2010 Shows

Dr. Phil continues his discussion with Renee, a woman who says she fears her husband, Charles, will kill her. Charles admits that he verbally abuses his wife, but accuses her of cheating on him and says she plays the victim. Renee says she stays in this volatile relationship because she loves her husband, but now she’s at the end of her rope. Dr. Phil drills down to find out what’s at the root of Charles’ anger, and the couples’ children speak up about the fighting in their home. Will Renee stay with Charles, or will she walk away for good? Learn the guidelines for leaving an abusive relationship. Plus, find out how Dr. Phil’s Silence Breakers have stepped up to help save lives, and how you can join them!

End the Silence on Domestic Violence: http://drphil.com/shows/page/end_the_silence/

Make Some Noise. Become a Silence Breaker! http://www.drphil.com/pledge_to_end_violence

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: lilylewis on Apr 13, 2011, 12:16AM - In reply to stevedee
to call a man strangling a woman 'a fight' is a bit silly. it is not a fight when a man beats a woman. it is a criminal act. when she disagrees with him, when she does things she doesn't want him to do, he beats her and destroys her sense of self confidence. that is not an argument.
in an argument two people fight and then either reach a resolution, or fight again, and maybe eventually divorce.
this man has worn down this woman's self respect so much that she no longer sees her friends or wears decent clothes, because if she does, he will beat her.
is that a fight? how is that a fight?
if you are provoking someone, you are doing things IN ORDER TO PISS THEM OFF.
but charles is provoked even when she does normal things like sees friends. that is a domestic violence reaction to normal behaviour, not a normal reaction to provoking behaviour.
she admits to sassing him  back sometimes, but wouldn't you? if your husband refused to let you leave the house - she stays in the house for weeks on end - wouldn't you occasionally get angry at him and be a bit reactive and snap at him? that is not provoking, that's just reacting to stress.
Replied By: maya_annie on Nov 26, 2010, 6:05PM
Why doesn't Dr. Phil talk about the mental illness of Borderline Personality Disorder? I believe Charles is suffering from this and making everyone around him miserable as well.  I recommend the book "Stop Walking on Eggshells" to learn about this illness.  Also know it is one of the hardest to treat.  I found this book after 29 years of marriage to a "high functioning" Narcissistic BPD man.  I always thought we provoked one another.  Our arguments sometimes lead to abuse (verbal, physical and emotional).  I noticed a cycle - provoking anger, then apologies, then normal/quiet period, then back to fighting.
Replied By: sharperk on Nov 20, 2010, 5:31AM - In reply to angelgirls1980
I had the same problem after I left my abusive husband, my daughter began having night terrors, screaming, then telling me that the dream was her father came into my new home and killed me, blood everywhere etc....... I did take her for counseling for several years, she also punched holes in wall, cried so hard because the FOC ordered that she visit him, joint counseling for her and her father...... then at age 16 she tried to commit suicide! Thank God she didn't and it came out that he was sexually abusing her when there! She use to call me just sobbing and could I come get her when she was younger, which I did, I was threatened when I did show up, but  I still went to get her, then she was perfectly composed as he demanded a hug and kiss good bye! After she was in the car, past the vision of him, she began sobbing and crying, nothing came out in counseling, but the verbal testimony by her therapist was a key in joint counsel for both of them, but she never disclosed the abuse until she was 16; prosecution began, found out later my oldest daughter had endured the same, she was at the time, before the laws changed, unable to testify regarding her abuse! My younger daughter had flash back memories after she finally refused to visit him, then the courts forcing her to visit, that she ran and hid when he came, Thank God there was a person at my home that told her father that she wasn't home, and when I did get home from work, she told him we went for a walk..... he again stopped to "get her" and she never visited him again, pedophiles will always be just that! my heart sunk to the floor, I had been working during that marriage 2 or 3 jobs, just to support my family, and finally left him as he did not work!  I was so heart broken to find out what my girls endured at the hand of someone who was suppose to be their protector, and he was the abuser! Women, please trust  your instinct, if it feels wrong, kids are scared to death in visitation, get counseling, even if the kids don't tell, I had told both my girls that no matter  what happened and if anyone touched them where their bathing suit covers to tell me, they would not be in trouble, but what do you do if the threat of them telling us is; "Killing their Mother?" Courts did not do any favors to my children; even after, the so called Friend of Court; who is there to protect the children, forced visitation on my youngest, the oldest one, was old enough at the time to choose to not visit, neither child knew of the abuse of the other, now they are close, and Protective services actually tried to blame me.... my daughters told them that someone had to work to feed them! Sad situation all the way around, the guilt Mother's feel about not knowing he could do this to his own flesh and blood, just horrible!  I continue in letting my grand kids now that it is never okay to be touched by anyone, and to let their Mother know if such things happen, and that the abuse is never their fault, and they are not to blame...... I repeat that abusers will always threaten them with something.. and they should always tell...... God Bless every child that has been through this life altering abuse! I know I had been there too, just not by my loving Father, he was a decent man, a friend of the family's son did it to me while he babysat! I was 3 or 4 years old!
Replied By: farmhand1 on Nov 20, 2010, 2:17AM
All I can say is WOW!!! After watching BOTH part 1 and part  2 I am a little surprised... I agree with someone else that Dr. Phil was easy on them. If this was 10 years down the road and that 11 year old daughter was now 21 and in an abusive relationship, and it came out that that is how she grew up, Dr. Phil would invite her mom on and ask her why she ALLOWED this to go on and why did she NOT protect her kids??????? Both fair questions. That NEVER came up!!! I also agree with another comment that it LOOKS like Charles is using drugs. And IF he is nothing will help until that is under control. As far as the mom, if she doesn't get help and he does, she WILL repeat this cycle with someone else, NOT because she LIKES it, but because she thinks she DESERVES it!!!  Where is her mom? How was she raised? It IS a cycle and those kids are next... Been there, done that...  I truely wish the best for them.
Replied By: allie9901 on Nov 19, 2010, 11:56PM
I would be confident to bet that drugs are involved with this couple.  Just wondering if any drug test's were given to this couple.  I think the husband (for sure) shows signs but, in a "smaller" way, the wife as well.  Haven't finished my "tVo'd" show yet..but, I will be surprised if Dr.Phil does not pick up on the signs........
Replied By: danits on Nov 19, 2010, 10:54PM
Replied By: nancygirl4ever on Nov 19, 2010, 10:22PM
I admire Dr. Phil for confronting this man and trying to help him. But watching this man work his jaw back in forth is a physical sign that he is on some type of speed based drug.  Sadly, I have seen people who abuse drugs. Not only are they violent, they aren't rational either. A person who has a problem with drugs will not be able to get help with anything else in their lives until they take responsibility to become drug free.
Replied By: heavenshandsme on Nov 19, 2010, 9:50PM
My life is now without abuse and the violence.  One husband planned to kill me and my intuition saved my life.  I serviced child abuse, being molested, being gang raped by neighbor boys,losing both parents at the same time  I was only 10, I was the oldest of four children, losing my youngest brother to suicide, and my son being murdered by his friends. Being raised by a messed up grandmother how didn't know how to raise girls, that's a real ordeal of it's self.     
I am in the process of writing my life story because no one will believe what I have been threw and to come out the outer side a smart person and is good with people  I was a manicurist for 27 years non stop until I was hurt in a car accident.  But in that time I have saved families, marriages and even a life. The one big reason for my book is if I can help just one person it will be worth all the time it took to write and share it.  It's like no mater how bad things are or get their is a tomorrow.  I'm just so glad that all of the bad stuff I have been threw people are now talking about everything .now I just so glad.. Well thanks
Replied By: stevedee on Nov 19, 2010, 9:41PM - In reply to couchbum
I read your message and could not agree more. It seems to me that she really has no intentions on leaving him and that he agreed to get help just because he was on the show. She may be another women who likes a guy to abuse them they call it masochism. She should have left a long time ago. I fee awful for the kids who have to see this fighting between the to of them, and she should not be provoking him. Like i said in a prior message its very important to get to the heart of the problem and find out why he didn’t have a problem with prior girlfriends just with her if you believe him which i do not but they both need to go see a consoler not just him and they need to go together and find out why he is so abusive and if its her that is provoking him maybe she also has to change some of her ways and if  either one can give and take in this marriage get out for the kids sake and come to a agreement as far a custody that both can agree on for the kids sake..
Replied By: couchbum on Nov 19, 2010, 8:33PM
The children should be taken away from both of them. The husband because he is violent. The mother because she stays and doesn't protect her children. I'm more discussed with her for staying. Neither one of thes "adults" know what love is. They do not love each other.  Dr. Phil is way to easy on both of them.
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