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In a groundbreaking two-part series, Dr. Phil sits down with four women who’ve had affairs with married men and asks them the hard questions everyone wants to know. Cara, 45, Marcella, 50, Angela, 30, and Beth, 49, open up about how their affairs started, what they think about the wives and how they justify their behavior. What the women don’t know is that two scorned wives are watching from backstage and will get their chance to confront these other women! Don’t miss this eye-opening look inside the minds of mistresses. You may learn something that can help protect your marriage from an affair!

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: sybnann on Jun 17, 2014, 1:39AM
I too am seeing a married man. I met him about five years ago. I am singe (a widow), and he and his wife have been married for over twenty years. His wife has many health problems, and it is true;  not only have I heard this from others, but I have also seen her myself. This man is unlike any man I have ever known. He is very kind, and is there for his wife. He even puts her shoes and socks on her feet every day because she is unable to bend over. I do feel sorry for her and I am sure that she suffers with all of her ailments. I am not intending to break them up, or take him away, and I have made that clear to him. I love him dearly but would never want him permenantly at her expense.

For the first two or so years we were just the best of friends. He knows the darkest parts of me and yet he never judged me. He would just hold me, let me cry, and comfort me. His wife and mother-in-law are smothering him, and there are days that it is hard to take. His own mother lives right next door to him and his wife. He knows that if he left right now there would be no one to take care of his wife.

I have never felt guilty but also never thought I would be in this position. I cannot help my feelings, and he brings light to my life, as it is now. I love the Dr. Phil show and although I do see his point of view, I do not believe that the same "shoe" fits everyone.

 
Replied By: karatasmom on May 1, 2014, 12:29PM - In reply to radtech109
Awesome!
 
Replied By: karatasmom on May 1, 2014, 12:28PM - In reply to titathepixie
awesome!
 
Replied By: rutland1913 on Apr 29, 2014, 10:16AM
I just watched this episode on a Dr. Phil marathon, and I am very angry. The "mistresses," I feel were not articulate enough to explain their situations and their emotions. But that's not what I'm angry about. I'm angry about is Dr. Phil's, and the "cheated on wives'" judgmentalism without facts. And I'm most angry about blaming the "mistress" - who may well be single - and not blaming the married man - the one who is actually cheating.

I got involved with a married man this way: no Internet sites; we worked together for four years, feelings grew, and after four years we gave in to them. I left my husband shortly thereafter. I felt if I was in love with someone else, I couldn't be married. My married boyfriend was extremely reluctant to leave his wife and felt she was a good wife and needed him. I did feel that a man in a good marriage would not get involved with another woman. I broke up with him many times, told him to stay with his wife, but he pursued me relentlessly - and I was madly in love with him, so I always ended up giving in. 

Our love was incredible - like movie love. I know the excitement part was enhanced by the situation, but it was much more than that. He eventually did leave his wife and we were married. Twenty years later, we divorced. It has been the greatest joy and the greatest heartache of my life.

But I believe it's possible for people to just plain fall in love, find a soulmate, and try their best after that to do the right thing. Once I was single, I did feel he was cheating on his wife but I was not. Sometimes I was on her side, telling him to go back to her. I meant it, too. Other times, all I knew was this tremendous, overpowering love for him and could not fight it - did not want to fight it.

I guess that's all. It isn't always a dirty thing. It hurts a lot of people, but love has to be respected.



 
Replied By: titathepixie on Dec 29, 2013, 10:36AM
I love Dr. Phil, but I thought that this particular show seemed a little onesided. Yes, we got to hear about what it is like to be a mistress, and no, it's probably not the wisest of decisions, but isn't the cheater (in this instance, the married men) responsible for where he puts his (pick a word of your choosing)?

I understand that if one's spouse/romantic partner cheats, the cheated partner is sure to feel some anger towards the mistress/whatever the male word for mistress is, it's understandable. But, arguably, the cheater would have found someone to cheat with, whether it be this or the next person who comes along. The mistress/male equivalent is not the one who lured and lured, until the cheater could no longer resist.


I'll admit that I am not unbiased. My mother had an affair with a married man, who kept telling her that his marriage wasn't very good, and that he'd leave her eventually (the wife, that is). My mother was very much in love with him, and breaking up with him wasn't easy on her. So yes, I probably look with a less judgemental eye on the mistresses, than people who have been cheated on, would do. Sometimes, the mistresses are people with very low self esteem, who will jump at the opportunity of being wanted, and will gobble up the compliments of being preferred for the wife.
 
Replied By: radtech109 on Sep 22, 2013, 7:22PM - In reply to aandw35
I am not an idiot! I sleep with a married man because he's safe. I have great self esteem. I don't want a husband. I've worked around men as an engineer and the great majority cheat. Why would I be stupid and marry one and expect him not to cheat? The only ones that don't are ugly and no one wants them. Be assured all the cute hot ones do. Even the quiet reserved and shy ones do. They're the best in bed also. Those that look as if they never would do. The husband who seems to always be helpful and attentive has to leave your side and when he does, he sees us single women who don't want a full time man but don't want to be promiscuous and date around. I have my MM, I have my freedom, I have my friends, I have my money; all you folks who try to say negatives about us, well you're wrong. Do you have the courage to realize that there really are women who don't care if the man they date is married or is having sex with another woman? It's true. Not all women are clingy and afraid to be alone. We just don't want any diseases. I only see my MM. He's enough for me. Once a week, great sex, then home he goes.
 
Replied By: radtech109 on Sep 22, 2013, 6:37PM
I don't have anything but LOL for these wives on this show. I'm a mistress to a married man. He's married 25 years. Guess what? I don't feel sorry for his wife. I don't feel remorse. I don't feel guilty. I don't want to break up his marriage, but if it does break up, I won't feel badly. He's a big boy. I'm single. Guess I don't have a lot of respect for wives. I've been one. Have to admit, my husband was lazy. I got tired of always doing everything and being the only responsible party. I asked for divorce after 18 years. My man didn't cheat as far as I know, but no one ever knows. If you don't want your man to cheat, then there are many things you should be doing. For one, treat him and look at him as you did when you were first in love and dating. Many times, as the years go by, people change into different people, to the point they aren't anything like they were when dating. Now, these people have so little in common that they wouldn't go out on a first date, but here they are, 40, 45, etc., and married. If you want your hubs to not cheat, you also must give him sex, even if you don't want to. Unless you are sick, you can fake it for 15 minutes. If you have an infection, you can give him oral. How hard is that? Do something unexpected once in a while in the sex department, like go out to dinner, then get it on in the back seat. Call him and ask him to meet you at Home Depot, you need help, then when he shows up, drive around behind the shopping center and give him oral and I guarantee you he won't think of any other women but you. Tell him how much you appreciate his hard work when he comes home. Tell him from time to time how hot he is, how much you like his butt or legs, etc. My guy and I met 7 years ago but didn't start affair until 10 months ago. We kept in touch, but not a lot. I knew he was into me and he I years ago, but after I got out of his class, we only emailed about our kids, life, etc. about twice a year. Nothing real personal or sexual. I never ask about his marriage or his wife. Occasionally he will bring something up, but he has never said anything negative about either. From all I've read about affairs, ours is different. No promises, no me asking him to leave. Neither of us says I love you, but we do communicate with our eyes and can read each other. When he left the country for a month, his eyes welled up with tears and so did mine. No, I don't relate to guilt or anything in this show. If his wife appeared or called, I'd not care. I'd just stand there and listen to her.  I have no feelings about her. Whatever their troubles are, if they do have any, which they may not, or whatever reason he has for being with me, which he once told me on his own, without me asking, that he doesn't know why he's with me, these are of no concern to me. The problems are with him. He's married and answers to her if he wants to. I'm single and I answer to no one. I will be with who I wish when I wish as long as he will have me. No strings attached. I have learned, one cannot leash another person. No one will be true to you if they don't want to be. You have your head in the sand if you think so. One will only be true to you as long as they want to themselves, you have no control other than to treat them as best as you can. Doubt I'll marry again. I have worked around men in a previous career in radio and engineering, and I have to say, 90% of the men I've been employed around talk alot about cheating and their affairs. I don't think it's reasonable to expect a person to stay in a monogamous relationship such as marriage for the long term. Men know this and hide it. Women are dumb and haven't caught on.
 
Replied By: alisun06 on Nov 10, 2012, 10:37AM - In reply to sambo777
Hi- I just read your comment, but then noticed you posted it a year and a half ago. I was wondering if you were ever able to break away from the relationship. I'm just like you- nevesmilie million years thought I would be capable of doing this.  knew him for five years, was coming out of an abusive marriage (drugs and alcohol)- and his attention made me feel wanted. he told me he was getting divorced too, so that's how I justified it. Now, two years later, I'm divorced, he still lives with her. She found out about us, and told me their marriage was over long before I came along, and that he can't afford to move out, so what they have is a living arrangement, not a marriage. And yet- 1-1/2 years later he still can't afford to move out, and I'm still the stupid, weak other woman waiting for the day that will never come.  I've dated other guys, knowing this is a dead end, but he pursues me even stronger when I back away, and I get sucked back in. I know it's wrong, even if their marriage is over, because he still hides it from her.  I know I'm so stupid, but the pain is so great every time I break it off that I keep going back. I was wondering if you were ever able to end your relationship, and if so- if you had any advice.  Thanks.
 
Replied By: nyredhead311 on Feb 21, 2012, 10:15AM - In reply to sambo777
I just saw this after all this time. I walked away from him although he still pursues and I wish sometimes that it had worked. But I met a single man that I cannot explain now much he intrigues me and how much I respect him. He has also sat me down and taught me so much since he has dated/been married to.or experienced some of the same things in life...God brings people into our lives to help us and I do hope he stays-i do luv him allot-if not then I want him to feel appreciated because what he brought into my life and how much he has helped me I could never thank him enough...good things do happen! My married man has moved on to others! I told his wife and she could careless. We till talk and I am not only mad at me for dating him and staying with him...I am also am mad at me for not turning him into the Catholic Church -- he is the music/choir director in a Catholic Church who lusts over his choir and has had sex inside the church. Ladies run and hide when he says that he is married!
 
Replied By: nyredhead311 on May 15, 2011, 4:38PM - In reply to sambo777
Hon I know how u feel-it hurts like hell. But u also deserve a nice man who will be there for u 24/7..luving u and treating u with luv and respect! Why should we have to settle for less?
 
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