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on Feb 5, 2012, 11:49AM
Dr Phil had a show about the double trouble 16 year old boys. He brought out something that I really want to understand more about. He said our brains are not fully developed until the age of 25. So the teenagers don't see the consequences of their actions and maybe some other thought provoking points I can't filter through at this moment. I would like for Dr. Phil to expand more about the adelecents who might think they have all the answers. I have a 13 year old and a 19 year old. Both girls. I feel my husband and I have been doing well so far with our parenting skills. I credit the Dr. Phil show mostly. I hope Dr. Phil will explain more about the brain and its developmental growth in young people.
on Feb 1, 2012, 10:38PM
I am not going to claim that I am hanging out with a good crowd of people, but I will say I do not let them influence my decisions.I do not have sex, use drugs or do any other illegal activity. It helps that I was moved to a online school in my last year of junior high, and now though I am in high school, there is no type of peer pressure. There is also no bullying because the teachers are all online as well as the students and we have no way of discussing things without the whole class, including our teachers seeing it. When a teacher notices bullying in my particular school the parents are called, and there is a serious risk of the police being called to the child's house deprending on what is said. However, because of my expierence in public schools though I am told I am a beautiful girl and got many guys flirting with me, yes my self esteem is shot. I kind of benefit from this because no matter what I am trying to impress God, because it seams he is the only one who is not so judgemental of me. So, I stay away from drinking, drug use, ect. I even feel that my parents are never there for me, but because of the bullying and having to get stronger, I still avoid getting into the wrong mix. Now, yes a few of my friends need to take me as a role model, but regardless I am a leader not a follower.
I kind of agree
on Feb 1, 2012, 10:29PM -
In reply to vicky08
I think that it should not be illegal for drug use, as all the people who are using drugs are only hurting themselves, but they should be forced to get help. There are better Rec activites than to waste away your liver. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people do it to just fit in, and because it is a fad that all young people go through. I think a teenage girl or guy should be able to chose their sex life, if and only if they can past the test of being a parent to possibly a baby simulater. We got to remember it is hard to live in this economy, and we must still work and attend school even if we have babies that we can not handle. So, I think choices should be made very wisely.
on Jan 23, 2012, 5:46PM
I have never felt a pressure to have sex, and when I have had sex I felt no judgement. I believe educating young people and allowing them to make informed, safe choices, whether it be to have sex or not, is the best course of action. Open-mindedness would help greatly with the guilt and embarrassment some people feel with sex.
I'm in two minds about drugs. I understand there are many negative consequences when it overtakes one's life, but to be honest, the majority of my friends have tried stronger drugs and drink regularly - and are very successful in their education (as well as stable mentally). This sounds contradictory, but where I live there is a strong drinking culture and it is not something only low-grade students or people with issues do, it is simply a recreational activity, if you may. Some people know how to handle their drugs, others do not: that is where the danger lies.
on Dec 22, 2011, 5:31PM -
In reply to scgirl626
thanks for sharing! im glad your life is getting back to "normal" and you're making the best life you can for your family!
on Dec 22, 2011, 5:00PM
Being a teenager is hard. I am an old teen, but I am very mature for my age. My boyfriend and I started having sex three months into our relationship, and we starting fighting more often after we had started having sex. We don't know if that's what triggered it or not? For a while, we decided to stop and see if our fighting got better, but in my mind, it created more issues because I didn't feel as close to him. I don't like anything that has to do with drugs (weed included) because I have many people in my life that I have trusted and betrayed me for weed. My boyfriend has always been curious about trying it, but I get really upset about it when it's brought up. He agreed he wouldn't because he doesn't want to hurt me and respects me enough but it bugs me that he's curious about it in the first place. But all in all, we do have a great relationship. I love him and we are going to get married one day. Any thoughts?
on Dec 13, 2011, 1:25PM
Love sucks, and being pressured into many things is hard to say no. I have been peer'ed pressured my whole life, into doing drugs and having sex. They both worked i thought doing that stuff would make me stand out make me cool and make me feel better about myslef. i was wrong, i felt down right crummy, and i regret what i have down and would take it back if i could
I agree but...
on Dec 12, 2011, 12:48PM -
In reply to cindersoul
I agree with you high school is absolutly crazy! But the thing is when I got out it was much worse. All the drama and struggle in high school may seem to much but it teaches life lessons. For example, you can't trust everyone, people use others to get what they want, and money doesn't grow on trees. If you put blinders on throughtout school and only focus on your studies your still missing out on a huge part of the life lesson that is high school. Working in all the drama! Once you begin working somewhere you will find many people act the same way now as they did back then, rumors, and drama drama DRAMA. I think high school is a huge HUGE mess but it is a mix of hormons from every direction. It is a stress zone! The thing is once you graduate you only learn to cope with it, not fix it. It seems trully unfixable.
As far as the constant hours of studies, I feel it's a simple preporation. College is much more work and having a job is even more the title "Work". There's is alot of pressure on todays teens to make something of themselves because we are the future. The next geration to change and make the attempt to put out mark on this world. Change it for the good of everyone. I feel this gives even more reasoning to the pressure on the high school students. I believe in karma and feel all the bullies and mean people will have there bad day when they find that smart kid they were picking on is now writing their pay checks.
Going from teen to mom at 17
on Dec 12, 2011, 12:37PM
I would like to take a moment to get my thoughts and experiances out maybe to encourage others to not make the same mistakes almost every teen is these days, including myself. I am now 20 years old and my daughter Haven is now 2. My story kinda begins when my mom and step dad got devorced. They were together just short of 10 years and we found out he was cheating. My half sister and brother were devistated because of corse it was there father and we were lead to believe everything was fine. However, my sister and I found out the truth all on our own. My real dad and I were not on good terms at the time because he was mad at me for getting my belly button pierced. He told me to change my last name because if I got it done I was not his. Being 16 I went and got it done just out of spite and I felt he was wrong for being so judgemental. Our falling out on top of my mother and step dad seperating was just the beginning steps for me giving up on all the dreams I had.
When my mom found out my step dad was cheating the "Ladies" of the family went on an all girl trip to myrtle beach. This included my mother, grandmother (Nan), my aunt, my cuzin, her grandmother, and myself. While we were at the beach my mom met a guy she already knew and I 100% approved, plus I had this huge crush on his son Trip! Mom and her new found love took off and I was so happy for her but now things started to really change! I got my first job at plato's closet at this time and was kinda wondering where to go. Mom moved in with her new boyfriend and my dad and I were still not talking so I moved in with my couzin and began taking care of myself. I gave my uncle money to take me to school, work, and anywhere I needed to go. I also took care of my own food and clothes. At the age of 16 I felt alone and asking myself where everything fell apart. Then I wouldn't admit it but today I know I was looking for the structure I once had when mom didn't become crazy about partying and her new love life, and my dad put me and my feelings first. I was blaming them, but myself to. I finally started staying with my mom and her boyfriend which was 35 mins from my school. I was late almost everyday and by my senior year ready to give up! I decided to graduate early because I had the credits and was ready to get back out in life alone. I didn't need anybody! That's is what I thought but boy was I wrong.
Remember I said I met moms boyfriends son and fell head over hills right? Well, when I got to staying with mom again, he went to jail. Thank God he was innocent! His charges were droped after the longest 28 days of my life! I talked to him every night until he got home, then we met again for the first time since the beach. His friends were bad innfluences and I would party with them. This included drugs and alcohol and my mom was so caught up in what she was doing that she didn't realise what I had been up to. Trip and I had sex. She found out and freaked. She tried to force me and my dad to regain our relationship just so she could get me out, not only the bad influences but, I felt from her to so she could do what she wanted. I fought back. She finally gave up fighting me and said if I was going to act grown then I was on my own and it was up to Trip to take care of me. I started working at a resturante making decent money and mom and her man moved out, leaving me and Trip the bills to pay. I turned 17 and that christmas I found out I was pregnant! At first we were scared, but we realized we both had to grow up and start acting like adults. We moved all the roommates out to make room for our family. Trip started working harder and his dad gave him part of the family roofing business. I waddled across the graduation stage and got my deploma 6 months pregnant. Haven came into the world as a huge 9lb 6 ounce healthy and gorgeous baby girl. Mom and her man got married after I graduated and Trip and I got married 6 months ago.
I have grown up so much since my 16th year! I've realized that all the choices I have made have led me to where I am today. I sometimes look back and wonder if I had stayed the corse and not sliped into temptation where would I be today? I went to a football game and saw a girl that reminded myself so much of me. I don't think she knew I was listening but she was talking to her friend and was saying that she couldn't wait to move out of her parents house. They control her and don't let her do what she wants with her life. The thing is back then if my parents had been more concerned I may have never tryied drugs, or smoking, or drinking. I may have finished college before getting married and bringing a life in this world. I wouldn't change my life today for anything in the world! However, I feel that I missed out on so many things like my senior year, prom, I dropped out of colorguard and ROTC which I excelled at. My grades slipped to nearly failing. All the effects of what I was chosing shown through when I looked back and seen that I was only pushing myself to do the wrong things and giving up on all the right things.
Today, I am a part time student and full time stay at home mom. My husband and I have grown together and are stronger then I ever realized we could be. We are currently buying a home and he is excelling in his and his fathers business. All my friends from school and all his from the old days are gone. They were only around for the latest buzz and using us for our conections. Now we both lead clean and hopeful lives. We work everyday to be powerful influences to our baby girl and keep her from the mistakes we made.
I guess the main reason I wrote this post is to make it aware, TEENS, we don't have to be argumentive and hateful to our folks. I found that my mom ended up being right about alot of things that I swore shed be wrong about. And I found myself apologizing for all the pain that I once felt she inflicted on me. I found that I am really the one that added to it.
All those high school friends that you thought you'd die for and be there for forever won't be there forever. You think once you go your seperate ways life won't intervien but it always does. All you need is a few to make it. And the boy your dating in the 8th grade probably won't be the one you marry and that's ok! In the end the longer you take to grow up the happier and stronger you become just because you learned to learn and except what isand isn't, and what your heart really believes.
High School Isn't Healthy
on Dec 4, 2011, 12:37AM
You heard me.
I'm pretty sure the social dynamic of high schools (or at least my high school) is a breeding ground for mental illness
I was diagnosed with a chronic illness at the end of last year, and so I've been on homebound for the past 2 semesters. And you know what? Since I've been able to step back from the life I'd been living, and look at things semi-objectively, and with a clear head, and high school is kind of terrifying. It just is: Most people are insane, and those who aren't are being driven insane by the proximity to so much madness, and being caught in the middle of the chaos of 8-10 hours of school per day, plus 4-6 hours of homework per night, unless it's a weekend, then you have 8 hours of homework each day, unless you're going to be busy with church or something else one of those days- in which case you have 16 hours of homework for one day. If you have something going on both days of the weekend? You're going to fail.
High school should be a part of your life, not your entire life. And I'm pretty sure the stress of doing well in school, and acting in such a way that you will be socially accepted, or even just trying not to flunk out of school, is killing people. I'm 6th in my class of 250+ students, and I think I'm going to have to drop out of school and just get my GED, otherwise, I'm going to work myself to death. Some people are able to do 20 hours of work a day on only 4 hours of sleep each night without any problems, but I'm definitely not one of them. It's literally killing me. And for what? A high school diploma?
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