shirts and faith that God would lead me to a new life. I am now a senior psychology student. The thing that I have learned is that no addict or alcoholic is going to stay sober because someone else wants them to. They have to be tired of living that chaotic life. They have to believe that they are worthy of the good life. The average addict and or alcoholic is abusing substances because they are in emotional pain. They are trying to block memories of hurt and disappointment. The breakthrough will come when they get the courage to speak about these issues that are troubling them. However, most addicts are to afraid to share their true hurts, because they think they will hurt their mom's or dad's feelings. They would rather hold it inside and destroy themselves. I was terrified to open my eyes to the unhealthy relationship that I had with my mother. While I realize that she did the best she could, that still didn't help me receive the emotional support, encouragement and guidance I needed as a child. Nor did it help that my step father was a violent alcoholic who physically abused me and my mother. There was a lot of anger and hurt underneath my addiction. However, God gave me the courage to look inside and to peel away the layers until I finally reached the real me. What a gloriuous feeling. I now have a new life and a new hope thanks to God. I know the heart and mind of the addict, that is why I am building toward a career in the field. Don't give up on your child. Always pray, and realize that God will help us, but He is not going to do the foot work for us. He will give us guidance and then we have to take the necessary steps to move toward sobriety and healing. God bless you.
Replied By: djpoetry1 on Aug 10, 2012, 4:51PM - In reply to britstarnes
The fact that someone goes to a nice expensive rehab, has nothing to do with their success. I went to the Addiction Institute of NY for 21 days. They barely paid any attention to me, because I was a black, older woman who lacked finances. However, that was over six years ago and I remain sober. I think it was the fact that I had to work so hard for my sobriety. I had to rely on Giod, because I didn't have the family or social support that some had. I began going to church, Celebrate Recovery, AA, Al-Anon and Adult Children of Alcoholic Meetings. I even went to quite a few therapists because I could not work with someone who thought that my reliance on God was too much. I can tell you this, when I had my first real temptation at about 3 months sober, it was God that I prayed to and the next thing I knew, it was morning and I had survived the night, thanks to God. Now, when I have a strong temptation, I go to an AA meeting. I have learned that when you keep the temptation locked inside of your head, it builds more power, so it is wise to speak about it. However, some people believe that because they are at a meeting, they are supposed to talk about anything else except the fact that they are being tempted to use. I have also learned that I must talk about what is on my mind, regardless of what others think. It is that secret thought that can send someone full fledged into a relapse. When ever I go to any kind of doctor, I always tell them that I am recovering from heroin and cocaine.  I would not subject myself to distributing pills to patients. I don't go into bars or touch a can of beer or a bottl of wine. I have no business having any contact with substances that are harmful to me. My sobriety is my responsibility. I can't wait for someone to help me. Just like I made my way to get the drugs, I have to make my way to maintain my sobriety. I am grateful to God for His continued love, hope and healing touch. I have conquered so many of my demons. God has given me the courage to face the issues that were emotional traps for me. I did a lot of crying, writing, talking and praying, but it is all paying off now. I am a senior psychology student...specializing in substance abuse with a minor in Christian Counseling. I love God, I love me, I love some of my family members and I love my new life, thanks to God.
Replied By: jstarzsocali on Aug 10, 2012, 4:18PM
As Dr.Phil is asking her these questions, all I hear... are excuses coming from this chicks mouth. I will tell you what...... I had a severe drinking problem when I got out of the military.  Then? I got into Coke and I had a great life. A ow husband, a house, lots of moola in the bank... but still. I felt alone. I didn't know how to manage my fear, anger, hurt and I used to say the same thing "you don't understand" because, NO ONE has been in my shoes.. blah blah blah.  

I went through the AA program, and by the grace of my higher power, I am sober. I can't imagine myself looking to alcohol or drugs to relieve the pain.  I picked up Dj'ing again about a year ago. I am stoked because that was my outlet and I felt, without even TALKING to anyone.. everyone in the crowd felt me and the passion I had put into the blood.sweat, and tears.  I have so many reasons in my life why I could go to that teeny step behind and get high or SOOOO drunk I can't remember what I was doing. I feel, that a lot of addicts/alcoholics are scared of their potential because it isn't a reality to succeed if they go beyond their potential.  I know my life isn't all roses, petunias and lavendar, but I know how to Cope.  Coping skills like, journaling, or excersising, or making the bad memories, getting courage, and go to that time, place or anything... and make something of yourself. Plus? Liars? Really? The older we all get the more we are expected to let go of the anger over drama; Drama is pointless... and resentments, so it says in AA, is THE number one offender of self destruction and/or relapse. Good to see that she was agreeing with some stuff. I feel bad for her in a way, but in a way I have NO sorrow because of my she did it. I wasnt even listening when she told the audience that she didnt have a problem. WOOOW! It saddens me she is putting herself thru self destruction.

~Jessi Appell
Replied By: britstarnes on Aug 10, 2012, 2:23PM
It broke my heart watching this young girl, my daughter was on meth for so long i was on my own no family exhusband was in denial, for years i would go searching places at night for her, places you should not go in the day never mind the night, finaly she broke the law, and the law go a hold of her, sent her to a womens rehab like a prison but helps them with their addiction, i had ran out of things to help her so this was a blessing, i had written to the doc phil show begging for help, i had written called to everyone i could think of, its weird how no one answered my cries for help! now after 5 years clean my daughter relapsed, heart broken is not the word for her and me, she had a career as a dental nurse someone had believed her, just one thing wrong they gave her permission to call in patients meds, yes she called them in for herself, she had fell and hurt herself and went to the doc, of course they dont know she is an addict so gave her narcotic pain pills, she thought she could be stonger than the pill, now she is faceing charges and prison 5 years she was clean 5 years!!!!! we need to have all medical records display "addict" when the ssn is pulles up it would save so many lives. i hope this young girl and all the young people doc phill helps know that are the chosen ones that are given a chance in beautiful rehabs , i could not afford a rehab center or help for her, i hope they take it and use it and be proud to get sober and the parents know how lucky they are! MY daughter was not one of the lucky ones, just out of interest i wonder how these families are chosen!
Replied By: nsemego on Aug 10, 2012, 1:53PM
I am a loyal viewer of the Dr. Phil show. On this particular episode the young lady unfortunately did not quite understand the purpose of Dr. Phil's questions in the beginning of the show and therefore had a hard time responding. I believe the following may be the reason, if only because it used to happen to me.

I think that some people who hate themselves often worry so much about where a conversation is ultimately going. They believe the other person with whom they are conversing may not like them, may want to shame them or get angry at them, etc. even if that is not the intent of the other person because, after all, the self-hater believes they deserve not to be liked. They walk around feeling as those they constantly have to apologize for themselves. When they make a mistake and are confronted, they panic.

A normal reaction for them may be to try to prove to another that although they know they are severly flawed, they are indeed worth something and worth fighting for. They want credit so badly because they can't give it to themselves.

Most people recognize this reaction as defensiveness, and may sometimes become agitated, frustrated, or angry at the self-hater. They see the defensiveness as being a smack in the face and a resistance of the other person's point of view. However, the self-hater may be oblivious to the other person feeling this way - after all, why should anyone care what they thought? They feel as though they have no value or credibility at all to begin with, and to add another person's hatred or dislike of them to their plate is so easy and almost unbearable.  

When facing someone who feels they are being defensive, the self-hater feels ashamed not only for who they are but also for not knowing how to communicate. The anger, agitation, or frustration that the self-hater encounters makes them feel as though the other person is looking for a specific response, at which point all will go back to normal. Self-haters often lack certain communication skills to begin with, and will panic when they can't come up with a response sufficient to complete the confrontation.  

While the self-hater may often totally understand and agree with the other viewpoint, they may feel as though the other person ultimately wants them to admit their total unworthiness, which would then leave them with no hope that one day they will indeed like themselves, and so will everyone else. That's what happens when you don't believe you're worthy of love and respect. One person's opinion or statement can ruin everything. When you believe everyone else is valued and is always right, you really don't leave yourself much room to figure out your own opinions and your own worth. It's not that you're unappreciative or stubborn - you simply see things through a different lens. Being able to take confrontation and criticism without completely falling apart mentally takes a great deal of work, especially maturity (which is hard if you are not used to being surrounded by mature people).
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