2011 Shows

(Original Air Date: 03/01/11) Dr. Phil's guests say that their partner is getting a little too close for comfort with someone else, and it’s putting their relationship in jeopardy. Aaron, 22, and Rickie, 23, have dated for two years and even share a baby daughter, but Aaron is incensed at Rickie’s friendship with her co-worker, Josh. Rickie says Josh is the only one she can turn to when times get rough between her and Aaron. Find out what happens when Aaron and Josh meet for the first time on the Dr. Phil stage! Is Josh just a friend, or does he want more? Plus, Andy and Tommy say they are soul mates, but Tommy’s jealous behavior is threatening to end it all. Can Dr. Phil ease the envy before it combusts these relationships?

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: squijeelulu on Dec 8, 2011, 8:44PM
2 scenarios:- Firstly, when I was in my twentys, I worked very closely with a group of 4 people in the head office of a large bank, where we socialised at lunches and Fridays after work. We worked very smoothly and efficiently as a team, thus being very productive and always receiving praise. we were so tight, that spending 8 hours together 5 days a week , we read each other's moods and understood each other emotionally on a much more intimate level than any spouse would or could understand, given that the spouse, overall spent less time with those same people. This made it very easy for each of us to create bonds and confide in each other. We comprised of 3 women and 4 men plus our manager. I ended up having an affair with one of the married men, and one of the married women had an affair with one of the other married men, and one engaged man had an affair with one of the women in the office, whilst we still maintained our relationships outside of the bank.

Secondly, I was volunteering a few years ago, as secretary for a club, whilst my partner was vice president. I suspected and it turned out to be true, that my partner was having an affair with one of the committee members, when I would take time out for home chores and he would volunteer for extra curricular duties that I either didn't have time for, or didn't enjoy, or wasn't physically able to do.

When I confronted him with my suspicions, he accused me of being paranoid and mental, and insisted that I get help. Much later on, we had an ongoing argument about a family issue, where I insisted that he leave my house and announce publicly that we have split, or I would not co-operate with his requests.

He came home after making his announcement, and when I asked him about how the members of the club reacted, he actually said they weren't surprised because they had noticed he had shown more interest in and attention to this other woman than myself. Needless to say, I responded with "so I'm not insane or paranoid........" to which he sheepishly answered, that's right.

The outcome was that I contacted this woman, told her that my partner admitted to me what was going on, and that she should find him a place to live. She responded with an admission that this had been an ongoing thing for the previous 3 to 4  years and his moving out would be best for all concerned, and that she had been giving him advice about where to live, but the final decision was his, and the best she could do was give him advice. You can imagine my anger, so I said 'hire a trailer and move him into your house!"!!!!!!!!! 

  He came home from wherever he was that day and announced that she wanted him to live with her, so he was moving out that evening.

Replied By: mtmom68 on Jul 21, 2011, 10:12PM - In reply to grannybon
And jealousy is brought on by insecurity within ourselves and not necessarily with the fact that our partner has a friendship with the opposite gender.
Replied By: mtmom68 on Jul 21, 2011, 10:08PM
I have never heard such a crock as what Phil said during this segment.  For him to be so accusatory towards the woman was beyond the pale.  He was more concerned about her being friends with a man, who might have other ideas, than he was that the boyfriend was displaying signs of an abuser. 

Not only did the boyfriend hit the girlfriend, but he is also trying to alienate her from family and friends.  Both signs of an abusive partner.  Wonder what he did/said to convince her to have a baby before they were truly ready, i.e., married.  Lord I hope they don't get married.  Unfortunately, she's stuck with him.

Doesn't change the fact that Phil was way off base in this segment.  Makes one wonder if he's truly as secure as he appears to be if he's afraid that his wife might have a close meaningful relationship with someone of the opposite sex that is based on nothing more than friendship and be a better wife for it.  Everything he asked of the woman, would have been acceptable if her friend was a woman.  So why not a man?  All I can do is shake my head at the worthless double standard. 

Perhaps Phil is the one who has the problem and not the woman.  Usually he is so on the ball.  Disappointing!
Replied By: missara on Jul 21, 2011, 7:54PM
She so badly wants to be with Josh - all that pretend confusion as to "why can't I be with my best friend" - that's b.s.  Get some GIRL friends and all that will stop.  Either that or leave and go be with him.  Dr Phil is right, they are on the fast track to an affair.  Pretty obvious.
Replied By: wildflower55 on Jul 21, 2011, 8:54AM
I think that men and women can have an intimate friendship with out it becoming a sexual thing.  Most of the posting of people saying it isn't possible are when the people have previously dated.  I have been in a committed relationship for almost 3 years and I have friends of the opposite sex that I go hang out with when my boyfriend is away.  He knows all my friends and has developed relationships with them as well.  My friends became our mutual friends.  I've never dated any of these guys and have know them all for over five years.  There are no problems at all.  I know and my boyfriend knows that I will never have an affair with any of them.
Replied By: cheerchief on Jul 21, 2011, 4:39AM
Married or committed men and women cannot share an intimate friendship.  It's inevitable that things will go too far.  In my case, after 42 years of marriage, my husband reconnected with the woman he dated prior to me in high school.  She is now his "confidant" and they both have email accounts that I cannot access in order to talk into the wee hours of the morning.  He shares everything with her even the details of our marriage counseling sessions that we began after she resurfaced.  It all started over the  high school reunion plans when she told my husband that she had been dealing with an "issue" concerning the 3 of us since high school.  The issue was that he started dating me.  The things that he shares with her and discusses with her are the things he should be sharing with me.  They even read "The 5 Love Languages Together" and now he is convinced that he has always needed more and she's providing it.  So, the short answer is "no"......men and women cannot be intimate friends without someone getting hurt.  In this case, it's me.
Replied By: luvdoc on Jul 20, 2011, 8:42PM
I was glad to see this show again. I have struggled with my boyfriends relationship with younger girls he claims are just friends. There seems to be one younger married one in particular of which he refusues to give up the relationship with. She's in her 20's and married with children. They constantly text, call, and meet for dinner and drinks. I had decided it was something I wasn't willing to live with and then found out I was pregnant. We talked to a counselor about it who said both he and I are justifiable in our feelings, however; upon my questioning her as to if she would tolerate this from her boyfriend/husband, her answer was no. When I try to address my feelings with him on the subject he tells me that I'm trying to be controlling by making him give up his friends. The statement is untrue as I have never interferred with his guy time. I feel disrespected and unimportant and now that I'm pregnant I'm feeling stuck. I'm wondering if thered be much of a loss to me to set him free? I feel like he'd be missing out on so much of the pregnancy, but I guess by the way he is acting and how he actually only makes a point to see me a couple of times a week, I really would only probably be giving up the additional stress. I'm terribly afraid that i am going to get the the point of being so resentful of his inconsideration towards me that I won't be able to forgive him if he does come around. It's a very hard situation for me and I don't feel understood or important to him. It feels awful and I'm afraid its effecting many aspects of my life.
Does anyone suggest that I: a) Struggle through it during the pregnancy   b)Break it off now, as the hurt is so bad, I feel this stress is not good for the baby or I
c) Talk to her husband? 
I am actually depressed over the inconsideration of this and really need help in knowing what to do as I'm feeling rather stuck now with the onset of the pregnancy. Mind you this man is in his 40's and the young married woman in her late 20's. I don't feel they are messing around, but I do feel what they are doing is "dating" no matter how its camoflauged. It also seems he is always taking whatever she has to say as gospel and belittles me for speaking my feelings on the subject. I feel so unimportant and disrespected and really need some good advice.
Replied By: sheshdwild on Jul 20, 2011, 8:11PM
I do think men, & women can be just friend's, BUT only if there both singal, I met 2 guy's through personal ad's, (actually met one of them twice, as he said I scared the hell out of him the first time around) we shared 1 thing in common Harley's. We wnet riding togeather, dancing togeather, we had a blast, i have a pic, of the two of them togeather on a night out, but as soon as a women came into the picture (for them not me) it all went to crap because of the jealousy, & not on my part. I had no issue's with them having girlfriend's, however they could not believe we were just friend's, even when I met someone they both acted like big brother's, had to meet the guy, took him a side gave him 'THE TALK' etc, & I told the new guy that he better think hard about if he could deal with my friendship, cause if he couldn't, there would be no relationship! i had been friend's with these guy's for a couple of year's, & they were just to important to me to let someone, anyone come between that, I only wish they had felt the same, people come, & go specially the oppsite sex, but REAL FRIEND'S are hard to find!
Replied By: grannybon on Jul 20, 2011, 8:02PM
I worked in a predominately male environment over 30 years....most of my friends are male...I have been retired 12 years and I am still in contact with most of them.  I also have met or talked to all of their wives and there is no problem from anyone.  There has never been anything but respect to all parties. 

I have been divorced many years and am not looking for a relationship....I think when everyone is on the up and up there can be friendship....I believe when there is insecurity there lies the problem of jealousy.
Replied By: duchess675 on Jul 20, 2011, 8:00PM
I think that many think that men and women can just be friends and for a little while that might be true but as people get closer to one another things will change...men are physical beings and women are emotional beings...this is general not a perfect rule...when you are in a commited reliationship with someone there are limits to what you should talk about with others outside of your relationship.  If you are having problems...you for sure don't go running to a person of the opposite sex.  You should always first try to work things out with your partner, if that does not work, try counceling.  You could also turn to family as long as they are not the type of people that become so involved that it causes problems.  Turning to a friend of the same sex is also an option as long as you once again set limits as to how much they are involved in the solution.  Because of the way men and women express their feelings, their emotions...it is hard for them to keep from eventually becoming attracted or connected in an intimate way that is not appropriate...even if the other person you are confiding in is gay and not attracted to the opposite sex...intimacy like that can and will cause problems within any relationship.  You cannot fix a problem with your partner by taking those issue to someone else who cannot be objective and neutural...someone who is your "best friend" is not going to be objective or neutural and least of all helpful.
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