Sign up for the Dr. Phil Newsletter
Twitter Facebook YouTube

2011 Shows

 
(Original Air Date: 04/08/11) Imagine if out of the blue, your spouse tells you he or she doesn’t want to be married anymore. Then you realize your partner is nearly 50 years old, getting in shape, updating his or her wardrobe and joining Facebook! Is this a midlife crisis? Dr. Phil sits down with two couples who are on the brink of divorce. Tony and Jill have been married for four years, but Tony says he wants out so he can have his freedom back and not have the pressure and responsibility of having a wife. Their divorce will be final in a few weeks -- so why is Jill still sleeping with him? And, Miles says his wife of 10 years, Elaine, is going through a midlife crisis and believes that’s the reason she had an affair. Elaine says she doesn’t regret her indiscretions because the other man made her feel happy and alive. Is there hope for their marriage? Find out the warning signs of a midlife crisis and what Dr. Phil says these couples must do before calling it quits!

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: kbkitts on Mar 26, 2014, 12:02AM
I believe Tony is infact searching to find out who he really is ....with no attachments. Remeber, he said "he was:  doing him right now, ". It's sad she is an amazing woman. My thoughts are on a much greater wave length on this one. God bless you both.
 
Replied By: on Sep 8, 2012, 2:49AM
I must admit....if Tony were single, I'd date him :)
 
Replied By: calmandsnt on Jul 16, 2011, 2:55PM
I watched the show about Tony wanting to get a divorce. Well, I'm in the same situation. I love my wife but at the same time I feel that our marriage is  lame/boring! I feel that  want to see how things can be if I was separate from my wife for awhile. I'm working out , dieting(although I'm not a fat guy.....got a  small gut), out-going, fun to be around and just love to have a good time....especially laughing! My wife....let's just say I have to pump her up as if priming her to have fun. But I don't know what's Tony's problem with his wife...exactly! But I do think if he(Tony) dosen't have another woman on the side ALREADY, then theres some that he's interested in seeing/dating that he's been Facebooking or texting. I'm just saying! Why would a guy want to get out of a marriage if he still love his wife and want to see her. Well, besides the fact that I think Tony just dosen't want to answer any "Where you been" questions anymore. He probably want to stay married!
 
Replied By: godandi on Jul 15, 2011, 8:34AM
I've not yet hit mid-life, and I love and like my husband, but sometimes I really don't want to be married. It is alot of pressure. I feel trapped for a number of reasons. I think I would love our relationship more if we live in separate homes, separate our finances, and don't feel obligated to make this relationship work for life. Being a wife feels like a job with no time off and no option to try something else out for a while! #frustrated
 
Replied By: kat731 on Jul 14, 2011, 7:54PM - In reply to drphil100xcx
Dang, what a history. Your business must be in the Government.
Flying around in private jets, making lots of money, and "manic".

Wow, my life really is dull.
 
Replied By: carolusa on Jul 14, 2011, 7:36PM
I totally understand how the first man could "no longer want to be married," yet not have a girlfriend.  I was suprised that Dr Phil didn't understand him.  If he did understand he would understand that a "girlfriend" is what he wants to escape (via a divorce.)

I married at 45 and 7 years later I was sooo ready to live alone again.

I will never live with anyone else if there is any possiblee way to avoid it.

24/7 is smothering and restriction, marriage for me was not what everyone said it was, it was "putting up with someone" every day, I love my ex and always will were non speaking friends because we moved on.  I feel bad but marriage is not for everyone.  So why can't you understand that.

The 2nd woman, as many young people are (lied to, by being) told that marriage is forever and the first step to adulthood.  Thats the true reason for divorced it's based on a lie.

First children need to adjust to adulthood before marriage in order to be ready for making the choice of IF marriage is right for you.
 
Replied By: kat731 on Jul 14, 2011, 7:36PM
I think people can go through a midlife crisis. Ref. the first couple, Tony & Jill, I think Jill  should let Tony have his divorce since he seems to be determined. At this point she loves him exclusively, but  she should tell him that if she should meet someone else, he needs to be prepared to accept the fact that he may not always be number one in her life.
Ref. the second couple, Elaine & Miles. Elaine is acting like a spoiled teenager. Tony & Jill do not have young children to consider, if they hurt anyone, it will be themselves, and they are adults, but Elaine has two young children that did not ask to be brought into this world. She has been, and is, tearing their lives apart just so she can feel desired, have have a new thrill. To bad she didn't think of that before she brought them into this world. She owes it to her children to put their needs before her "desires". I didn't get the message that Miles was physically or mentally abusive to her. Of course, he is going to be unhappy, or snappy, as she puts it. If my mate had not kissed me for four years and was having an affair, I would be a lot worse than snappy. Elaine needs to get her head out of the proverbial dark spot.
 
Replied By: mscapp on Jul 14, 2011, 5:19PM
I'm pretty sure I'm still in the middle of my "mid-life crisis."  Three years ago I did not want to be married any longer.  I was no longer attracted to my husband.  I did not enjoy spending time with him.  We had not been intimate for almost two years. He turned into the cheapest man on the planet.  He is 15 years older than I am, and i simply did not want to retire at 60 (12 years out in 2008) after taking care of everyone's kids for over 30 years (I'm a teacher) and then get to take care of a 75 year old man.  Nope, not for me.  We're divorced now.  I'm happier without him, but still not content. I have dated, but have not found one person who I can begin thinking about in serious terms.  I can honestly say that I don't think I was or am in a  crisis nor did I make excuses.  I fell out of love.  I work hard and I wanted to have fun, not just sit around the house. I was completely selfish not wanting to care for him in his old age, and I know I would not have cared if I loved him.  Unless a person has gone through a situation similar to those of the guests, it's hard to judge.  I could go on with how vindictive the husband became, which confirms that I did make the right decision.
 
Replied By: iluvmycop2day on Jul 14, 2011, 5:12PM - In reply to ljnorris
I did grasp the fact that the husband did say he married out of pressure. Sometimes we are not honest with ourselves until we get older and maybe like Dr. Phil said, feel a little like life  is passing us by and maybe since we gave our entire lives to everyone else, it's time for his ME time. He wants out as nicely as he can do it with his wife and she needs to accept it an move on. I think he want to explore other options and they don't include her completely. I'm sure the reality that she too will move on from him scares him a little bit and that's why he is still straggling on to his wife, but as time goes by, they both are better off.  There is so much not seen or said when it comes to this marriage so we must respect the fact that he is done with the marriage at this point. I would suggest personal counsel for him on a individual basis before he moves on to make a intelligent and well thought out decision, but like Dr. Phil says, you can't fix what you don't acknowledge. 

Thanks friends for reading my blog. 
 
Replied By: laurakltj on Jul 14, 2011, 4:39PM
I don't think any of these people are having mid-life crisis. I think that they don't want to be married anymore. They are being ridiculous. If someone doesn't want to be with you then why waste your time. For the first couple I think that they should stay friends with benefits. She isn't leaving him and he likes the way the relationship is.
 
Showing 1-10 of total 105 Comments