2012 Shows

(Original Air Date: 02/27/12) Robert says his mom, Kathy, calls him and his wife, Viv, 20 to 30 times a day, and if they don't answer, will leave verbally-abusive voicemails and then call their work, other relatives, and even the police, until she gets a response. Robert and Viv say Kathy’s behavior is ruining their month-long marriage. Is kicking Kathy out of their lives the newlyweds’ only option? Is Robert contributing to his mom's behavior? Kathy admits she's overprotective and has trouble letting go of her son, but says her voicemails are in response to the vile things Robert says to her. She says she doesn't understand why her only child "treats her like a dog." Can Dr. Phil help this family establish healthy boundaries? If your extended family is coming between you and your spouse, Dr. Phil has advice for keeping the peace.

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: annevisser on Sep 19, 2012, 5:06AM
Dear Dr. Phil,

The show about 'Crazy Kathy' (mother inlLaw mayhem) aired yesterday evening in the Netherlands. Both mother and son use a lot of swear words and he had enough of it. He warned his mother when she contunues to be this way, he would end it and she would be no longer welcome in their lifes.

You told him that no mather what, she is his mother and he should respect her. I couldn't believe you said that. Some parents don't deserve respect! Respect is a two way street. And if one or both parents don't have it for their child, the child shouldn't have it for them.
When you put it like that, you give parents the power to break their childeren, treat them in any way they possibly can and still demand that the child has to respect them.

I'm sorry to say, but you are way of with this. Her son drew a line for his mother whose behavier was awfull, so he and his wife could have a life. You made it clear that he wasn't alowed to do so.
This is excactly why childeren from problem homes have difficulties to continue with their own lifes. Let them be free and get loose from those who hurt them and continue to hurt them, all in the name of love. But you and I both know it hasn't anything to do with love. Many people are thought that pain is love.
Childeren are not suposed to love their parents, if they do you did it wright. Then it is a gift to be treasured. 

Kind regards,
Anne Visser     
Replied By: dcarpend on Aug 28, 2012, 3:02PM - In reply to mithoonam312
You seem to feel like the son bears the responsibility to cater to his mother's total dependence.  He does not.  That she has not bothered, over all these years, to find some sort of satisfying life outside of her role of being s/mother is not her son's responsibility.
Replied By: honeydo1234 on Aug 28, 2012, 2:06PM
This is sad, not trying to be funny but there may be a question of her having a case of mild (or early) stage of Alzheimer's,

Just a thought....
Replied By: mithoonam312 on Aug 28, 2012, 12:04PM
The mother feels insecure in her relationship with her son (on whom she totally depends) and wants to believe in her daughter-in-law who has not done anything to prove her respect for her. Their ways of dealing with her seems to deliberately move her away from them, so her only way out is to get their attention by making pathetic noises as she can't live without her son.. After all she has invested so much in her son almost whole of her 'self' and the son is too busy trying to defend nothing in his self -centered way. He's being transferred from mother to wife so his life's not at stake.
Replied By: namvet527 on Aug 28, 2012, 10:41AM
Dr Pill does NOT KNOW what it's like to have a HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE of a parent. My mom was an angel. My dad was the dad from hell. He beat my mom regularly and me. He finally murdered my mom shortly after I came home from the army.
Dr. Pill how can you respect a parent like my dad?
Replied By: namvet527 on Aug 28, 2012, 10:25AM
Mother in law from hell is lieing is lieing like HELL.
Replied By: laceyj on Aug 28, 2012, 9:12AM
There is a good resource for those who have family members who are suffering from BPD, and make life such a trial for them...a book called Stop Walking on Eggshells can be very enlightening and helpful. I am a therapist, and have suggested it for those of my clients who are dealing with these people in their lives.
Replied By: hamlet1957 on Aug 28, 2012, 1:51AM
grow up act yor age ...... he's not a two year old any more  , he's finally let go of your apron long time ago and finally found someone that loves him and treats him with respect!. you have lost your son for what you have been saying on the answering machine. [if i was your son i'd do exactly the same thing as he has] serves you right  for what's happenning to you.  dont feel sorry for you one bit stop living in the dream world!!!!
Replied By: dcarpend on Aug 27, 2012, 7:18PM - In reply to ringlord
I couldn't disagree more about your assertion that "contact should always be kept" between parent and child.  Would you advise a woman who had been raped by her father all her childhood that she needed to keep contact?  How about a man whose mother had beaten him black and blue on a regular basis? 

I'm married to a man who underwent years of psychotherapy to deal with the profound depression caused by growing up with a mother who just loved finding things to criticize and blame him for.  While he did eventually resume very limited contact with her, 8 years of no contact with his mother did wonderful things for his confidence and his mental state.

Blood does not constitute an obligation to continue to expose yourself to toxic people.
Replied By: darbster on Aug 27, 2012, 6:24PM - In reply to all4god
I agree 100%, I hope they resolve this mess before they have and expose children to this mess !! I grew up with this and it has been a lifetime of pain. A child doesn't understand or deserve to be brought up in a family this dysfunctional.
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