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on Jun 6, 2012, 4:09PM
Sheila seems to be a single mom who was trying to raise 3 kids. The youngest is the problem and the poison of the group. She whines and cries about how abusive her mom was but look at her. She admitted she went to the house, destroyed her moms hutch breaking glass, having road rage and screaming and yelling all the time. Mom said she beat her when she was younger and served time. I think Shirley has used that over and over and over to excuse her bad behavior. I think her bad behavior might have been the link that destroyed the whole family. She didn't like her older sister cause the sister watched her. She even threw a huge fit over her Christmas gift. Sheila served time for what she did to Shirley but we have never heard what was going on with Shirley way before that.
on Jun 6, 2012, 3:58PM
I feel for the girls. I have a mother who would always tell me I should be like my sister, who graduated from high school, got married then had a child. She would tell she has the perfect marriage, child, husband, and job. I have been married several times. I got married when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant, and it ended in divorce. She would tell me I was a disapointment to her. She would hit me with anything that she could get her hands on like a horse whip, wooden spoon, belt, shoe. She took my children from me by telling the court that I was an unfit parent because I would go out with my friends when my children were with their father.The final straw was when she told me that she wished that I had never been born or I had died at birth. She has turned my daughter against me, I haven't talk to my daughter in 3 years. My daughter got married and I was told not to come and if I did I would be arrested. I talk to my son all the time and he says that he loves me. She won't let me talk to my father. If she finds out that he has talked to me he pays dearly. I have told her the day she dies I will celebrate. I will NOT shed a tear for her. She has effected my life to this day it's hard for me to trust anyone. I have tried to commit suicide because of what she has done to me. I have a wonderful fiance' who treats me like gold, but I can't whole heartedly trust him. He's always telling me to let the past be the past, but it's hard.
Rivalry and the family
on Jun 6, 2012, 3:32PM
I watch your show just about everyday. In my opion Dr. Phil, you are a very smart man, and always look at all sides, so also very fair. This show today was so close but yet so far the way my family is. Yes, my mother is the core of all my disfunctional so called family.My mother took all the fun outta disfunctional. But it goes way beyond that. I'm 46 years old and she still has a grip on me by holding my chrildren hostage. I have 3 grown chrildren and my miracal daughter that's 12 yrs old. I will be the 1st one to say that i'm in no ways perfect. And my past is very bad. This so called mom stole my 1st 3 chrildren programed them with flaming lies and onimas truths. My 3 grown chrildren and me have a troubled relationship. Now she's doing the same thing to my 12 yr old. This time is differant tho, I'm in my lil ones life, well as much as i can be, seeing that my parents at the moment have soul custody of her. But if my 12 yr old was a boy it would be differant. My mom favors boys and always have. I have a brother and a son.. I was supposed to get my daughter back over 3 years ago, after a 90 day in house treatment program. I went there because i knew i had so much anger in me , that i did need help. So I went to help me which should have then helped some of my family at least. But NO, it 's not any better on their part, I have to use coping skills on a daily basis. Thank goodness I have learned. I have the most negative mom in the world, she's also rasist, always right,loves to make up remarks like turning words around to start a fight or keep 1 going. My 26 yr old son and his 26ish friend and my 16 yr old neice then my 12 yr old and my dad, also my 5 yr old g-son live in that house. It's no home. My son and his friend smoke pot , drink a lot, and maybe more inside that house. My mom knows it and allows this to be. Boy's can walk on water. I myself deal with all the emtional, verbal, and mental abuse from this woman since i can remember till today and a lot more todays and tomorrows to come. I have but less then a handfull of good memories growing up. But oh sooo many bad ones. if you only knew the 1/2 of my family issues it make for a great show. But i know my mother would not be so brave as this mother was to come on your show. I feel she really knows the differance between right and wrong, just doesn't care cause she thrives on conflict. She also says she hates you. I believe she does because you see right threw people, and she'd be so busted. All I have left is to get my 12 yr old out of that house, which is so hard when the money just isn't there. My poor baby is a confused lil girl. Does bad at school. My mother has also changed her school 3 or 4 times in 3 yrs. I've written you once Dr. Phil, try to find that plz. My family needs your help so very bad and i'm begging for this being the"bad one" in this family. I have no problem letting my issues past and present be known.. The pain that's in your head and heart never goes away. I am smarter and wiser now, on Dec.11th it will b 4 yrs clean. Big mile stone for one thats been messed up most her 46 yrs. Just sayin my mother is one of the most terriable abusive mothers out there. All my chrildren and sibling have been harmed in some way. For myself I have no choice cause i don't have my daughter yet. HELP MY FAMILY PLZ. DR. PHIL
on Jun 6, 2012, 3:30PM
Dr. Phil, I know that this is an older show but felt I had to comment. I was raised by a mother ( really child ) along with 4 other siblings. My mother had Narcissistic personality diorder. I found the papers after she died in 2000. I have to say it was a relief when she died! She tormented all 5 of her children and my father who commited suicide in 1970 and her boyfriend! She sent me off to a neighbor who abused me and then MANY years later sent her 4 yr. old grand daughter off to a male neighbors! She saw NOTHING about this! She made SO much trouble between all of my siblyns and myself. She could not stand when she was not the center of attention! I feel for these girls! Thankfully I have done better than when I was younger! I have been able to cope much better in the last 5 yrs. Another thing I must say it was like being the parent and after many years I was forced to cut her out of my life although I told her what the rules would be. She could NOT not try to pit us against each other. It was very sad. I do hope those girls can get past this. Antoinette
over and over
on Jun 6, 2012, 2:59PM
I am going through a very similar situation and have been over and over for years.
I have three daughters, but listen to their ages: 40, 38 and 28!
The two older daughters started their bickering when they were teenagers and haven't stop yet.
They both are married and have families, but now, alas, they are not talking and they've told us that there children can never be over at our house together. these little first cousins cannot see each other until the two girls reconcile! But they are so stubborn, really very alike with their stubborness and finger pointing that i don't see where they will ever talk again. They've asked me to step in for them and talk to the other to tell the other one what she did wrong. They say i won't stand up for them. i feel its something they need to work on themselves now that they are clearly much older. But nope, they keep asking. its not my fight!! I am supposed to tell one how dare she miss an event for another child?? Their father and i just are at a loss as to what we more we can do for them. These girls were brought up the same, never abused and received private educations, trips, family time together. i don't get it. they are so selfish.
Moms can play the part
on Jun 6, 2012, 2:45PM
I am a survivor, and let me tell you, abusive Mothers can play the part! They are master manipulators. Mine engaged in massive abuse of EVERY kind, along with her then boyfriend. The things she and he did are
totally unbelievable. I've heard things from some relatives about how she has said I am mentally unstable, so as to cover up what she and he did . She has successfully seperated all step brothers and sisters, including myself from one another! By telling lies and cover up stories, she has successfully caused all siblings and step siblings to cut all ties from one another. I have figured out that she did this to stop stories from being compared. Best thing for me was to cut all contact from the mother! And yes I carry anger and hatred for her, but I am comfortable with myself! Master manipulator is what these mothers are.
on Jun 6, 2012, 2:31PM
This was a very sad episode. It brought back some very old, painful memories. I think that more exposure to mothers who are absent from the child's life are needed.
This mother reminded me of my own mother who was narcissistic and in fact an expert model for that personality type. I feel sorry for the sisters- all of them because I know from living it that the pain never goes away.
A mother who is more concerned with a cruise than the food and rent for her children is not a mother at all. Even when she got back home, her subsequent behavior showed that all she was ever concerned about was being right.
My mother always believed that she deserved a parade being led by McNamara's Band wherever she went and whenever it did not happen, we all paid for it. She constantly caused hurt and pain between the siblings and actually enjoyed the fights that would follow. I suppose it was her idea of entertainment.
I grew up hearing that I was not wanted, a mistake if you will, the child who ruined her figure and apparently cried for no reason. She put me outside in the winter in a baby carriage for the entire day and told me stories of how she enjoyed watching the wind blow my baby carraige back and forth all day. I had pneumonia 5 times before 1st grade.
I have one sister who is like her in many ways, 2 brothers who are totally detached from all emotion and then there is me, who at the age of 11 became the mother of my siblings and responsible for their well-being, food and clothing. I lost my childhood because of being the oldest.
My mother is gone now and I do not miss her. Maybe I am supposed to but I don't. I never wished her any harm and she actually died in my arms screaming and cursing at me- blaming me for the pain she was enduring. Once she died, I knew that the torment would stop- and I also knew that the painful memories would never go away. At least I no longer have to hear her tell me to just get over it anymore.
I have no memory of ever having lunch with my mother. Never went to a show with her, never went shopping with her, never got a recipe from her. She was void of any emotion other than anger. She taught me exactly who I never wanted to be. She taught me that her legacy must stop with her because to be like her was an embarassment.
on Jun 6, 2012, 2:05PM
It was painful to watch the show today but of the shear lack of respect Macherie?? had for her mother. I understand what happened while she was younger was traumatic but I also understand that this was not her first time dealing with these emotions and supposedly forgiving her mother. She made her mother cry on TV with a smile. She has kids and these types of actions may come back to haunt her later.
Talk about unforgivable.. Have we ever addressed what she did to drive her mother to the point of wanting to kill her? She may actually be the troublemaker in this family and most heartless of them all.
a mothers saddness
on Jun 6, 2012, 2:04PM
I understand this mothers pain.. I have 3 children 2 daughters and 1 son.. I did a good job raising them, I wasn't going to repeat the way I was raised, so I thought. I dropped the ball at a age they needed me most.
Of course they need us at all ages, but I'm talking early teens.. There was a time I didn't allow anyone or anything to interfere in our life.. I got into a bad relationship, and I couldn't face myself in the mirror. I did get out of the relationship... asked for forgiveness for a very long time.. they would tell me I didn't need to apologize. We were so close at one time, I never pictured my life without them. Now, they are all grown, in lives of their own, Like these 3 sisters.. and I rarlely ever see them, except my son.. I see him because we attend the same church.. my youngest daughter, acts like she hates me and it hurts. I could feel this mothers pain, saying she knows they will never forgive her, because I have been living this pain for such a long time. I hope she gets the help she needs and that her daughters will fully forgive her and that they will develop a better relationship. It has taken me years to forgive myself. I think that is just as painful as one .. not forgiving you, if not more.
on Jun 6, 2012, 1:43PM
Dr. Phil, Thank you for this teachable moment. I have always wondered why i am not close to my mother. Today's show answered my inner questions! I have told my mother several times how my uncle (his brother) molested me when i was a child (for years) and she is always denying it and says that i am just making it up. I don't talk to this uncle to this day. Last year it bothered me all my life and caused alot of insecurities in my life!
Again thank you for today's program. It was an AHA moment for me!
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