2012 Shows

Spray tans, fake teeth and hair extensions -- is it too much for a toddler? Wendy sparked a firestorm when she dressed her then 3-year-old daughter, Paisley, like the prostitute character from the movie Pretty Woman for a beauty pageant that aired on a popular reality television show. After the episode, Wendy says she was flooded with hate mail; many suggesting she should lose custody of her children. Wendy insists she had the best of intentions, but does she stand by her decision? Plus, see what happens when she faces her harshest critic, fellow pageant mom Susanna, who added fuel to the fire by calling Wendy out in the media. Then, Susanna is put in the hot seat and questioned about her 5-year-old daughter, Isabella, singing LMFAO’s hit song “Sexy and I Know It” and trash-talking Paisley on camera. How does Susanna handle her critics who say she coached Isabella to bash her competitor for media attention? Can Dr. Phil help bring an end to this ugly feud?

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: julietpeters on May 31, 2012, 9:01PM
The reason I watch and enjoy your show is because I enjoy my learning experience from you opinion.  I wish there was more on opinion then in explaining the sad situation which is overdone in my opinion.  But i fast forward through 90% of the show to get to the point.  

The reason I am writing is I disagree with your final opinion given at the end of this show.   A say this in the spirit of debate and challenge is a good thing, not a criticism or attack.  I just can't, however hard I try, find any strength in your opinion that there is some good that can come out of this for the child.  You said it can teach poise and being in front of the public.  You are wrong.  Harm is done because it teaches the wrong message.  When you teach the wrong messages no excuse is going to suffice other then Ok point taken but the end result is a weak argument.  The strong argument, the winning argument in my opinion is this:

The pleasure for the parent in these pageants is the winning.  | say that because I look at the faces of the child and mother when the child wins and loses.  Winning is the payoff.  It is the drug.  It is a drug rather than say a sport because the pleasure is in the adrenalin rush (of winning in this case) over say the enjoyment of winning a game of cricket where the enjoyment is the game and winning an oponent means a just deserve for your team efforts, training etc.  There is a huge difference, in my opinion.

Take drink for example.   Some drink are enjoyable along with food and good company.  Alcohol however is alittle different.  Introducing a child to the hit alcohol can  give at an early age could mean that child is more likely to get addicted to that hit.  The pathways are more vulnerable to change.  We know that.

Winning is no less a drug.  Secondly getting a feeling of elation from winning because you are more pretty than onother child is the wrong lesson to be teaching.  Teathing one lesson undoes every right message that child may get elsewhere.  Learning to deal with one's attractiveness is an important lesson to learn and is vital for one's personal development.   However the lesson to be learned is simply this.  Attractiveness doesn't define the person you are, it just compliments the person you are and is down on the list of one's attributes.  Its nice to be attractive and its nice to dress up and feel attractive as long as you are not exercising in your mind a destructive thought process like a feeling of power that is possible to feel if one has exercised the wrong brain channels and it is now automatic.  If you feel power over other women or men for any reason, being more beautiful being one, you are in a sociopathic illness.  You crave power.  A person with normal brain function doesn't.   I have never felt this power but I know and understand it as I have seen it in others.  How that illness happens isn't clear in my research.  But absence of the right brain exercises via the messages we learn from our parents is critically important.  One of those wrong messages and experiences is getting the hit that comes from winning by being more beautiful than another child.  Once learned and experienced it is much harder to undo, maybe even impossible.

So my conclusion on this teaching of yours is different from your conclusion.  Pageants should be banned to protect children and allow their brain function to grow so the do not feel tempted to get a hit from a feeling of power or winning.  If they never get the hit they won't learn to enoy it.  Once the brain is fully formed, they can make choices with the full knowledge or the risks associated with addicted type experiences.  If they choose a sport they will want to compete with others that share the spirt of enjoyment of the sport.  If they model, then they enjoy the work where they show clothes to their best advantage. 

The people who I have known in life that win too much at an early age develop problems.  Because it becomes important.  I remember I used to be at the bottom of the class and didn't really mind.  I wasn't interested in many subjects but excelled if I did enjoy the subject.  But when this person failed an exam, or got less then 80%, he couldn't handle it.  It was incredible to witness.   I have said in advice to others that has helped them, that learning to fail is an important lesson.   Because you learn that it doesn't define you.  Just a valuable lesson to help you learn where you need to concentrate.   You learn far more from failure.  Success really doesn't teach you anything.  It like the end of the journey.  The fun is getting there.  So get excited about failure, you are about to change your direction. 

My point being here I disagree with what you said because it was the wrong learning.  No a child must not  experience the feeling of power/adrenalin rush from winning until the brain has developed properly to properly understand what is happening.  Secondly, it is the wrong learning that a child needs poise or be attractive.  A child already has poise and I can't even get my head around being attractive in relation to children.  A see a beautiful soul that can so easily be destroyed and disconnected.  Your advice on this rare occasion was wrong.  Pageants can do harm.  A lot of harm.  I would have given my opinion as just that and that they should be banned.  A child cannot make a choice and parents are making a choice that is wrong and could cause harm to their child.  Because they don't have the knowledge required to make a proper choice.  Unfortunatley your advice would give parents of child pageants the confidence that there is no harm in this.  Dressing up at home for fun is OK of course,  Not competing.  Not winning.  Not power because one is more beautiful then another child.  All destructive.  All abuse to the development of a health child.  I write this because I care and because nothing I can think of excuses what your advice was.

Replied By: signoritagump on Feb 21, 2012, 7:26PM
I love your show - I DVR every episode and watch while I workout - for some reason you motivate me to work hard at what I need to do.  However, I started watching the episode "What were they thinking" about the pageant mom who dressed her daughter up like Julia Roberts and I just couldn't watch it.  Primarily because you brought out Susanna who I could have sworn to be the Mom from a previous episode regarding a Mother & Daughter competing in beauty pageants.  This was a woman that I could not believe would do such a thing to her own daughter.   I turned it off because she appeared to be the voice standing up for the child dressed like Julia Roberts.  I don't get it.  Why would she be on your show twice?  I thought there would have been mention of her previous appearance and I did watch a few minutes but nothing, then I googled it and saw that it was in fact the same woman, I am still scratching my head.  Has she changed her standards in life?  She is not a shining example.  Then when I read other posts it sounded like the episode was a great free for all.  I still love what you stand for Dr. Phil and I will continue to watch but I felt the need to comment on this one.  Have a great show!
Replied By: jaydubya on Feb 20, 2012, 1:34PM
I am shocked that you would have Susanna on another show at all, but especially with her trying to be a "voice of reason".  I am also insulted that no one mentioned her prior appearance on the show.  I feel that is an insult to the intelligence of your viewers!  This woman has already shown herself to exploit her older daughter on YOUR show and you bring her back to JUDGE someone else and don't even mention her prior appearance?!?!?!   I find that to be behavior beneath the level of what we should expect from your show!!!  She should not be given another second of airtime, and furthermore your viewers deserve an apology for wasting another hour on her!!!!
Replied By: klkdec31 on Feb 7, 2012, 9:56PM
I never seen the first episode which aired however I did watch this.  Before this I was completley oblivious to the pageant world and never really paid any mind to it.  I live in Canada and its not anywhere near as big here as it is in the US and if so its defenitly not publicizied the same.  Since the show I decided (tonight actually) to watch an episode of Toddlers and Tiaras on the TLC network.  I was completley appauled.  The way the parents parade their children around as if they are little robots, or even sex objects is sickening.  I couldnt imagine doing this to my daughter even though Im sure she would be the perfect candidate.  SHe loves to dress up and behave like a princess.... however i trult believe this pageant life would take the fun out of the whole experience of playing as a child.  Anyways....  what lead me to post was the way i watched some of these little girls dancing around .... in the dressed up catagory ( costume) there was a little girl dressed in booty shorts and a bikini top and knee top sneakers as a police officer shaking her stuff on a power wheels police car.... It made me sad for her.  After watching this I didnt understand what the real issue was here.  The mom that dressed her daughter up as Julia Roberts from pretty woman to me did much less then this little girls mom.  The three year old "hooker" had no idea what she was wearing or doing ... and really all she did was walk and smile ! The little girl i was watching this eveing was 8 years old and acting as if she belonged on a strippers pole.  I feel terrible saying that i really do but it makes me wonder what these mothers are setting these little girls up for.  My goodness get to church and say a prayer.  And teach your daughter how to belong like a lady afterall isnt this what these parents claim this pagentry is all about ?
Replied By: ambers_mommy on Feb 6, 2012, 9:07AM - In reply to wynston
The woman from the October show is described on this website as 37 years old, also named Susanna (spelled the same). She also has the same droopy eye...it certainly appears to be her.
Replied By: manewmana on Feb 5, 2012, 10:50AM - In reply to pattya634
Totally agree. It was a really hard show to watch because of both guests speaking at once through the whole show.
Replied By: pattya634 on Feb 5, 2012, 4:30AM - In reply to synchronicity
This is the first time I have ever responded to a tv show. I usually love the Dr. Phil show, but this one was trash.  Suzanna should never have been allowed on the second time. She was obnoxious the first time she was on Dr.Phil, and to give her another show with a younger daughter - Dr. Phil, what were you thinking? You  allowed yelling, talking over one another, rudeness to one another. PLEASE  do not disappoint your audience again with this type of tabloid trash. You are better than that.
Replied By: allimojo on Feb 4, 2012, 9:45AM
It seems as it Wendy is unfairly being made a scapegoat for what child pagents represent. I do not think the outfits she placed her daughter in are outside of the realm of what is very typical in these pagents. I mean these babies are getting spray tans for heaven's sake! 

These outfits are not about the girls - they are for adults who think they are cute or funny and therefore increase the likelihood that their daughters will be selected to win.

The unfortunate thing is, as Dr. Phil indicated during the show, that the children involved in these pagents are exploited by pedophiles and other deviants who look at pictures of these young children and use them in very deviant ways - why put your children in these risky situations?

It seems like the feud between these two moms is just an opportunity for them to get more publicity for themselves and their daughters, unfortunately, are caught in the middle of their antics.
Replied By: readandreply on Feb 3, 2012, 7:20AM
it is such an ego boost for them to parade them around as their "creations"! 

paisley was adorable and natural.  her laugh was so cute and she was just a little girl. 

the other little girl - what is the mother thinking to dress her up like that for this appearance?!  it shows that paisley's mother knows when it is time to let her little girl be a little girl - not so much the other one (especially after seeing footage from her previous appearance on the show with her other daughter!). 
Replied By: lynemarie on Feb 3, 2012, 6:06AM - In reply to realtor_tracey
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