I don't need a paper or a party to commit myself, why should you marry?

I don't understand the eager to get married at all, I've been with my men for about 10 years, he was the first man in my live, I'm his first girlfriend (we were around the 30 year). You can commit without a paper very much. We waited with giving ourselves (for about 3 years, so it is not true that people who live together necessary sleep together) until we were sure that, he/she is the only one.

After 8 years we married because of financial reasons, we were about to emigrate and in that country it was the best in case something would happen to one of us. Otherwise we were stille together, not bein married. Does it feel different? no, in no way. I've kept my name, he kept his name, nothing changed, we are as committed as we always were. Our moral hasn't changed a bit, our moral is high, was high and will be high.

A wedding doesn't have to cost much, it's what you want to spend. I don't know what the costs are in America, I hear about the same. Low budget: only hire the official, have you're witnesses and ready you are! I didn't want a dress, we want to get married and take the bike afterwards to get to work.  To avoid much people we married outside the country, where my husband is been born, the few people who got along, paid there own hotel etc (we didn't ask them to come) , we paid the food on that day, I made a dress for the show and it was about 2000 euro's, including the trip, costs at the embassy, and two weeks vacation afterwards. The same vacation as we have done before. Afterwards a little reception, made the food ourselves, at work.

It's only a paper and if you don't need one, its okay, if you need one, it doesn't have to be that expensive.
If someone doesn't want to merry, why should he/she? I really don't understand!! I don't understand people who make a point of that.

I am not a "runaway bride" but I have been engaged for over 10 years to the same man and I am very happy. I have all the same benefits that a wife has I just dont have his name nor do I want it. We dont have any particular reason for not getting married  just dont want to do it. I have had people ask me " why cant you get him to marry you" I tell them I dont wanna marry him. that usually shuts them up. we have no plans to get married in the future and love each other just as a married couple do.

My husband and I have a game that called "We are divorce proof".

We prepare a list of points that we can increase or decrease our divorce proof list.

Everything we do increase or decrease our points.  For instance, chores around the house doesn't have a lot worth but it do have some.  On the other hand, all other things that we do for each other counts.

We are always trying to improve our divorce proof points.  It is a fun game and brings a lot of joy.

You should try it.
Sandy

While I was watching your show today I was thinking about the sort of wedding I'd want if a man came along who'd want to marry me, and my priorities have changed with the passage of time.  When I was younger I dreamed of the fairy tale wedding.  You know, the gown with a long train and all the trimmings, but no man was around back then, and I wasn't going to do things the wrong way around if for no other reason than that I couldn't afford it.  These days, the wedding would be short on trimmings like gowns and jewellry--an engagement ring fine, but not too busy, and a wedding ring--and longer on food.  I'd want to spend enough on food to have all the people I love around me to share this day with my groom and I.  The wedding gown you only wear once, but the memories of a beautiful ceremony is something you can share with all those who witnessed it.  I've come to realize over the years that life is all about relationships, and it's more important to invest in those than in trappings like a diamond necklace or matching earrings.  When my best friend got married in 1983, she had a Dutch wedding because she was of Dutch origin, and in Dutch weddings the family and the other guests are expected to provide the entertainment, so they have to come up with skits about the bride and groom that are a bit of a roast.  Believe me, it's a lot less corny that a d.j. and a lot cheaper too apart from being funny.  Trust your relatives to come up with mildly embarrassing stories to tell.  It's not supposed to be humiliating to anyone.  The rule of thumb is that if it's not funny for everybody it shouldn't be told.  It isn't supposed to spoil the newlyweds' day.
That's the sort of wedding I would want now.  Beautiful music, a meaningful text and sermon, good food and good company.

That is all that's wrong with Marilyn pretty much....along with what Dr. Phil said, that is.

Sure..............she needs to put herself on the top of her TO DO list and her son must be her all in all  for he doesn't need to suffer this stuff.

I made that mistake, too............was in such a desperate situation that I "put adult issues on children", as Dr. Phil describes it.

But all those "moods" and bouncing around and talking too much at one time...........
PURE ADHD, baby!!!

There are some very good tips online to help with that.

Take it from someone who knows and is relieved that  knowing you have it is half the battle.

Cheers!

People who "are happily living together without being married" are not practicing committment.

They are practicing non-committment every step of the way and evidence proves that it affects a couple badly down the road to start out this way.  As does pre-marital sex.  Back in the day there was an awful stigma to this ....all we see is a HUGE desensitization to moral issues. 

Pretty much anything goes....with anyone (?)

Marriage is not a man-made institution.  OK?

Rick, deserves someone who will be willing  to treat him the way he deserves to be treated.  Rick is a hadsome man and would want to make him a happy man.

what are you talking about dr.phil did not say anyone is less valid because they aren't married. all he was doing is saying that marrage is not a scary thing beacuse lots of them work out fine. he used his marrage as a example. thats all. what show where you watching?

i get why chad doesn't want to spend alot of money on a party. thats right, all a wedding is, is a big party. candy, like most women, want to spend their life savings on one party, for one night. that is ridiculus. marrage is not about the party, but about the life you two will spend together. chad, if candy won't be with  you just because you don't want to spend all your money on a party, then she does not really love you. cuz if she did, it wouldn't matter.

I agree with Dr. Phil concerning pre-marital counceling, and things like money, etc. I just wish my husband and I would have learned about passive and agressive anger and how different our families were. I with we would have learned "HOW TO FIGHT" are "RULES ON FIGHTING". Here I'm 57 and my husband is 63 and he's retired and the last 3 years, is the most we've learned about getting along in our entire 27 yrs of marriage. I wish "SOMEONE" would write a book on the most important things a couple should have "rules" for fighting, and also write a book on how to raise kids. If you aren't married yet, I'd get as much pre-marital counceling as possible before getting married and get all these issues discussed ahead of time.
Jamy