Sign up for the Dr. Phil Newsletter
Twitter Facebook YouTube

2011 Shows

 
You may know that one in four women will become a victim of domestic violence, but did you know that one in nine men will too? Violence against men is rarely talked about and under-reported. Dr. Phil continues his campaign to end the silence on domestic violence with two couples willing to open up about their abusive relationships. Steve says his wife, Monica, punches him and recently pushed him down a flight of stairs. He says he’s not only afraid of her abuse, he’s afraid of how he may retaliate in the heat of anger. The couple has nine children between them – two of whom are severely disabled – and they’re worried about the effect their explosive arguments have on their kids. Then, Charlie worries she’ll get so angry at her new husband, Gary, that she’ll lash out and inadvertently kill him. Gary says that everything he does makes his wife mad, and he just can’t win. Can these women learn to control their tempers and stop the chaos before something tragic happens?

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: sophie4444 on Dec 30, 2013, 8:05PM
I was really moved by this episode. I was especially affected by Charlie, who clearly carries a rage that is deep and, yes, probably physiological. You can tell that NEiTHER of these women want to be this angry. You can tell that their anger is from the inside out, and that anything or anyone would set them off.

I myself have had anger issues that I have dealt with with medication, and my heart just went out to these two couples. The problem really can be fixed, and I send my blessings to all involved. Dr. Phil handled this with his quintessential professionalism, tact, and respect. Thank you for yet more teaching moments, Dr. Phil!
 
Replied By: sera666x on Feb 9, 2013, 9:51PM - In reply to akitawolf1
I ABSOLUTELY AGREE! i was mortified that this audience found this humorous! my heart was breaking while seeing this man so heart broken over the abuse he receives from his wife.... I also must admit, I wasn't very impressed that Dr. Phil had a few chuckles and seemed like he had a "light attitude" to it either.... i am a big fan of dr phil, but on this episode, i definitely think he could have shown alot more support for gary and treated him with much more  compassion and empathy. My heart really goes out to that man, and I hope his wife wakes up to what a loving, caring husband she has.
 
Replied By: sera666x on Feb 9, 2013, 9:47PM
Wow, my heart absolutely broke while listening to you. You sound and appear like such a sweet soul, any woman would be lucky to have you! I really hope that your wife learns to deal with here anger and gives you the respect and love that you deserve. Do not let her break you, if she continues to abuse you and mistreat you, come to Australia! The women here would love a caring, handsome man like yourself! You are definitely a much better catch than all the blokes that still pound their chest over here!

I wish you all the best and happiness Gary x
 
Replied By: deideitedder on Jan 2, 2013, 9:37AM - In reply to rbngage
First of all, you have claimed that everyone on his side of the family has been abusive to her at one time or another. You have made multiple calls to CPS in an attempt to harass our entire family and try to gain custody. Every single call has led to home visits and welfare checks all resulting in all of us being cleared of any and all accusations made by you. As far as the arguement between you and 'your granddaughters father', yes it was about you allowing the mother to see her... What you failed to mention was that the mothers live in boyfriend had MOLESTED your granddaughter and that she chose to remain with him over her child and the court ordered that her (your daughters) boyfriend was not to have ANY contact and the mother only had supervised visitation. Yet you brought her there anyway. The only reason you called CPS was because the police let him leave With his daughter and you didn't want him too. He only took  her to protect her... Not just to get back at you and your daughter. 
 
Replied By: lemd58 on Jun 17, 2011, 7:03AM
I studied domestic violence and rape/sexual abuse against males and believe me - it happens. Men who are beaten and/or rape experience compounded shame by virtue of their gender and most don't seek help. If they do, they should go to domestic abuse shelters for gay men because most of the resources are for women - including the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which absorbs like a sponge donations from around the world. Men need help, too, and Dr Phil handled the topic brilliantly.
 
Replied By: edinnc on Jun 1, 2011, 8:05PM
However, it is good to hear stories told and/or talked about concerning abuse to men. All too often women get away with being physically/emotionally abusive with their husbands all the while knowing that they can get away with it because their husband have enough moral fortitude to not hit back. They take advantage of this fact and in my opinion I feel, it's incredibly malicious and even predatory on the females part.

I was, well sort of am now too, in an abusive type relationship. My second wife was so abusive ....you know what...let me just state the things that went on...

second wife....
eyes clawed and gouged
punched repeatedly (while holding our new born!)
items thrown at me (again, while holding our child)
yelling, screaming, spitting
yelling at the kids ( 1-- 6/7 yrd old, 1--2yr old) that she wishes their daddy would get his head cut off at work and that she wants to kill herself and anyone that gets in her way.
Leaping onto the car when I was trying to back out of the driveway to get away from her so she would calm down.
Calling the kids stupid
My oldest daughter confessed to me, later in life,  that there were times when I was at work that she would slap her face and alegedly burned her with a cigarette.
If police were ever involved, she would tell them if anybody was hitting anyone it waws her hitting me. She was threatened to be taken by the police more than once.

I could go on here honestly but I will not....

...onto the 3rd, current wife....

Full can of soda over-handed thrown up against my temple
many times of swinging arms/fists and hitting me
outed my sexuality to everyone one in our family and even many others( bosses, daughters botfriends, etc)
While traveling down the interstate at 60 plus miles an hour, slamming on the breaks causing the car to go into a violent swerving left to right manner and eventually slamming against the concrete gaurd rail on the passenger side.
numerous times of destroying personal property

Sorry people, you have nothing on true abuse. Leave the Bitch now while you have a chance.

Thanks for listening.
 
Replied By: dr1958 on May 30, 2011, 9:02PM
Dr Phil
I think its a wonderful thing you are doing....but...the picture you have with the advertisement should also include men and children.Its about time that everyone was educated on abuse..its just not against women..men and children are also affected.Everywhere you look its  violence against women...not much out there for men.I think if you are going to start educating then the rules should be changed and advertized..that violence is not just against women but men and children too and should be included in the same advertizement
 
Replied By: astrokmb on May 30, 2011, 8:19PM
I watched with much grief and sadness the story of little Shanda and her tragic death. While I understand and absolutely respect the right of her family to feel and react in any way that they need to to cope and keep breathing, as I watched the show I was becoming increasingly frustrated by some obvious oversights, and as such, I must play devil’s advocate. How many of us as teenagers ever threatened to hurt another person? How many of us as teenagers ever wanted to kill someone (friend? Classmate? Teacher? Sibling? Parent?) we didn’t like or whom we perceived as having done us harm or wrong? How many of us as teenagers had ever told friends about someone that we hated so much we could kill them? Or beat them up? Or torture? Or perform all sorts of unspeakable things on? Dr. Phil HIMSELF often talks about how teenagers do not have the gift of foresight, do not have good decision-making skills, have developing brains that are not tuned in to action/effect. Why was it convenient this time around for Dr. Phil to grill the woman who got out of jail about why she did what she did. I believe she WAS answering honestly—even admitting that she has no answers and that she was a weak kid. On other shows, on less serious subjects, Dr. Phil would explain to parents that kids that age are not aware of the consequences of their actions and they are incapable of making good decisions. Combine that with the completely unbelievable statements being made by a peer claiming to want to kill someone, no one would have believed it. Their peers didn’t believe it. And once things were set in motion, these teenagers with developing brains, lack of self-awareness, lack of awareness of the consequences of their actions, would have had to have EXTRAORDINARY self esteem, strength and foresight to put a stop to it. That’s a rare person in general. I am not by any means rationalizing what they did. It is deplorable, and frankly they should spend the rest of their lives in jail. What concerns me is the imposition of an interpretation of events from the perspective of an adult with hindsight and a lifetime of experience and self-discovery behind you to say you would do things differently. Just like people say they would NEVER confess to a crime they never committed…and yet that happens every day. We cannot possibly know how we WOULD HAVE REACTED in that situation with our naïve, acceptance-needing, fearful, lacking-self-esteem, hormone laden, awkward teen brain caught up in the most bizarre and extraordinarily unbelievable circumstances spiraling out of control, no doubt in complete denial as things happened that those things were actually happening. Hell, if a teenager frets about putting a dent in mom and dad’s car and tries to hide it for fear of consequences, I’m not surprised that at least a couple of these girls reacted the way they did after they realized they murdered someone. Again, no excuses. I just believe it’s not so easy to pass judgment on the decisions they made that day. And while I can understand why Dr. Phil would not have had a discussion about the teenage brain while Shanda’s family was present, I was a bit surprised that he didn’t include a post-show comment emphasizing yet again, why we need to pay closer attention to teens and what they say because they are physiologically incapable of behaving in any other way.
 
Replied By: momachrys on May 30, 2011, 7:25PM
Is it ok for a man to teach his daughter how to use a tampoon?
 
Replied By: ozhawk on May 30, 2011, 6:46PM - In reply to lsdobbs1
As I have gotten older and with each new child I learned something. Some children actually hear you when you speak to them. My oldest was spanked (not counting me tapping her pam
 
Showing 1-10 of total 101 Comments