2011 Shows

(Original Air Date: 01/24/11) What causes some rational women to choose risky lifestyles? Dr. Phil, along with PR maven and Dr. Phil special contributor Kelly Cutrone, examines the lives of two ladies heading down a path of self-destruction. Jennifer has a life that many women might envy — a lovely home, devoted husband and three beautiful children. But the 25-year-old stay-at-home mom says her world isn’t as fabulous as it seems. Jennifer says she spends her days bingeing and purging and exercising excessively — doing as many as 9,000 crunches a day — and she now weighs only 78 pounds. Her husband, Chris, says he feels powerless to help her, and he worries that she may die soon. What’s at the root of Jennifer’s disorder, and will she reach out for help before it’s too late? Then, Jen says she’s contemplating entering a controversial profession for money. Learn what it is and why Jen’s situation brings Kelly Cutrone to tears. Plus, Ashley Dupree, the woman at the center of the Eliot Spitzer prostitution scandal, weighs in.

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: tasland on Aug 16, 2011, 11:42AM
I watched this show and Dr.Phil's liason cried over this woman's delemna? I cried, and cried myself!!! I have lost a husband, a house, now my car and cannot even get public assistance because I have two TV's, two computers and a pure bred English Bulldog!! Why? Because a young man wasn't paying attention and hit me from behind in 2009. I have been disabled since; deiagnosed with reflex sympathetic distrophy, and the system and insurance companies (in the business to make money, not pay money) treat me like I'm faking and am a low life bottom sucker!!!

I feel this woman's pain, don't get me wrong. All I'm saying is there are people out there who have it sooo much worse! I haven't once thought of selling myself to make ends meet. Instead, I'm working dilligently to gain faith that everything will work as it is supposed to. Someone said to me "You're going through growing pains", and that is what I choose to believe. I'm at a bottom, and there is nowhere to go but up!

<3 Terri
Replied By: alexapostolo on Aug 16, 2011, 1:59AM
ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOR: A type of elementary behaviour which becomes repetitive and therefore produces highly enjoyable feelings:

NEGATIVE FEELINGS: Are feelings which we as a society consider negative, such as shame, guilt, hatred, aloneness, anger, pain, depression, awkwardness, etc.;

CONSCIOUSNESS “Free Will / Choice”: Provides us with free will, we can choice and have choices of our own due to our consciousness. Consciousness is usually always tangible things relating to our senses (what we can touch, see, taste, smell and hear);

SUB-CONSCIOUSNESS “Our Higher Power”: This is the innocence within all of us, our child within, our curiosity, our playfulness our true self which is unbounding and goes beyond this earth and all our senses. It is also directly connected with our consciousness, as we make choices our “innocent child” must deal with the consequences of any action we chose;

FEAR “Fight or Flight”: This emotion is here to stop us from dying and getting seriously hurt, it is here to prevent unnecessary pain from the tangible “our consciousness” although is at the same time the cause for much of the pain, problems and issues that everyone on earth faces on varying levels.

DENIAL: An intuitive system based within our sub-conscience designed to protect our soul, our childlike innocence from pain. A disbelieve of reality (what is tangible), a deep sub-conscience block or wall is created in order protect us from perceived pain and/or attack.

EGO: An intuitive system based within our conscience mind designed to engage to protect our consciousness from pain and/or attack. A conscience fictional story of our lives, like ‘it would be nice if it were’ begins to emerge into greater depth of an imaginary fairy tale of life begins to form.

It is easy to understand and realise how the tangible can harm us, someone walking in the opposite direction of you, in a back allay at night, you can see them, hear them, maybe even smell them and you can see the potential risk to your safety. If in this scenario the person was walking from behind you your fear would normally be heightened as we cannot see the person until we turn around. Although when the attack is an untangentable one, one created in only our minds and it cannot be seen, heard or felt. It is the reason for us as humans to have such an issue with our unseen fears, requiring to be conquered. How do you protect yourself against something that isn’t there, this battle began in our bedrooms as children with the boggy monster, fears of the dark, phobias, repetitive behaviours including compulsive disorders and many other disorders and conditions which people have been unable to find the cure for or the understanding required in order to resolve.

What I believe occurs is outlined as follows:

A person suffering from an addictive behaviour, brain functions test should show that when a person is undertaking an addictive behaviour only a very focused area of their brain is being utilised and due to the behaviours remedial and repetitive sequence, this action can be done easily by our brain and while this is occurring the part of your brain which is usually utilised for normal processes is in effect being turned off while undertaking the addictive behaviour. The part of our brain which is no longer being used encompasses the emotional control of our guilt, shame, embarrassment, shyness and pain, in other words our “negative emotions”.

“”The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is in the front half of the brain. It is responsible for our focus, planning, impulse control, emotional control, empathy, judgment and insight. Healthy activity in the PFC leads to conscientiousness, thoughtfulness and a goal-oriented personality. If the PFC is low in activity, it can make a person disorganized, easily distracted and sometimes antisocial. On the other hand, if the PFC is overworked, it can cause anxiety, inflexibility and impulsiveness.””

Taken from “What Part of the Brain Controls Emotions?” By Om Paramapoonya, eHow Contributor updated March 28, 2011

Even though we as a society we consider these ‘negative emotions’ as negative, this plays a large hindrance in our recovery. We as a society should aim to have less negative and more positive in our lives in order to be happy, right?

Wrong, these negative emotions are there for a good reason and are paramount in order to maintain a healthy balance in life. Can you imagine not having shame or guilt, what would stop us all from doing incredibly stupid, selfish things, without any sense of remorse for our actions or the effect on others of our actions (empathy). Or if we didn’t have pain, we wouldn’t be able to feel when things were too hot or cold, when we have used a shovel with a nail in the handle and not realized until our hands are cut to shreds and pieces of flesh are coming off your bones. Simply goggle ‘cipa’ to see hundreds as stories of the consequence for these people which cannot feel pain. Every emotion has its purpose and it is health to be able to realize and accept this.

QUESTION: Is it that the drugs or addictive behavior is creating pleasure by a neurochemical reaction in our brains or is it that actually the drug is blocking the frontal lobe (negative emotions parts of the brain) which in turn providing the high as we no longer have to deal with the warning our brain was trying to send us, that something is wrong. Better known as a river in Africa, Denial.

It now looks more like relieve rather than pleasure or a high that we actually experience. We therefore live in the knowledge that we have to short circuit our brains by undertaking an addictive behavior in other to not have to deal with an issue/problem once we denial system is overloaded and overstressed. Why would we choose to do this? Because of fear; fear of the unknown; the unseen; the unheard; the greatest fear of all, the fear of the intangible.

Therefore what is happening to us is that:

Negative Emotion Created in our conscience awareness (’x’)

Until it is no longer a single conscience thought instead a continual persistent thought

The greater concern is that this emotion is multiplied by a 100 fold as it enters our untangentable childlike sub-conscience.

Within our sub-conscience this Negative Emotion Resides, Builds, Manifests and Festers (‘x100’)

It feels to be a continual, unrelenting, unstoppable battle and with any perceived attack no matter if tangible or not (based in reality or otherwise) our fear defenses kick in to either fight or flight.

It is only when the battle feels like it has been going on forever and it is hopeless to continue living a false untrue life and even after our natural defenses have also had enough being denial and our ego.

Denial worked to ensure that our sub-conscience, our childlike innocence does not get hurt any more than is required or able to deal with, by reducing the impact by altering ones perception of reality.

Ego works to ensure that our reality is altered sufficiently in order to be able to handle the increasingly heavy burden that is perceived to be created by our fear.

In essence the emotion has triggered a fear response within us and we do as we have done for millions of years in order to survive, Flight run away from it (and potentially becoming an addict) or stand up to it (the emotion) and continue fighting.

The problem with this and the problem with our society is that the emotion/feeling to differing degrees cause us all to flee/flight at some point, in the majority of cases, at least everyone that I know has some level of unhealthy release (Addictive Behavior).

Escape from reality no matter what the source is, in the beginning it works although as our sub-conscience becomes accustomed to what to expect, we need to either go deeper into a fictional world or deal with it (fight it) please note this is where I believe that many currently untreatable diseases stems from including schizophrenia and many other mood disorders.

We perceive what we have is freedom and free will, while many of us are actually prisoners in our own minds.

It is the addictive behavior that is turning off these negative emotions/feelings, which in turn provides us feel momentarily relieved, this escaping reality is what is so addictive, not the drug or addictive behavior itself. We feel like a weight has been lifted off our shoulders if only for a few minutes or hours.

What we need to realize in order to allow ourselves to actually finally help ourselves, as we have been trying to do throughout this whole process. Is that the intangible fears stopping us from repairing the wounds of our innocent child-like self’s.

What needs to be done in order to resolve all negative emotions and events from your sub-conscience is to firstly allow that innocent child within you to speak, provide them a voice, they have been holding onto far too much for too long believing that it has been protecting you and now that you realize that fear of the intangible is simply conjured feared, it has been only in your mind and the reason it was there was for your consciousness in order to stay alive and not you’re your sub-conscience as we have been using it for.

Every step of the way, we have been protecting ourselves from something else and it has been our free will which has been stuffed it/self-destroying/self-sabotaging any action we have been trying to take to help ourselves out. I suppose when our child-like innocent has had to carry so much of our rubbish for us, for so long, it is inevitable that we would end up attacking ourselves.

The more you allow your child-like innocence to fully open up (without fear of rejection or anything negative from the listener including being critical or judgmental) the more faster your soul will be healed and you can be free.

You can simply start by listing items/events that have occurred to you or you have been holding onto; start with an easy one, as our natural instinct will still be to flee (change of topic created in mind). Once you begin and you see for yourselves that the healing begins as soon as you begin writing out your list, which is the 2nd step.

The final step for tonight anyway, is learning to be compassionate in order to forgive yourself. The easiest way to forgive yourself is by practicing on others, as you forgive others you will more easily be able to forgive yourself, the more you give to others the more you actually give to yourself. It is as if we need to consciously take the action, in order for our sub-conscience to follow. I personally have been working through these steps myself and I realize that it is much easier once you have someone on your side to assist you with the basicness of staying on top of it and dedicating time per week at a minimum in order to work out your list and practice ways of releasing yourself from the prison you have created in your mind, this will also allow you communicate much easier with your higher power and once you have your higher self on your side rather then fighting it, answers you come to you freely when you least expect in and if you have not dreamt for a while, I assure you that you will begin to remember your dreams again and you will be on the path of true happiness and contentment.

Dreams are when our sub-conscience is at its full power, able to work things out much faster and easier than our conscience mind is able to, be sure to go with it, our problem has been that we have spent we much time fighting what has been there to help us all along. Stop fighting yourself and you will again be like that innocent child we once were, we all deserve this, no matter what we have done in the past. We all deserve to be happy, including me.

I will post this blog now, as I promised myself that I would before I go to bed, apologies for any errors or emissions, will fix up when next have some spare time. Please feel free to add any of your own thoughts and/or opinions as you please. I have now realized that I don’t have to do everything perfectly as we are all imperfect.

And finally, that it is better to climb a mountain following someone else’s path until to get to the point where no man has been before you, then you can create your own path.
Replied By: emmakkempf on Aug 15, 2011, 5:19PM
I watched part of the show and felt very sorry for both the husband & wife and, of course the children.  They are always the innocent ones.  I have a family member that suffers, in part, with yhe young ladies ailments and her parents are beside themselves.  They do not know whether to enable her or just throw up their hands in despair.  he has good days and bad days so that the parents have had to cancel social and vacaation plans.  She is currently looking for a job, but with the job market being what it is jobs are not that plentiful.  In the meantime ,her parents must cover her medial bills along with providing a roof over her head.  Life is not easy for them and now my sister is facing surgery at the end of the month.
Replied By: kakakakakakak1 on Aug 15, 2011, 2:36PM
This is so so so so um this so bad there are no words to explain how bad this is . I am so so so so so so sorrey for the kids , husbin and the mom it is just WOW
Replied By: kakakakakakak1 on Aug 15, 2011, 2:24PM
DR.Phill she is lucky you are going to help her she must be insane to think she is going to be fat she needs to get fat so she can be safe and have a good life with her husbinand her kids  .
Replied By: phulax on Aug 15, 2011, 2:23PM
Dr. Phil's last comment on the today's show: "The economy is cyclical. It will recover." Meant to be encouraging, but Dr. Phil is no economist, nor is he a prophet.. And the probability is, in fact, that he is actually very mistaken......
Replied By: eliseevans on Aug 15, 2011, 1:05PM
if miss dupree is so remorseful for having been an escort and for being exposed as a social "criminal", then why did she pose for the cover of playboy early last year? that was months and months after she was exposed and only furthered her degradation.
Replied By: lady1043 on Aug 15, 2011, 12:51PM
Dear Dr. Phil,
Today's show was near and dear to my heart since, my daughter Jennifer has an eating disorder and sounds just like the Jennifer who is on today's show.  My daughter has 5 children and that is all she does is occupy her mind with the fact that she sees herself fat.  She told me she looks in the mirror and shes a fat person.  Last week her husband took the scale out of the house so she can't weigh herself.  I told him to take all the mirrors out as well but, he did not do that.  Dr. Phil my heart is broken especially since, she just gave her Father her kidney such a selfless thing to do then she doesn't eat or eats and vomits.  How could she give the gift of life to my husband and is killing herself please Dr. Phil can you help my girl she wants help but, doesn't know what to do?  I believe if my daughter does not get help she is going to die.  I lost a daughter when she was 6 1/2 years old I don't think at age 67 I could go through losing another child.
Replied By: maryellingon on Aug 14, 2011, 6:55PM
I am one of these women and have suffered from depression my entire life...now i am on probation for one Risky wrong decision
Replied By: rotorhead71 on Aug 14, 2011, 9:33AM
My question is, and I'm honestly NOT trying to sound demeaning or distasteful to anyone, but it seems to me, from twenty-five years of observation -since I became an adult- that women are naturally self-destructive, regardless of the upbringing they've had, or the empowerment they have earned.  It SEEMS to me that many women prefer to be abused by a man, or to abuse themselves.

Do women in our modern day feel it's necessary to destroy themselves because of a "natural" feeling they don't deserve the lives they have, or don't deserve better than what they have?  I think this is actually at the heart of why women will argue with a man until they are blue in the face, whether figuratively or actually.  Now, while I believe that every woman, just like every man, should find their own limitations, and then live within them, striving only for what they believe they can attain, women should learn that they can have better, and they can have really good lives if they will just calm down and stop beating themselves up over tiny little things.

If I get too much further into explanation, I will confound myself and really insult someone.
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