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2012 Shows

 
(Original Air Date: 01/12/12) When 42-year-old Terri and her 18-month-old son were allegedly held captive and abused by her live-in boyfriend, Troy, an unlikely hero came to their rescue: Facebook. Terri says that after five days of being locked in a bedroom, beaten and sexually abused, she seized a moment of opportunity, hid in the closet and logged on to the popular social networking site. There, she posted the message: "Hello… is anyone out there? I am having a serious problem and me and [my son] will be dead by morning". Someone called the authorities, and Terri and her son were rescued. Troy is now in jail and facing 15 criminal charges. What do Troy’s sister and parents have to say about their son and Terri? Do they believe Terri's claims?

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: garywalks on Jul 25, 2012, 11:39AM
Interesting to see how the list of signs used to decide if someone is being abused will allow you to
 tell if .... _your daughter_ is the victim of abuse. Right, because it is just women that are victims of abuse.  


    Moreover, while the  family's ( of Troy) claims  were deemed partial, the testimony of the lady who declared hereself to be a good friend of the victim is considered to be 'reliable'. Seriously? Maybe Dr. Phil should refresh his often-mentioned forensic background about how eyewitness testimony is considered unreliable. Dr. Phil asked no serious questions about this friend's (of Terri) claims: "she was disheveled"  : well....yes, by Terri's own testimony they are both drunks and had gone on a binge. Doesn't this offer a possible explanation for Terri   being  disheveled? Do you seriously believe this lady, who describes herself as a good friend is any more reliable
 than the claims of Troy's family?  And,actually, the parents admitted Troy had part and responsibility in the situation; I did not hear Terri's friends saying anything similar about Terri.


    All of this, together with the emphasis on domestic violence--which, of course, really means violence against women, really makes me skeptical about Phil' being impartial. Don't get me wrong, I , do, of course, disapprove of acting abusively in any way, including using violence. But, why the special focus on domestic violence ? Why is it worse than so many other forms of abuse? I suspect because of the anti-male bias.
 
Replied By: witchzst on Jul 24, 2012, 10:26PM
I totally believe Terri and I am shocked that Dr.Phil would even let the parents and sister come on the show to abuse this woman some more. I too left an abusive relationship so I understand some of her thinking and behavior - I wanted to ask what that womens problem was to answer a text that says her son is hitting this gal and she texts back the next day asking if everything is alright. And the way they tried to minimize his past arrests and "out of control" behavior in those incidents was ridiculous. If she is such a liar and bad person just making up stuff about him then why is he with her? And why were they talking to her at all ? I think that she does have some problems that she needs to address BUT do NOT think they warrant her being abused by their son like the parents were trying to suggest. I get the part where she would be afraid to leave for all sorts of reasons and so she would lie about what had happened afterwards. I would tell myself that I must have done something to deserve his outburst or that I deserved it just cause I was still there with him. And it is soooo embarrassing to tell someone when you want to leave and even more embarrassing when you cant do it because you are not financially independent. Shelters are not easy to get into and usually have a long waiting list and most times you need to go right now not wait. So it is very important that family members help other family members when and if they are in a abusive relationship. Terri needs to stay strong utilize the help she does get from DrPhil and or any counselors, and do whatever she has to do to stay away from him. Hopefully he will be in jail for a while so that will help. Believe in yourself you deserve a safe happy life!!
 
Replied By: maryannasaro on Jul 24, 2012, 6:59PM
The mother of the Beauty Queen addicted to drugs is an actress.  She pretended to cry throughout the show but unable to even form a single tear.  I got the impression that she only cared about appearances more than Jennifer's well being.  It truly bothered me because Dr. PHil didn't call her on it.

 
Replied By: boldmother on Jul 24, 2012, 4:31PM
I feel bad for for this woman.

I was in such a relationship 25 yearrs ago.

The parents and sister will always take up for their son and brother.  The only thing that can be done to make things better is she must get a divorce and get away from this man.  He will never change.



Don't expect to get any cooperation from his family.  They are only doing what they feel is right (which it is NOT) and that is protecting their family at all cost. Even her life.

They never gave her a chance as to why she could have been wrong about dates o texts...they never even considered that her brain was addled.  So don't look to them for help.  Just save yourself and your son and remove yourself from this toxic environment.

You can be happy one day but it will never will be with this family. Give yourself and you son this gift and leave.  I am so sorry. I wish I could help.

Barbara

boldmother



 
Replied By: dixie88 on Jul 24, 2012, 3:37PM - In reply to wiccanangel
This happened to me. I didn't have kids but my ex husband began beating me in the 7th year of our marriage. I was doing well, great job, got along with his sisters/brother & mother. He couldn't hold onto a job. His family members couldn't stand him.


He would punch me in the stomach (never in the face) so the bruises were hidden by my clothes. He did punch me in the jaw once. I went to the dentist a few weeks later, as it was so hard to chew. The dentist took x-rays & came in, said "who did this to you!?" He showed me the x-ray, I had a fractured jaw. He wanted to call the police but my husband had always told me he'd shoot me if I ever called the cops. He had a shotgun, a pistol & a .22 rifle. He would point the shotgun at my head. He wrapped a lamp cord around my neck & I woke up to find him laughing at me, as I struggled to get out of the cord-wrap.

I left him MANY times. I went to a motel in one small town where we lived when I was a teacher. He found me (my car was very distinctive), knocked the door down & the motel owner threw ME out, saying "go home and make nice with hubby."  I went to church friends' homes & he found me, beat on the door, threatening to kill us all. So I'd go with him, fearing he'd really do that.

Once, he yelled the N*** word at a man for taking  his parking place. I told him he was an idiot & got out of the car. He chased me into a McDonald's & into another building. People yelled that they were going to call the cops. He sped out of the parking lot b4 the police arrived. Based on what I told them & witnesses' reports, the cops told me my husband was going to kill me if I didn't get away from him. But I was trapped!

Finally, his sister (a very rich woman) saw bruises on my belly. I had a t-shirt on over my bathing suit. she said "You're too slim to hide behind that!" and tried to pull off the t-shirt. She was Furiious he did that. So she arranged to have him sent overseas (she owned a fancy hotel) to "work" while she got me money & arranged to help me go stay with friends & relatives far away.

But he figured it out & came hunting for me, found me and would NOT stop until I FINALLY got police protection. The police helped me find safe places to live, moving from one to another for 6 months while the divorce became final.


Even then, he came back 17 years after the divorce was final, and began stalking me again.


I was not a drinker. I never used drugs. I DID fight back sometimes when he was hitting me, I'd smack him in the face & run away. The DA's office paid for me to attend self-defense lessons. But that won't help me if he uses a gun on me. I am terrified of this guy. He inherited money when his mother & sister died. So he can hire expensive attorneys. He got a protective order thrown out of court this way.


My 2nd husband is Amazing. We have now been married 27 years. I couldn't ask for a better guy, there are good ones out there!
 
Replied By: momoftwinchix on Jul 24, 2012, 2:51PM
I truly think the family is covering for their son/brother!  The family is angry and in DENIAL!  The wife does need help also....AA and Esteem Building Classes.  Her CRAZY husband just beats her down emotionally, mentally, and physically...typical abusive cycle!  I hope Terri gets the help and strength she needs to survive solo with strength and diginity!
 
Replied By: wiccanangel on Jul 24, 2012, 1:49PM - In reply to strine
Terri is neither a drama queen nor a Narcissus. A Narcisstic personality is a mental illness in which one has a super ego or god like personality. They believe they are the end all n be all of the universe and everything revolves around them.  Terri is a survivor of an abusive relationship and those who have made negative replies most likely have either never experienced, either themselves or someone they know, an abusive relationship.  I do believe that Terri is telling the truth due to the fact that her boyfriend did in fact plead guilty on many of the charges. Even before it was revealed that he did plead guilty, I believed her.

I have been in abusive relationships and for those who haven't experienced what Terri has experience has no right to bash her or accuse her of lying. Even when children are involved it is a very horrific n complicated situation. Your damned if you try to leave and your damn if you stay. You do the best you can to survive. It becomes an issue of self preservation. Your are terrified to leave because you don't know what your husband/wife/boyfriend/ girlfriend are going to do. It is sometimes safer to stay in the relationship while your planning your escape.  The abuser has slowly stripped every bit of one's self-esteem and self-confidence and has turned the abused person into someone who is too scared and confused to just get up and leave. Terri went throught hell with her boyfriend and her alcoholism was her way of dealing with the pain, all be it not the best solution. I'm proud of her for being able to reach out and ask for help from Dr. Phil. It shows me that she is a good mother that needs some help and is now getting the help she needs. 

 
Replied By: heartfeltsoul on Jul 24, 2012, 1:18PM
He plead guilty....so they were in denial and they should be ashamed for attacking the victim instead of holding there son accountable and still loving him . I would leave the first time , I would do this I would never ect. You have no idea the philological mind set of an abuse victim and even years later still do not totally understand why I did allow a man to treat me as no animal should even be treated ,why I did not call the police as much as I should or why I lied to protect him so please do not begin to think you can know nor understand another's pain or the mind set they were in while being abused ...
 
Replied By: heartfeltsoul on Jul 24, 2012, 1:10PM
I understand loving your child no matter what. I understand standing beside them even when they are criminal with a criminally violent record but to be so blatantly blind to your sons character that past actions ,undeniable truth that he is a criminal and when you blame others no matter what the evidence says ,bail them out and blindly Liston to that person with out looking at it as a whole you are giving them the ability to not take responsibility for there acts,the pain and terror there acts have created for there victims,and if you stoop as low as to attack the victim because the one you are defending is that bad you have no other defense  then to dwell with the scum you are protecting then you do understand you are doing wrong.There is protecting your loved ones and blindly defending there shameful acts and victimizing there victims in the process . you choose to not confront there horrible acts and instead of loving them but holding them accountable for them...
 
Replied By: schizophrenic on Jul 24, 2012, 9:41AM
It is the same old thing, just thousands of years later.  Women are still seen and portrayed by abusive men as being liars.  The dysfunctional family that raised him to be an abuser, defend him in attempts to defend their own behavior as to how they raised a woman beater.

I thank God she had the presense of mind and the access to a computer to call out for help.  Let's just say for argument sake.......she is lying.  Then she truely is crying out for help in another area of her life.  I believe in God and the teachings of Christ Jesus.  People these days, especially women by having boyfriends and sleeping with them in a string of monogamous relationships.  They believe serial monogamy is respectable, but it is not.  It is just as dangerous and being a prostitute on the street. 

Either this woman's soul is crying out for help because of her un-Godly life, or he truly did abuse her (which is a symptom of a woman not fearing the Lord and his word).  Everybody has different threasholds.  Some can tolerate on a scale from 1 to 10 for abuse only a 1.  Verbal abuse and intimidation and will call the police. Unfortanatly, more women have higher tolerances and wait until it is too late to call for help. 

I am proud of her for calling for help and telling the truth that she was being abused by her boyfriend.  A true and godly boyfriend courts a lady, does not spend time alone with her at his house. He does not have sex with her outside of marriage and he does not raise his voice except in praise to the Lord.  She was being abused, emotionally, physically, spiritually by this man because he is not her husband and he had her alone in a house with him against her will or better judgement.  I am sure she has low self-esteem and chose the wrong man for her.  I applaud her seeking help for her issues as well as his disobedience to a higher law than the courts.  God is love and law. 

It is not popular these days to preace the gospel, but preach it I will. People are behaving like heathens.  I see it in the movies influencing women to believe there is a magic number of dates you have to wait before going to bed with a man.  I have heard 3 and 5.  You don't even know anything about a person after 3 to 5 dates and yet most women will do the most intimate thing you can do with a man without knowing him.  Women need to be educated on the Bible and Word of God concerning their value and worth.  They need less self and more Christ-esteem in their lives.  The goodness of God leads us to repentance.  Both of these people have issues, but it is the man's responsibility to be the leader and not take advantage of a woman with low self or low Christ-esteem.  She had every right, and I believe she was right in reaching out for help. 
 
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