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on Dec 3, 2011, 1:38PM
when it comes to school, what i want is not what somes out. i it in class and only soemtimes d o i do the work. even if i stare at the paper tellign myself over and over that i have to do it. then weh the teacher tells us the homework, i try to remember it but when i start writign it down ive already forgotten what it was. when it comes to friends i have few. and one of them is wither hanging out with her boyfriend or at someones where im nto alloud at because im antisotial. i dont know what to do, since im already seeign a councler and i have already been on anti-depressents zoloft and fluoxitine(stopped).
so waht can i do?
My sister is a Psychopath
on Nov 30, 2011, 8:37AM
I come from a very delicate upbringing. My father commited suicide when I was around 3-4, in a family of 5 and my mother is deaf. I am the youngest of them all. Shortly put, when I got around 17-18 I suffered in a very unhealthy relationship with a girl that I had met. This opened my eyes, becuase I could not really do anything else, but start working on my self-esteem and confidence. For about a year I lived with my mom, and I started to make really good progress. Mostly career-wise, I do not have a paid job. But I am running my own companies and so on, and all is good in that end. Relationship-wise, there has been some trouble back and forth. I have had a quite some hard time to find who I want to be in a relationship. There is going on some identical issues on that front, it is like im just floating around really. Then my sister moved back home again, and I have not seen her for a while. She has been on her own living with friends and so on. Anyways, it has been a complete disaster. She blames me for that her dreams are not coming true which has been a very hard thing to deal with since I am all about fulfilling my own dreams and focusing on that. She tells me that I am worthless, that I am an idiot, she lies to me and I feel as if all she does is try to manipulate and exploit me in every way she can. It is draining me of energy and I feel as if my internal self is wrecking to pieces.
There has been no success in talking. When I told her how -I- felt without saying anyhting about her, she laughs at me and seems to enjoy that I suffer. I told her that when she said that I was worthless and that this made my life very hard to deal with, she laughed at me. Then I simply turned my back on her since there is no way to reason with her, and then she starts to have a nervous kind of breakdown where she cries really hard, and screams at my mother telling her that I am destroying my sisters dreams and goals.
I don't know what to do about this other than feeling sorry for myself. And if I am not feeling sorry for myself my thoughts are going ridicoulisly out of focus. I start dissecting stuff for hours and try to figure stuff out. It is destroying my life. How can I deal with this?
HELP!!!!! Grandmother Stuck In The Middle!!!!!!
on Nov 11, 2011, 7:43PM
God where do I begin? I have a 17 yr. old grandson that is having Issues with his mother " My Daughter" Their is alot of History to where I am going with this BUT would take too much time to tell it all. I will say she was 15 when she had him & he is her oldest child! She is Married Not to either of her kids Father & he has Controling Issues & has cheated on my daughter & so on , you get the point. One Issue with him is that he paid for His son's driving school & bought him a car & it gets rubbed into my grandson's face. I personally don't think its fair at all. My Grandson is a senior in High school, Has Great Grades & has NO social Life what so ever except to come here on the weekends. Overall I think he's a Great Kid! No drinking, drugs, running around etc.. He doesn't disrespect me & I Listen & talk to him. My grandkids are Not alowed to Speak at all. To my daughter it's Back Talking! She Yells & screams at the kids All the time. Her Attitude is COMPLETELY different when she is with her Husband than when she is not. I am Not the only one that notices this. Recently their was a confrontation with my Grandson & Daughter, This time she kicked him out & told him he could come here. She wouldn't let him take any of his clothes, bookbag for school or a Jacket or a coat. He walked 5 miles to my house in the freezing cold ( she took his cell phone away, which was his ONLY birthday present) She text my Husband last night & told him that He better get a ride to school & better be in school today or she's calling the police & reporting him as a run away etc.. He went to school, not because of her Threats But because thats the right thing to do & like I said it's his Senior Year. He would have walked if he had to. Tonight she sends me a text telling me I need to have her back & tell him he can't stay here & that he needs to deal with his consequences for his actions.... If I don't than I can write her & the rest of the kids Off & out of their life. She says I should Support Her because she's My Kid & needs my support!! First of all, He's Not my child he s her child & she shouldn't have lost control in the first place! She's is his mother so Why should I have to be the " Bad Guy" & tell him he has to leave here & go home? I had already told her early this morning that when im feeling better ( I have strep throat & a fever right now) that i was going to have a talk with him anyway, but for her to send that text to me was wrong & she should RESPECT the fact that I am her Mother. I have Legal custody of 3 of my grandchildren, none of hers. Personally I want to tell her that She's his mother & that she needs to call & talk to him & tell him he has to come back home & Not put me in a position like that. She Just wants me to be the " BAD" person. She probably realizes she made a mistake kicking him out & instead of admitting it wants to go this route! Personally I don't think it's a Healthy enviroment their for him right now & I feel for him having to go through all of this his Senior Year!! PLEASE... PLEASE... I NEED SUGGESTIONS ASAP!! Thanks, Christine
I give up.
on Nov 5, 2011, 4:27PM
I don't feel like editing so I'll just paste what I've submitted to the show n such...
My mom has A LOT of problems, the worst being paranoia. Everyone is always out to get her, or talking rudely to her, people follow her around the grocery store and watch our house?? She's said a lot of crazy things like that... The worst probably being "If I don't mow the lawn, my boss will see it and fire me!!" First, our grass was not even 2 inches long. Second, no one from her work even lives in our area of town. Third, she works at a little hole in the wall dry cleaner. It makes no sense the things she worries about daily...
She even believes her own sister and son (my MUCH older brother) are out to get her,
or are hiding things about her. All this builds up ridiculous amounts of stress for her, and causes her to be entirely just,
mentally abusive toward me.
It's gotten to the point that if I can't make money and move out VERY soon, I might just break and be as insane as she is! My friends are so irritated with her that they now refuse to come to my house.
She's finally isolated me from everyone. She refuses to even tell/teach me anything about being an adult
so that she won't be left here alone!!
I'm 19 years old, and I don't even know how to fill out a resume.
(which is probably why I can't find a job...) The Insurance company refused to talk to her since I'm an adult, so she had to put me on the phone, and I wanted to cry with embarrassment because I didn't know how to answer half their questions.
I couldn't even tell them the last 4 digits to my Social Security Number because I've never had access to it!!
She wasn't crazy when I was little. I think it started when
I told my dad to divorce her when I was 7yrs old. I lost my childhood, my father, my mother, and am now losing my mind!
Well, what I mean is that I basically went from "hey! ponies and candy! I'm 7!" to "Daddy, things just aren't working out. Maybe you should divorce mommy? I'm 30 now..." Of course, I didn't say "i'm 30", but the rest of that was exactly what I told him... I had to take responsibilities that no kid should because their fighting was getting in the way of my getting enough sleep for school!
My mom always starts fights with me because of the way I dress, saying "you look like $h*t! why can't you dress like a girl!!
You were so pretty, and you just want to make yourself ugly
!" So, I admit, I have problems too... I used to freak out in my head because people were just, staring at me for NO REASON. So I dye my hair obnoxious colors? And wear "Goth" clothes?
I like the look, and now those people all have a reason to look at me! It makes me much more comfortable honestly.
But I'm miserable Dr.Phil. She used to watch your show religiously, so I know she would listen.
She refuses counseling and medication for some other paranoid reasons... So I can't convince her to get help. Is there anything I (or you) can do?
Even if she's driven me to almost entirely hating her, I still feel sorta... bad... that she's just this far gone mentally.
on Oct 24, 2011, 10:06AM
I guess I have a lot of the same struggles as most other teens: boys, school, parents, identity. I'm 19 right now so I'm not a teen for much longer but there is a particular teen struggle about which I want to raise awareness-- mental illness. Mental illness is a devastating struggle for so many teens and their families and it carries such a destructive social stigma. If you were to say "I'm battling cancer," people would show the utmost support and express their sympathy and respect for you and your struggle. But when you say "I'm battling depression or anxiety or post traumatic stress disorder," people look at you uncomfortably and walk away.
I suffer from those three disorders. I have for many years. They stem partially from heredity and partially from the sexual abuse I endured as a child. I hid that secret for eight years until my mind finally cracked under the pressure. It led to a lot of destructive decisions on my part and an eventual hospitalization that lasted for almost five months.
One of the hardest things for me is gaining back the respect and love of people now that I am recovering. I made so many bad decisions. It did so much damage to my family-- to my parents and to my younger siblings. Thankfully, they have stuck by me through it all and they love me regardless. It took us a long time to repair our relationship but I thank God every day that it WAS saved. However, there are people outside my family who knew of my mistakes who are much harder to reach out to. I feel as though no matter what I do, they will never see me in a good light again. The desperate need to prove myself as a good person, a changed person, hinders my progress. I address that need in therapy with my doctor but it's still so hard. I feel as though I will never be able to do enough to make up for the damage I did or to prove that I really really am a good person.
One thing that does bring me comfort, however, is sharing my story. There are so many things in there that I am ashamed of and scared of for fear of legal repercussions. But I have been graced with the opportunity to see how sharing my story has changed other people's lives for the better. I feel as though my talking about it gives other people permission and courage to speak about their struggles as well.
I hope it helps someone because that is what keeps me getting even better-- so other people can know they can do the same.
Uncomfortable talking to parents
on Oct 12, 2011, 1:44PM
Hey guys my names Alison and for the past year and a half I've been having some issuses talking to my parents about things, especially things that have to do with my social life. For the record, I'm not hiding anything from them , Ive been through that stage in high school and it wasnt fun, but i feel like ive gotten their trust back and stuff. It just seems like when it comes to guys and the "social scene" they hold me back from a lot i think. Im not a party girl by any means, I dont do drugs or drink i just wanna go out and have a good time with my friends, but i feel like if i mention a boy of if they dont have all the information about whats going on im not allowed to go. I live with my mom and her and I dont get along at all. I acknowledge the fact that i live under her roof and have to abide by her rules, but at the same time she cant keep such a tight leash on me, its like her and my dad want me to get the best out of life but if you keep me from experiencing things how am i supposed to get the most out of it ya know. It's gotten to the point where they are keeping me from getting a full education. I can only take online classes because they dont wanna buy me a car, but im running out of online classes to take so sooner or later im goin to have to go on campus. Im looking for a job but thats a struggle to because my mom dont wanna go out on the weekends to help me job search, everything has to be done online or on my own. Its tough because im really trying to make themselves and myself proud by doing what I gotta do to end up on my own paying my own bills. Against them two i feel inferior because I am such a free spirit and accept everyone as who they are but they seem so narrow-minded. I told myself im not dating anyone til i move out because if one thing is wrong with the guy theyll pick him apart and threaten to throw me out of the house if i dont break up with him. Thats another thing too, i feel like i have to walk on eggshells because if i do one thing wrong or lie ill be kicked out of the house. My mom said if i lie to her one more time that my stuff will be on the porch. I mean im trying so hard to be a great kid , and i am , they tell me all the time but in the next breath its the total opposite. Ive been graduated from high school for two years and they still bring up that i didnt do so well in high school. I had A's and B's all 4 years and i participated in clubs and the band, but i feel like whatever i do its not good enough. I do everything they say and it just doesnt seem to be enough. I feel like they dont understand me. I feel distant, and i feel like if i show them the real true me they wont accept it. Thats what im afraid of, rejection.
learning to cope as a 17 yr old mom
on Oct 4, 2011, 5:34PM
I am a 17 yr old mom who has been through alot the past few yrs, my mom lives in chile, that was not a good situation for me down there, i excaped the abuse i live in canada now my home country with my grandparents, they can be sooverbearing at times, and i really cant wait to get out on my own. i moved here in march 2009 from chile, when i came home i had alot of self esteem issues and sought affection in places i probably shouldnt of, at 15 i got with a 17 yr old who happens to have alot of his own issues, at the age of 1 hes dad shot his mom while he was in his moms arms then shot himself. i ended up pregnant by this guy and it wasnt pretty, he wanted me to abortit and to this day my son is 15 months in 2 days has not payed any child support and says the baby is not his i have a court date set for november the 8th hopefully get some things cleared up. i am now just trying to do whats right for me and my baby boy. dealing with rumors and critisism in school from friends of thr babys dad and always saying things to me. back in january we got physical after he taunted me for a while about sexual things him and one of his buddys i almost got pushed ontop of our at the time 6 month old son, and i got all the blame that it was all my fault.
on Oct 4, 2011, 2:30PM
Samantha's story at the end of the show resonated with me in that my cousin was killed by her abuser in April. She asked him to move out of her house, but did not feel safe still. Her mom stayed with her in her house for days until she felt safe. She was wrong. Her abuser arrived at her house at 2am and killed her as she tried to drive away from him. Samantha is lucky to be alive. Many abused women do not survive their abuse, amd my family's loss is an example of this tendency.
on Oct 4, 2011, 2:26PM
I keep hearing that if a guy makes you feel scared then it's a warning sign. And if you never feel scared, that's good. But I am neither. I'm not really scared, just kind of uneasy. In september of 2008 I started dating this guy. We dated until just last year. While dating, he could do little wrong. I got annoyed at times but didn't say much. I didn't feel scared or concerned. Then after breaking up I posted something on facebook about finally finishing my homework. Within the minute I got a call from him, "So you finished your homework?" And I just told him I was too tired to talk. He then replied with, "Oh, you don't want to see me?" Clearly, I was confused and he said "Look outside." So I looked out my window and saw a car with the headlights off pulling into my driveway. It was about midnight. I told him to go away, so he came to my window. I just sighed and talked to him a few moments then said goodbye. I was trying to get to bed when I jokingly texted my friend about what happened and how stupid he was. They seemed very concerned. I brushed it off, I didnt see much other than an annoyance. About 3 in the morning I heard a knock on my window, and sure enough there he stood. "Hey what time do you usually get up in the morning? You know what, nevermind. Night!" and he walked off. I got more annoyed, and a little uneasy. I didnt feel scared because I had known him for years and knew he wouldnt hurt me. About 8 in the morning I got another knock at my window, and him telling me to get up, go ask my mom if I can go with him to breakfast, then get ready to go. I got mad at him and told him to go talk to her. He got mad, and walked away. He keep's saying that I am acting weird and getting grumpy over nothing. When we were dating, I didn't mind him randomly popping up. Now it just makes me uneasy. Not really scared. Kind of annoyed. But mainly uneasy. How do I talk to him about this? I just want to be able to sleep again without the calls or texts or him popping up at my window.
on Oct 4, 2011, 2:22PM -
In reply to concern17
i was in a similiar relationship that you were in or are currently in. I can tell you from experience that it only will get worse. it took me 4yrs before I decided to wake up and leave my ex-girlfriend. today, i dont regret the discision. I've made breaking up with her. I got my friends and family back. I'm currently going out with someone that loves me for me and supports me in every decision i make good or bad.
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