Sign up for the Dr. Phil Newsletter
Twitter Facebook YouTube

2011 Shows

 
(Original Air Date: 02/14/11) Each day, too many young girls live in fear for their lives and safety due to obsessive, controlling and abusive boyfriends, and Dr. Phil is determined to give them a voice! As part of his campaign to End the Silence on Domestic Violence, Dr. Phil introduces 17-year-old Samantha who recently sent him an urgent plea for help. Samantha claims that since breaking up with her boyfriend, Aaron, he has been sending threatening text messages and calling her nonstop. She says that when she changed her number, he began calling her mother repeatedly. Samantha says he also showed up at her house and pounded on the door, while she cowered in a locked closet. She says she’s afraid Aaron could even kill her. Dr. Phil sits down with the two teens to help Samantha get her message to Aaron loud and clear. And, Tiffany, 20, has a cautionary tale of survival every teen needs to hear. Sit down and watch this show with your teen daughter to show her that love is not abuse. It could save her life!

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: delo49 on Aug 15, 2011, 4:04PM
I was wondering if Erin really left Samantha alone when she went home? I certainly hope so, but I don't think he will. I would really like to see an update on this show. It was extremely interesting....
 
Replied By: loriehr on Aug 10, 2011, 9:17PM
I just wanted to compliment Jessica. I watched the show today and was so impressed with her courage.  I was in an abusive relationship for 20 years.  I was 42 before I was strong enough to file for a divorce.  She was so eloquent in her statements not only to Dr Phil but also to her boyfriend.  She gave me so much encouragement because after 7 years of divorce I continue to get sucked in to his controlling ways.  I even was living in a dangerous environment while I worked as a Family Support Worker for 10 years and assisted other women and teens to get out of abusive relationships.  This was my dirty little secret.  I still struggle with guilt and humiliation over what was happening in my own home.  I only wish I could have the kind of courage that Jessica has and I hope she is doing Ok. 
 
Replied By: ksaldanha on Aug 10, 2011, 6:49PM
Having time to watch some TV today after seeing Cold Case Files and then seeing this show started me thinking about the dangerousness of men.  I am not trying to make a generalization, because I know as women we have allowed a lot of misery into our lives, but at the same time you can't ignore how out of control men seem to be.  This is not an indictment of all men.  My husband (a very kind man), hates the bad name many men give to all men and wishes it was not so.  To give you some back story on how I got so emotionally upset with watching these 2 shows today, I need to tell you about some statistics I heard recently and tell you that the episode of Cold Case files I watched today was about an abductor rapist killer that abducted raped and killed a lot of young women.  Recently I heard a couple of statistics that blew my mind.  I heard that the leading cause of death for pregnant women in the US was murder, not childbirth or it's complications and not car accidents.  Then shortly after that I head a statistic of a specific age group for women in the US, (I think I am close with the age 21 to 45), that their leading cause of death was murder, not car accidents or illness.  What is going on?  Rapist, child abusers, serial killers clearly rests with men.  How can we evolve with this insanity?  Please weigh in.
 
Replied By: pakaren on Aug 10, 2011, 5:30PM
Great show and Samatha was remarkable in her confidence, revelations and insight. As a professional who got myself into a what could be defined as "abusive" relationship I want to share that the best way to really describe how it 'begins' is addiction.   We get 'taught' that 'real love' is about bells and whistles - butterflies - and physical sensations - and it isn't love unless we are feeling that level of intensity.  When that chemical reaction is surging in our bodies it is truly a drug like state - when two people are feeling similar -it can easily become obsessive - as it really feels good.  Unfortunately the obsession/ addiction becomes controlling - as you want the fix to be maintained and fear the possible withdrawal -whether consciously or subconsciously commands you to stay despite any common sense saying otherwise.   If the relationship becomes abusive (mine was verbal only but the person had absolute ability and potential to harm and kill - that was enough) the chemical surges switch from 'love' to 'fear' - but our bodies experiences both the same - and with isolation you become dependent on that one person giving you the 'fix'  -whether with positive or negative feedback.   When it ended it was a true drug like withdrawal physically - mentally -emotionally - that can't be related to unless you truly experience it - but compare it to heroin.  It wasn't until I gave myself real distance that I could see what really happened and when I share my experience with others - they identify with the same reactions.   The sad part is you want that 'rush' of so called 'love' again - like an addict but learn that healthy love is not so 'drug like' - it is calm - stable- and absent of fear or risk.  And you learn to get your 'rush' from motorcycles - roller coasters and safer recreational activities! I'm glad that they encouraged Aaron to seek addiction counseling - because that is what was really beneath the surface of his obsessive behavior.    Good job to all!!
 
Replied By: lica1976 on Aug 10, 2011, 5:19PM
i would like to see an episode where the abused woman/teen or whatever is unable to see that she is in an abusive relationship, and Dr Phil helps her understand her situation....I think that kind of show would help the women at home who are in the same situation....or men! some men may not know they are abusive...and some men may be in abusive relationships on the recieving end...not as common, but it does happen
 
Replied By: lica1976 on Aug 10, 2011, 5:10PM - In reply to cniesen
I got the same impression...I was unsure about her actual motives...but if its true i wish her all the best, if not, that is on her now i guess. It took me a long time to get where she was at...i was scared of him and not willing to upset him further...every car looked like his and scared me...i didnt see him again for a year, and had my confidence back to talk to him...but every one is different so who knows
 
Replied By: lica1976 on Aug 10, 2011, 5:06PM
I am a person who has been abused in past relationships, i am 35 years old and have been through some crappy things. I got married quite young and made some bad choices that led up to me being married to an abusive man. I left that situation and was in another bad relationship that was only about as violent as the girl I saw in the show. it is easy to look from the outside and say, u should have left, whats wrong with u. but its different from the inside. the abuse always has an excuse and its easy to make excuses for your abuser because u love him and dont want to leave. If u are going into a relationship, look for the signs...which im sure dr phil could point out. if u are in an abusive relationship and want to get out, find a support system to leave, dont try on your own. If u have been in an abusive relationship...try to get counselling to find out how u can change yourself into someone who is not attracted to this type. that is what i am doing now. Its ok to be alone for a while and learn to love yourself and educate yourself about the signs and how great u are and how much u deserve to be treated with love, control and abuse are not love, but stem from selfishness. If you are young...or old...ask yourself how much of your life are you willing to give up to pain, abuse, and hopelessness. It wont be easy, but its easier than being abused. being alone may not be easy...but its easier than being abused. my heart goes with all women being treated badly and i hope that at least one more finds the strength to leave. I left because i thought I wasnt good enough to stay...thats how messed up the mind of an abused women can be. I dont know you women, but I love u because u r human just like me....and I believe in u....leave because it will escalate as it goes on longer. I do understand. if u have children...leave for their sake, dont stay for their sake....they need to grow up around love and learn from your self confidence, setting an example that they dont deserve to be treated like this, and u dont want them to learn its ok to treat others like this. this will help them so much more than not having a broken family. If u have to be alone for a while...i suggest desperate housewives and supernatural.....with no man telling u that u cant do it. go on a vacation, treat yourself like the beautiful woman u r and feel your freedom and that will help u I wish u all the luck in the world...please give those teens the help they need to stay out of future bad relationships as well as the one they have already escaped
 
Replied By: lysanalin on Aug 10, 2011, 4:36PM
if she had simply demonstrated the respect she is demanding  and explained why she needed to end things ~ this all would have never escaladed to this level. Communication diffuses frutration and he would have moved on months ago had it been handled well. Of course it is not correct to choke anyone ~   however if it was recognized as time to leave after love, talking with an adult near by or something would have been much smarter.
 
Replied By: shel89 on Aug 10, 2011, 3:11PM
your story is so like my oun.... but you did one thing i did not. you got away...... i spent 3 years with my abusive x. praying it would chance but tarrified to leave.......one day i saw the light and saw that i hat to get away...... not for my self but for my then 2 month old son..... bless you for having the strenght to leave. i wish i had.. now i  too live in consistant fear that he will find us and hurt us.
 
Replied By: cniesen on Aug 10, 2011, 2:19PM - In reply to liltonka
I totally agree with the comments regarding how this was handled! why tramatize this boy in humiliation. Yeah I know he may have to her, which I dont see, but two wrongs dont make a right and now hes angrier!
 
Showing 1-10 of total 108 Comments